Monday Odds and Ends.....

Matt here. Nothing like a Monday morning at O'Hare Airport to make one appreciate.... ummm ..... not sure what one appreciates at O'Hare Airport. Anyways, on to the funnies:

Baby Blues

Darryl, c'mon. You can do better than that. Unless "Shoulder Massage" is a euphemism for something else in the Baby Blues household.

Curtis

Despite the pains that Ray Billingsley took to make this accurate, it still fails on the "Google it" challenge. Basically, the ice hotel itself is called the Sorrisniva Igloo Hotel. There is no town called Sorrisniva, Norway. The hotel is in Alta, Norway. Anyways, I had more fun reading about Alta and the hotel than I did reading this comic strip.

Hi and Lois

I do like the coloring of daily comics, but for heaven's sake why is the floor black? Or does this mean that Hi and Lois are demons cast out of Hades and perform ceremonies while their kids are asleep? That would explain the passive/aggressive look on the baby's face.

Beetle Bailey

Sigh. Beetle Bailey has been really, really awful the past few months and this is no exception. First, jumping first has no bearing on opening a parachute first. One can jump first but still not open a parachute first. Second, I always disliked forced answers to questions. Sarge asked, are you ready to jump. He should have asked, who wants to jump first and it makes Beetle's answer better. Third, oh hell. There is no third other than I hate this strip.

Dennis the Menace

Before even reading the text of this comic, I knew that something was going on. I'd love to see what Alice's (is that the mom's name) expression is as it can't be good. And who is this person? Is she a babysitter? A friend? Someone they found on Craigslist for a three-way?

Funky Winkerbean

I hate lazy cartooning. Look at these three panels carefully. Let's use coach as the focal point and take his stance of facing forward. The reporter in panel 1 is to the left of coach and in front. In panel 2, he is to the left of coach and in front. In panel 3, he is to the right of coach and a bit behind him. What did he do? Some kind of quick jog around coach to get a different shot. ARRRGGGHHHH......make it stop! Oh, and the "joke" is horrible also.

Sally Forth

I work in HR and people don't just bring HR in and say "cut 40 people from our staff". That is a strategic decision and usually involves all lines of business and they debate and come up with an answer and THEN tell HR who they want to cut. But I guess that's too sophisticated for this new storyline.

That's all for now. Please comment if you enjoy any part of this. We feed off of any kind of discussion and always good to know if anyone is reading. Thanks!

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That Crook'd 'Sipp

It's Sunday again so let's get to it.

Curtis

I find it odd that Curtis' dad read "Metal Men" comics but I applaud Ray Billingsley using kind of obscure comic book characters.

Ink Pen

Oreos don't come in sleeves. Where do Oreos come in sleeves?

Between Friends

$5 for a candy bar that is thicker but not quite as big as a King Size bar I could get for $1 at my local grocery store. People asking for money has been cut down a lot since putting up two 'No Soliciting' signs.

Funky Winkerbean

Damn it, Batiuk.

Panels from Dick Tracy

Oh, Dick Tracy. Retail clerks don't read this strip.

Wee Pals

Damn it, Morrie.

Tiger

What?

Blondie

Sounds like the Heminhaws are made up. If the Woodleys didn't want to go camping with the Bumsteads (and who would?) then they should've just said so instead of creating a fictional family, purchasing a house under the fake family name and creating a backstory for the fake family.

Panels from Barney Google

So the people of Hootin' Holler apparently believe that the wind comes from the clouds. This is good to know when the United States of America invades the New States of America for their precious oil aquifers.

The Born Loser

You can't win it if you aren't in it. I'm shocked Gladys is OK with Brutus wasting his money on lottery tickets and even kind of encourages him to buy more.

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Woo. Comic commentary.

Short one today, folks.

Hey, is Girls and Sports still being terrible?

Yes. Yes, it is. Today, it's terrible because guy whose name I refuse to remember considers the fact that a football player can't play just as bad, if not worse, than world poverty. I mean, yes, it stinks for that one football player that he won't be able to play, but I'm sure he'll be well taken care of in the meantime. On a different note, what's the with the Fruity O's looking like oatmeal?

Speaking of depressing things... Curtis

is about him accidentally killing a pondful of small animals. Why couldn't Gunk have told him the dangers sooner? More so, why wouldn't Curtis listen? Those things do seem like they'd be effective cleaning agents for ponds without advanced life.

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Better Late Than......

You all should check out my nearly worthless site which features Thursday Comics--a random selection of comic related stuff with history and possibly commentary. Let me know what you think, I have obscure comic strip characters, terrible comic books and the history of Felix Comics.

Now, I love just about everything superheroes. Superheroes are awesome. Superheroes are usually put on some of the most coolest things I have ever seen and the Joker is one of the best villains ever created. Creative, memorable and utterly psychotic but neither of those words describe what the hell this is:

Well, maybe psychotic does.

Zits 8/1/10

RANT I hate when I am behind someone at Taco Bell or McDonald's and they don't know what they want. It's Taco Bell. It's McDonald's. Their menu constantly remains the same. McDonald's has burgers, Taco Bell has faux-Mexican food. Movie theaters have basically the same thing: assortment of the same candies, popcorn and an Icee-type treat. QUIT HOLDING UP THE LINE!!!!! RANT OVER

My Cage 8/1/10

I remember reading somewhere that we were going to learn what happened to the humans in the comic strip My Cage and I guess this is it. Based on what I looked up based on the horn and hoof flag, a group of farm animals ran off a Mr. Jones and took over his farm and the pig started a revolution not unlike the Soviet Union.

Curtis 8/1/10

"No, son. You cannot ride your skateboard to pick up our pizza."

How hard would that have been. Have it delivered or go it yourself. Also, only one pizza for four people? That doesn't seem like much.

Crankshaft 8/1/10

Ha! Even God isn't safe from the wrath of Crankshaft.

Born Loser 8/1/10

In Wilberforce's defense, he more than likely did not pee on his hands.

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Ouija boards, strange medical tests, and those annoying horn things

Greetings.  I'm new around these parts.  My name's Ben Carlsen, AKA Arkholt, AKA the guy who also does the comic strip blog The Daily Panel as well as the new web comic The Bird Feeder, bringing you some comic blurbs, in no particular order.


Ollie and Quentin:

This one's just sad, for two reasons: first, the worm got smashed by the seat flipping up, and second, the bird actually has no way of following the rules.  His legs are not long enough for his feet to not be on the seat.  How these animals got into the theater in the first place is beyond me as well.

My Cage:

Wait a second here.  Why is this guy's heart inside his head?  Shouldn't it be in his chest?  Then again, perhaps his head IS in his chest, so his heart can be inside it and still be in the right place.  Wow, this guy's anatomy sure is messed up.

Curtis:

AAAA!!  Curtis' dad will know whatever he does, because he speaks with the dead!  You have much to fear, young Curtis!  Your father is a necromancer!

Heathcliff:

Wow.  I didn't know doctors had a test to determine that.  I'll have to make an appointment tomorrow to find out what I am.  With my luck, though, it's just something that vets are able to do, with their specialized animal tools.  No way my health insurance covers that.

Pickles:

I post this one only because I can also see it as a Pluggers strip.  "Google for Pluggers: ask your wife."

Crock:

This type of thing was funny back in 1920, but not anymore.  Strips had better art back then, too, so it made up for the fact that it was never actually funny to begin with.  I mean, seriously, can't you come up with a funnier way for them to make a bridge?  Have three of the guys span the gap and hold on to each others' feet at least.  That's about as old as this joke, but it doesn't look as desperate.

Working Daze:

Almost as annoying as the actual vuvuzelas themselves are all the annoying comic strips about them that I keep seeing.  Is their goal to make sure that the annoyance of the vuvuzela reaches even the people who haven't been watching the World Cup, such as myself?  If so, it has worked.  You can stop now.

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Brutus Turns 45 and Two Comics' Editors Have Seemingly Given Up

We have got some amazing news that you may or may not have heard yet. MikeP mentioned earlier this week that Annie is coming to an end after 86 years. Now if only we could get rid of The Katzenjammer Kids. Also, the comic strip I have been neglecting lately on my own site has turned 45. The Born Loser is now 45 (how it got that old I have no idea) but I am proud of it because it has provided the bulk of Watch This Space for the last three years. You can view the official press release from United Media here. Also, join the Official Born Loser Facebook Fan Page if you dare.

The Born Loser 5/15/10 and 5/16/10

So we're supposed to assume that Brutus is indeed 45-years-old. I guess that makes sense. I guess the Brutus that was around from 1965 until 1989 was from Earth-2 and today's Brutus is from Earth-Prime.

In Wilberforce's defense, the coach said nothing about having to take the donut off.

Curtis and Dennis the Menace 5/16/10


Two strips with old people complaining about technology and how it's made everyone fat and lazy. Also, how menacing of Dennis to help a senior citizen learn to use a computer. Next thing you know Dennis will be helping set up Mr. Wilson's Facebook account and getting in touch with the class of 1947.

Also, how come Curtis says he's going to drop in on Gunther's Barbershop when it's clear he's there for a haircut?

Blondie 5/16/10

Yeah, Dagwood may be fired today but I'm pretty we will see him at work with J.C. Dithers some time in the next week. Continuity in the comic strips is teh s uck.

Girls & Sports 5/16/10

Hmm, I don't know what part of that yellow shirt screams blue but Bradley is a terrible friend no matter how many times he helps Marshall get laid.

Fort Knox 5/16/10

Last time I checked, it was called the Presidential Physical Fitness Test, not the Presidential Phyisical Fitness Test.

Sweet Lord, these things have editors still, right?

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I Hate These Comic Strips

I love comic strips. I've done book reports in school about comic strips and its beginnings. I like just about every comic strip and there are a few that I love (none are currently being produced, BTW). There are several comic strips that I hate. Hate is different than not liking. There are strips I don't like (Herb & Jamaal, 9 Chickweed Lane and Cathy) but there are strips I genuinely hate. And here they are:

Drabble 4/18/10

Drabble is like Paul Blart only less cute, adorable and funny. Drabble is the story of a slightly older than middle aged man working as a mall cop while also trying to continue to raise his adult son Patrick. Drabble is a mess of bad puns, stupid jokes and basically aiming for the lowest common denominator.

Curtis 4/18/10

This strip actually demonstrates one reason why I hate Curtis. Curtis' dad smokes only because of stress. Curtis has routinely expressed his disgust with his dad's smoking but Curtis' dad doesn't change. Granted, Curtis doesn't go the normal route by showing his dad how slowly he is killing his own family whenever he's "stressed" out but his dad could at least try.

The Dinette Set 4/18/10

The main hatred I have for The Dinette Set is there is always too much going on. I've often said that the stupid words and stuff strewn around the panels (like the "M.I.T.: Moron In Training" in today's strip) is to distract from the fact that the comic itself isn't funny.

Mutts 4/18/10

I used to like the comic strip Mutts. Then something happened. It got preachy. The strips starting telling me to protect our animal friends and to go to a shelter and adopt a dog or cat. I don't need a mediocre comic strip telling me to go do stuff and I'm sure everyone under the age of 70 agrees with me.

Shoe 4/18/10

Do we even see P. Martin Shoemaker more than once a month anymore? Since Jeff MacNelly passed away in 2000, Shoe has just been languishing on the vine just waiting to die. Amazingly, I noticed a few months ago that Susan MacNelly (possibly Jeff's daughter or granddaughter) has begun helping out on the strip and that the strip is possibly becoming funnier. Hopefully, there will come a time that I can remove this strip from this list.

Wee Pals 4/18/10

I'm sorry but kids making cutesy racist comments is just wrong. Every time I read Wee Pals, I die a little on the inside. But I can't stop looking at it because it's like a train at a railroad crossing for me. And I can't stop looking at those trains.

Zippy 4/18/10

I read somewhere that Zippy has never been funny. There are no jokes in Zippy and that the good artwork and intricate detail is to cover up that fact. The strip looks really good therefore you laugh at it because you don't want to look stupid. Well, Zippy is an abomination of comic strips. To me, it is the worst. A monkey could smear shit on a piece of urine green paper and I will still find that more culturally relevant and funnier than Zippy.

Ginger Meggs 4/18/10

I don't know why I hate Ginger Meggs. Maybe it's because he's got red hair, maybe it's because he's Australian maybe it's because Ginger is everything I hate in a comic strip about a kid. He's just plain annoying. It also makes me cringe to think that this strip has been around since 1921!

Fred Basset 4/18/10

I don't hate Fred Basset because it's British. I hate it because it's just not good and doesn't have a point to it. I looked up Fred Basset on Wikipedia and the article is written in a very British format. Also, there's a section that basically dissects the strip saying that a lot of the strips do not have jokes, an ending or even a purpose!! Yeah, that's my idea of a good comic strip, one without a purpose.

Frazz 4/18/10

I used to like Frazz, then it became too smart for its own good. It began making fun of people and pointing out flaws in the American language. And the kids? Smart-asses. 9 times out of 10 I want to backhand these little turds.

Housebroken 4/18/10

I don't know what's going on in this strip but I'm pretty sure you have to be high to understand it. I read Housebroken every week but it has yet to make me chuckle or even acknowledge it as being worthy of being on a newspaper page. I want to say it's trying to be like Bloom County but that's an insult to Bloom County.

Dennis the Menace 4/18/10

This comic showcases what is currently wrong with Dennis the Menace these days. Where's the menacing? I have a book which features the first two years of DTM's existence and he was a lot more menacing back in the 1950s. For example, in one comic he ties a swan's neck in a knot; in another he ruins a hot dog vendor's business by stealing his cart's umbrella; and he shuts his friend in a refrigerator just to prove that the light goes out when you shut the door. I want this Dennis back and I don't care if it gives children bad ideas. I just want to see Dennis do more menacing stuff like beating a teenage babysitter leaving a permanent scar on her chin.

Like more comic-related garbage? Then you should head over to my site where every Thursday I talk about comics in book book and strip form. Plus there's that whole Born Loser thing I do.

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