Drunker than a Snowman

It's 2012 everybody! Time for some more comics review.

Andy Capp

When the neighborhood kids erect a snowman depicting your drunkenness, it's probably time to quit drinking.

Betty

Looks like Bub is taking his son out to Hooters for some hot wings and chili cheese fries.

Bliss

This is like a person designing his house to look like a porta-potty. I don't understand the dog's motivation here. Does he intend to use this structure as a bathroom? Why am I questioning a t00l-weilding dog's motivation? Damn you, Bliss!

Off the Mark

Very nice wordless comic. Though how did the dog climb up on the counter while wearing that cone? When my cat had one, he was very clumsy and kept running into things.

In the Bleachers

Normally I don't much care for this comic, but I like the wordplay today.

In the Sticks

The beaver shouldn't be so happy about the bear's impossible wish. A wish that comes true is more likely to encourage him to keep making more wishes. Unless the bear is so stupid that he just keeps throwing money in, hoping that more will somehow help? Did I just describe someone with a gambling problem?

Okay, that's all for now. See you next week!

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Nose puppets are weird.

Hey all. Time for some Wednesday comics review.

The Buckets

I don't want to destroy the mother's scholarship dreams, but the creative writing establishment generally looks down at that kind of pulpy sci-fi.

Agnes

I almost googled "Eastern Boogervian nose puppets" to see if it was a real thing, but then I

realized, "Oh yeah, 'booger-vian.'" Sigh. Sometimes it takes me a few seconds to get stuff.

In the Bleachers

It's a bit weird that Fitzpatrick is the name of a simpleton in this comic, especially considering now that Ryan Fitzpatrick, a Harvard graduate, is doing well for the Buffalo Bills.

Lola

I don't know about you, but I find cussing old ladies to be hilarious.

Birdbrains

This joke may have worked if not for the stupid faux-native name. "Farts-On-Crackers?" Really?

Chuckle Bros

Where the hell is everyone else at this convention? There's an open bottle of wine and two filled glasses at every table but no people! That's just creepy.

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Bazaar of the Bizarre

This post would have been much better for last week, but the comics page didn't deliver. So come one, come all to the Daily Comics Review Bazaar of the Bizarre! I, your humble host Mike P, shall guide you through three comics, each bizarre in their own way! First off...

The Barn

...the only thing really bizarre about this one is the owl! Just look at his eyes! LOOK AT HIS CRAZY EYES! Also, this reminds me of the owl from "Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" whose name I won't look up but I think is Kaepora Gaebora or something like that. Mainly because he's carrying off that little sheep.

In the Bleachers

Next, we have this odd installment of "In the Bleachers" which doesn't take place in the usual sports-themed arena, but rather a surgical theater! At least, I think that's what they're called! Once again, I refuse to look it up! That's really the only bizarre thing about this. However, I do want to point out the sloppy caption coupled with the poor use of word balloons. This cartoon could have worked perfectly well without the word balloons:

Or with no caption, but rather an extra word balloon:

It does work as-is, of course, but it's also a muddled mess. One might argue that the surgeon's cry of "scalpel!" is to clarify what's going on, but really, who needs that?

Flight Deck

Our final stop in this Bazaar of the Bizarre is this: a seemingly innocuous single-panel comic that, at first glance, seems to be just a meta-commentary on the cliche it's portraying. Look closer, but not too close, for the man is just aching for a chance to devour his companion. The man is truly mad.

Go now into the night, for this Bazaar is over.

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Just a Lazy Sunday

Welcome to Sunday. Sadly, you are stuck with me until Wednesday because that's what Bryce wants me to do. In some rather serious news, Brittany Murphy, star of Clueless, 8 Mile and TV's King of the Hill has passed away at the age of 32. But you don't want sad, you want comics.





The Born Loser 12/20/09

I hate when newspapers edit out the throwaway panels because, even though you don't lose any of the story, you may lose another joke. Not here though. Just a deranged image of Wilberforce acting stupid. You are a child, idiot. For more Born Loser, please visit my site.

Baby Blues 12/20/09

Alas, Darryl's pathetic attempt to make love to his wife and probably watch an episode of HBO's Hung is crushed by Wanda and her wanting to be a good parent.

Beetle Bailey 12/20/09

I think today's Beetle Bailey proves that Beetle is not only the most insane person at Camp Swampy but also the smartest. Hopefully, he only uses his powers for good (and getting out of menial chores).

Mary Worth 12/20/09

Wait. Isn't Wilbur smiling in just about every other panel? Why does the last panel turn so dark and depressing all of a sudden? Is there more to Wilbur besides ugly '70s wardrobe and premarital sex than he's letting on? I sincerely hope the words "drug mule" make it's way into this storyline.

Shoe 12/20/09

Too much to read in this strip and what's really sad is that if you get past all the inane lead-ups, all you get is a poop joke.

The Argyle Sweater 12/20/09

Nothing bad about this comic, I just love the subtle humor.

In the Bleachers 12/20/09

I can't believe it actually took two panels to tell this stupid joke. Gee, I wonder why you have to be tall to play in the NBA...it boggles the mind.

Wee Pals 12/20/09

Wow! So apparently this little girl is not so much a child as she is a slave apparently. Hey, does anyone remember the 1970s "Kid Power" animated series produced by Rankin/Bass? Me neither but that didn't stop me from owning two videocassettes of it. Here's a sampling:

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450th Post Extravaganza!

Woo! This is the 450th post at the Daily Comics Review! This really means nothing, in the grand scheme of things, I just like multiples of 10 and 25. Anyway, here's today's comic reviews.

Bizarro and Bound and Gagged, 9/10/09

Nothing really interesting to say about either of these, I just think it's neat when two comic strips use the same sort of premise for a joke on the same day.

Cul de Sac, 9/10/09

Again, nothing interesting to say, really. I just think it'd be neat to have had to navigate a maze everyday. Especially if there were minotaurs in there, or perhaps ghosts. It'd be dandy.

Crankshaft, 9/10/09

Even Crankshaft's possessions rebel against him and his curmudgeonly ways. That smug lawn-mower will be singing a different tune when Crankshaft "accidentally" runs over it with his bus.

Dick Tracy, 9/10/09

I have no idea why they keep going back to the tiger, unless they're trying to pull a "Mark Trail". Unless the tiger was sent to kill the Ringmaster, which would mean that he fell in love with the very tiger that was sent to kill him! Then again, they do say it was a man that was sent to kill him, so maybe it was a magic bullet that turned the man into a tiger. Which would make the Ringmaster's forbidden relationship with a tiger that much more taboo.

In the Bleachers, 9/10/09

If there's one thing I hate more than comic strips trying to be political, it's animate skeletons. I really hate animate skeletons.

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Copy-Cats and Whatnot

Well, I have thirteen comics today. However, most of them have just been chosen because they're pretty much identical to each other. For example:

BEAVERS LIKE TO EAT WOOD!
The Argyle Sweater and Ziggy, 7/10/09

I think it's important to note that beavers don't actually eat wood. Cartoonists, obviously, don't realize this.

ANIMALS ARE TOO STUPID TO REALIZE WE SLAUGHTER THEM TO MAKE THINGS!
In the Bleachers and Farcus, 7/10/2009

This one is probably true, however. Also, who would let hoofed animals work on an assembly line? Really now, there's suspended disbelief, and then there's straight-up shooting belief in the back of the head and letting its corpse float downriver to scare children.

BAD PAINTING GO IN THE CLOSET!
Moose and Molly and Pickles, 7/10/2009


I'm glad they're just sort of inventing cliches at this point. We definitely need more of those to replace the old worn-out ones.

Of course, in addition to the above comics, we have three strips featuring appearances by the cast of Zits. One of them is Zits, of course:
Zits, Rip Haywire, and Moderately Used 7/10/2009



I'm sure there's some reason for this that's unknown to me, but it's still sort of weird seeing these characters in all three comics. Also, I was wondering when they were coming out with that issue of Archie. I'm serious about that. I'm not going to read it, but I do like knowing that it's out.

Then we have some random comics:
Mary Worth, 7/10/09:

Mary Worth is so angry that she's actually using PHYSICAL FORCE to meddle. Look at her. This is the angriest I've ever seen the woman. She looks like she's some sort of action hero whisking away the damsel in distress, when in reality she's just a meddlesome old lady. That woman, though, is just asking to me hit on in that stunning yellow combo of shirt which covers nothing, fishnet stockings, and heels. Rawr.

Ted Rall, 7/10/09:

If you told me that today was the day I'd see a cartoon featuring the President calling a bunch of people fags, then I'd just look at you and say, "So? What do I care?" Then again, he could just be answering the group's question. In any case, why is he using that word at all? Is this a reference to some sort of news thing I missed? Is the President vaguely homophobic? Why am I thinking so much about this stupid cartoon?

Get Fuzzy, 7/10/09:

Shrodinger's Cat is one of my favorite hypothetical experiments, and it's nice to see it get some love. It's also nice to see Bucky pitch a fantasy fight between Pavlov's Dog and Shrodinger's Cat, and amusing to see Satchel's take on the whole thing. Who knew he'd get so emotional about something like this?

Skin Horse, 7/10/09:

After yesterday's initial encounter with this strip, I just had to see what happened. If the bald guy is some sort of megalomaniac, then I guess the whole poison thing makes a little more sense. I just wonder if he has some sort of motive to invade Alaska, and if those are his two best dogs, does that mean he has more dogs which are somehow worse? I guess only time will tell.

Well, there you have it folks. Here's a gratuitous plug for my website, and another for the forums which are shared by my site and the DCR. You should totally go make some friends, because everyone who posts on the forum is one bodacious dude (or radical dudette)!

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Get to Gettin While the Getting is Good

A little min-announcement to all our readers out there: this will be the last normal Wednesday for the DCR. We continue to grow around here and we will be welcoming a new contributor on the 21st. She is going to knock your socks off, I promise! On to the comic strips!

F Minus 1/14/09

They might lose some of the senior citizens who currently play, but you could almost guarantee the under 40 demographic in golf would explode if they added some new hazards. Fire pits, wild animals, REAL windmills, there is so much potential there!


Dennis the Menace 1/14/09

"He's right about that Dennis, I keep it all here in my 'man-pouch'."


In The Bleachers 1/14/09

Happy Humpday everybody! Find something that makes you laugh today, you're half way through the week already!

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The Thanksgiving Comic Strip Special 2008

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY! Instead of the usual comics review today I will bend these comic strips to my will so I can show what I am thankful for on this holiday week.

F-Minus 11/24/08 & 11/26/08


I give thanks for the great new humorists like Tony Carillo who make me laugh every day so that I can read all the bad comics and not hate the world for it. We need more new blood in the syndication print scene and not just on the web; if you appreciate their work as much as I do, send them emails and buy their books so they feel the love.


In The Bleachers 11/26/08

I'm thankful for football. It's gratuitously violent one moment and extraordinarily elegant the next. This has been another amazing year of college ball and it's not even over yet!


Lio 11/24/08

Cross-strip comics are another thing to be thankful for. The more horrible things Pearls Before Swine or Lio can manage to do to the Family Circus kids, the better. Cameos and practical jokes that cross from one strip to another may be easy pickings but low hanging fruit can be delicious too!


Judge Parker 11/24/08

I'm thankful for soap opera strip depictions of late night sexual liasons in hotel rooms. Oh wait that's not what's going on here? Then how about the way you can twist a single day of any soap strip to fit your own twisted purpose? That's the trick.


Gil Thorpe 11/25/08

Freedom of speech?


Basic Instructions 11/24/08

Cats? Yes I'm thankful for my noisy cats too. Of course I am also thankful for my wife, my family, health, my job - but how funny are those things?

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