Fatties, Spock, and Gaylords

I told Bryce there was no way I could do the Daily Comics Review each day: Full time job; Kids; Attractive wife; No way I can do it more than a couple times a week. Yet here I am posting again for the third straight day.  Can't help it, I read the funnies, and I have the addictive need to shoot off my big mouth. Good thing I have an addictive personality. 

DRABBLE by Kevin Fagan:

It's funny because Drabble is fat. He's gonna suffer from heart disease, diabetes, and other maladies because he's obese.  Ha, that's high humor.  Maybe he'll damage his kidneys or spleen by wearing his belt so tight. Hah-hah.  It's funny because he's constricting himself. Funny stuff. 

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BEN by Daniel Shelton

Ho-ho. Fat and old! They know how to tickle the funny bone today: impending death. Whoo-hoo.   Too bad there wasn't a job about how the old guy's stomach fat leads to impotence.  Then we'd have some real humor.

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CHUCKLE BROS by Brian & Ron Boychuk:

OK, inner Star Trek geek rage time: Mr. Spock, from Vulcan, is buying a relationship book about human men and women.  In a semi-modern 20th century bookstore.  Since Vulcans mate every seven years during Pon-Farr, and it is entirely non-logical biological function, why would he buy the book?  Do the comic creators assume he is Martian. Thus, he is from Mars. Therefore, he is looking to get freaky with a Venusian female?  He is not from Mars.  This makes no sense.  I repeat: Not. From. Mars. 

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BROOM HILDA by Russell Myers:

I remember this comic as a kid....it wasn't funny then either.  The joke is pretty lame.  Is Broom Hilda made up of tomato sauce, cheese, and a bread crust? NO. So she's not a pizza-based life form. But the fuzzy monster called the bird, Gaylord.  Back when I was a kid, gaylord was THE recess insult. As in, "look at that gaylord showing off on the jungle gym".  I know its a proper name (Hall of Fame pitcher Gaylord Perry), but its much funnier to think the fuzzy monster  doesn't like the bird and insults him to his face.  Heck, that's the only way this is funny.

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FLO AND FRIENDS: by Jenny Campbell

Deleting cookies.  Fat guy eating this Aunt's Christmas cookies on February 1st, when the cookies are about 6 weeks old.  Is the 3rd panel expressions due to the extreme wit or simply the fact that this joke was made 20 years ago and it wasn't funny then.  Cookies on a computer, ha-ha.  More importantly, why is prototypical early 80's punk girrl deleting her Aunt's cookie file?    Just what kind of websites is Auntie hanging out on that requires a cookie delete? Hmmm. I'm going with German porn.  

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Daily Comics Review Returns!

Hello! I'm Hal Bent, jumping in to rant and rave about the funny pages. Thank you for reading, and especially thanks to Bryce for letting me post here.  I may not be able to post daily, but I have years of repressed ranting at the daily comics.  I have been reading the site here at The Daily Comics Review  since the early days and am also a Comics Curmudgeon junkie. I grew up on the comics (or funnies as they were called in my house) and as an adult read them daily in the newspaper until admitting death of the industry and moving to my daily dose online. 

When not making inappropriate comments at comics on my computer, I write for my own sports blog (BostonSportPage.com) and recently joined another football-centric blog (Musketfire.com) and a fan of all things comics (newspaper comics, online comic books, collected comics, comic book guy, comic stores, free comics day, stand-up comics....seriously, put comic in the title somewhere and I’ll buy it).

I love the comics, love to write, and am glad to have the forum.  So, let me shut about the boring stuff (me) and move on to the good stuff (comics): 

This is 9 to 5 by Harley Schwadron, apparently work related.  I have worked in private and public industry for my entire adult life, and in no walk of life have I ever encountered a chart on the wall like the one over the CEO's head.  Industry growth? Competitor growth? Sales growth? Is this a failed dot-com showing that they once had sales and made a profit?  "We were great once! I'm gonna frame it and show anyone who comes in that we were cutting edge for three minutes."

Also, who doesn't change their vacation outfit when they come back to work?  I like the CEO's expression here as well, like employees wander around the office in bizarre outfits. He just asks "How was your vacation?" like nothing is out of the ordinary.  The joke? What happened in Vegas? Oh yeah. Ha-ha.  That was mildly entertaining ten years ago. Mildly.  Very mildly.

Monty by Jim Meddick has been around the comics pages for ages. Before being focused on the title character, a nerd/geek/goofball named Monty, it was called Robotman and Monty was a minor supporting character.  For some reason, they shot the robot back to his home planet or some goofy outcome, and started focusing on Monty.  After a few years, they bring in this robot character who looks kinda like Robotman.  Umm, what? He's not Robotman, but he's a robot-man.  

The ongoing story this week is some nonsense about the robot being overly attached to an ant farm.  This is a comic for people who miss Data from Star Trek TNG and need more than Star Trek fanfic to get them through a day on the Internet.  They miss Lt. Commander Data and his Pinocchio Quest to become human and not a machine. What a bunch of nerds! 

(God, I miss Data and Star Trek TNG.)

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Finally, we have Chuckle Bros by Brian and Ron Boychuk.  Umm, what the heck is that?  What does this sink have to do with a music artist not singing their own lyrics or lip syncing?  This is vaguely unwholesome looking to say the least.  

Milli Vanilli was 20 years ago.  How is this timely, relevant, or something that is understood by the general public?  Instead they present a sink that looks like a 13 year old boy's wet dream. Uggh.  The more I look at it the more I am creeped-out thinking of some poor sap looking at this in a newspaper while eating breakfast this morning. Unclean!

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Blackout Day

Lots of websites are blacking out today to protest SOPA and PIPA. In case you've lived in an internet free hole the past couple days, here's the info on that. Anyway, on to the comics review!

Candorville

R.I.P. Lemont Brown. He was last seen weaving erratically along HW 1, just north of Santa Barbara.

Chuckle Bros

Chuckle Bros actually made me chuckle today. I love that the bald guy is rubbing it in Mr. Six-Pack's face that his shallow emotional fulfillment is so much easier to obtain.

Cleats

That's quite a long explanation just to get to the punchline. Are there really leagues with those rules? Also, why does that kid's dad look like a mobster?

F Minus

ChickenNog would have made more sense for this joke, no?

Moderately Confused

Ug. I'm moderately confused by this comic. Is the second guy supposed to see a donut or something? The thing's made of stone, so I don't see how he could be thinking of food. Perhaps he isn't looking at the wheel at all, but rather sizing up his up his smug inventor friend. "Mmm... transportation make Ogg fat, lazy, and delicious!"

Okay, that's all for today. See you next week! That is, if SOPA and PIPA don't shut us down first.

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The Failed Marriage App

Barkeater Lake

Hahaha! Newspapers are dying, along with old acquaintances.

Betty

I predict this app will add a bit of turbulence to the marriage of this middle-aged couple. Though not so much of the "Hey! Why is Betty stopping by Tom and Vicky's house? Isn't Vicky visiting her mother in Houston this week? Dear God, how could she do this to me?!" variety, but rather we'll see the more pedestrian, "Betty knows my favorite dinner rolls are from the bakery downtown, so why the fuck is she going to the supermarket? How long has she been pulling this fast-one on me? That's it, no more post dinner foot rubs for her!"

Chuckle Bros

This would have been an awful joke when the song was a hit, 11 flippin' years ago! Now, it's simply unconscionable. Who do I petition for the immediate cancelation of this strip?

Cornered

Ug. Another outdated joke. Jim Carrey's wild slapstick humor also peaked 11 years ago.

Flo and Friends

First Treggie gives her grandma a girdle for Christmas, then she cheerfully exclaims she's going to return the gift given to her by that same grandma. I guess by "sensitive" Flo means, "horribly insensitive."

Herb and Jamaal

Ernie is also the name of the cab driver in It's a Wonderful Life. Nice little detail by Stephan Bentley, creator of this comic strip.

Off the Mark

Usually puns in the comics are awful, but this one is cute.

What the Duck

Another well executed pun. What gives?

Okay, that all for today. See you next year!

-Peter

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Wednesday Comics

R.I.P. Bil Keane, creator of Family Circus. Family Circus wasn't always everyone's cups of tea (especially for snarky comics bloggers), but it was remarkably consistent over the years in its portrayal of family life. I will admit that it did make me smile on occasion.

Andertoons

"But even that's mostly spam anymore." Huh? At first I thought the strip might have been an import and the weird grammar was the result of a poor translation, but then I looked up Mark Anderson and found out he lives in Chicago.

Ballard Street

I need to feature more Ballard Street in my review. It is one of the most mystifyingly strange comics out there. Sometimes it's brilliantly weird; often it's just baffling. Today is one of the baffling days. Though I do enjoy Monty's crazy-proud expression.

Candorville

Looks like someone forgot to color in the Star Trek logo on Lemont's shirt... Gah! I notice too much!

Chuckle Bros

Typical Chuckle Bros: a clever gag ruined by a clunky delivery and bad art.

The Doozies

With customers like this, how does Dippin' Dots go bankrupt? I guess that explains the perplexed look on the man's face in the first panel. He's thinking, "How could my insatiable desire to gorge myself on sweet treats not keep this business afloat? Must be criminal mismanagement."

Gasoline Alley

Why call him Clarence? Oh I don't know... maybe because that's his real name, and "Chubby" is a ridiculous moniker for a grown man to have.

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Nose puppets are weird.

Hey all. Time for some Wednesday comics review.

The Buckets

I don't want to destroy the mother's scholarship dreams, but the creative writing establishment generally looks down at that kind of pulpy sci-fi.

Agnes

I almost googled "Eastern Boogervian nose puppets" to see if it was a real thing, but then I

realized, "Oh yeah, 'booger-vian.'" Sigh. Sometimes it takes me a few seconds to get stuff.

In the Bleachers

It's a bit weird that Fitzpatrick is the name of a simpleton in this comic, especially considering now that Ryan Fitzpatrick, a Harvard graduate, is doing well for the Buffalo Bills.

Lola

I don't know about you, but I find cussing old ladies to be hilarious.

Birdbrains

This joke may have worked if not for the stupid faux-native name. "Farts-On-Crackers?" Really?

Chuckle Bros

Where the hell is everyone else at this convention? There's an open bottle of wine and two filled glasses at every table but no people! That's just creepy.

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Soy Vay!

Is there something about rain that makes people forget how to drive? I'm pretty sure (99%) that it has rained before and at least once while you were driving. Anyway, comics. And don't forget to visit my site.

Pibgorn

I saw a movie kind of like this one time. Only the woman with black hair was nude but Clint Howard was in it so this panel is about 88% accurate.

Luann

Ha! Teenage boys. Where romance=sex and not love and/or marriage. On the plus side, Gunther may be getting some. I bet he's a crier.

Chuckle Bros.

I'm a sucker for anything cemetery related but I was not impressed with this. Note to self and/or wife: Unless my last words change society in some way, do not put them on my tombstone.

Wee Pals

Unless you live on a farm, kids would not have a milk stand and these kids are clearly shown living in the suburbs so either Curly-Haired White Kid is pouring store-bought milk into glass jugs or he's reselling farm fresh milk he bought or stole. Also, what reason could there possibly be as to why this comic is three panels when two would do.

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Cat psychiatry

Today, two panels dealing with...  well, you'll see.  Also a couple more that don't deal with that.


Heathcliff:

...and how incredibly awesome it is, and how you need to grow it out more.  Unfortunately, to properly pull off the look, you will need to get a top hat, a monocle, or both.  A cowboy hat may also work, but then you'll need to get a fake sheriff badge as well.

Moderately Confused:

"Well, I've been continuously beaned by bricks since I was a small child, and I think it's messed with my head a bit.  I actually started to like it.  Yes.  I hate to say it, but...  I think I've developed a brick fetish.  So, yeah.  I think...  yeah, that's probably why they call me Krazy.

It could also be because that's my first name."

"Great, good.  Now, let's move on to your gender confusion..."

The Buckets:

Time to learn some tricks that don't involve the audience.  Or better yet, if you have an uncooperative audience, make sure that you have your magic death box with you, either the one that you can saw people in half with or the one you can stick a bunch of swords into.

Chuckle Bros.:

I could've guessed that in one note.  I mean, the first twang of the banjo just gives it away immediately.

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Jeepers, It's Commentary!

Hey there, cats and kittens. I'm back, and since I've actually been active over the past week, you can bet your sweet bippy that I'm going to plug the Meekrat Entertainment Group. You should go there and read not comic commentary, as the DCR is now pretty much the only place I comment upon comics, but web-comics and various fictions. Now then, the promised commentary:

We'll start off with my old nemesis, Girls and Sports:

Now, it's a given that I'll usually hate this comic. There's only one comic I hate more than this one, and I pretty much refuse to read that one. The question, then, is why do I hate this specific installment? For one, it's continuing with a series that started last Thursday, which was just messy and made me prone to hate it even more. Second, the recorder hate. Now, I'm not an expert on the triangle or anything, but I'm pretty sure that knowing how to play a recorder trumps knowing how to play a triangle. I realize that Marshall (a name to my enemy) is probably joking about his triangle skills, but how is that woman supposed to know it?

I think it all boils down to the fact that I hate Marshall, and I really don't think his tips are worth the bandwidth they're sent upon. Look at his smug face there in the title panel thing. Look at him. I hate him so much.

Zippy the Pinhead

Now, to lighten things up, Droopy Dog. I like Droopy. He's a class act, he is.

Soup to Nutz

I have no idea how I feel about this comic, as it's one of the many that I read and immediately forget about. Not today, though. I'm not sure if it's being serious about its hate of fourth-wall breaking (something that can be done well, but requires a good bit of skill to accomplish) but using Rat, Pig, and Lio as your straw-men? For shame!

Chuckle Brothers

I had to read this one once or twice before I realized what the supposed joke what, and figuring out brought me no chuckles whatsoever. It's just shameful, really.

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WHERE'S OUR RACETRACK!?

Okay, today, I took a different approach to my comics review. Normally, I come across a bunch that are stupid, and make fun of them for it.

Today, however, I found some comics that I actually found funny. So, why not share them? Right?

2 Cows and a Chicken (03.23.10)

This is actually a sequel from yesterday's comic... and, let me be the first to say, "Bravo" to the creator. This is funny stuff.

The Argyle Sweater (03.23.10)

Okay, so I cracked up at the first joke and smiled pretty good at the "mime trick" thing. I can't say no to a good Star Wars joke.

Barkeater Lake (03.21.10)

This one took me a few reads, but once I realized what was happening... it made me smile. I've done this to my dog (minus the conversation). After reading a few others of this comic... I like this guy.

Chuckle Bros (03.23.10)

Get it? Cause the robot has lights for eyes! Hahaha! Brilliant!

Cul de Sac (03.23.10)

Kids are honestly this particular, and this is hilarious. The look on the kid's face (the one in blue) is awesome.

The end.

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