Little turtle head poking out

Holy shit.  It's been almost a year since the last stupid post on this stupid site.  All the paid subscriptions to the comic strip websites are long dead.  I doubt anybody visits any more because it's obvoius this site is dead.  I personally haven't sat down and read a full comics page in a newspaper in a couple of years.  So why am I posting and not just letting this die a silent death?  F if I know. 

I still follow a lot of web comics on twitter because they're funny people and KC Green had a crazy sale on all five of his Gunshow collections.  I had to get them.  Since I've started reading through them I am being reminded of how much I love comics.  And I think I want to start writing about them again.  Thanks KC!

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Aluminum hats, 50 years out of date, freaky-deaky, and Ziggy steals my thunder

No time to waste! Let's get the comic fun started: 

Pickles by Brian Crane:

This child is an idiot.  If you want people not to read your thoughts, your hat has to be made out of aluminum foil at minimum, and if it's a super telepathic mutant like Professor X, you need a sweet metal helmet like Magneto wears.  Jeez, that is some lazy writing.  Pick up an X-Men comic book (they publish about 20 of them a month, it seems these days) or watch one of the  movies already...Well, not X-Men 3,  The Last Stand. That was an un-watchable catastrophe of epic proportions.  In fact, I think its time to pretend that the movie never happened. Yup, wiped it from my memory right there.

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Rose is Rose by Don Wimmer / Created by Pat Brady

I don't have anything to say about this strip. I find it kinda boring and predicable, and hardly ever funny. I do find it fascinating (I read all the comics, even the ones I don't like, because....well, they're comics!) that in this strip, the husband, Jimbo, hates that his skinny wife is thin and fantasizes about her being fat like her mother.  FREAKY!  Rose, the wife, is a wall-flower who imagines that she's a motorcycle chick clad in leather and kicking ass all over town.  S&M and LEATHER, yee-hah! 

Today's strip? Who cares, no one is getting their freaky imagination on and there's no point in reading.

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Soup to Nutz by Rick Stromoski:

Give me a break! Kids watching the Lone Ranger? I am a male in the 25 to 49 year old range...I AM YOUR TARGET MARKET! APPEAL TO ME, I DEMAND YOU APPEAL TO ME!!!!  

The Lone Ranger? A show popular around World War II? Are these two really watching the Lone Ranger?  My kids are the age these two are drawn as, and they'd identify the Lone Ranger as....no one, nothing.  And I cram culture down their throats: I make them watch M*A*S*H and WKRP in Cincinnati. The Lone Ranger was old and out-of-date when I was young.  Heck, the Lone Ranger was classic TV when my mother was a child.  Are cartoonists reduced to stealing punchlines from the 1950s? What next, the strip going to recycle Daisy Mae going to try to marry L'il Abner? Cultural references 50 years out-of-date...so much fun.

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Nest Heads by John Allen:

Um, the woman in the picture is ripping off his shirt because they are gonna get super freaky-deaky!  Wait, you wouldn't say that to the kid?  Oh, and instead you;d go and give the kid a complex about human reproduction? That's what you want to teach them?  What is with the facial expression on goggles  lady in the third panel? She is pissed  off that there is sex going on somewhere.  Laundry.  Yeah, great response, you spinster Puritan.   Hope you get stuck with the kid's psychiatric bills when she's a teen.

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Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II:

You know, some days they take the words right out of your mouth...ain't that the truth, Ziggy. Ain't that the truth!

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Friday Comics for YOU!

Two days of comics in one? Who could ask for more! This weekend we will be welcoming our newest contributor, Kaitlyn! She is the proprietor of the amazing blog Plug It Up which ridicules the daily chronicling of Pluggers - a God awful excuse for single panel cartooning. She brings some life on the weekends back to the DCR and we think you will like her style and humor.


B.C. 12/12/08

Look, I know comics are supposed to be G-rated and take things out of context and abuse puns, etc to oblivion. I just feel they totally missed a chance to make a hilarious sex joke, one which I will now make for them. Just replace "Algebra" with "fucking". Hmm, that actually works for almost any sentence with algebra in it.


Apartment 3-G 12/12/08

Apartment 3-G - The land that "innocent until proven guilty" forgot. BORING


Gil Thorpe 12/11/08

Look look look! A character in a comic strip that has the same name as me! We all know I presume any connection I find between myself and what I do on this blog with actual comics is always on purpose, it seems a creator has finally decided to honor the DCR by naming a character in their strip after me. Suck on that Fruhlinger!


Herb and Jamaal 12/11/08

Would it be a week in the comics without one character hoping another character was dead already? I know it hasn't been a full week of reading the funnies unless I'm daydreaming about a Keane family minivan rollover accident.

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The Daily Comics Review Welcomes a Special Guest

Sorry for no update on Monday, we are working on a forumla that should get more frequent updates on to your screens to enjoy. Crime Scene Investigator Alfonso has joined us today to help review the comics. Hold on, here we go!

Soup to Nutz 12/9/08

Comic Guy-Wow, a comic about a kid saying he will call out a hit the other kid if he slushballs him, just hilarious!
CSI:A-You know, Santa does shoot people. There were twelve homicides just last year commited by perps wearing Santa outfits.
CG-Ho, ho, ho! Thank god it's still difficult for kids these days to get guns.
CSI:A-You'd be surprised.
CG-HAPPY HOLIDAYS!


Andy Capp 12/9/08

CSI:A-After that second panel I could have sworn Andy was on his way to bash Flo's brains out with that hammer. Whew, what a relief!
CG-Uh..... yeah Alfonso. I would think it would be the other way around seeing how Flo works all day at a job and then comes home and take care of her worthless booze-hound husband all day. He he, might actually liven this strip up a bit.
CSI:A-You would be amazed how many people just snap. I remember this one time this guy took a barstool and...
CG-WOW LOOK AT THE NEXT COMIC!


Crankshaft 12/9/08

CSI:A-Lonely bus drivers and attractive young ladies - now there's a combo I've seen just too many damn times.
CG-Oh I'm sure you have, but lets not..
CSI:A-And this strip is called Crankshaft? Oh god I remember this one guy we were tracking, he was a big fan the tire iron. He'd leave one at every crime scene. You see, he would take 'em and insert...CG-WOOO HOO HOO LOOK AT THE TIME! Thanks for stopping by Alfonso, I'm sure we'll see you back here some time.

On a final note - we are looking for other, perhaps less traumatized, comic bloggers who would like to contribute to the DCR on a regular basis. We can talk revenue sharing even, since nobody wants to work for free. If it means more content for the site then I'm happy to split up some of my 17 cents a week I make on ads.

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The Thanksgiving Comic Strip Special 2008

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY! Instead of the usual comics review today I will bend these comic strips to my will so I can show what I am thankful for on this holiday week.

F-Minus 11/24/08 & 11/26/08


I give thanks for the great new humorists like Tony Carillo who make me laugh every day so that I can read all the bad comics and not hate the world for it. We need more new blood in the syndication print scene and not just on the web; if you appreciate their work as much as I do, send them emails and buy their books so they feel the love.


In The Bleachers 11/26/08

I'm thankful for football. It's gratuitously violent one moment and extraordinarily elegant the next. This has been another amazing year of college ball and it's not even over yet!


Lio 11/24/08

Cross-strip comics are another thing to be thankful for. The more horrible things Pearls Before Swine or Lio can manage to do to the Family Circus kids, the better. Cameos and practical jokes that cross from one strip to another may be easy pickings but low hanging fruit can be delicious too!


Judge Parker 11/24/08

I'm thankful for soap opera strip depictions of late night sexual liasons in hotel rooms. Oh wait that's not what's going on here? Then how about the way you can twist a single day of any soap strip to fit your own twisted purpose? That's the trick.


Gil Thorpe 11/25/08

Freedom of speech?


Basic Instructions 11/24/08

Cats? Yes I'm thankful for my noisy cats too. Of course I am also thankful for my wife, my family, health, my job - but how funny are those things?

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Working on the Weekend for Nothin'

I don't work on the blog on the weekend, but I promised a post for Friday and that fell through and I have some backlogged work I need to do for some kind people who sent me things to review. I am a slave to you all.

Safe Havens 11/15/08

OK I'm sorry but Google Maps doesn't update all the time. Maybe once every few years you get a new shot of your house on there to make you feel special.


PC & Pixel 11/13/08

Oh poor innocent Pixel, that full body rubber suit is definitely for something else. Blech. On another note, have you ever thought about all the horrible things your pets see every day? You do things in front of your animals that you would never do in front of a child or another human being. Maybe that's why they just go crazy sometimes.

Alley Oop 11/13/08

Alley Oop 11/14/08

Carole and Jack Bender are possibly the laziest cartoonists in the world right now. If you're telling a long and drawn-out story and your strip is in the usual long rectangle format, how about more than 2 panels per strip? It's not like they're packing each cell with details or action, god forbid dialog. Ooola will be falling down off this cliff for the next 2 years.


Ben 11/14/08

WOW BEN, THANKS FOR THE HALLOWEEN COMIC TWO WEEKS LATE! Can't wait for the Veterans Day strip some time next week.

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A Steady Decent in to Madness À La Mark Trail

Slylock Fox 11/12/08

The dog has evolved to a higher level of consciousness and is able to express himself artistically? No? Uh, the pig is freeloading and the only one not traveling under his own power? The fish is dead?


The Amazing Spider-Man 11/12/08

Pretty sure that trying to derail a train is a crime punishable by quite a few years in prison. Spidey has finally crossed the line between good and evil.


Annie 11/12/08

Either Annie's writer has never heard of thought bubbles or a narrator, or Warbucks is going stark raving mad. Hopefully this kind of detailed description of actions taking place will cut out whenever nature calls.


Edge City 11/12/08

Apparently Edge City reference to how this comic strip is right on the edge of being entertaining. A storyline about buying old, outdated radios off the internet. Dang EC you are giving Mary Worth a run for their money!


Mark Trail 11/12/08

Please someone help me! I am actually interested to see how Mark will rescue Sneaky. If someone could call the hospital to come pick me up I'll thank you after they let me out.

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Funky Winkerbean Forsees the Coming of the End

Funky Winkerbean 11/11/08

WATCH OUT, A TUESDAY DCR UPDATE AHHHHHH!! I have no idea what this gentleman's name is but I'd have to guess "old Mario" from his plumber-esque good looks. What's the funniest thing you can think of that this comic might be alluding to? The comments section would love to know.


Mark Trail 11/11/08

You might just want to leave him be Mark. Somebody named "Rabbit" already has no dignity and those with nothing to lose are known to be voracious fighters.


Liberty Meadows 11/11/08

South Park got it wrong when they speculated the next species to challenge humanity would be sea otters. Squirrels used to be a rare sight but their numbers have been increasing in cities and suburbs across America at an alarming rate. The furry revolution could be upon us at any time, STAY VIGILANT FELLOW CITIZENS!


Snapshots 11/10/08

Ask if she does pedicures too Bob.

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The Occassional Comics Review 10/27/08

Overcompensating 10/27/08

Ashley Todd is my God now.


Blondie 10/27/08

It only took a couple extra years, but Blondie writers finally hosted their first cross strip humor, if you can call it that. Too bad they missed the boat THREE YEARS AGO when Pastis and others started the damn idea.


Slylock Fox 10/27/08

The real mystery here is what the worlds largest pearl was doing at the Forest Museum? If I could choose my reincarnation for the next life, it would definitely be a gorilla in a purple suit.


Zits 10/27/08

Obviously someone could, or we wouldn't have today's Zits strip, which would just be such a loss.


Frog Applause 10/27/08

Take one strip that knows it is bizarre and have it make fun of another strip which is just naked children who need antidepressants and you have today's Frog Applause.


Garfield 10/27/08

Wait, what? No lasagna, animal-on-animal violence, or inept relationship happenings... this can't be Garfield.


Diesel Sweeties 10/23/08

Halloween is a special time of year when the deformed and hideous can, if only for one night, be the envy of everyone else who had to buy their costume.

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Humping Away on Another Hump Day

Dinosaur Comics 10/22/08

Instead of "I'm lazy" you could say "I have the work ethic of the Daily Comics Review".


Family Circus 10/22/08

"Punished? Every day of my life is consumed by you and your fellow 'gifts from god'. MY LIFE IS HELL, WHY GOD WHY?" You set em up Keane brothers and I knock em down.


Beetle Bailey 10/22/08

Am I to understand that Beetle doesn't even take off the hat when he's shagging Miss Buxley? You learn something every day. For example, did you know Miss B is in every Wednesday strip? No one knows why.


XKCD 10/22/08

God I hate that too. Somebody always uses a really crappy small word for the first one and it makes the rest of the game suck.

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The Monday/Tuesday Comics Megapost!

Basic Instructions 10/20/08

You don't have to be sick to get better!


The Meaning of Lila 10/20/08

As long as men control the world I can guarantee this will never change, because I would never allow it. Whoever the victims may be in this situation, heterosexual men everywhere are the beneficiaries.


Shoe 10/20/08

Shoe will you please stop trying to be B.C. with your awful puns? You already have a place in the boring old comic strips that haven't been funny since the 80's section.


B.C. 10/21/08

Shoe I am so sorry I compared you to B.C. because you are light-years better. Why would a bird need a helmet? How would you not be certain about if you bought something on eBay? Does this have anything to do with anything or is it as pointless as it seems?


Between Friends 10/20/08

I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time I've snarked Between Friends but for a brief recap it's about a group of women and how they bitch about everything. For the last month it has been about this blond chick and how Maeve wants to help her escape her abusive husband. Sounds like a laugh riot perfect for the funny pages right? The only person Jake is humiliating is himself, that 70's porn mustache still can't hide his hairlip scar.


Cul de Sac 10/21/08

With the crushing depression of no longer being able to fulfill her dream of going out as a bat for Halloween, Alice has no other choice than to go as Eeyore.


Rhymes with Orange 10/20/08

There is a 50% chance your arm will also be clawed to oblivion with cats.


Pibgorn 10/21/08

Geoff here is asking the same question I was asking myself except in my case it was about this strip. Any strip that needs its own tribute page in order to explain what the hell is going on has transcended regular comic strip culture and has turned the bend in to its' own rectum. Sorry PIGBORN lovers.

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