Thursday Edition: Fashion Follies of the Funnies

Hello all. If you aren't aware of any new goings on at the Daily Comics Review then let me be the first to tell you that I am the new Comics Fashion critic for this lovely blog. Not only will I be complaining about the god awful clothes that the comic characters will be wearing but I will often be commenting on their unspoken sexual proclivities, particularly of the ghey nature. Fashion and Homosexuality, two tastes that taste great together.

My nom de plume is Stella Tamzarian, Action Librarian because I like when things rhyme, it makes life more festive. I am an actual librarian from the Detroit area, and no I will not buy you crack. I am a member of the Queer Community, thus insuring my Comics Gay-dar is always finely honed for your pleasure. I like beards and ice cream, but not at the same time.

I apologize for the lateness of this post but I am recovering from my trip over to DC for the Obama Inauguration. It was a long, cold day to be celebrating America and when I woke up this morning I felt as though Liberty beat my ass with a tire iron. I hurt in places that didn't make sense. Anyway lets get to the fashion follies of the funnies...

Yenny: 1/21/2009

This is one that Bryce pointed me toward, and with just reason. From what I understand Yenny is about Puerto-Rican Supermodels who run around with the least amount of clothes that the Newspapers will allow. Everything is draped over horribly exaggerated body parts. In this case, the man-whore Yomar is being forced to wear a tiny suit jacket designed for Organ Grinder monkeys. I may not be an expert on abs, fitness or tiny monkey clothes but are abs supposed to be concave? The only thing that outfit is accentuating are Yomar's child bearing hips and his deep self-hatred. He'll be a model yet!


F Minus: 01/18/2009

And this horrific spectacle comes from the other side of the spectrum, the fat baby fetish side. I wasn't sure what creeped me out more about this panel, the potato-like torso struggling out of the tiny shirt and diaper or the seemingly dismembered arms hanging out of the sleeves. I'm not exactly sure what is going on in this comic but I think that the husband is competing for attention from his wife the only way his inadequate brain can manage, by dressing like a baby. For your information folks at home, there is a legitimate fetish out there where adults dress as babies for sexual kicks, you may have seen it in all of its glory on an episode of CSI. I can't tell by the look on the wife's face if she's a Diaper Lover or not, the raised eyebrows are as ambiguous as they are raised but the angry baby eyebrows are priceless.

Wizard of Id: 01/17/2009
The Furry level? Can you yiff down a mountain?

Zits: 01/21/2009

Even though in the Zits universe everyone is constantly using the latest in modern, old-people frustrating technology the fashion is still very much based in that horrible period of the 90's when Blossom was a popular television series. Vest, large ugly hat, huge hooker earrings and lots of lipstick were trademarks of the Reality Bites soaked youth of the 90's and its still terrible. I haven't seen a teenager wear a flannel shirt since Kurt Cobain died, unless you count Baby Dykes but even they dress like hipsters now a days. Either the writer of Zits is an old man who has no idea how kids today dress or he has stock in the Clarissa Explains it All inspired clothing line and is trying to drum up interest. Either way its sad.


Curtis: 01/17/2009
OK, this is pretty normal for the Comics page but this just bugs me to no end. Why the hell is Curtis's hat so damn huge? And when have you ever seen somebody wearing a hat that looked like that? The laws of physics are being willfully ignored by this monstrosity of a hat and apparently he wears it to bed too! Normally I dig Curtis's style, everlasting as it is. He's got a sharp sweater and collared shirt thing going on complete with pristine white sneakers. Kanye West would be so proud if he existed on the same level of reality as the rest of humanity. But that fucking hat is obscene, thus provoking this theory about Curtis, the hat is covering a large growth that juts from the side of his head.