The Daily Comics Review: Manic Monday

by Hal Bent

I realized today reading the comic strips, that a number of them seemed to have left off a panel or cut off the text a bit early.  So today I decided it was time to be charitable and finish the strips for the creators.

Andertoons by Mark Anderson:

...it was one of those babies from your child smuggling ring that crawled away.


Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II:

...and the police are on their way to arrest you, you pants-less creep!


Zack Hill by John Deering:

...and now he's humping my leg. Thanks, you jerk.


Thin Lines by Randy Glasbergen:

...besides, your cholesterol is so high you'll be dead next week, so eat whatever the hell you want.


Rose is Rose by Don Wimmer / Created by Pat Brady:

...and I could get the hell away from my annoying wife and idiot kid for a few precious minutes each day.


Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich:

...What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a couple of hard, pipe-hittin' niggas to go to work on homes here with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.



Last Kiss by John Lustig:

that's right, I am different, Biff--I KNOW you're a whiny loser!


It's All About You by Tony Murphy:

..except for that weekend I went out for drinks with Larry on Friday night and he slipped me a rufinol cocktail and I woke up Sunday night in an alley---I shudder to imagine, but I got caught up on my rest for sure!.  

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The Daily Comics Review: Thursday Quickies

by Hal Bent

It must be Thursday, so today is all about the QUICKIES!  OK, let's fire these up:

Adam@Home by Brian Basset:

Jack Klugman jokes? Seriously? Star of the Odd Couple and medical drama Quincy M.E.? Last culturally relevant in 1983 when Quincy M.E. was cancelled?  Basset is obviously gearing this strip for the elderly still reading newspapers instead of us online readers. 

Andertoons by Mark Anderson:

Does anyone know many times I've had to explain this to non-Star Trek fans?  NO ONE KNEW ABOUT THE INTERNET, SMART PHONES, MINIATURIZATION OF COMPUTERS IN 1967! Gene Roddenberry was a TV producer, not a technology visionary. Star Trek was not about what tech would be in the future, but rather a social commentary hidden in science fiction.


Overboard by Chip Dunham:

Gotta love a good poop joke.  Nothing else to add. Just pointing out that some days, you need a good poop joke. 


Momma by Mell Lazarus:

Hell, no, Momma. Francis is banging all the ladies!!! He's single, unattached, scoring with the ladies, and no doubt riddled with venereal diseases.  


Thanks as always for reading, all! Have a great night...the weekend is right around the corner.

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Insert Caption Here

Bewley by Anthony Blades:

Thank you, Bewley. A little non-consensual kinky vegetable play is the perfect way to start off the week. (Great job catching the sheep's expression in the third panel, by the way).



Andertoons by Mark Anderson:

You have to feel for the cartoonist who has his work go out with errors like this.  I mean, the caption is pretty obvious, but it still stinks to have your work go out to the public like that.  I feel for you, Anderson. I'm showing solidarity by co-opting the error for the title of today's blog.  

Oh, the caption? Pretty easy to figure out: "Let me finish hanging these signs and we can go to the hotel room and get a bag of carrots and put on a sheep costume."



Herb and Jamaal by Stephen Bentley:

Jamaal (?) here is shocked that the musical interlude is from a band that broke up over 40 years ago.  I assume that is the punchline. I mean, that's oldies in my book.  Classic rock has to be under 40 years old.  Iron Butterfly released In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida in 1968, which is 45 years ago.  Of course, I remember Doonesbury doing this same joke in the 80s with the Rolling Stones as elevator music and Mike Doonesbury being conflicted with the fact he was no longer in his prime and aging as the rebellious music of his youth was considered what the old fogies listen to on oldies radio stations.  He did more than make a stupid face in the final panel, too. 


Lio by Mark Tatulli:

I'm almost 40 and I feel the same way putting on pajamas and a robe.  


Pluggers by Gary Brookins:

It's funny because his blood sugar is 450 and he's slipping into unconsciousness. Whoo, those Pluggers know how to bring the aging/medical humor.  A heart attack is following for this overweight dog who married outside his species and is shacking up with an old hen.  Creepy cross-species unions going on all over the comics. Ick.

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The A-Team Punching Mimes

Welcome back to The Daily Comics Review...This makes two consecutive days, I made it to "daily"!  This is Hal Bent, I am back again with more snark, more fun, more comics.  Let's dive in before I scare off the readers...

 POOCH CAFE by Paul Gilligan:

I'm a huge fan of this comic. Poncho, the dog with the kooky ears, lives with his "master", interacts with neighborhood dogs, and suffers from the slings and arrows of having to be in a house with a "cat-lady" and all her cats.  This week, during a snowstorm, his bitter rival for his "master's" attention found him in the middle of the night in the cat box.  Sadly, the story reveals Poncho was using the cat box instead of going out in the snow.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a dog (a black and tan daschund/beagle mix named Victor: well, technically he's my wife & the kid's dog..I'm the crazy cat person in this household), and the dog will never, ever, ever use the cat box to go to the bathroom.  In fact, he uses the cat box for one purpose only: burglarizing turds.  Yes, my dog is a turd-burglar.  I was so excited that Pooch Cafe was going to explore the bizarre obsession of dogs with cat poo.  Would they call Poncho a turd-burglar? Would he adopt a costume with a mask and cape, like the Hamburglar from McDonalds commercials? No, no, and most disappointing of all, no.  

(Though I admit, I have created serials of my dog as the Turd-Burglar and his adventures.  This could be bigger than Captain Underpants or Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo...Gilligan is dropping the ball here.)

*

LUANN by Greg Evans:

Luann is one of those comic strips that...well, what the heck is ever going on here.  The title character (who fortunately is not in this story line) and her brother, this Brad guy here, are annoying.  They whine, bitch and moan, then hook-up with attractive side characters who fight over them for no apparent reason. The main characters are horrible sub-human demons lurching through the comics pages destroying the lives of any character who interacts with them. 

Personally, I'm excited Brad is finally taking the plunge into heterosexual cross-dressing.  Toni, the blond character, is apparently excited for leading him down the path. I thought he had mascara on, but remembered its a black eye. I don't remember why he has a black eye. I just assume he solicited a side character assuming he was a male prostitute--it's more interesting to the story that whatever nonsense actually happened.

*

PUCK by ElectricGecko:

Puck is technically a web comic (good luck finding it in a newspaper) and publishes once a week.  I have no idea who ElectricGecko is, but his strip is fantastic.  Puck is not the vertically challenged Canadian superhero from Marvel Comics' Alpha Flight, but rather the mythological sprite from English mythology made famous of Shakespeare's A Midsummer's Night Dream. Plus, he is a she. She is pregnant now, has a she-devil roommate named Phoebe, a dog-girl pet/daughter/family member named Daphne, and her boyfriend/baby daddy, Colin.

This week's installment summarizes everything that is great in the web comic: Snappy dialogue, mammary-centric art, and great characters.  Yes, Colin and Puck are discussing voting for a candidate for mayor named Chicken Tenders. Chicken Tenders is in the race because the other candidate for mayor was Phoebe's father, the Prince of Darkness himself, who was beaten by the pregnant Puck after he called her a slovenly pregnant crack whore.  

Yes, this comic has it all: The A-Team punching mimes? Check. Voter apathy? Check. Silent farts in elevators? Check. 

Do I love this comic? Yes.  Is it witty and well drawn (aka funny with boobs)? Yes. What more are we looking for, folks? 

*

ANDERTOONS by Mark Anderson:

It's anal sex. His reputation. Right? He just propositioned her for anal sex. Look at her expression, it fits. What else could it be.  Am I missing something? 

* 

Well, so much for not scaring off the readers.  Have a great night, all!

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Wednesday Comics

R.I.P. Bil Keane, creator of Family Circus. Family Circus wasn't always everyone's cups of tea (especially for snarky comics bloggers), but it was remarkably consistent over the years in its portrayal of family life. I will admit that it did make me smile on occasion.

Andertoons

"But even that's mostly spam anymore." Huh? At first I thought the strip might have been an import and the weird grammar was the result of a poor translation, but then I looked up Mark Anderson and found out he lives in Chicago.

Ballard Street

I need to feature more Ballard Street in my review. It is one of the most mystifyingly strange comics out there. Sometimes it's brilliantly weird; often it's just baffling. Today is one of the baffling days. Though I do enjoy Monty's crazy-proud expression.

Candorville

Looks like someone forgot to color in the Star Trek logo on Lemont's shirt... Gah! I notice too much!

Chuckle Bros

Typical Chuckle Bros: a clever gag ruined by a clunky delivery and bad art.

The Doozies

With customers like this, how does Dippin' Dots go bankrupt? I guess that explains the perplexed look on the man's face in the first panel. He's thinking, "How could my insatiable desire to gorge myself on sweet treats not keep this business afloat? Must be criminal mismanagement."

Gasoline Alley

Why call him Clarence? Oh I don't know... maybe because that's his real name, and "Chubby" is a ridiculous moniker for a grown man to have.

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