The Daily Comics Review: Manic Monday

by Hal Bent

I realized today reading the comic strips, that a number of them seemed to have left off a panel or cut off the text a bit early.  So today I decided it was time to be charitable and finish the strips for the creators.

Andertoons by Mark Anderson:

...it was one of those babies from your child smuggling ring that crawled away.


Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II:

...and the police are on their way to arrest you, you pants-less creep!


Zack Hill by John Deering:

...and now he's humping my leg. Thanks, you jerk.


Thin Lines by Randy Glasbergen:

...besides, your cholesterol is so high you'll be dead next week, so eat whatever the hell you want.


Rose is Rose by Don Wimmer / Created by Pat Brady:

...and I could get the hell away from my annoying wife and idiot kid for a few precious minutes each day.


Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich:

...What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a couple of hard, pipe-hittin' niggas to go to work on homes here with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.



Last Kiss by John Lustig:

that's right, I am different, Biff--I KNOW you're a whiny loser!


It's All About You by Tony Murphy:

..except for that weekend I went out for drinks with Larry on Friday night and he slipped me a rufinol cocktail and I woke up Sunday night in an alley---I shudder to imagine, but I got caught up on my rest for sure!.  

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Hump Day Comics

Wednesday is hump day.  That means my vacation (and the kids school vacation) is half-over.  Let's see what cartoonists had trouble getting over the hump, and who flew over the hump like a teenager in a Trans Am going 35 miles over the speed limit:

Zack Hill by John Deering:

Wait, I'm confused. Is this guy a Kansas City sports fan or a Cleveland sports fan?  The red shirt on the male adult seems a little Arrowhead red, but the child's orange hair seems a little Cleveland Browns burnt orange.  Being from Boston and a sports fan (BostonSportPage.com is how I post--that's my sports blog page, and I never went and set up a new account log in...ok, I'm rambling) kids these days have no idea what it was like having a run terrible football teams, historically collapsing baseball teams, horrid hockey squads, and basketball teams from best of all-time reduced to rubble, but all at once.  Boston was a laughingstock in sports, and now has turned it around in all four major sports and the fan base is spoiled rotten by their success.  In fact, it'd be better if there was not so much....oh, God, I almost got through it without collapsing in humor.  Fans spoiled by success is great! Why do you think Boston sports fans hated New York and all their success.  Losing sports teams suck. Sorry, Cleveland and Kansas City, I feel your sports-pain and truly hope your fortune improves.


One Big Happy by Rick Detorie:

Besides, I tried giving you two twerps away, but the kidnappers kept giving you back no matter how much we begged them to keep you both.


Lio by Mark Tatulli:

Today's Lio by Mark Tatulli is the greatest comic strip ever!  Do it, Lio! Launch those insufferable Keane  Kompound brats into the stratosphere. Oh crap, where's that insufferable Jeffy one?  Wait, wait, for the love of God, we need all four at once! Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Herb and Jamaal by Stephen Bentley:

In college, I was all T.S. Eliot all the time. Thesis, articles, reports, anything I had to write, it was dragging old Thomas Stearns Eliot (of the Boston Eliot's) into it. None of this William Carlos Williams or Ezra Pound bologna (like other Liberal Arts major friends of mine who will go unmentioned...<<cough, cough-Gallagher-cough, cough>>...but why is Herb and Jamaal quoting Eliot in reference to his attempted pick-up.  So how far is Jamaal (I think the long, bald head guy is Jamaal) going here.  Just what is his proposition that crossed the line?  Look at him in panel two. It's anal.  Yup, Jamaal went there.  Pretty racy for the funny pages. 

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Why Was the Breast Milk in the Freezer?

I don't think I have any Sunday to post today but I did get a good stash of Saturday comics so let's get on with it. Don't forget to check out my site which comes back from a Garfield-related hiatus.

All strips are from 5/14/11:

Pickles

If anybody is going to be a zombie, it would be Earl. A perfect end to a good storyline.

Dick Tracy

"Oh, I don't think we need a drug-sniffing dog. Do you have a straw or a rolled-up dollar bill?"

Big Nate

Why doesn't he just say "Thank you very much" and leave it at that?

Why do I do "what-if" scenarios with fictional characters.

Frazz

I know playing "cowboy vs. Indians" is politically incorrect and it should technically be "U.S. Cavalry vs. Indians" or something like that but I'm starting to get to sneaking suspicion that Jef Mallett had a terrible childhood and that he sniffs his own farts.

Speed Bump

Speaking of farts, that's what that web address looks like "fartin' cookie dot com". You know, a quick search shows that fortunecookie.com is taken but fortune_cookie.com isn't. Why didn't Speed Bump guy use fortune_cookie.com instead of frtn_cookie.com?

The Knight Life

Ew.

Brewster Rockit! Space Guy

Brewster Rockit. If he's ever been not funny then I don't want to hear about it.

Zack Hill

I completely agree with the boy's sentiment here. But MySpace's biggest draw is that it has Friendster? No wonder MySpace sucks.

Argyle Sweater

Uh, oh Billy. I'd quit taunting the zombies if I were you.

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Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving or at least time off. I had to work Wednesday and Friday so I just had a normal weekend which really sucked. Anyway, comics.

The Amazing Spider-Man 11/28/10

I'm intrigued by this storyline mainly because I'm anxious to see how Spider-Man (but more than likely The Thing) beats up Mole Man when Aunt May is standing between them crying about the genuine affection in his eyes. I'm just a little disturbed that we are coming very close to Aunt May revealing how much she longs for another man's touch.

Zack Hill 11/28/10

I find Facebook boring too. It'd probably be better if I had more friends.

Reality Check 11/28/10

Look at the ecstatic look on Ernie's face. He's been waiting years to eat Big Bird.

Born Loser 11/28/10

We've been getting a lot of evidence lately that Wilberforce is dumber than a sack of doorknobs. Is Chip planning on a storyline where Wilberforce's idiocy saves the world? I mean, it worked on "Futurama"

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Comics I Don't Understand

Here are the comics I read today that I just did not understand. Maybe you'll understand them. Also, check out the original Comics I Don't Understand where CIDU Bill does a much better job.

Neurotica 12/22/09

Is he sick? What's that thing on his blanket? A cat? Because he sleeps with a cat, does this mean he's hacking up a hairball? While Big Al, the gal does draw better than me, what's going on in this comic is a complete mystery to me.

Zack Hill 12/22/09

I'm assuming the joke is they were supposed to split up but ended up together because everyone wants some form of electronic device? If so, then the looks of utter distress in the last panel are completely uncalled for.

Animal Crackers 12/22/09

Gnats apparently have homes and celebrate human holidays. Good to know.

That's Life 12/22/09

Is...is it funny because she's just a little girl and she can play very complicated Beethoven concertos? If that's the joke, then Mike Twohy needs to brush up on his comic strip history.

Liberty Meadows 12/22/09

I love a good Simpsons cameo as much as the next person but what does this mean? Liberty Meadows is in Springfield? Chief Wiggum and Lou are moonlighting as Liberty Meadows police officers?

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Saturday:The Week in Comics Review

Welcome one and all to your Saturday DCR. I still haven't come up with a good title and no one seems to want to help. But I'll struggle through and try to say some funny shit anyway. With that here's what we have this week:


Snapshots 1/12/09
When I first saw the panel I thought it would be something about Almost-Former-President Bush. It really would be funnier if it was, the only thing that saves this from being completely boring is the divide by zero comment. I'm not sure why he needs to be swinging from a chandelier to claim that, but I'm not a professional. And I don't think that's such a bad thing, if someone could figure out how to divide by zero I think mathematicians would like to know about it. I know I would.



Least I could Do 1/12/09
I don't really get this one. So, he had a dream that he was the Hulk and smashed her in the back? Wouldn't it be funnier if she'd dreamt that she was She-Hulk and punched him in the dick? I think that would be hilarious, but I'm kind of a bastard sometimes.



Zack Hill 1/12/09This is good because it's true. My parents don't know what texting is about and what all the abbreviations mean. However, I think that if they cared to learn they would probably know what LOL means since it's the most basic shortening of all.

Also, if they'd been texting all day, why did he wait until now to mention his dead cat? Did it die because he was texting and forgot to feed it? That seems like the most likely explanation to me.

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Don't Get Me Anything for Christmas

Ballard Street 12/16/08

He then yelled "This is a gift from the Iraqis. This is the farewell kiss, you dog!"


My Cage 12/16/08

Shouldn't they change the name "Celebreality" like they change everything to reflect the world full of animals. Might I suggest "Celebeastiality"? Maybe?


Sam & Silo 12/16/08

Better line for final panel "I'm not a rich guy and I've got fancy balls!"


Zack Hill 12/16/08

Enough! No more dog-peeing-on-Christmas-tree jokes. They are right up there with fruitcake jokes. OLD and unoriginal. How about we see a tree peeing on a dog for once, huh?

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The Bizarre Synchronistic Comics Review

We have some truly strange similarities today across the funny pages that we will be pointing out shortly, but first we have a couple of regularly weird comics for you to enjoy!

Mark Trail 10/6/08

What is that evil lady doing to our dear friend Sue the Talking Alligator? It's not enough that she's draining Sue's precious habitat and ruining her way of life.


The New Adventure of Queen Victoria 10/6/08

You thought you'd had enough of Sarah Palin jokes last week? WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED! Don't forget most comic strips have a few weeks of lead time so stuff being submitted today, in most cases, wont be printed till almost Halloween.


Least I Could Do 10/6/08

Thank God LICD is finally getting back to what they're best at: horribly offensive but hilarious sex jokes. I bet they could actually option this show and HBO or STARS would pick it up.


Off the Mark 10/6/08

Mother Goose & Grimm 10/6/08

Pretty weird huh? They at least tried to come up with a hypothetical name in OTM. Would have gone with smellmyass.com but I'm willing to bet that site is already taken.


F Minus 10/6/08

Zack Hill 10/6/08

So what are the odds that this would happen to two different strips twice on one day? As some consolation we do have a dog and a cat this time, but still.... there must be some sort of cartoonist mindmeld going on. Maybe the big pot of ideas they all take inspiration from is running low.

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The Sunday Comics 9/28/08

Zack Hill 9/28/08


Nancy 9/28/08


9 Chickweed Lane 9/28/08


Bizarro 9/28/08


Maintaining 9/28/08

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Hum Drum Wednesday Daily Comics 9/3/08

Taking it easy on a Wednesday here. I'm curious if anybody was interested in my little report on what I did on my vacation or if you prefer that I continue to be the shadowy man behind the scenes? Either way it wont be often, but if the fans don't like it then it wont be ever!

XKCD 9/3/08

Furries are real people too. Just like Family Circus fans or DCR authors, they deserve your compassion and understanding.


The Lockhorns 9/3/08

What is it I hate so much about the Lockhorns? The sham marriage jokes every other day? The awful art where a sleeping bag looks like a trap door and lamps, backpacks and paddles float in the air? For Christ's sake, they felt the readers are so stupid then need to tell us all this crap they drew are "camping gear". Hate Hate Hate.


Judge Parker 9/3/08

"Hold on a sec Steve, I've got liquid darkness pouring out of my eye hole again."


Zack Hill 9/3/08

Chauncey and I have both been watching too much Sopranos

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