Something New

I'm back from a long absence, and here I am trying something new:

Thanks for reading, I'll be back next week, but if you want more comics and whatnot from me there's always the Meekrat Entertainment Group.

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Beach Fun

Hello readers, time for some Wednesday comics review!

F Minus

Thank you purple-suited beach lady for saving your fellow sunbathers from the ghastly sight of your husband's man-parts. Though the beach does look pretty empty, I suppose you could have let the old man have some fun in his declining years.

The Lockhorns

Leroy is not one to talk. His balanced diet probably consists of a gallon of stout and a gallon of lager.

The Piranha Club

This comic illustrates the perils of colorizing an originally black and white strip. I think the woman's lips were supposed to be a deep red, but colorist can't color over black ink. Either that, or she's really a goateed man with a rather unfortunate glandular condition.

Zits

Jeremy's friend, Hector, is still sporting that awful makeover. I know it is probably an attempt by the cartoonists to make him look less like Jeremy's dad in a wig, but now he just resembles a fat Gene Simmons (not a good look).

The Duplex

Why has Fang made friends with a pumpkin? I know he's a dog, but isn't he usually portrayed as the brains of his side of the duplex? This seems out of character.

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As I was going through the comics today, I noticed FoxTrot was a little different. First of all, it was in Spanish so I couldn't understand it but I powered through it thinking there was going to be a great joke at the end...

But there wasn't so I went to foxtrot.com and saw that GoComics sent the email with the Spanish version. They also did this with Stone Soup but I didn't look at the English version of that.


Lockhorns 12/5/10

I don't know what happened to Loretta in the first panel but it's good to know a case of amnesia isn't clouding her hatred of Leroy.

It's good that Leroy beat her so hard that she forgot what happened so now she won't be able to press charges against him.

Close to Home 12/5/10

I don't get this. What's going on?

Wee Pals 12/5/10

I hate Wee Pals.

Bizarro 12/5/10

Won't somebody think of the children!?!

Hey, let's go see what going on over in Heathcliff

OH, DEAR GOD!! WHAT IS GOING ON?! BURN IT! SEND IT TO HELL!!

Ink Pen 12/5/10

P.J. got tall. And speaking of Family Circus...


I love all the looks on the kids' faces. It looks like they are all doing it for retribution and revenge. "How dare you drool on my pillow" (Mar), "How dare you be born therefore becoming the youngest." (Apr), "How dare Daddy spend more time in the garden than with me." (May), "I'm sick of brown dogs, white is better!" (July), "Qing Dynasty vases pale in comparison to Ming." (Oct), "This ponytail does not pass muster." (Nov)

Birdbrains 12/5/10

Ha! Bailout jokes are just as topical now as they were back in 2008.

Mary Worth 12/5/10

Who else reading Mary Worth is tired of Jill badmouthing marriage? Look, Jill, just because your marriage failed and you soften the pain with meaningless sex and booze doesn't mean everybody's marriage will fail. Have you ever thought that maybe your marriage failed because you are a bitch? No? Well, I suggest you think about that.

Born Loser 12/5/10

And Brutus is the master nitwit. Oh, yeah. I went there.

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Comic Strip Commentary, Just for You!

Blah. Plug.

Strange Brew

But Mario! You ARE a doctor! Unless your doctor persona is some sort of schizophrenic break in your psyche. I know you bust those bricks with your fists, but you can't tell me all the rubble misses you.

Popeye

This sums up the current storyline very nicely. The king wants to marry a woman, Popeye dresses as said woman (for some reason, though if this is related to the other strip I posted a while back, it's because he doesn't want Olive Oyl marrying the king) and now the jig is up! What will Popeye do? Probably punch things. So many things.

Lockhorns

Hold on, the Lockhorns making a technology joke that actually sort of makes sense? Good thing it's Friday, because I need some time to wrap my head around this.

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Science, math, art, and a look into the new MTV series "Pimp My Turtle."

Hmm.  It's an Arkholt post.  Must be Saturday.  Here's some comic blurbs.  This may even be educational. Why?  Because I'm going in alphabetical order today.

Agnes:

I have several problems with this strip.  First, if you dip a cheese curl in water for twenty seconds, I think the cheese powder on the outside would probably come off, so they wouldn't still be orange when you put them on the cloth on the floor.  Secondly, most likely the water you dipped it in would be orange after a large amount have been dipped.  I blame these problems on whoever colored the strip, as it often isn't the cartoonist that does it.  If it is, though, shame on him.

The biggest problem with this strip, however, is that the cheese curl would likely either disintegrate in the water or fall apart as you tried to get it out of the water, so straightening it would likely be be impossible.

All of this comes from educated guesses, however.  I'll have to get some cheese curls and do some tests.

Baby Blues:

I believe the second reason for doing summer homework is the real reason she's doing it.  Perhaps I'm not giving Zoe enough credit, but I wouldn't think that "staying sharp" is really more important to her than making Hammy look bad.  I can't see it being extremely important to her at all.  Annoying her brother, however, is what she lives for.  So, I'll just have to give this one to her.

Brevity:

"Time to go challenge the Hare to another race.  No one will laugh at me now!"

The Lockhorns:

I want one!  No, I don't want one of those, actually.  I want something that looks like that but is far larger.  Like, as large as me.  THAT would be a conversation piece.

Reality Check:

Yeah, yeah, Thomas Edison didn't invent the lightbulb.  Fine.  Still, he improved the design and made it actually work properly.  Alexander Graham Bell is credited with inventing the telephone, but Thomas Edison worked his magic on that as well, with Bell watching him.  Yeah, worked with Bell to improve the telephone, and he showed Bell up by making it actually usable, just like he did with the lightbulb.  So, next time anyone says Edison is an idea stealer, please remember that the people with the ideas are not always the ones that make the ideas work.

Sorry for the rant.  Isn't this supposed to be funny?  Yeah.  Maybe I won't rant so much on Monday. 

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The Return of Mike P

Hey there, all you cats and kittens. It's Mike P, and I'm back from my month-long (or however long it was) sabbatical. What have I been up to, you ask? You shouldn't have to ask. You should know. Frankly, I'm hurt that you'd even ask such a question. Here it is, though. The Meekrat Entertainment Group. Right now we're finishing up March Meekrat Madness (the fact that March is long over is part of its charm) and starting up Archaic English Society Month, which I made a trailer for. How about that? You should all go and vote and whatnot and enjoy the various bits of fiction and comics and all that jazz. There's no jazz, at least not to my knowledge. Anyway, let's take a look at some comics, ranging from mildly confusing to something which threatens to shatter the very cosmos. Let's begin, shall we? All comics are from the day of this post, unless otherwise noted, and keep in mind you can go to Meekrat on Sundays (or thereabouts) to see even more comic strip commentary by me.

Brevity

Okay, I lied. I'm actually just doing these in some random order. This is neither the enraging or cosmos-breaking one, though. Just one I liked. It's the sort of cheating you might see at any of the events of March Meekrat Madness, really, and considering how the guy won, about the same result as well. What, you need a joke? All right. This gives new meaning to the term shatter-shot.

I never said it would be a good joke...

The Lockhorns

...which is what whoever is doing this comic strip says every day, and five times on Sunday. This example is especially notable because, for some reason, Loretta felt the need to print out Leroy's test pictures and hang them on the wall. One wonders why she, who hates Leroy, would go through all this trouble. Surely not in the service of showing off her husband's lack of technological finesse. Unless this is some sort of weird future Lockhorns where Leroy and Loretta have finally split and the terrible pictures are actually the only remembrances Loretta has of her husband, and she has put them on the wall because she finds that, against all chances, she misses him and her time with him. If this is the case, Loretta's companion will be running out of the house screaming in a few minutes when Loretta shows her the Leroy doll she has made from things she finds of his around the house, such as bits of hair.

Mallard Fillmore

I could have used the exact same lead-in to this comic, and let me tell you, it was an epic show of the decision-making process. Mallard Fillmore tries just so hard to be a pariah, doesn't he? Like Howard the Duck, he wants to be trapped in a world he never made, but unlike Howard, who usually tried to make the best of it, Mallard Fillmore picks random things to harp on about. He's not trapped in a world he never made, he's trapped in a world that hates him, and he made the trap himself. No one likes you, Mallard. And do you know who has no flat-screens in his house? THIS GUY. [points thumbs at self] I know plenty of other people who have no flat-screens, either, so shut up, duck. You are the anthropomorphic duck I like the least.

Now, are you ready for your cosmos to be shattered?

Girls and Sports

This right here? I thought it was actually sort of funny. The world is no longer one I know.

Rose is Rose

I like how everyone else has quasi-profound thoughts, but the guy is just worried about how his dinner threatens to leave his body sooner than he anticipated.

The Buckets

And somewhere, Hank Hill dies a little inside.

There you go, folks. My triumphant return. I'll be back tomorrow with more shenanigans.

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Balloon-Human Hybrids Are Here! Get Yours Now!

So last week I got called a "fuckrag" which is actually pretty tame considering what I have been called at work. I work for the Federal government so I've been called a lot worse than fuckrag. What is a fuckrag anyway?

Blondie 4/25/10

Wow. Herb has just royally screwed Dagwood. Not to mention possibly hurting his life-long friendship. Oh well, Dagwood will still have Daisy.

Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids 4/25/10

I realize Slylock is the end all be all of justice in this woodland hamlet but even Slylock has to admit that if there is no evidence of Shady Shrew having stolen the acorns then there is no case.

The Lockhorns 4/25/10

I, for one, am pleased that Leroy has finally manned up and bought himself that stripper he was always going on about. And what's even better is that Loretta doesn't look the least bit like she's going to make him return it.

The Norm 4/25/10

Michael Jantze has read a Superman comic since the 1970s right? Lois really hasn't needed Superman since 1986 and these days of course Superman is going to rescue her, she is his wife after all.

Dick Tracy 4/25/10

Sadly that cell phone didn't help that guy in the bed. He's already dead!

Amazing Spider-Man 4/25/10

Sabretooth got to Miami pretty quickly. I love how Sabretooth isn't even hurting anyone, he's just causing property damage. If this were a comic book he'd be slashing chests and snapping necks.

Girls & Sports 4/25/10

I like Girls & Sports unlike fellow DCRer (DCRist? DCRite?) MikeP. Anyway, I hope Mike likes the fact that every woman Marshall has ever been near responds to his actions with disgust.

Also, the Girls & Sports Wikipedia page is in need of some re-writing.

Shoe 4/25/10

Just a week after I complain about how we never see the character the strip is named after, he's here! However, I stand by the opinion that Shoe is still a terrible comic.

Beetle Bailey 4/25/10

What in the hell is going on here? Is General Halftrack some sort of weird balloon-human hybrid? I am so confused by Halftrack's odd affliction and by Mrs. Halftrack apparently wearing her bathrobe while they are...what? Were they going to church or something or were they going to the doctor anyway?

How much does Mort Walker drink these days?

Brevity 4/25/10

And just because it's funny.


And yes I called a stripper "it". Even if it walks like a person, talks like a person and looks like a person, strippers are dead inside.

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