Saturday Specials

by Hal Bent

Welcome to the weekend! Apparently, the theme of the day in the newspaper comics is to have guys sitting on the coach.  Well, that's original. Oh yeah, I threw in some Born Loser, because that strip just raises my dander. 


Thatababy by Paul Trap:

"This Old House" because referencing a television show that was popular when Ronald Reagan defeated Jimmy Carter in the presidential election is how one connects their comic strip about a couple with a newborn baby to their audience.  Oh, wait, the couples creating a family are in the age range where they weren't born yet when Reagan left office, let alone when Carter left office.


Reality Check by Dave Whamond:

Speed Bump by Dave Coverly:

Yup, it's all about spaced-out fathers/husbands in a daze on the couch watching television, the drug of a nation. No laptop, no iPad, no other device. Out of date? Check. OK, let's keep the couch theme going!


Betty by Gary Delainey and Gerry Rasmussen:

Gotta give props to Betty today: with that sentence construction in the second panel setting up the punchline in the third panel, I am excited to see next week's strips where the husband uses his phone to productively search craigslist and the personal sites for the white man he presumably is adding to his marriage.  I refer back to the first panel, as the husband's double-entendre is referencing what kink will be ongoing once he works out the kinks.  


Born Loser, The by Chip Sansom:

Umm, the answer is corn syrup.  Manufacturers load ketchup (and catsup) with high-fructose corn syrup (aka sugar) to sweeten it enough for the American public and their never-ending quest for the consumption of sweets.

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The Daily Comics Review: Saturday Specials

by Hal Bent

Saturday Specials is where I envision a bit of a potpourri of comics: whatever strikes my fancy as Saturday is well-renowned as the weakest day of newspaper comics, often recapping the week, highlighting an event on Friday, or just mailing it in prior to Sunday.  With that, time to get to the Saturday Specials:

Bliss by Harry Bliss:

I had to include one from the funny pages: I hope one of my regular readers can help me out here with this one. I spent ten minutes reading it and had no freaking  clue what the heck was going on here. Phish shirt, hippie guy and gal, and a dog...all  hitch-hiking...in Vermont. I don't get it.  I really don't get it. It's well drawn, great depiction of the Green Mountains of Vermont, but I feel like either it is, or I am, missing something here. 


Off the usual track, where this was an unusual week, and instead of posting on Monday or Friday, I was glued to the news (online and television) with the horror in Boston with the Marathon bombing and all-day manhunt. That said, some editorial cartoons from this past week seemed to be appropriate here:

EDITORIAL COMIC: Attack Runners by Pat Bagley: 

EDITORIAL COMIC: Boston Tragedy by Christopher Weyant:

EDITORIAL COMIC: Inspirational Marathon Runners by Steve Breen

EDITORIAL COMIC: Boston Bombing by Michael Ramirez:

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Saturday is Here Once Again

Welcome one and all to Saturday at the DCR. It's been what, 6 or 7 months since the last time we gathered together on the weekend? Well now we can be together every Saturday, at least as long as I remember.

But because I'm lazy, today will just follow one strip through the week. It's much easier to do that than search through all the crappy strips to find the ones that deserve to be here.



The Meaning of Lila 11/30/09

To get worse than cold and rainy in Cleveland, you don't even have to leave the country. Try Monday morning in 10-degree, blizzarding Minnesota. I'm not saying that it doesn't suck in Indonesia or Afghanistan, but you why would you want to seem like someone that cares about the world? That's just un-American. I fully expect Glen Beck to be on air crying about how much The Meaning of Lila hates America.

The Meaning of Lila 12/1/09

What?

This completely flies in the face of the female stereotype. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but almost all strips in The Meaning of Lila reinforce the female stereotype. So which is it Lila? Do you seek to destroy the stereotype or support it?


The Meaning of Lila 12/2/09

Having never watched Glee, I don't really know what to make of this one. Do they sing pointlessly in the show? I would really hate if my co-workers burst into song for no reason, but it would make me feel good to know that their minds are so weak that they can be influenced so easily by pop media. That show's only been on for a few months and people are already in its grasp. At least my mind is strong enough to only be influenced by things that have been around awhile. Clearly this isn't the strip I'm looking for.



The Meaning of Lila 12/3/09

Anyone who lets their mother run their life is doomed to never be happy. Especially when you are pregnant and engaged. While there once was great shame attached to having a child out of wedlock, in this day and age it is hardly an issue. Unless you are unreasonably religious there is nothing wrong with premarital sex. Everybody's doing it. Literally.

The Meaning of Lila 12/4/09

Hahaha, homosexuals that can't legally be married in almost all the states in the Union know everything about weddings. What an insight. Three days ago Lila was breaking stereotypes and now we're right back where we started. Couldn't it have been a better joke? If stereotypes are going to be used at least make them funny.

Funny, you know, the opposite of all this crap.

Hope you enjoyed the return of Saturday.

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Old People are Gross

You get another look at an entire week of one strip. The reviews are short and to the point because I am stretched for time.

This week of Pickles was about sounds that old people make. It was less than humorous.



Pickles 8/10/09

It couldn't possibly be that loud, could it?



Pickles 8/11/09

If dogs are responding to it, he has a serious problem.



Pickles 8/12/09

Yes, please die for a few minutes so I can sleep. Bitch.



Pickles 8/13/09

Who didn't see this coming? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? What a waste of a week and it's not even over yet.



Pickles 8/14/09

What, no sound effect? We got one for the nose whistle, why not the farting?

That dog looks truly terrified.



Pickles 8/15/09

They couldn't squeeze in another joke about the disgusting sounds old people make? What a shame, I hate puns even more than stereotypical jokes.

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Sunday is the new Saturday

Another Saturday has come and passed. Oops, I forgot to do a post. Oh well, that's what Sunday is for. This week I'm reviewing Luann and all the stupidity that entails. I don't know if this 'review a week of a comic on the weekend' thing will become the standard, but it will be around.

And there aren't any links this time, so don't complain.


Luann 8/3/09

What?



Luann 8/4/09

Yes. Other stuff. Like macrame and cloud watching. Perhaps even the occasional sewing convention. Sounds like a serious relationship to me.

Once you go macrame, you never go back.



Luann 8/5/09

The point of this strip? That women are shallow and will always screw a guy with six pack abs.



Luann 8/6/09

This guy is retarded. Libraries? You couldn't have said that you were doing a report on American restaurants? You can set a mood at a restaurant, but I don't think many girls are real turned on by thousands of books. "Oh yeah, do me behind nonfiction section B-D!" is something you will never hear.



Luann 8/7/09

Girls are stupid. And men are even more stupid. If this guy wants Luann, which is pretty questionable, then all he needs to do is say so. Hiding behind a lame 'report' is only confusing the poor thing. And if Luann really wants this guy then she should just go for it. It's not like he'd be offended. He'd just say that he needs to do his report and that he wants to remain friends with her and that would be the end of it for him.



Luann 8/8/09

This strip is a complete waste of time.

Although, I do want to know where I can purchase some Yumz brand cereal. It sounds good.

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Not Your Father's Saturday

Today is a little different than most other Saturdays. Instead of giving you the worst (or best) of the week, I'm going to go through the week that was in Crankshaft. Crankshaft is one of the comic strip characters that I truly admire. He is everything that I hope to one day be: mean, grumpy, despised by all that know him.

This week was particularly strange if you read the week before which rocketed us into the future to see an even older Crankshaft in the nursing home watching a little league baseball game. If that wasn't a dream sequence and is the actual future, then this week was kind of pointless. But you'll see for yourself in a second.

Let us begin.



Crankshaft 7/27/09

Apparently Crankshaft likes to pretend to garden in a patch of plastic plants that he spray paints green.

Also, a snake, a snake, oh it's a snake!



Crankshaft 7/28/09

'Yapadoodle'? That's the best you could come up with? It only yapped one time. Seems like Yipadoole would be a better fit.

Also, it would be way more awesome if it was a badger instead of a dog.


Also also, I like that the neighbor's house is starting to phase out of the Crankshaft dimension.



Crankshaft 7/29/09

Why does the dog listen to Crankshaft? He's not it's owner and, as far as I know, he was never involved in its training. Very odd.

Also, if he's aiming to keep it quiet, he should aim his garden hoe at the dog. Those kind of dogs never shut up.



Crankshaft 7/30/09

I don't know tons about snakes, but I'm pretty sure that, at this point, the snake would go after the dog rather than the human. It just makes sense that the snake would go for the easier target.



Crankshaft 7/31/09

Again, the snake is not going to attack Crankshaft because the dog is barking at it. It's going to go after the dog. Crankshaft has done nothing to anger the snake at this point, so not much of this makes sense.

Also, as I mentioned earlier, we just spent a week in the future watching really old Crankshaft get wheeled to a baseball game, so it's pretty obvious that he isn't in any real danger here. Unless that was some kind of drug-fueled hallucination that Crankshaft had.



Crankshaft 8/1/09

Like I said, I don't know tons about snakes, but I do know that rattlers strike ridiculously fast. That means that the dog had to have jumped before the snake went to attack.

Also, rattlers do not attack like that. In fact, I don't know of a snake that lunges its entire body at its prey.

Also also, Crankshaft is bent at a very odd angle. And his neck appears to now be jutting from his sternum. His torso has lost quite a bit of its length. I guess getting attacked by a snake is so scary that it deforms your body. Makes me glad that I live where there are no poisonous snakes.




Just so you know, I listened to Badgers the entire time I wrote this.

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Saturday is for Fun

Hey you. Want to read something funny? Well then feast your hungry eyes upon my glory and rejoice, for you are saved from internet boredom!


Gil Thorp 7/15/09

Really? Gil Thorp, a man that destroys all he touches, can't think of anyone that he's angered? I find that hard to believe. He must really be hitting it hard to forget all the people that he's hurt over the years. There must be hundreds of families that would love to see Gil in a pine box.



Cathy 7/15/09

Can I just say that Cathy really needs to cut down on the volume of words it uses. At the current rate of consumption, we will run out of words by the year 2021. Most of the waste can be attributed to horrible comic strips like Cathy and people who blog about ridiculous conspiracies. Considering we have no viable alternative to words, conservation is our only choice. Comic strip syndicates, here my plea: cancel Cathy now and help preserve our precious words.



Compu-Toon 7/17/09

Is this supposed to be funny or sad?

It makes me kind of horny.



Ginger Meggs 7/17/09

Um...yeah. Didn't NYPD Blue end years ago? Also, video games do not encourage violence. If they did, I would have killed thousands of people by now. Literally, thousands.

I do like the extra note. Point-and-click indeed.

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Saturday is for T&A

Well, comic strip T&A. Also, my views on super-powered women and polical pundits! Are you excited yet?



Prickly City 7/1/09

Keith Olberman is the leftist equivalent to Bill O'Reilly. I'm sorry if you didn't know that, but it's true. He does make more sense than Bill-O, as KO refers to him, but for the most part he spews the same garbage, just from a different view point.

If you want a newsman that really tells it like it is, you want Rush Limbaugh. He's my only source of reliable information in this age where the government has taken over all media.*



Yenny 7/1/09

There is no comic, that isn't actual porn, that brings more skin than Yenny. It seems the only real point the strip has is to show as much T&A as possible without actually showing any T&A. If there were more comics that had this much skin maybe the comic page would make a comeback.

(Get it? Comeback? Hehehehe)



Flight Deck 7/2/09

Why does the sperm have eyes and a mouth, but not the egg? Wouldn't it make sense to give them both human characteriztics instead of just the male part? Is this another case of sexism? Probably not since it's a lame joke about a movie that not many people remember outside of one scene.



Ink Pen 7/3/09

What's this? More sexism? Will it never end?

Wait. How did she destroy that old-timey computer? It goes from perfectly fine to smashed and we don't get to see how it gets that way? WTF? I bet that a super-fast guy came and obliterated it, as we all know that a female could never have destroyed it all by herself. Not even a super-powered one with the strength of ten men.

Wait. That makes no sense. Are my views toward sex and destruction out of line? Is my whole world view wrong?! NOOO!!


Tune in next week when something else exciting will happen.







*Not really, I hate that guy. Stephen Colbert is the only pundit that commands me.**



**Again, not really. I have no moral compass and have no reservations about cutting off your leg if it makes me smile.***



***Hmm. I guess that really does make me like Rush Limbaugh. Damn.

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Saturday Is Not For Children

Welcome to the Saturday edition of the DCR. There are some real good ones this week. We're back on track after last weeks snafu.

The Argyle Sweater 6/23/09

As an amoral prick, I agree wholeheartedly with the Anti-Praying Mantis. For too long has the interesting insect been portrayed as something that it may not be. Until we can effectively communicate with them to ask them their views on religion, I propose that we change the name of the praying mantis to the razor-armed mantis.



Frog Applause 6/24/09

Assuming that the bear can't talk, this means that the child's imagination told the child to do something that it doesn't understand. This is troubling because the mind cannot tell itself to do something if it has no concept of what that something is.

Also, I'm pretty sure that this comic is pedophilic in nature. Small children and masturbation is never a good road to go down. Unless you want to go to jail and be an outcast for the rest of your life.



Bound and Gagged 6/26/09

I like where this one is going, but I think it could have go further. Why not go all the way and have it be a clit ring? And a cock ring for the groom. The reactions from the crowd suggest that was the original caption.

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Old People And Technology Is Not A Funny Joke Anymore

Saturday has come again. It is getting increasingly hard to think of something to write at the beginning of my posts. Maybe I'll have something better the next time. For now you should just read the comics and the commentary. Does anyone read this first paragraph anyway?

The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee 6/8/09

I think it's about time to retire the 'old people don't understand computers' joke. It was old ten years ago. And what does that old guy need a computer for anyway? It can't be for porn because he probably hasn't had an erection since the Carter administration.



Ben 6/9/09

Actually today is Saturday, but whatever.

I can't tell if Ben is right or wrong. In the context of the question, he is wrong. But in relationship to when the comic was printed, he is right. Maybe the answer was given in one of the other comics this week, but I don't feel like looking it up.



Trevor 6/11/09

You know why you can't contact him? There are two possible reasons: 1. He hates you and wants you to be assaulted by Marmaduke. 2. He is dead in his basement, rotting because he never went outside and no one has ever seen him in person.



Popeye 6/12/09

Yes Olive, the ocean is quite wet. In fact you could say that it's the wettest place that you could possibly be.

Also, the termites didn't like the spinach can because it isn't made of wood. Termites don't eat metal.

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Saturday Returns

Hey all you people with nothing better to do on a Saturday! How've you been? Sorry 'bout that mix-up last week, but moving to a new location has really beaten the crap out of me.

Here's what we have this week.


Compu-Toon 5/27/09

I know that if I was stranded on a tiny island with no fresh water or food the first thing I would miss would definitely be my screen name. Not cold water, not a juicy hamburger, not even air-conditioning. Nope, the only thing that would make me happy is a computer with internet access so I can keep up on the message boards.

Pibgorn 5/27/09

Is there a point to Pibgorn? As far as I can tell, it mostly features art. I don't really get why this artist(I don't care enough to look up who it is)has two strips; the art is almost identical to 9 Chickweed Lane except it's in color. And Pibgorn makes me think of a cheat code for SimCity 2000, porntipsgazzardo. I don't remember what it did, but it's a pretty cool word.

Little Dog Lost 5/27/09

Behold, the first time the word scat has been used in a non-porn comic strip. Do most people even know what scat means? And is the moose saying that it's bear scat or did he see a bear and then see the scat and it's supposed to be funny because he decided to run away from the scat?

That last sentence is a doozy, read it slowly.

Bound and Gagged 5/27/09

It was my understanding that all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again. Am I wrong? And even if they did put him back together, Humpty should be grateful that they saved his life and not complain about the bill. Would you rather be dead or have to pay a hospital bill?


Hint: the right answer is to pay the hospital bill.


That's all folks. I'll be posting again soon. Until then, have a righteous day.

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