The DCR: Manic Monday - 08/05/2013

by Hal Bent

I feel like I should have a little Steve Miller Band playing here as time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future.  Unbelievable as it may be, it's Monday already and as usual I'm behind the 8-ball. That said, why should this Monday be any less manic than any other Monday? A little thrown by not having my regular 9 Chickweed Lane to beat up on comment about today since it was incredibly dull and pointless. That's ok. My hatred of all things Ziggy still runs strong!

Adam@Home by Brian Basset:

Adam has realized that this is a "Logan's Run" society, and this birthday is it for ol' potato nose!  Look at that expression in the last panel, he knows what's coming for him. The end is nigh.

Of course, I'm most interested in Clayton's shirt. (The kid's name is Clayton, right? They don't ever refer to him as Clay...which is what most people do around their family. I'd look it up, but I can't bear to have anything Adam-related show up in my Google search history or I'd die of embarrassment. I always want to call him Gene for some reason.)  At first I assumed it was Green Lantern, but Brian Bassett apparently had second thoughts on giving DC some free advertising.  So now we have either a green doughnut, or Adam dresses his kid in a target. Does he think sacrificing Clayton will allow him to survive past this birthday? 


Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson:

Ah, yes, a comic worthy of entertaining and affirming the wordsmiths.  Baloney improves everything, is vital.  Kudos to Arlo. 

BTW, Arlo really isn't a terribly popular name any longer, is it? I don't know anyone named Arlo in the real world, and--in fact--other than this comic strip, I'm hard pressed to name an Arlo other than Arlo Guthrie. Comic strip Arlo was a wild and crazy guy when the strip debuted way way way back when, and I can see the Guthrie homage, but today he is a 40/50 something empty-nester working in accounting or something and talking to his cat.  


Born Loser, The by Chip Sansom:

I am saving this strip to give it to my kids as a life lesson. The Born Loser could have set up his coffee the night before and set the timer on the coffeemaker so as it'd be ready when he awakes like I do, and have a stash of high-fiber bars for quick, healthy-ish food substance (I'm not a big morning eater).  But no, he's lazy. Sloth is one of his many downfalls. 

This is not "born" loser; this "learned behavior" loser. 


Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt:

If only it were "Ziggy" and not "Dilbert" referenced, I'd have loved it even more. The green eyes are freaking me out nicely, however. 


Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II:

It'd be nice if it were a coyote come to rip the Zigster to shreds and end his misery. A wolf would be less likely but sufficient as well.  I'd settle for a pissed-off raccoon if it meant pain and suffering for Ziggy...

*
OK, all, let's survive this Monday together! Have a great one, thanks as always for coming back! 

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Child Abuse and Sodomy Are Now Funny

Sorry I missed last week. I completely forgot about it then by the time I remembered I was like "what's the point?" but here are some strips for today. And you will get some strips tomorrow as well. Also, check out my site.

Adam @ Home

Ha! It's funny because Adam's about to have a gloved finger shoved up his butt.

Heathcliff

Is it just me or does anyone else think Heathcliff is getting really gross?

Fort Knox

Ha! It's funny because she's going to backhand her son.

The Doozies

Usually The Doozies are good for a chuckle. Good. Not great. But this one...this one is stretching it.

Frog Applause

You get to "cut and paste" and "photoshop" "comic" strips for living Person Who Does Frog Applause. You don't get to complain about your job.

Love Is...

So is she going to use his intestines as the spaghetti and his...well, you know...as the meatballs? "Love is...Cannibalism."

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The Madness is Over

March is over, and with it goes March Meekrat Madness, for once. Which means I'm less busy and now able to review things on here again, which I'm sure you're just thrilled about. Anyway, go check out the Meekrat Entertainment Group because last month showed me how angry I am with the lack of interest in my work. Here's comics:

Crankshaft

I thought Crankshaft lived in a room above the garage, like Fonzie? Also, are these two lesbians? I've been wondering that since this whole little storyline started.

Cul de Sac

I like how peg-like that kid is. Also, I'm thinking these two would just love an Asian market. Not only do they have fish with eyes, but chickens and squids with eyes as well! It would overwhelm them.

Frog Applause

I usually hate this strip, but this one made me chuckle.

La Cucaracha

I put this here because I was going to go on a long ramble about Godzilla movies but I figured that no one really came here to read me show off useless knowledge. So yeah, actually uploading this and all that proved to be useless. I do like how they call them films, though.

The Phantom

Way back when, this storyline started and I was still covering this, Mandrake the Magician, and Spider-Man on my own blog. I knew then that by the time this resolution came about, I'd be just so sick of doing daily comic commentary. Still, I'm glad I'm here so I can at least comment on the Phantom finally going after the stupid Python. He's a jerk.

Well, that's it for today. Remember to visit the sites of all of our contributors, and we have Twitters and Facebooks and all that good stuff you can follow and like and all that rigmarole.

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Hopes Dashed and Confusion Reigns

I'd like to start out today by celebrating the end of Frog Applause, which has long been a thorn in the sides of various DCReviewers!

...wait, that's just a joke? Curse you, Frog Applause, for offering hope and so cruelly yanking it away! Anyway, here's some more stuff.

Spider-Man

I think it might be one of the lesser (though still fantastic) Kirby monsters, and not ol' Fin Fang Foom. It's a green hand, though, so there's still a little bit of hope. I like the look on the minister's face. He's loving this so much and why shouldn't he? He's at a bizarre wedding where both Spider-Man (even though it's the lackluster comic strip version) and the Thing are in attendance. I wouldn't be surprised if he started promoting himself as a minister for officiating super-hero weddings.

Let's wrap up today with two strips that puzzled me:
2 Cows and a Chicken

The first three panels are self-explanatory, and even if you haven't been following the strip everyday, you can figure out why each is important. The last panel just mystifies me, though. Is that back at their farm? I still don't understand what's happening.

Reynolds Unwrapped

I have no theories about this one. It's just confusing.

That's it for this Friday. Check out the Meekrat Entertainment Group today, and especially tomorrow, when we celebrate the third annual Otter Pun Day. It OTTER be a good time.

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Of Deer and Moose

Wednesday has come to pass once again. Apparently some pizza company gave Bryce some coupons and Bryce has suggested that we mention their pizza in our posts to see if we can get some more free stuff. Only I never bothered to learn what the thing is called so I can't really mention them. I'm sure their pizza is terrific though.

Adam@Home 3/10/10

They don't make Donkey Kong games like that anymore. Now he's either racing a gokart, fighting other gaming mascots, or banging on a bongo.

Also, that's not how 3-D works. You wouldn't be able to fight the 3-D DK because he wouldn't be tangible.

Also also, I really want to write 3-DK. There. It's done. Now we can resume the normal post.



Chuckle Bros 3/10/10

This is cute on paper but that's it. This joke can never work in spoken form because 'you' and 'ewe' are pronounced the same so the person hearing the joke would not understand the punchline. It kind of ruins the joke for me because I know that none of those people in the audience are getting the joke they way we are and I feel sad for them. Stupid empathy.

The Boiling Point 3/10/10

Um, yeah, they do.

Frog Applause 3/10/10

I know of one sure way to destroy a person's will to live: make them look at Frog Applause all day. I don't know what it is exactly, but it fills me with a despair that knows no bounds. I think it's the combination of crappy/weird art and the consistent lack of humor. Hell, I'd even accept some humour at this point.

Pickles 3/10/10

Pickles, however, made my day. It was a smart little joke that was unexpected and thats about all you can ask for from a comic strip. It was so good that I almost smirked, which is high praise for something that isn't about sex and has no curse words in it.

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Gasoline Alley Shows Its Age

Gasoline Alley 2/14/10

Gasoline Alley has been around since 1918 and the characters more or less age properly. So following that and assuming Walt was 18 during World War I, Walt is an amazing 110 or 111 years old. I know this is a comic strip but I do think it's time for Walt to die.

Broom Hilda 2/14/10

It's good to know that Broom Hilda is okay with committing attempted rape just to get a kiss on Valentine's Day.

Throwaway panels for Dick Tracy 2/14/10

As opposed to purchasing the tickets from that guy in the alley with stuff moving in his hair.

Frog Applause 2/14/10

I won't if you won't Frog Applause.

Family Circus 2/14/10

Papa Keane, has forgotten it's Valentine's Day and has run off in order to get a present for his mistress because when you are having an affair, it's better to keep your mistress happy because she was go to your wife quicker than a bobcat with a burr under his tail.

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Fancy Ransom

Have you had your socks rocked off by Carafe yet? If you haven't, go there. If you have, still go there. Especially today, as another one of my comics is up.

Frog Applause, 01/28/10

Someday, I hope I can get paid for just slapping a bunch of nonsense into a panel. You know what would be funny, though? If someone used Frog Applause to send out ransom notes. It'd fit the "style" of the strip, and it'd probably be funnier than whatever we've got today.

Funky Winkerbean, 01/28/10

Lots of sidekicks were orphans, too. All three male Robins eventually turned into orphans. Yeah... that's all I really had to say. Oh, and "Little Orphan Annie" totally doesn't count in this regard.

Basic Instructions, 01/28/10

I just found this funny, especially the second and forth panels. They're all good, but especially those.

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65 Years and Counting....

Betty White, star of such classic TV shows as Mary Tyler Moore, Golden Girls and many, many other was honored at the Screen Actor Guild Awards with the Lifetime Achievement Award which commemorated not only her 88th birthday but also her 65th year of acting. I am a huge fan of Ms. White and wish her all the best. Here's to 65 more years! Wait, something's wrong with that sentence...

Garfield 1/24/10

Yes, Garfield. Murder Jon. There shall be no more snow this winter. Anywhere!!

One Big Happy 1/24/10

"Go get a cab!" Classic episode of I Love Lucy right there. Sadly, this episode will now forever be sullied because it was used in this strip.

Joe has massive delusions of grandeur.

Frog Applause 1/24/10

If there is a God and if God is a man then this would be God's glory hole.

Annie 1/24/10

I love the art in Annie but the lack of pupils (which I know is the art style of this strip) is a bit distracting. But you know if they started adding pupils to the characters people would be outraged.

Broom Hilda 1/24/10

*Sigh* Not a joke anywhere in this strip. I was the Maple Leaf Festival a few years ago (every third weekend in October in beautiful Baldwin City, Kansas) and this woman behind us said "a ladybug landed on me" and the guy next to her said "better get it off, they'll bite you". Ladybugs? Bite? Whatever crazy old man.

FoxTrot 1/24/10

If I were Paige or if Morton were gay, I would not be able to answer this question because I suck at math. I mean, I really suck at math.

Ginger Meggs 1/24/10

Because typically caffeine doesn't occupy possibly valuable time that you could be using for more important things than trying to defeat New Super Mario Bros. Wii with Blue Toad.

Family Circus 1/24/10

Or it can also be apparent that:
1)you're a whore and will sleep with anything;
2)you are a 40-year-old man-child;
and 3)you don't bathe.

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Shoddy Comics Commentary

Just a heads-up, today's going to suck pretty badly. Now that you're warned, on with things:

Close to Home, 12/3/09

I spent about five minutes trying to find the joke, and once I found it, I found it deeply disturbing. In case you can't find it, look at the expectant mother. Man, it looks like two xenomorphs are gonna bust out of her or something.

Frog Applause, 12/3/09

This is the funniest Ziggy comic I've ever seen.

Pibgorn, 12/3/09

I really don't like this comic strip. I'm fine with 9 Chickweed Lane, because it manages to balance its pretentiousness with stabs at humor. Pibgorn is just pretentious, and once upon a time I'd make the argument that at least its pictures were somewhat pretty, but it doesn't even have that anymore. And the last storyline had some sort of demon-fighting thing going on, and it takes a lot to make me dislike a comic strip about fighting demons.

The Quigmans, 12/3/09

As someone who has played ever main series Pokemon game since the brand's conception, I know that this isn't how it works at all. However, I find the imagery of a trailer park filled with angry out-of-work Pokemon hilarious. I'm also wondering why they did a comic about something whose star faded years ago, but I actually don't care that much about it.

Imagine This, 12/3/09

I like cameo strips like this, especially when I only recognize a few of the characters. In this case, it's Lio, TOBY, (both from eponymous comic strips) and Skull from PvP who looks bewildered to be there. The viking guy looks familiar but I can't place him at all.

Okay, trying to find the strip the viking guy is from, the fox thing is Pinkerton (I think), and I have no idea who the other ones are, and I can't find the viking guy's comic which is a shame because I actually sort of liked it. It was some sort of "Lord of the Rings" style thing, and now it's going to bother me all day until I find it and...

and...

It's "Legend of Bill". They'll only let me look at the past two days' worth of strips, but that's the comic strip I think the viking guy is from. I'm probably wrong.

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Over-Analyzation

Today, I over-analyze things and I'm probably not very humorous at all. At least there's a bunch of words for you to read, eh? Yeah. Maybe someday I'll learn humor. For now, read on:

La Cucaracha, 11/19/09

TACO CART GUY'S TACOS ARE MADE FROM PEOPLE!

Crock, 11/19/09

Moskos should just kill Crock. Doing it with the machine gun would have been quick and easy, but I'm betting that doing him in with the shovel would be far more satisfying and fun. Also, he could bury the body when he was done! Very convenient.

Wit of the World, 11/19/09

Here's some stuff from Italy and Israel. I want to bring your attention to the second one, with the man who inexplicably has a hole in his head that shoots light out of it. Also, he's crossing his legs in a very dainty, almost lady-like, manner. We should all fear this man, especially since the hole in that helmet should, in no way, line up with the one on his head. Ah, and he may be on the moon, which may explain everything.

Frog Applause, 11/19/09

Wouldn't the top part of a Pop Tart just be the frosting and, perhaps, some of its innards? Whatever that... girl, I guess, is doing, she's not eating just the top part. She's eating the whole thing, which is the equivalent of a man drinking a can of "Sprite" and saying how much he likes drinking "Pepsi".

Sherman's Lagoon, 11/19/09

I only put this up because the concept of a Yeti Crab fascinates me, especially since he seems to be living in sin with the Loch Ness Monster. However, once I did a tiny bit of research, I found out that the Yeti Crab isn't mythical at all. Just sort of new. Also, it's frequently called the "furry lobster" which just sounds wrong.

Arctic Circle, 11/19/09

I have no idea why Oscar looks so down in the last panel. Is it because there were no hits? Is it because people were saying nasty things about him? I decided to do a Google search. The first page primarily features Oscar Wilde, then it just devolves into nonsense after that. The images are just a bunch 0f random pictures, including one of the comic strip character. So I have no idea what he's so down about, unless he really dislikes Oscar Wilde for some reason.

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