Strategizing

To be continued Friday at Meekrat's Emporium of Nonsensery.

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Revisiting Old Foes... but not really.

Meekrat is here again, and soon I will have things to promote again! MWA HA HA! For now, just read these reviews.


Pearls Before Swine

First off, Stephan Pastis is doing a reader interaction thing. There's no voting thing on his Facebook page yet, but soon, maybe? I wonder if the strip actually takes place in Pearlswood, though. Also, there's a Neighbor Bob AND a Bob and Patty? Methinks one of those Bobs needs to be taken out.

Frazz

You're not British, Frazz. Don't call it a loo.

Frank and Ernest

Frank and Ernest have a serious problem if, upon discovering the Lost Continent of Atlantis, their first instinct is to make a pun about a letter that has fallen off the sign.

Alley Oop

I just wanted to point out that guy in the second panel. Not many of these people have realistic body structures, but look at that guy. He has a tiny head and his body is all lumpy.

For Heaven's Sake

I guess this was a weekly thing or something. It's worth noting that the character in the second panel looks just as surprised at the terribleness of the joke as I was. I'm sure this won't be the last time we see this strip here on Mondays, as it's replaced "Girls and Sports" as my most hated strip, especially since that strip is gone now. Looking at that made me nostalgic for my old enemies, like The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee and the strips I used to blog about on my own time. Out of all of them, only The Phantom was interesting at all:

Not bad, but hey, luchadores. That's worth noting.

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The Madness is Over

March is over, and with it goes March Meekrat Madness, for once. Which means I'm less busy and now able to review things on here again, which I'm sure you're just thrilled about. Anyway, go check out the Meekrat Entertainment Group because last month showed me how angry I am with the lack of interest in my work. Here's comics:

Crankshaft

I thought Crankshaft lived in a room above the garage, like Fonzie? Also, are these two lesbians? I've been wondering that since this whole little storyline started.

Cul de Sac

I like how peg-like that kid is. Also, I'm thinking these two would just love an Asian market. Not only do they have fish with eyes, but chickens and squids with eyes as well! It would overwhelm them.

Frog Applause

I usually hate this strip, but this one made me chuckle.

La Cucaracha

I put this here because I was going to go on a long ramble about Godzilla movies but I figured that no one really came here to read me show off useless knowledge. So yeah, actually uploading this and all that proved to be useless. I do like how they call them films, though.

The Phantom

Way back when, this storyline started and I was still covering this, Mandrake the Magician, and Spider-Man on my own blog. I knew then that by the time this resolution came about, I'd be just so sick of doing daily comic commentary. Still, I'm glad I'm here so I can at least comment on the Phantom finally going after the stupid Python. He's a jerk.

Well, that's it for today. Remember to visit the sites of all of our contributors, and we have Twitters and Facebooks and all that good stuff you can follow and like and all that rigmarole.

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Love Is... Passive Aggressive

First and foremost, take a look, the Daily Comics Review got a shout-out in Sunday's My Cage:

It's rather bittersweet, since the strip's days are sadly numbered. Now then, onto today's comics. Oh, and you should go to the Meekrat Entertainment Group. There's comics, fiction, and more over there.

9 to 5

I know the rupees they're referring to, but I can't read this and think that they're getting the ones from "Legend of Zelda". My mind's been warped beyond belief, I guess.

Spider-Man

Spider-Man marches on! After a brief flirtation between the Mole Man and Mary Jane (not abnormal, as most villains in this strip see Mary Jane and immediately want her) the Mole Man does the noble thing and abandons his quest for a married woman. A widowed woman, however, is not off-limits. Oddly, villains lusting after Aunt May is not entirely unheard of, though I think this might be the first time the Mole Man has done it.

The Phantom

After last week's poor showing by the Ghost-Who-Walks, he decided that, "Hey, it'd be really stupid of me to check every cell but one." Just wanted to keep you updated.

Committed

Doesn't every schoolchild know the story of how Teddy Roosevelt didn't kill a baby bear, leading to the creation of the teddy bear? I do like some of the alternate names, though. Who wouldn't want a Otmar Bear?

Love Is

Thanks to being a Daily Comics Reviewer, I've been exposed to more comic strips than I actually wanted to be exposed to. While many are good, and even more are passable, there's also the terrible and downright soul-crushing. "Love Is" falls into the latter group, if only for its saccharine nature and creepy naked baby-people. I've noticed something, though. What if the strip wasn't a diabetes-inducing treatise on love, but rather a series of passive-aggressive notes from the strip's maker to their significant other? For example, today's strip is basically saying, "Stop sleeping around, you cad!" Or, let's take a look at last Friday's:

The message here being, "For the love of God, spend some time with your kids!" Or, here's one from god-knows-when:

The message here would be, "Let's do some role-play." I won't show any more examples, since viewing more than three "Love Is" panels in such a short time will upset your blood-sugar levels, but I think it wouldn't be a stretch to say that every strip could be viewed with the filter of "passive-aggressive significant other" and be, if not enjoyable, then perhaps a tad more tolerable.

The Born Loser

I've never hated Hurricane Hattie more than I do at this moment.

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Filled with RAGE

I'm oddly angry today. For less anger, check out the Meekrat Entertainment Group!

Big Top

I know a lot of guys who'd look favorably on a girl who wants a Star Trek fan. And doesn't this guy know that "Star Trek" was one of the more popular films last year? I'm tired of cartoonists thinking that science fiction and fantasy fans are someone the lepers of today's society. In fact, here, this explains my feelings so much better:

Also, cartoonists, don't you realize that other than old people, the only people who keep reading your comic strips are the same people you keep mocking?

Spider-Man

It looks like Aunt May is going to get captured by the Mole Man, who we might be able to classify as a hobo. Does this mean the Fantastic Four will show up, and we might get to see Spider-Man in the Mole Man's subterranean realm? I hope so! This also means my years of commenting on the strip have allowed me a level of prescience regarding it, as I said last week that we were going to see Aunt May kidnapped and turned into the queen of the hobos.

The Phantom

This also angers me, simply because the Phantom could save himself a lot of heartache and grief by not being lazy here. Just check the last cell, Ghost-Who-Walks-But-Only-If-He-Feels-Like-It!

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Choose Your Own Commentary!

CHOOSE YOUR OWN COMMENTARY! The first two strips have multiple commentaries. You can read just one, or read them all! Or none of them, because this is so horribly late because I completely forgot about it.

Grin and Bear It

A) You know what's almost as old as that Colosseum? Jokes about vuvuzelas.
B) Yes, because I'm sure that a structure which has been around since 80AD would be put down by annoying noises. If all Roman structures had this flaw, then the first thing I'm doing when they invent time machines is go back to ancient Rome with a few kazoos. I'll be their emperor before long!

Off the Mark

A) I remember "Dilbert" having a punchline which featured Dilbert dressed as Dungbeetleman. Not saying this strip stole that, just that hey, dung beetle jokes.
B) One would have to assume that Dungbeetleman would have super-powers along the lines of the Prince from the "Katamari" games.
C) This is the second panel featuring super-heroes in as many days from "Off the Mark". I wonder if this trend will continue, or this was just a brief hiccup.

The Phantom

This storyline was supposed to last well into next year, but I guess it's either wrapping up or the Phantom will find and rescue Diana and then there'll be some more stuff about him tracking down the Python. In the old Disney Comics "DuckTales" comic, they had something similar, except replace "Phantom" with "Uncle Scrooge", "Diana" with "Webby", and the "Python" with "Magica DeSpell".

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Totes Crazy

So here's some stuff for you. Enjoy it, I guess.

Girls and Sports

These guys? You see these guys? They're jerks.

F Minus

I really like this idea. Maybe someone can follow it up with a cartoon of a bunch of the state birds in a club, with some non-state bird outside being told by a burly sort of falcon that he's not official, he can't come in. I would laugh for... about two seconds, but I would remember the strip fondly for days.

Nancy

Sometimes, a comic strip will just go with a joke they know is really lame, but immediately call themselves out on it. This is what's happening here, obviously. Sluggo knows what's up.

The Phantom

So does this mean that Diana was successful in her call, but the message stops with her folks? Poor Kit. Maybe he'll find out later.

Oh? What's that?

I do the Phantom on my own site?

Not anymore.

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Sunday Comics Featuring a Fist O' Justice

Hope you all had a good Christmas or whatever you all celebrate. How many of you checked out the massive X-Mas X-Travaganza on the 25th? Well, if you haven't, do it after this entry. The odd panel featuring someone apparently about to punch a helpless old lady is from today's Brenda Starr. I enjoyed the fist so much that I just had to include it because, in all honesty, there are surprisingly few fist close-ups on the comics pages anymore. Now, onto the comics.


The Argyle Sweater 12/27/09

It took me a minute to understand the joke in this comic. Somehow I don't see Jimmy Stewart going into a Hooters.

Cul De Sac 12/27/09

I'm not making any resolutions this year. I typically fail mine sometime in February or March anyway. What the hell is going on in the first four panels?

Mary Worth 12/27/09

Ignoring the awesomeness of Wilbur's possible illegitimate son arriving spontaneously on his doorstoop, Wilbur can't get off of his fat ass to answer the door but he'll haul his butt into the kitchen to fix those 17 bologna sandwiches he made a week ago?

Nest Heads 12/27/09

Ooh, a history lesson. Archduke Ferdinand (not to be confused with silent comic strip star Ferd'nand) was assassinated in 1914 which ultimately led to World War I. The thing is, Gavrilo Princip killed Ferdinand, not the year 1914 so I think all the year is going to do is be moody and ignore everyone by either texting or not taking his damned iPod earbuds out.

Ziggy 12/27/09

Goddammit, Ziggy! It's 10 degrees outside! Do you ever wear any pants?!!

Todd the Dinosaur 12/27/09

Why didn't they throw those oranges away when they got that bad? I agree that men suck at doing grocery shopping. They need to have a list or 1)they'll buy a bunch of junk that will just sit around or 2)they'll buy just enough for a couple of days so they will just have to get out and get more.

My Cage 12/27/09

I've never watched "It's a Wonderful Life" all the way through. I want to and I do like the movie but I've never watched it all the way through. And I'm sorry but not liking a movie is no reason to throw someone off of a bridge.

Adam @ Home 12/27/09

Yeah, no one wants to see Adam's sweatpant bulge anyway.

Heaven's Love Thrift Shop 12/27/09

Yeah, and do you know why it worked for "A Charlie Brown Christmas"? Because even in 1965, Peanuts was a beloved comic strip and everyone could identify with Charlie Brown's hatred of Christmas commercialism and Linus basically reminding all of us that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ. You, Heaven's Love... whatever it is, are just usurping a wonderful Christmas tradition and using it for your own idiotic purposes.

Fun fact: CBS originally didn't want Linus to quote from the Bible but Charles Schulz and Bill Melendez fought to keep it in. I'm not religious but good for them.

The Buckets 12/27/09

Uh, the creepy yellow insane kid in my kitchen?

The Phantom 12/27/09

Is...Is the Phantom going to rape that kid?

Sherman's Lagoon 12/27/09

Is...Is Sherman going to rape Fillmore?

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#301-A Saturday Session

Welcome one and all to another edition of the Weekly Comics Review only on Saturday. We have as many comics today as Bryce posted all week, so be prepared.


Blondie 3/25/09

When was this written? It must be 5 years ago. Well, I guess it could have been written last week and this is the futile attempt of a comic strip trying to be modern.

They might as well have said "Mr. Bumsted is totally rad and tubular".

That might have been more funny.



Beetle Bailey 3/24/09

Beetle looks like he is going to puke. Is that a racing strategy? Puke at the starting line so all your opponents are grossed out and you can win easily.

At least it wasn't another joke about how the Army has a rigid command system.



What the Duck 3/24/09

This is exactly how it goes. We slave away, doing quality work and then some jackass comes in with his retarded picture of a cat sleeping (or something equally dumb) and it's the biggest thing since StarWars Kid.

What I'm getting at is that you should go click on the button that says donate. It's right over on the side bar. On your left. No, your other left, stupid. There you go, now click donate $10,000. You don't have $10,000? Well, go find it, we'll wait for you.






































I'm sick of waiting, on to the other comics.

Chuckle Bros 3/23/09

This is the dumbest word play I have ever seen. Chuckle Bros receives a D-, they avoided a FAIL because of the subtlety.



Phantom 3/23/09

Our compatriot, Mike P, at Meekrat Entertainment has been following this Phantom storyline since it began in the 1700's. I can only imagine his glee when he saw the Croccos jumping off a boat yet again. It is the only thing in the story that isn't completly stupid and boring.



The New Adventures of Queen Victoria 3/23/09

I'm going to ignore the main point of the comic for fear of another backlash. Instead I'm going to draw your attention to the upper-right of the last panel. See what it says?

I agree with the statement 100%. I am over her and if we stop paying attention to her, she might just go away, or do a Playboy shoot or something.



Soup to Nutz 3/24/09

Only if you teach him to drink a lot.

Or if you teach him to play Beer Pong.



That's all folks. No Webcomic of the Week because I was too busy to compile a review this week. Sorry, but you'll have to deal with it.

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