Sad Saturday Comics

Saturday is the bargain basement bin of the newspaper comics industry.  Since newspaper sales are low on Saturday, the bottom of the barrel comics get trotted out on Saturday. I assume that since millions of people aren't chained to their desks on Saturday, the comic strips aren't desperately needed to get a chuckle out of the horrible workday. Let's see what comics rate the review today:

Baldo by Hector D. Cantu and Carlos Castellanos:

Papi is off to get a triple cheeseburger and can't walk up the four flights of stairs.  If this were Crankshaft or Funky Winkerbean, Papi would be clutching his chest in the fourth panel while the little kid has to find someone with a cell phone to call 9-1-1. Yeah, that Funky Winkerbean brings the pathos.  I don't think Cantu and Castellanos are ready to kill off Papi Baldo here, but it's nice to know that the Crankshaft crowd will be disappointed that there is no follow-up heart attack humor continuing  boredom.
The Lost Bear by Bradley Trevor Grieve:

Another T.S. Eliot reference in the comics this week? Remember, earlier this week  I got to flex my Liberal Arts Degree muscles on Wednesday in Herb and Jamaal.  Granted, the Herb and Jamaal quote was from a preface to a collection of poems by another poet and this is from his poem, The Hollow Men. Of course, this masterpiece of desperation, desolation, and death by Eliot is transformed into a toy monkey with cymbals thwarted in his attempt to end the world. That's pretty desolate all on its own right there.


Nancy by Guy Gilchrist:

Yes, sit outside in the snow, you hideous mutants. Wait for sweet hypothermia to take you.  

Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller:

Always go out on a fart joke.  You can't lose. 

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Society is Lame

You people are stuck with me for another Thursday/Friday block. Today, it's just business as usual, but tomorrow... is Otter Pun Day. It will be spectacular. Now then, on with your commentary:

Bo Nanas, 1/7/10

I'm guessing it's also pretty lousy on days it rains, since the rain would cause the suit to become a soggy lump of newsprint. The guy's a jerk, anyway. Bo Nanas doesn't care about your stupid newspaper suit, all he wants to do is whistle at the bus stop.

Cow and Boy, 1/7/10

Except when would you know how to stop? How soon before cat-copters are hovering over every city, every house, waiting to descend upon children who don't live up to your definition of good? Don't go down this dark path, Boy. It's not too late.

Herman, 1/7/10

There's no way those legs could be connected to anything, unless they're connected to that dentist's chair. In which case, he's either servicing a chair with legs, or there's some sort of hole in space right there. So it's likely that his problems are far greater than a little mirror.

Non Sequitur, 1/7/10

First and foremost, she was the one who made the reference in the first place. Second, what sort of society is this where people who get geeky references are punished for it? Not a society I want to live in, that's for sure. I just hope that this woman's prejudices don't extend too far.

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Some Awesome Stuff, Then Some Other Stuff

Sorry about the late post. I swear, it's not you - it's me.

Last Kiss 11/23/09

Here is your first awesome thing in today's post, presuming you appreciate boobs (everyone should).

Bliss 11/23/09

That bird looks.... delicious. Unbeknownst to most people turkeys actually are one of the top five ugliest creatures currently in existence. If not for their tastiness they would have been wiped from the planet much like the ugly ass dodo and people who had mullets in the 80s.


Non Sequitur 11/23/09

A contest? Go forth DCR devotees and scare the world with your inappropriate suggestions!

Brainwaves 11/23/09

We had an awesome bird two comics back, so here we have 2 birds that are so fat there is no way they could achieve take-off. I'm not size-ist or nothin, but that lady-bird friend of yours might have left for some other reason than the song thing. Just saying.

Birdbrains 11/23/09

GOOD GOD THAT IS HORRIFYING!

Cul De Sac 11/23/09

And now you feel like you're hallucinating. I think my work today is done.

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Thor and the Masters of the Universe

Today is Wednesday. It is of note because the date is 9/9/09 or 9/9/09 for our European readers. This is important because it's the only time this century that the time and the date will be exactly the same. It occurred at 9:09 and 9 seconds this morning.

So enjoy that. And enjoy some comics.


Cathy 9/9/09

What about pants? Can I just have some pants? I like pants. They go on your legs.



The Knight Life 9/9/09

I fully endorse the "Cash for Comic Strip Clunkers" program. There are far too many old strips polluting our newspaper environment with their inefficient jokes. I wonder what the incentive is to trade in your old strips? Is it pants?



Home and Away 9/9/09

That is exactly what I would have said. I'm a nerd and am not ashamed.



Yenny 9/9/09

Again, that's exactly what I would have done. What man would be able to focus on the road with a delicious behind staring him in the face?



Non Sequitur 9/9/09

That has to be the lamest hallucination ever regardless of which one is hallucinating.

The drawing also reminds me of a New Yorker cartoon. That's probably what inspired this one.

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Geekiness abounds!

Hey there, cats and kittens. Are you ready for the Internet's hippest comic strip reviews? Then you should go find them, because I'm just doing what I usually do while I'm here.

Better Half, 8/13/09

I take issue with this strip because, while that man is the stature of a hobbit, he clearly does not have hairy feet or pointed ears. Also, the word hobbit is not capitalized when being used in that manner. However, I am wondering if one could go to that job and claim to be an orc or an elf while all decked-out in a costume. That would be quite an interesting place to work.

Annie, 8/13/09

Crom? The same Crom who is a part of the Conan the Barbarian mythos? Does this mean that Annie and Conan the Barbarian share the same universe and history? Could Annie be the reincarnation of Red Sonja? Is Daddy Warbucks working with Thulsa Doom? This just opens the door for so many hypothetical, yet now plausible, situations! Also, that dinosaur is obviously a carnivore. Look at those teeth. Those are for tearing the flesh off bodies, they are.

Gasoline Alley, 8/13/09

Speaking of Conan the Barbarian... I hope that Conan does exist in this universe and that he'll eventually come to Gasoline Alley and just stop this strip. I'm not sure, but I think it's the oldest strip around, and it really doesn't deserve to still be around. So get right on that, Conan. I don't care which Conan. Just get on it.

Betty, 8/13/09

Why are Americans so interested in doing stuff other cultures do when, in the not-too-distant past, we have fought wars to get away from those other countries and to stop them from doing things that they do? I realize that the United States is on good terms with Europe, but really, if George Washington could see us now he'd slowly shake his head and wonder where he and the other forefathers went wrong.

Bo Nanas, 8/13/09

Cleveland (where I live) supposedly has the best public transportation in North America. Considering how... not bad, really, but terribly uneven it is here I can only imagine what it's like in other places. That said, I would not take food or drink offered to me on a bus. I can only imagine it would be, like the service, terribly uneven. I wouldn't let them come near my face, either. Especially not with hot oil.

Flo and Friends, 8/13/09

This comic strip is either about assisted suicide, incest, or an old man's wish to be sexed to death. In any case, it's disturbing and rather depressing.

Natural Selection, 8/13/09

Attention comic strip person: Fish are not Pokemon. They do not evolve into bigger, different fish. Yes, some Pokemon are fish-like, but that does not mean anything. Also, please ignore that one "Legend of the River King" game for the Game Boy Color, in which fish COULD evolve into bigger fish. Foolish comic strip person. Unless, of course, the joke is that the grouper ate all the other fish, in which case all of what I just said just goes to show what a geek I am.

Non Sequitur, 8/13/09

I don't see what a lifeguard could really do against a giant cephalopod anyway. Beat it with that boogie-board thing, I guess?

Herb and Jamaal, 8/13/09

Stop lying to yourself, Jamaal. Seriously.

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Can You Feel The Hate Tonight?

What is up my fellow people? Had a good weekend I hope, of course how could it not be great? You were treated to my rambling on Saturday along with beer and explosions. That makes for a good day in my book.

Here's a few comics to soften your hangover.


Yenny 7/6/09

There really isn't anything to make fun of here, I just though you might enjoy some more cartoon skin.



Non Sequitur 7/6/09

You mean Hell? Usually when I hear the phrase 'special place' I think about vaginas and penises. Usually 'special place' is used in child abuse cases. Usually when you mean Hell, you just say it. There's no need to pussyfoot around the word Hell when you have an entire ass on display.



Frog Applause 7/6/09

Remember last week when I gave some respect to Frog Applause? No? You mean you don't read each and every post? Well that's why I gave you a link. Go read, it will only take a second.


Back? Okay, on with the post.

Back then I said I no longer felt the urge to kill when I read Frog Applause. Well, this strip has renewed that fire inside me. I'm not sure if the overuse of 'working' is supposed to be humorous, but it isn't. The punchline is a well worn one and hasn't been funny since the early 1960's. If the art was better maybe I could let it slide, but it looks like something even I could draw.


I really need to stop reading Frog Applause.



Dog Eat Doug 7/6/09

Now here's a punchline I can get behind. But not too close. Shit jokes will always amuse me, partly because I have a child-like mind and partly because it takes creativity to get them into a newspaper comic strip.

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Knowing Is Half The Battle

What is up comic haters? Welcome to the Tuesday edition of the Daily Comics Review. Today we have 2 comics that suck and 1 that sees my inner nerd come out. Unfortunately only 2 reviews are of the funny sort, the last one is more of an attempt at making peace between 2 war-torn factions.


Loose Parts 6/16/09

And how were you using them? Because they aren't meant to go in any orifice other than your ears. If you wanted ass plugs you should just go buy those. It'll be cheaper in the end.



Non Sequitur 6/16/09

Which leads to the most brutal domestic murder in history. And that leads to the longest murder trial in history. And the verdict leads to the biggest riots in American history. Which leads to nationwide martial law being declared. Which leads to the loss of all freedom. And that leads to a revolution that leaves the country without an organized government. And that leads to unsupervised nuclear weapons. Which, of course, leads to worldwide destruction.

And that's why you should never use this joke.



Eek! 6/16/09

Actually, both stories have merit.

Star Wars is a classic story of a small group of people fighting for freedom against a tyrannical government on the outside with the story of a son redeeming his father on the inside. Pure storytelling doesn't get much better.

Star Trek is the vision of what the future of our own race might be. Humans traveling the stars exploring the wonders of the galaxy and being a voice of peace instead of the mongrel of war-hungry nations that we are today. There isn't a better vision of what might realistically be possible for our species.

Both series of movies and TV shows also have their downsides, which I don't need to mention because we all know what they are. (prequel triology, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Enterprise)

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