The DCR: Funday Sunnies - 9/8/2013

by Hal Bent

Happy Sunday! Extra panels, color in print, and a big honking section in the Sunday (physical) paper. With the death of print news, I'm finally back in the game buying the Sunday paper again after oh so long letting it go. It's kind of odd seeing the comics in print after reading them online for so long. Just an observation. So without further ado, the Daily Comics Review:

9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney:

This is entertaining in a "all politicians are scum" kind of way that McEldowney gets fired up about every once in a while. I approve. 

Adam@Home by Brian Basset:

Somedays you need to just throwaway the throwaway panels. Like the world needs a thorough close-up of Adam's giant nose snoring away? You know he's snoring. God, do we get a close-up of his back hair next week? Yuck!

Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II & The Other Coast by Adrian Raeside:

Wait, if Zigs here were fly-fishing, he'd be depicted in hip waders in a river or stream and replicating the flies landing on or near the water, not a dead bug sitting at the bottom of the pond which was the situation is drawn as above.  He has the stereotypical hat with the flies attached, but is he so dumb he doesn't understand fly fishing?

See "The Other Coast", Tom & Tom? That's the way you do it. Ziggy gets shown up by other comics today! Yeehah!
And his boat is named "Rosebud"? Are we getting "Citizen Kane" references in Ziggy? Does Ziggy secretly love old movies? Is he a big Orson Wells fan (more than likely).
Forget it, what's important to remember is that even the animals detest Ziggy and find fault in everything he does.
Rose is Rose by Don Wimmer / Created by Pat Brady:

This comic is only entertaining when the husband checks out his mother-in-law and wished his wife was tubby like her. Seriously. Leaning against trees, taking out the trash and turning it into a spiritual experience, pretending to be a biker chick, talking in gibberish, that crap goes on all the time here in Rose is Rose, but when they get into the husband's deviant sexual side and inappropriate fantasies, then it gets interesting. Just saying. Sure, it is not going on here and is just boring as usual. I mean, this one is strip 8,452 about the cat sniffing that I can remember. Yup, big theme in this comic. Boo, get the comics back to deviant sexual thoughts already!


The Norm by Michael Jantze:
Funny, I didn't see anything that said "Joke recycled and NOT updated from 1996" anywhere on this comic. When was the last time anyone ever heard or used the exact phrase "CD-Rom" anyway? I mean, I know digital music was big only 15 years ago, but a nice generic office setup is ruined here. 

Boy, two straight days with the Norm...I'm watching you, Jantze!

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The Daily Comics Review: Manic Monday

by Hal Bent

I realized today reading the comic strips, that a number of them seemed to have left off a panel or cut off the text a bit early.  So today I decided it was time to be charitable and finish the strips for the creators.

Andertoons by Mark Anderson:

...it was one of those babies from your child smuggling ring that crawled away.


Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II:

...and the police are on their way to arrest you, you pants-less creep!


Zack Hill by John Deering:

...and now he's humping my leg. Thanks, you jerk.


Thin Lines by Randy Glasbergen:

...besides, your cholesterol is so high you'll be dead next week, so eat whatever the hell you want.


Rose is Rose by Don Wimmer / Created by Pat Brady:

...and I could get the hell away from my annoying wife and idiot kid for a few precious minutes each day.


Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich:

...What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a couple of hard, pipe-hittin' niggas to go to work on homes here with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.



Last Kiss by John Lustig:

that's right, I am different, Biff--I KNOW you're a whiny loser!


It's All About You by Tony Murphy:

..except for that weekend I went out for drinks with Larry on Friday night and he slipped me a rufinol cocktail and I woke up Sunday night in an alley---I shudder to imagine, but I got caught up on my rest for sure!.  

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Monty Killed Off All the Neanderthal

Monty by Jim Meddick:

Don't worry.  Monty didn't corrupt history by giving Oomuka, his Neanderthal bride, the keychain referenced here.  He corrupted history by giving her an S.T.D. that decimated the Neanderthal race.  Mystery of history solved. 


Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich:

DVR? Just saying. What game is he referring to? Is it a local team? Basketball? Hockey? I need more information to process this dilemma.  Also, who says "spinning like a figure skater"?  That does not seem like a normal thing to think as part of an internal dialogue.  Is he watching a figure skating game?  Do they have figure skating games?  This gets back to the game.  What is this guy watching 


Rose is Rose by Don Wimmer / Created by Pat Brady:

I hate to get all "First World Problems" on dear Rosie here, but hanging drawings on the fridge? Cat meowing? Laundry? The checkbook probably under a pile of bills where the husband can't find it?  I guess keeping the real world issues (kid has serious issues and medical bills, check book overdrawn) is a little heavy handed for the comic strips, but why doesn't she just get in her leather/biker babe persona and tell the rest of family here to fetch mommy a bottle of wine and go away for 20 minutes while she takes a bath.


Pluggers by Gary Brookins:

Wait, I'm approaching 40 and I have an electric razor?  Am I turning into a Plugger?  Will I be turning into a bizarre dog-creature?  Will I be concerned about driving an old beat up truck and be married to a bizarre chicken-creature? Is this my horrible future?

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Comic Strips and Comic Books: A Match Made in Heaven

It's a snow day here, as work will wait another day since the city cannot manage to clear the roads despite the snow having ended well over 24 hours ago.  With that, it's time to dig into another daily dose of comics and let loose my considerable knowledge gleaned from wasting thousands and thousand of dollars on comic books (rather than the very little bit of knowledge gleaned from wasting thousands and thousands of dollars on my academic education).

Brevity by Dan Thompson:

This is a rare opportunity to complement a comic done right. Thompson combines two disparate worlds into one very humorous scene.  Nick Fury (time to put on my comic book hat...not that I have a real comic book hat, but that would be cool to have a hat that I wear for comic book discussions...hmm...this is gonna have to happen) is from the Marvel Universe, as former Director of SHIELD is well-known for his distinctive eye-patch.  Of course, Jean Shepherd's masterpiece Christmas Story starring Ralph and his quest for the BB Gun for Christmas where his mother leads the "You'll shoot your eye out" group of dissent.  

So we have Ralph and Nick Fury combined here as Nick shoots his eye out due to getting the BB Gun for Christmas and has to wear the eye-patch.  Funny, combines two smart concepts, and captures Fury's father well to just make him recognizable enough....at least recognizable enough to comic book readers...at least Marvel-616 Universe readers...Ultimate Universe and movie viewers not reading the comics will think "that guy looks NOTHING like Samuel L. Jackson, but no need to get into all that...I'm sure I've been confusing enough.

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Eek! by Scott Nickel:

Staying on a Marvel Comics theme here, we have half of the Fantastic Four confronting the villainous Mole Man.  Here the Mole Man takes on multiple meanings, not just living in his subterranean Mole City (nice representation of the Moloids over his shoulder) but also having dermal moles on his face.  Rather than brawling, the Human Torch seems quite concerned about the moles appearing on the Mole Man's face, making me wonder if Mr. Fantastic is back setting up the lab to prep for the Mole Man and check if the moles are cancerous.  

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Get Fuzzy by Darby Conley:

Great job here understanding the dog motive.  I can picture my own dog (if capable of answering the phone) being the same way as poor, sweet Satchel here.  Just as any noise has him panicking that SOMEONE is outside the door, imagine his terror at not knowing who was on the end of the phone.  Perfect representation of dog behavior. And Bucky Katt, of course, as all cats, has lost interest almost immediately and fails to ascertain the canine motive of desperation in needing to know "IS ANYONE THERE?".  

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Rose is Rose by Don Wimmer / Created by Pat Brady:

Yeah, so many young, college-loan debt-laden elementary school teachers are halfway to spring break vacations.  Sure, on their salaries its not like they are juggling paying off the loan, putting gas in their ten year old vehicle, paying the rent, and collecting enough nickels to enjoy a dinner of Ramen Noodles.  Heck, no. Those affluent teachers are all about Cabo-Wabo and partying their asses off in the Caribbean. 

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Aluminum hats, 50 years out of date, freaky-deaky, and Ziggy steals my thunder

No time to waste! Let's get the comic fun started: 

Pickles by Brian Crane:

This child is an idiot.  If you want people not to read your thoughts, your hat has to be made out of aluminum foil at minimum, and if it's a super telepathic mutant like Professor X, you need a sweet metal helmet like Magneto wears.  Jeez, that is some lazy writing.  Pick up an X-Men comic book (they publish about 20 of them a month, it seems these days) or watch one of the  movies already...Well, not X-Men 3,  The Last Stand. That was an un-watchable catastrophe of epic proportions.  In fact, I think its time to pretend that the movie never happened. Yup, wiped it from my memory right there.

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Rose is Rose by Don Wimmer / Created by Pat Brady

I don't have anything to say about this strip. I find it kinda boring and predicable, and hardly ever funny. I do find it fascinating (I read all the comics, even the ones I don't like, because....well, they're comics!) that in this strip, the husband, Jimbo, hates that his skinny wife is thin and fantasizes about her being fat like her mother.  FREAKY!  Rose, the wife, is a wall-flower who imagines that she's a motorcycle chick clad in leather and kicking ass all over town.  S&M and LEATHER, yee-hah! 

Today's strip? Who cares, no one is getting their freaky imagination on and there's no point in reading.

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Soup to Nutz by Rick Stromoski:

Give me a break! Kids watching the Lone Ranger? I am a male in the 25 to 49 year old range...I AM YOUR TARGET MARKET! APPEAL TO ME, I DEMAND YOU APPEAL TO ME!!!!  

The Lone Ranger? A show popular around World War II? Are these two really watching the Lone Ranger?  My kids are the age these two are drawn as, and they'd identify the Lone Ranger as....no one, nothing.  And I cram culture down their throats: I make them watch M*A*S*H and WKRP in Cincinnati. The Lone Ranger was old and out-of-date when I was young.  Heck, the Lone Ranger was classic TV when my mother was a child.  Are cartoonists reduced to stealing punchlines from the 1950s? What next, the strip going to recycle Daisy Mae going to try to marry L'il Abner? Cultural references 50 years out-of-date...so much fun.

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Nest Heads by John Allen:

Um, the woman in the picture is ripping off his shirt because they are gonna get super freaky-deaky!  Wait, you wouldn't say that to the kid?  Oh, and instead you;d go and give the kid a complex about human reproduction? That's what you want to teach them?  What is with the facial expression on goggles  lady in the third panel? She is pissed  off that there is sex going on somewhere.  Laundry.  Yeah, great response, you spinster Puritan.   Hope you get stuck with the kid's psychiatric bills when she's a teen.

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Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II:

You know, some days they take the words right out of your mouth...ain't that the truth, Ziggy. Ain't that the truth!

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Introducing the Hand 'Stache

9 Chickweed Lane

In the absence of dialog in today's 9 Chickweed Lane, I've decided to write in some in the hope of making sense of this strip.  Here goes:

"The man in front of me in line at the post office had a big bushy mustache like this."

"Dear God!!  Not a big bushy mustache?!!!"

"My gravitational pull is suddenly reversed and now I'm floating away!  And it's making me sick!  Urp!"

"Grab my hand!  I've got you... noooooooooooo!"

Hmm... I don't think that helps much.  I suppose I could always check the last week's worth of strips to see what's going on, but I'm probably going to be disappointed.  Whatever relationship drama these two are going through isn't going to top the startling-mustache/floating-away-into-space storyline. 

Betty

Are you gonna stand for that shit, Betty?!  You're getting laid off anyhow, better to go out in a blaze of glory!  You can start by shoving that Danish back your new boss's face.

Big Nate 

Here you go: a comic wherein a sixth-grader casually inquires as to the sex-life of a frumpy, older school teacher.  Enjoy!

Rose is Rose

Don't get angry little bird, in a few days you'll have a fresh squirrel carcass to nibble on.

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Leap Year

Happy Leap Year! Time for some comics review!

Agnes

Uh... it's every four years. Since Trout seems to know so much about this day, you'd think she'd be aware of that.

Alley Oop from 2/27/11

For the last time: THEIR DRESSES ARE TWO DISTINCT COLORS! Differentiating the two requires only a minuscule amount of memorization. Or if you can't see color, the shoulder strap of one dress is on the left, the other is on the right. Okay, no more excuses.

Bob the Squirrel

My vote is for "February Supreme."

Brevity

"Last!"?? You can't have a "last" comment. Does anyone do that? Someone would just comment right after. A "first" comment would have been more true to life. TECHNOLOGY JOKE FAIL!

Broom Hilda

Looks like the maître d' should be the one more familiar with the concept of eating for three.

Rose is Rose

Are there actually any leap year celebrations out in the world? No so much of a holiday per se, as just an extra day. Though perhaps it should be.

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Bad Thoughts

Hey, Peter here again, bringing you more Wednesday comic review.

Adam@Home

Whoa! Apparently, little Clayton's mind is a cesspool of bad thoughts so terrible and disturbing that he worries he could make Santa's "Naughty List" because of it. Adam's mind, of course, is filled with nothing but thoughts of coffee.

F Minus

I.Q. requirements for difficult classes is not a bad idea actually. It would have saved me from foolishly taking on Quantum Mechanics.

Love Is

Because there are certainly no major differences between these two sexless, cherub-like things.

Rose is Rose

The Rose is Rose clan destroyed that squirrel's home just so that they could hang shinny things on it for the next few weeks. And afterwards, they'll throw the dangerously dry plant in the trash. Yeah, sounds pretty awful when you say it that way. Artificial tree anyone?

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Now with 110% more exploding cow heads.

Hello all. Time for some Wednesday comics review!

The Born Loser

Would a punchline have been too much to ask?

Candorville

Now kids, can you tell me which of these unemployed gentlemen is living clean and sober and which is as high as the SOHO satellite?

Cow and Boy

True. I don't know about your head exploding, but if you gave 10% more than you had to give you would probably die. On a side note, I can't be the only one thinking that while Cow is headless Boy should use this opportunity to slice off a bit of prime rib or a nice juicy sirloin. Mmm... perhaps I shouldn't be reading the comics while hungry...

The Grizzwells

The frightened look on the porcupine's face in the second panel suggests that this is not the first time that the rabbit has gotten these inter-species lustful urges. Run away, Pierpoint! No woodland critter is safe!

Rose is Rose

No, it's not mandatory little birdie, but guess who gets to die cold, hungry, and alone this winter.

Gasoline Alley

Whoa! Seriously? Blatant product pitching in the comics page? Ug.

The Fusco Brothers

I guess Axel's prostrate cancer is going undiagnosed for at least another few months.

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The Return of Mike P

Hey there, all you cats and kittens. It's Mike P, and I'm back from my month-long (or however long it was) sabbatical. What have I been up to, you ask? You shouldn't have to ask. You should know. Frankly, I'm hurt that you'd even ask such a question. Here it is, though. The Meekrat Entertainment Group. Right now we're finishing up March Meekrat Madness (the fact that March is long over is part of its charm) and starting up Archaic English Society Month, which I made a trailer for. How about that? You should all go and vote and whatnot and enjoy the various bits of fiction and comics and all that jazz. There's no jazz, at least not to my knowledge. Anyway, let's take a look at some comics, ranging from mildly confusing to something which threatens to shatter the very cosmos. Let's begin, shall we? All comics are from the day of this post, unless otherwise noted, and keep in mind you can go to Meekrat on Sundays (or thereabouts) to see even more comic strip commentary by me.

Brevity

Okay, I lied. I'm actually just doing these in some random order. This is neither the enraging or cosmos-breaking one, though. Just one I liked. It's the sort of cheating you might see at any of the events of March Meekrat Madness, really, and considering how the guy won, about the same result as well. What, you need a joke? All right. This gives new meaning to the term shatter-shot.

I never said it would be a good joke...

The Lockhorns

...which is what whoever is doing this comic strip says every day, and five times on Sunday. This example is especially notable because, for some reason, Loretta felt the need to print out Leroy's test pictures and hang them on the wall. One wonders why she, who hates Leroy, would go through all this trouble. Surely not in the service of showing off her husband's lack of technological finesse. Unless this is some sort of weird future Lockhorns where Leroy and Loretta have finally split and the terrible pictures are actually the only remembrances Loretta has of her husband, and she has put them on the wall because she finds that, against all chances, she misses him and her time with him. If this is the case, Loretta's companion will be running out of the house screaming in a few minutes when Loretta shows her the Leroy doll she has made from things she finds of his around the house, such as bits of hair.

Mallard Fillmore

I could have used the exact same lead-in to this comic, and let me tell you, it was an epic show of the decision-making process. Mallard Fillmore tries just so hard to be a pariah, doesn't he? Like Howard the Duck, he wants to be trapped in a world he never made, but unlike Howard, who usually tried to make the best of it, Mallard Fillmore picks random things to harp on about. He's not trapped in a world he never made, he's trapped in a world that hates him, and he made the trap himself. No one likes you, Mallard. And do you know who has no flat-screens in his house? THIS GUY. [points thumbs at self] I know plenty of other people who have no flat-screens, either, so shut up, duck. You are the anthropomorphic duck I like the least.

Now, are you ready for your cosmos to be shattered?

Girls and Sports

This right here? I thought it was actually sort of funny. The world is no longer one I know.

Rose is Rose

I like how everyone else has quasi-profound thoughts, but the guy is just worried about how his dinner threatens to leave his body sooner than he anticipated.

The Buckets

And somewhere, Hank Hill dies a little inside.

There you go, folks. My triumphant return. I'll be back tomorrow with more shenanigans.

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