My goodness, crossovers are afoot

Didn't there used to be a "Worst Comic of the Month" thing on this blog? I remember such a thing existing. Who was in charge of that, because that was sort of a neat little thing. Anyway, here's your reviews or whatever.

Baldo, 10/22/09

So Baldo is doing a cross-over with Yenny this week, which is an idea that I approve of. I think it's creepy that Baldo's father is hitting on her, though. You're like, twice as old as she is.

Yenny, 10/22/09

Yenny, meanwhile, is doing a cross-over with the Flintstones. I also approve of this.

Crankshaft, 10/22/09

I doubt this child is the first to call out Crankshaft on his insane curmudgeonly ways, and I also doubt that's he's the first to acquiesce to Crankshaft's whims. I have to wonder how good that is for Crankshaft's back, though.

Broom Hilda, 10/22/09

If you want some relief from the sun, don't go to the freaking beach.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/22/09

Come on, Chip and Dale were in the Rescue Rangers where they solved more crimes and stuff than any of you committee members. Leave them alone! Or perhaps they should be under the most scrutiny, because even heroes can fall? I'll leave that up to you to decide.

Garfield, 10/22/09

Expecting a cat to take care of you while you're sick is an insane man's expectation. Also, Garfield should welcome being sick: all he does is sit around and sleep anyway, being sick would just give him an excuse. Also, if he's the right kind of sick, Jon will bring him soup and stuff.

Pluggers, 10/22/09

This would have to run on the day I'm going to look at a used car, wouldn't it? Stupid Pluggers.

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Thor and the Masters of the Universe

Today is Wednesday. It is of note because the date is 9/9/09 or 9/9/09 for our European readers. This is important because it's the only time this century that the time and the date will be exactly the same. It occurred at 9:09 and 9 seconds this morning.

So enjoy that. And enjoy some comics.


Cathy 9/9/09

What about pants? Can I just have some pants? I like pants. They go on your legs.



The Knight Life 9/9/09

I fully endorse the "Cash for Comic Strip Clunkers" program. There are far too many old strips polluting our newspaper environment with their inefficient jokes. I wonder what the incentive is to trade in your old strips? Is it pants?



Home and Away 9/9/09

That is exactly what I would have said. I'm a nerd and am not ashamed.



Yenny 9/9/09

Again, that's exactly what I would have done. What man would be able to focus on the road with a delicious behind staring him in the face?



Non Sequitur 9/9/09

That has to be the lamest hallucination ever regardless of which one is hallucinating.

The drawing also reminds me of a New Yorker cartoon. That's probably what inspired this one.

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The downturn continues turning down

Today was even worse than yesterday, comics-wise. When will this downturn end? It's even affecting adventure strips, and what sort of day is it when the "Spider-Man" strip isn't bad enough to mock? Well, here we go. I shall endeavor to do my best.

Yenny, 08/27/09

Technically from yesterday, but it showed up in the ol' DCR inbox today. The problem with this one is that, unless that girl is going to become the physical embodiment of patience, then it should be "patient". This isn't the first time I've noticed such a grammatical snafu in this strip, and I'm wondering if it's just a character quirk or an actual error.

Hi and Lois, 08/28/09

Chip is supposed to be in a band, right? Shouldn't he be appreciative of the work that those musicians have done? I mean, it's Paul McCartney. He was one of the Beatles, for god's sake. If you're going to just dismiss him as a old man rocker, then you're really selling him short.

Born Loser, 08/28/09

That guy gets it. Except, with the sliding time-line used in comic strips as well as comic books, shouldn't Brutus Thornapple be more aware of who Ozzy Osbourne is, even if he wasn't a fan? Shouldn't what I'm assuming is an "Oz Fest" t-shirt tip him off? Unless they're just portraying Brutus as a loser, which is very likely. I have some choice words to say about this strip at some later date. It'll be a theme post.

Dilbert, 08/28/09

Don't worry, Dilbert. I'm sure there are girls who'd appreciate a guy who has that cell phone app. Your real problems are the fact that you're pear-shaped and you have hair that looks like broccoli.

Judge Parker, 08/28/09

That man looks like a shaved ape. All I have to say about this.

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Can You Feel The Hate Tonight?

What is up my fellow people? Had a good weekend I hope, of course how could it not be great? You were treated to my rambling on Saturday along with beer and explosions. That makes for a good day in my book.

Here's a few comics to soften your hangover.


Yenny 7/6/09

There really isn't anything to make fun of here, I just though you might enjoy some more cartoon skin.



Non Sequitur 7/6/09

You mean Hell? Usually when I hear the phrase 'special place' I think about vaginas and penises. Usually 'special place' is used in child abuse cases. Usually when you mean Hell, you just say it. There's no need to pussyfoot around the word Hell when you have an entire ass on display.



Frog Applause 7/6/09

Remember last week when I gave some respect to Frog Applause? No? You mean you don't read each and every post? Well that's why I gave you a link. Go read, it will only take a second.


Back? Okay, on with the post.

Back then I said I no longer felt the urge to kill when I read Frog Applause. Well, this strip has renewed that fire inside me. I'm not sure if the overuse of 'working' is supposed to be humorous, but it isn't. The punchline is a well worn one and hasn't been funny since the early 1960's. If the art was better maybe I could let it slide, but it looks like something even I could draw.


I really need to stop reading Frog Applause.



Dog Eat Doug 7/6/09

Now here's a punchline I can get behind. But not too close. Shit jokes will always amuse me, partly because I have a child-like mind and partly because it takes creativity to get them into a newspaper comic strip.

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Saturday is for T&A

Well, comic strip T&A. Also, my views on super-powered women and polical pundits! Are you excited yet?



Prickly City 7/1/09

Keith Olberman is the leftist equivalent to Bill O'Reilly. I'm sorry if you didn't know that, but it's true. He does make more sense than Bill-O, as KO refers to him, but for the most part he spews the same garbage, just from a different view point.

If you want a newsman that really tells it like it is, you want Rush Limbaugh. He's my only source of reliable information in this age where the government has taken over all media.*



Yenny 7/1/09

There is no comic, that isn't actual porn, that brings more skin than Yenny. It seems the only real point the strip has is to show as much T&A as possible without actually showing any T&A. If there were more comics that had this much skin maybe the comic page would make a comeback.

(Get it? Comeback? Hehehehe)



Flight Deck 7/2/09

Why does the sperm have eyes and a mouth, but not the egg? Wouldn't it make sense to give them both human characteriztics instead of just the male part? Is this another case of sexism? Probably not since it's a lame joke about a movie that not many people remember outside of one scene.



Ink Pen 7/3/09

What's this? More sexism? Will it never end?

Wait. How did she destroy that old-timey computer? It goes from perfectly fine to smashed and we don't get to see how it gets that way? WTF? I bet that a super-fast guy came and obliterated it, as we all know that a female could never have destroyed it all by herself. Not even a super-powered one with the strength of ten men.

Wait. That makes no sense. Are my views toward sex and destruction out of line? Is my whole world view wrong?! NOOO!!


Tune in next week when something else exciting will happen.







*Not really, I hate that guy. Stephen Colbert is the only pundit that commands me.**



**Again, not really. I have no moral compass and have no reservations about cutting off your leg if it makes me smile.***



***Hmm. I guess that really does make me like Rush Limbaugh. Damn.

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What the Hell is Wrong with People?

So today I was looking at my traffic tracker for the website and someone found their way here by searching for "bryce+baker the douche". I have no idea why someone was searching for that particular combination of words, but I suddenly feel much more self conscious.

The Pajama Diaries 3/11/09

So I had a conversation with my wife earlier this week where she pointed out that I often play dumb when talking about comics and how that isn't really very funny. For an example we can use this comic right here. My joke was going to be "God I'd hate to be her kids on Friday. Money tastes like crap and I always choke on nickles and dimes." I don't really think she is going to feed her kids the money, the gimmick is that the actual joke is obvious and bad. Thus I intentionally misinterpret the punchline and make a new joke out of my misunderstanding. I saw this today and was reminded of the past conversation and I decided to put it up to my readers. There is a new poll posted where you can vote on if you enjoy my misunderstanding jokes. If enough people say they don't like them then I wont do them any more!


Cul de Sac 3/11/09

Leave it to Dill to put a positive spin on these tough economic times we're going through.


Minimum Security 3/11/09

Check out this guy in the ass-less taco suit! It's not that his ass is exposed, it is that the taco has no bottom. God, who would want a lettuce and tomato taco? I don't let anybody get away with lazy drawing or humor! I am the comic strip sheriff!


Off the Mark 3/11/09

Most people don't pee in short, quick bursts, which is the way people throw darts. If you wanted to throw darts like most people pee, you'd probably have to start from a lot farther away and just run at the board with a big spear until you ran in to it.


The Doozies 3/11/09

That's no egg. That bird left them a giant oval shit. Gross! I mean they did call the bird a "he" and male birds don't lay eggs. BIOLOGY 101 BITCHES.


Yenny 3/11/09

Is this what prisons are like in Puerto Rico? I'm usually a huge fan of Yenny - mostly because of the flesh buffet on display, but when you draw the prison bars 4 feet apart I've got to say something.

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Thursday Edition: Fashion Follies of the Funnies

Hello all. If you aren't aware of any new goings on at the Daily Comics Review then let me be the first to tell you that I am the new Comics Fashion critic for this lovely blog. Not only will I be complaining about the god awful clothes that the comic characters will be wearing but I will often be commenting on their unspoken sexual proclivities, particularly of the ghey nature. Fashion and Homosexuality, two tastes that taste great together.

My nom de plume is Stella Tamzarian, Action Librarian because I like when things rhyme, it makes life more festive. I am an actual librarian from the Detroit area, and no I will not buy you crack. I am a member of the Queer Community, thus insuring my Comics Gay-dar is always finely honed for your pleasure. I like beards and ice cream, but not at the same time.

I apologize for the lateness of this post but I am recovering from my trip over to DC for the Obama Inauguration. It was a long, cold day to be celebrating America and when I woke up this morning I felt as though Liberty beat my ass with a tire iron. I hurt in places that didn't make sense. Anyway lets get to the fashion follies of the funnies...

Yenny: 1/21/2009

This is one that Bryce pointed me toward, and with just reason. From what I understand Yenny is about Puerto-Rican Supermodels who run around with the least amount of clothes that the Newspapers will allow. Everything is draped over horribly exaggerated body parts. In this case, the man-whore Yomar is being forced to wear a tiny suit jacket designed for Organ Grinder monkeys. I may not be an expert on abs, fitness or tiny monkey clothes but are abs supposed to be concave? The only thing that outfit is accentuating are Yomar's child bearing hips and his deep self-hatred. He'll be a model yet!


F Minus: 01/18/2009

And this horrific spectacle comes from the other side of the spectrum, the fat baby fetish side. I wasn't sure what creeped me out more about this panel, the potato-like torso struggling out of the tiny shirt and diaper or the seemingly dismembered arms hanging out of the sleeves. I'm not exactly sure what is going on in this comic but I think that the husband is competing for attention from his wife the only way his inadequate brain can manage, by dressing like a baby. For your information folks at home, there is a legitimate fetish out there where adults dress as babies for sexual kicks, you may have seen it in all of its glory on an episode of CSI. I can't tell by the look on the wife's face if she's a Diaper Lover or not, the raised eyebrows are as ambiguous as they are raised but the angry baby eyebrows are priceless.

Wizard of Id: 01/17/2009
The Furry level? Can you yiff down a mountain?

Zits: 01/21/2009

Even though in the Zits universe everyone is constantly using the latest in modern, old-people frustrating technology the fashion is still very much based in that horrible period of the 90's when Blossom was a popular television series. Vest, large ugly hat, huge hooker earrings and lots of lipstick were trademarks of the Reality Bites soaked youth of the 90's and its still terrible. I haven't seen a teenager wear a flannel shirt since Kurt Cobain died, unless you count Baby Dykes but even they dress like hipsters now a days. Either the writer of Zits is an old man who has no idea how kids today dress or he has stock in the Clarissa Explains it All inspired clothing line and is trying to drum up interest. Either way its sad.


Curtis: 01/17/2009
OK, this is pretty normal for the Comics page but this just bugs me to no end. Why the hell is Curtis's hat so damn huge? And when have you ever seen somebody wearing a hat that looked like that? The laws of physics are being willfully ignored by this monstrosity of a hat and apparently he wears it to bed too! Normally I dig Curtis's style, everlasting as it is. He's got a sharp sweater and collared shirt thing going on complete with pristine white sneakers. Kanye West would be so proud if he existed on the same level of reality as the rest of humanity. But that fucking hat is obscene, thus provoking this theory about Curtis, the hat is covering a large growth that juts from the side of his head.

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Sarah Palin is Comedy Gold

That whole thing I said a while ago about not really discussing politics on the DCR has been thrown out the window. There are just too many funny comic strips about her to ignore. Sarah Palin has no place in the presidential campaign and people will look back on here selection as VP and laugh even more than they are already. YAY COMICS TIME!

Overcompensating 10/7/08

It all makes sense now. The uncanny resemblance to Mayor McCheese, the awful jokes, etc. You can put lipstick on a cheeseburger, but it's still a cheeseburger.


Yenny 10/7/08

Here we present the easy 3 step guide to know if you're reading a Yenny Cartoon - Just ask these questions. Step 1: Do the characters have hair with impossible colors? Step 2: Are there any giant exposed thighs or bursting, voluptuous breasts? Step 3: Is there a pantyshot or camel toe in at least one panel? If you answered yes to all of these questions, you're reading Yenny!


Mary Worth 10/7/08

Does Ian not not notice how Toby fell face first in to a puddle of black ink? Those are some wacky shadows.

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May 13th, 2008 Comics Review

Today my bus broke down on the way to work and I had to sit and wait 45 minutes for the next bus to come around. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this with you, but I figured if they could do something totally pointless in The Phantom then so could I!


Dick Tracy 5/13/08








Two days ago Dick was just wrapping up a case of a deformed, misunderstood artist and he's already in the office getting back to the grind. Now Tess calls and it looks like we'll be treated to the saga of "The Missing Ingredient Tess Needs for Tonights Big Dinner Party! Can You Pick It Up On The Way Home?"


Pinkerton 5/13/08








This was one of my favorite books and it's good to see Tucker taking such a liking to it. I can't wait for him to get to Fight Club and start asking Martin to "Hit him as hard as he can".


The Phantom 5/13/08








I have no idea why todays Phantom was necessary. It would be like reading Pickles with the grandpa going "Alrighty lets take a left on Mulberry street. Then I'm going to hope of the express way till exit 94, take a right at the first stop sign and then we'll be home." Sorry, there is no drama, or action, or comedy. It is just a total waste of a days strip.


Yenny 5/13/08








For those of you not familiar with Yenny, it is supposed to be a comic about a 22 year old Puerto Rican girl who wants to be a model but she has gigantic feet. The fact of the matter is the strip is about huge boobs and long legs and that apparently Puerto Ricans only wear short shorts and bikini tops. Despite the ridiculous amount of flesh in this comic it is never sexual, which makes me feel kind of pervy. That being said, today was the first day since I started reading this strip when we finally get some innuendo, thank god!

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