Aluminum hats, 50 years out of date, freaky-deaky, and Ziggy steals my thunder

No time to waste! Let's get the comic fun started: 

Pickles by Brian Crane:

This child is an idiot.  If you want people not to read your thoughts, your hat has to be made out of aluminum foil at minimum, and if it's a super telepathic mutant like Professor X, you need a sweet metal helmet like Magneto wears.  Jeez, that is some lazy writing.  Pick up an X-Men comic book (they publish about 20 of them a month, it seems these days) or watch one of the  movies already...Well, not X-Men 3,  The Last Stand. That was an un-watchable catastrophe of epic proportions.  In fact, I think its time to pretend that the movie never happened. Yup, wiped it from my memory right there.

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Rose is Rose by Don Wimmer / Created by Pat Brady

I don't have anything to say about this strip. I find it kinda boring and predicable, and hardly ever funny. I do find it fascinating (I read all the comics, even the ones I don't like, because....well, they're comics!) that in this strip, the husband, Jimbo, hates that his skinny wife is thin and fantasizes about her being fat like her mother.  FREAKY!  Rose, the wife, is a wall-flower who imagines that she's a motorcycle chick clad in leather and kicking ass all over town.  S&M and LEATHER, yee-hah! 

Today's strip? Who cares, no one is getting their freaky imagination on and there's no point in reading.

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Soup to Nutz by Rick Stromoski:

Give me a break! Kids watching the Lone Ranger? I am a male in the 25 to 49 year old range...I AM YOUR TARGET MARKET! APPEAL TO ME, I DEMAND YOU APPEAL TO ME!!!!  

The Lone Ranger? A show popular around World War II? Are these two really watching the Lone Ranger?  My kids are the age these two are drawn as, and they'd identify the Lone Ranger as....no one, nothing.  And I cram culture down their throats: I make them watch M*A*S*H and WKRP in Cincinnati. The Lone Ranger was old and out-of-date when I was young.  Heck, the Lone Ranger was classic TV when my mother was a child.  Are cartoonists reduced to stealing punchlines from the 1950s? What next, the strip going to recycle Daisy Mae going to try to marry L'il Abner? Cultural references 50 years out-of-date...so much fun.

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Nest Heads by John Allen:

Um, the woman in the picture is ripping off his shirt because they are gonna get super freaky-deaky!  Wait, you wouldn't say that to the kid?  Oh, and instead you;d go and give the kid a complex about human reproduction? That's what you want to teach them?  What is with the facial expression on goggles  lady in the third panel? She is pissed  off that there is sex going on somewhere.  Laundry.  Yeah, great response, you spinster Puritan.   Hope you get stuck with the kid's psychiatric bills when she's a teen.

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Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II:

You know, some days they take the words right out of your mouth...ain't that the truth, Ziggy. Ain't that the truth!

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Casinos are fun too!

It can be hard to find a good poker game.  Besides comics, I love me some poker.  I've tried lots of sites online, but for poker it's hard to beat the real thing.  Also - green alien with pink polkadots?  Awesome.

Friends all have different schedules, and the logistics can oftentimes make getting together not even worth it!  I've found that playing Blackjack online helps make it from one game with friends to the next.  When is Carlos playing?  If there's meat I'll be there!

While it's not quite what T-rex had envisioned, an online Internet Casino offers tons of ways to play and win
 24-hours a day.

Remember, it's just a game!  Also, are these people gambling at work or do they just hang out at home in dress shirts and ties?  Either way, bad idea!

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Monday Comics Extravaganzor

I hope you all had a happy thanksgiving! I'm thankful that we upgraded to unlimited bandwidth after Mikey P dropped a bomb of thanksgiving comics for you all to enjoy last Thursday. Couldn't have done it without our amazing Project Wonderful advertisers - check them out today! I don't get paid by you clicking on the ads but I still want you to check out any of their sites that look interesting to you!

Bizarro 11/30/09

Seriously Dan Piraro? That is so lame that you're using your position of fame and notoriety to wish someone a personal happy birthday in newspapers across America. FOR SHAME! By the way, it's my wife's birthday tomorrow - hope you have a great one sweety!

Pardon My Planet 11/30/09

"I also love your yellow and green hair. GO DUCKS!"

Buckles 11/30/09

Buckles: more bestiality than you could ever really justify.

Henry 11/30/09

What are some other reasons why Henry would be buying an extra-large men's handkerchief? I'm sure you devotees can use your creative energies and come up with some great suggestions!

Between Friends 11/30/09

Sometimes you just have to say something, even when you know it will get you in to trouble. Between Friends is an awful name for this strip. They should have called it "Bitches Be Crazy!".

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Some Awesome Stuff, Then Some Other Stuff

Sorry about the late post. I swear, it's not you - it's me.

Last Kiss 11/23/09

Here is your first awesome thing in today's post, presuming you appreciate boobs (everyone should).

Bliss 11/23/09

That bird looks.... delicious. Unbeknownst to most people turkeys actually are one of the top five ugliest creatures currently in existence. If not for their tastiness they would have been wiped from the planet much like the ugly ass dodo and people who had mullets in the 80s.


Non Sequitur 11/23/09

A contest? Go forth DCR devotees and scare the world with your inappropriate suggestions!

Brainwaves 11/23/09

We had an awesome bird two comics back, so here we have 2 birds that are so fat there is no way they could achieve take-off. I'm not size-ist or nothin, but that lady-bird friend of yours might have left for some other reason than the song thing. Just saying.

Birdbrains 11/23/09

GOOD GOD THAT IS HORRIFYING!

Cul De Sac 11/23/09

And now you feel like you're hallucinating. I think my work today is done.

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Of Dicks and Family Circus

I think that each and every Monday I will try to bring you some comics that have nothing to do with sex, but if you read them in the right(wrong) frame of mind it will make them dirty and awful, hopefully for your enjoyment! This is going to be tasteless so hopefully you've recently had your tongue removed.

Bizarro 11/16/09

Speaking of oversized equipment, eh he he he he......

Zits 11/16/09

Is it normal to talk to your parents about your friends.... uh.... junk?

Buckles 11/16/09

This one is for you Sparky, I'm not even going to explain it. We don't need Google increasing our page rank for bestiality any more than it already is.

Mutts 11/16/09

It's nice to have something in common with Earl.

Family Circus 11/16/09

What the hell? This doesn't compute - is Billy trying to climb up in to that tree from the fence on to that tiny branch? He doesn't need a guardian angel, just some common fucking sense. DICKS!

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Mark Trail Wins!

Mark Trail 5/6/09

The year is over 1/3 over already and you might as well stop reading all comics for the rest of the year. Without even trying, Jack Elrod has created the funniest comic strip you will see for the next 200 some odd days. I can honestly say it is fucked up and disturbing how excited I am to see Mark ride his horse down the hill and kick these two amateur bankrobbers (and worst kidnappers ever) asses with his fist. Actually, that sounds pretty gross. And poorly phrased.


It's All About You 5/6/09

I've often wondered what I would think if I ran in to someone else who was exactly like me. Probably "I'm not gay, but that guy right there is pretty attractive."


Family Tree 5/6/09

INGRID? HA HA HA WHAT A STUPID ASS NAME! Sorry if that is your name, but I don't personally know any one named Ingrid, so I don't feel bad making that joke. By the way, saying "made up-sounding African names is still a little racist. A little.

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OH GOD BORING TUESDAY

There's only so much you can do when it's just not there. "What is it?" you may wonder. if you have to ask, you'll never understand.


Pickles 5/5/09

You could even say it's getting more and more leotarded. I am a huge Dan Savage fan and I have been waiting for a chance to bring out his new term he minted in last weeks column. If you don't read Savage Love or listen to the Savage Lovecast, you are missing out. When I was thinking about starting a blog originally I either wanted to do comics or sex advice, but who wants to listen to a 20-something married guy talk about comics, I MEAN SEX.

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Just Another Sunday... NOT!

So today is kind of a big deal. One year ago I made my first post and the Daily Comics Review was born. It hasn't always been every day, funny, or about comics, but it has been 365 days! I've learned a lot about blogging, networking and promotion in this time. I've read several thousand comic strips and web comics in order to bring you a handful of the best and worst each day. This whole thing has been pretty cool.

Before I show you all some strips to illustrate what is new and what hasn't changed in the last year, I've got some people to thank! Eric Carlson was my first assistant and without his formating and SEO help the DCR might never have gotten off the ground. Brian Hall of Watch This Space was the first person to take a crack at covering the weekend, and although he doesn't stop by very often any more, he took the 7-days-a-week pressure off my shoulders which definitely helped me not burn out. All of my current writers are bad asses. Kaitlyn, XY and Stella all volunteer their time here to help me attempt my own little internet dream and I hope you all stay around the DCR for a long time. Lastly I would like to thank the fans! One comment about something you liked or hated can make all the difference between feeling like I'm making something people enjoy and is worth my time, or that I am just kidding myself in to thinking someone would read what I write.

Rhymes with Orange 4/26/09

It was true when I started and it's still true today. If you look hard enough you can find someone doing something original and entertaining every day within this medium we all love.

Watch Your Head 4/26/09

I know last year when we started the newspaper comic page wasn't doing so well but it seems the degeneration is accelerating more every day. Comics as we know them are changing drastically and it is our job as fans to support what we love. Look for more calls for action this year as we get involved in the fight to save our media.


The Family Circus 4/26/09

I've said it before and I'll say it again - everyone hates Jeffey. We will continue to strike against bad cartoons and lazy creators every day until our dying day, and that's a promise.


Nest Heads 4/26/09

That dying day might not be too far off if creators keep making these Google Earth comics. If I am still reading these in a year I don't think I'll want to live any more.

So when I read this post one year from now here is what I hope is new: 1:This fucking recession is over. 2: The website is even more popular and people are loving our podcasts. 3: I am crowned comedy king of the interwebs!

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The Old Guard Dominates the Young Guns

We spend a lot of time here at the DCR decrying the staleness and banality of many older comic strips, but today it's time to recognize why they can still keep up with the new strips out there. If you're comic strip has survived for more than a decade then you must be doing something right. Those comics that are older than most people can carry on, largely on familiarity and devotion of a fan base that may have been reading and following the characters for as long as they can remember. Ferd'nand is a pantomime strip that has been around since 1947. The writers have been able to keep it fresh for over 60 years now - even without dialog or some zany, far out concept.

Ferd'nand 4/9/09

Nothing really spectacular, it's just hilarious the way the bear is just kind of leaning on the table like "Hey you gonna eat that?" and then Ferd and his dog just watch for a safe distance.

In contrast we have comics like Todd the Dinosaur. This strip is 8 years old and I really, REALLY want to like it. The premise is a guy who just happens to have a 12-foot tall T-Rex for a friend/roommate. You would think there would be mountains of material here, but Todd seems to struggle with an identity. Sometimes the jokes relate to Todd being a dinosaur, other times we have site gags or bad play-on-words, but almost every day it feels like I am reading a joke someone else has already done, except this time it's supposed to be funny because it's coming out of a dinosaur's mouth.

Todd the Dinosaur 4/10/09

Classic case of thinking up a joke (cold feet mis-understanding, soooo funny) and then fabricating a situation in an attempt to make that joke work. We've discussed how this is a bad idea 99.9% of the time, as most cartoonists have a tentative at best relationship with reality. If a 12-foot T-Rex is standing on your feet they wont be cold, they'll be flat.

So what is the point in all this? Premise means nothing if you can't come up with your own new jokes that take advantage of your settings. If half of your jokes would be just as funny if you replaced the nutty, out of place character (T-Rex) with another boring human, then you are underutilizing the very gag that is supposed to make your comic unique.

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The Worst Comic for March 2009

No fool's day hijinks here, just getting down to business and choosing our worst comic for the month! Peruse the selection and then make your pick by voting in our poll in the sidebar. You can also voice your own opinion in our handy comments at the bottom of the post. Lastly please remember to email us with your own nominations through out the month on April, if we agree then you might earn some mad props.


Family Circus 3/27/09

"Nope, just a fever from your herpes."


Crock 3/23/09

This would never work logically for about 10 different reasons, but the top one I can think of is that since Crock is the spawn of Satan, he really has no mother.


Nest Heads 3/18/09

YOU'RE A FUCKING BIRD!


The Sunshine Club 3/18/09

Not depressed enough that this guy is going to his wife's grave to talk with her? He's also hallucinating smoke rising from other graves. SUNSHINE!

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The 300: Bla Bla Bla Bla, Then Some Comics

Oh, hey there! Fancy meeting you here. This is the 300th post for the DCR, and I just wanted to say thank you for following us. There will be a much more elaborate post next month when we hit the one year anniversary, but I want to take this opportunity to announce some exciting new changes to our website.

The biggest new addition you will see starting in our second year is the first (to our knowledge) comics review podcast! We will start releasing the podcast right around our anniversary, hopefully with updates on a weekly or bi-weekly basis from then on. We still need a good name for the program, and we are always looking for new people to interview. Associated with the podcast though are the first actual costs for our website beyond buying the basic domain rights and this is where I am reaching out to our readers. Just today I added a PayPal donation button to the left sidebar and we will be pestering you like a Public Radio host for the next few weeks to raise funds for this new venture. ANY AMOUNT IS APPRECIATED! All funds raised during this drive (and I guess any time in the future too) will go directly towards website operating expenses and upgrades.

The ultimate goal here is to become self-sufficient from ad revenue. With the recent change from our old ad service to Project Wonderful, we are growing closer to that reality every day. If you are a publisher, I cannot recommend their service any more highly. We have lots of buttons on our website that are still free and we would love for you to advertise with us! Thank you so very much again for reading this crazy little comic blog, here finally are the comics - the actual reason you have come here today.


The Grizzwells 3/27/09

I can usually ignore the overt sexual connotations associated with the words "stimulus package" in my everyday goin-ons, but when you put stimulus package and ding dong in the same sentence, the taint is too overpowering to the senses. If this latest "package" doesn't get the economy going, maybe they should throw out all inuendo and just call it the "Big Floppy Donkey Dick", or BFDD for short.


Pearls Before Swine 3/27/09

99% of the time, no one can argue with Rat's logic, but in this situation I have a major bone to pick. People use "How are you doing?" as "Hello" all day/every day, even though they don't really give a shit how you're doing. If you ever say anything besides "good" in reply, people have no idea how to react. So I just say "good" and then refuse to ask them how they are doing back. HAYD is not a greeting people. Don't use it in passing, in a rush, or any time you're unable to really find out the mental state of the person you're asking. Woa, pet-peeve of the century there.

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Fall Down, Go Boom

Ben 3/25/09

I have a dark secret that, until this day, I have never admitted to a single soul. I find little kids falling down to be extremely hilarious. I think it all stems from my childhood.

We would all go camping out in the middle of nowhere, and one of our family friends was 3 or 4 years old and was learning to ride a bicycle, which we nicknamed "monkey-bike". It had the smallest little frame and two gigantic rubber wheels. Our friend was pretty amazing at riding the bike, negotiating trees and stumps with ease, but he was and has always been a daredevil. There was one particularly large root in the road, and God bless him for not taking the easy route on the other 75% of the road that was root free, he would try to ride over this thing every time he passed by. Most of the time his over-inflated front tire would launch up in to the air, followed by his back tire kicking the bike up and leading toward an off-balanced, front tire landing, difficult for even a trained professional. We would watch him do this for HOURS. Crashing, crying, getting yelled at by his parents to stop doing it, composing himself and getting back on the bike all over again.

Anyways, this strip almost, ALMOST was funny, until the kid didn't get hurt.

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The Comics Hug and Love-Fest?

I'd like to wish a happy 36th birthday to Chris Baldwin, creator of the web comic Little Dee! I started reading this strip when it was on comics.com during his development deal with them but now it can only be found on his website. I've never critiqued the strip here because it is so regularly good, with a somewhat continuous storyline and memorable characters. Keep up the good work Chris, I love reading it every day. And sorry for all the butt-kissing in today's post, I guess I'm just feeling generous?

The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee 2/25/09

Look, I understand people are pissed about this whole bank bail-out situation but here is the thing: it makes for shitty comedy. Almost every comic strip has made light of what has happened with the TARP funds but like everything else have to do with banks it is god damn boring. Also the whole clipboard/little kid talking politics is way too similar to Calvin and Hobbes. Edison is a scientist, that is his shtick. There is more than enough politics on the comics page to begin with.


Eek! 2/25/09

Ugh might be a better strip name. If you want some serious vampire humor you should check out www.vampirenerd.com.


The Better Half 2/25/09

Apparently you can use the phrase "lubricates your insides" on the funny pages, it just depends on the context. You learn something new every day.


Barkeater Lake 2/25/09

Corey Pandolph is the hardest working cartoonist in the business. He has 3 comic strips, all of which I enjoy. He does Barkeater Lake, Toby - Robot Satan, and The Elderberries. The fantastic thing about each of his works is that they maintain their own bizarre realities better than most tv series. While some might think him some sort of super-human for being able to maintain 3 different strips at the same time, he was actually born with a fully functional third arm, allowing previously unheard of comic creating abilities, and making him a freak in the sack.

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The Racist Comics Review

Not a racist review here, but a review of racist comics. You'll get it once you see this travesty. Also another sign of the apocalypse has risen, the DCR is now on Twitter. The link is in the top corner of the page. Or here!

Marmaduke 2/4/09

Marmaduke is a well known anti-Semite. That's the only explanation for this panel that makes any sense. Come on guys, lets move past the bigotry of the past in to the post-racial America.


Pickles 2/4/09

The only reason Opal has such a problem with these socks is because one is white and the other is black. Come on old lady, Loving v. Virginia was way back in 1967. Get with the times!


Reality Check 2/4/09

Just a few problems with this ironically named strip. 1:Darren is a boys name. 2:Male cows do not produce milk, they have no udders. Even though they are cows, this strip is still about masturbation no matter how hard you try to spin it.


Wee Pals 2/4/09

"But Miki it's OK, they're not Americans!"

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