Terrible Tuesday

by Hal Bent

Tuesdays are terrible. This Tuesday is particularly terrible because I had watch my hometown Boston Bruins blow game six of the Stanley Cup Finals against the Chicago Blackhawks and not force a game seven due to allowing two goals in the last two minutes of the game. It has nothing to do with comic strips, but explains why Tuesday is Terrible today.

Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau:

Oh look, here I am in the future....begging for support from far more successful children because I'm reduced to blogging for free...wait, did I say "Future"?

Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart:

So the Duke is supposed to be a character similar to Quagmire from the Family Guy cartoon on Fox (Or as part of Adult Swim on Cartoon Network if you are really a hipster or college student). But the Duke was wooing the ladies in the Wiz prior to Family Guy's existence.  Why doesn't the Wiz play this up in the comic?  Quagmire is popular. Family Guy is popular. Nothing interesting happens in the Wiz.  I can get into reading about the Duke having some far-out Quagmire type adventures each week in the name of popularity, marketing, and spin-offs.  Oh, Speed Dating. Funny...in the 1980's. 

Tank McNamara by Bill Hinds:

So, this comic was put into production before the Aaron Hernandez/Homicide news broke and made everyone in New England say "Who?" in regards to Tim "Old News" Tebow.  Much props to Bill Hinds for attempting to be timely, since there is probably a week or two of time to gear up the strips prior to printing.

Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson:

If she's wishing for a three-way, this just became the best comic strip in publication.  Oh wait, Webcomics Wednesday is tomorrow...that is definitely not happening!  Whatever it is, it can be guaranteed not to be that interesting!

*

That's all, folks. Have the best second Monday that you can!

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Shorties

I don't have much to say today. So here you go.

Rip Haywire

Huh. Guess the guy really is a vampire. Is he really a shape-shifter, though?

Momma

The only way this joke works is if Momma sounds exactly like her son's wife. If that's the case, well, that's all sorts of creepy.

Luann

I've never heard of anyone going fragrance shopping, and it sounds like something out of a dystopian sci-fi novel.

Girls and Sports

I'm sure this is funny to someone. I, for one, hate it.

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One After 666

The previous post was the 666th post. Not even a passing reference to the number of the Beast or heavy metal or anything. I am very disappointed. Anyway, here's my two cents about some comics or something.

Rip Haywire

I don't keep up with this strip nearly as much as I should (it's a good strip) so I have no idea if Western Santa (not to be confused with Cowboy Santa) is just using colorful descriptors, or if this Chico de Gallow person is, actually, a shape-shifting vampire. Which is odd, as most all vampires are shape-shifters to some degree. Can this specific vampire change into other things, if vampire he be? Color me intrigued.

F Minus

A walk-in toaster is Silver Age evil scientist fodder. In fact, I can't think of it being used for anything other than trying to toast up superheroes and and secret agents.

Girls and Sports

Well, I can't find anything else I really want to comment on, so back to the Girls and Sports well. The girl's pose in the third panel is just bizarre. I get what he was trying to go for, but really, it just looks like she's sitting on an invisible chair. I can vouch for the right field thing, though. Nothing ever happens out there.

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Untapped Potential

Hey there, folks. As it turns out, web-comics are in my juridstiction for review on this site. And I read a bunch of the blasted things, so when I see one I want to put up here I'm going to. I promise I won't just keep putting my comics up. Even though today's is double-sized and you should read it. Anyway, here we go:

Prickly City, 01/22/10

I usually don't like Prickly City, because the art is terrible and it's one of the most stupidly political comics ever, but this past week, it's cared about its art and the storyline (recapped in the first panel) is all right. I especially like Lizard-Girl's gung-ho attitude towards fighting crime conflicting with Cactus Coyote's attitude as to what constitutes "good" or "evil". It hasn't been too bad, and it's a shame that next week will be back to the same old garbage it usually is.

New Adventures of Queen Victoria, 01/22/10

Leno is quite a scary person. I'm mainly putting this up for Conan's line in panel four. How he's been put into the panel and everything is just really well-done.

Rip Haywire, 01/22/10

That kid could fit through the bars with no trouble. In fact, with bars that thin, I don't think they'd have any trouble bending them, even. Unlike the bars used in my comic. You couldn't escape those in a hurry.

Mike Luckovich, 01/22/10

I am already so freaking tired of this song. I'd be tired of it even if a friend hadn't texted me the lyrics every single day this week. I want this song to go away and never, ever return.

Rubes, 01/22/10

I don't think he's cocky as much as he is insane, and that is a very large leap to make for a pun.

Shark Attack Comics, 01/22/10

This comic, on the other hand, is genius. It features a shark messing with some guy in every installment. It's a new take on a classic tale. Also, sometimes the shark wears a hat or a wig or glasses, and it's more amazing than you'd think. Go take a look.

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Copy-Cats and Whatnot

Well, I have thirteen comics today. However, most of them have just been chosen because they're pretty much identical to each other. For example:

BEAVERS LIKE TO EAT WOOD!
The Argyle Sweater and Ziggy, 7/10/09

I think it's important to note that beavers don't actually eat wood. Cartoonists, obviously, don't realize this.

ANIMALS ARE TOO STUPID TO REALIZE WE SLAUGHTER THEM TO MAKE THINGS!
In the Bleachers and Farcus, 7/10/2009

This one is probably true, however. Also, who would let hoofed animals work on an assembly line? Really now, there's suspended disbelief, and then there's straight-up shooting belief in the back of the head and letting its corpse float downriver to scare children.

BAD PAINTING GO IN THE CLOSET!
Moose and Molly and Pickles, 7/10/2009


I'm glad they're just sort of inventing cliches at this point. We definitely need more of those to replace the old worn-out ones.

Of course, in addition to the above comics, we have three strips featuring appearances by the cast of Zits. One of them is Zits, of course:
Zits, Rip Haywire, and Moderately Used 7/10/2009



I'm sure there's some reason for this that's unknown to me, but it's still sort of weird seeing these characters in all three comics. Also, I was wondering when they were coming out with that issue of Archie. I'm serious about that. I'm not going to read it, but I do like knowing that it's out.

Then we have some random comics:
Mary Worth, 7/10/09:

Mary Worth is so angry that she's actually using PHYSICAL FORCE to meddle. Look at her. This is the angriest I've ever seen the woman. She looks like she's some sort of action hero whisking away the damsel in distress, when in reality she's just a meddlesome old lady. That woman, though, is just asking to me hit on in that stunning yellow combo of shirt which covers nothing, fishnet stockings, and heels. Rawr.

Ted Rall, 7/10/09:

If you told me that today was the day I'd see a cartoon featuring the President calling a bunch of people fags, then I'd just look at you and say, "So? What do I care?" Then again, he could just be answering the group's question. In any case, why is he using that word at all? Is this a reference to some sort of news thing I missed? Is the President vaguely homophobic? Why am I thinking so much about this stupid cartoon?

Get Fuzzy, 7/10/09:

Shrodinger's Cat is one of my favorite hypothetical experiments, and it's nice to see it get some love. It's also nice to see Bucky pitch a fantasy fight between Pavlov's Dog and Shrodinger's Cat, and amusing to see Satchel's take on the whole thing. Who knew he'd get so emotional about something like this?

Skin Horse, 7/10/09:

After yesterday's initial encounter with this strip, I just had to see what happened. If the bald guy is some sort of megalomaniac, then I guess the whole poison thing makes a little more sense. I just wonder if he has some sort of motive to invade Alaska, and if those are his two best dogs, does that mean he has more dogs which are somehow worse? I guess only time will tell.

Well, there you have it folks. Here's a gratuitous plug for my website, and another for the forums which are shared by my site and the DCR. You should totally go make some friends, because everyone who posts on the forum is one bodacious dude (or radical dudette)!

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A Friday Without A Boss

As you may have heard, Bryce is gone today, so you get me instead. I hope you are enjoying your Friday the 13th as much as I am. I walked under a ladder, behind a black cat, and shattered a mirror this morning. But it's okay because I knocked on some wood and threw some salt over my shoulder.

Isn't weird how our supposedly religious culture has all these stupid superstitions that go against everything modern religion teaches?

Cow & Boy 2/13/09 Ah, yes. I remember when all we had to fear was being melted by radiation and being taken over by the Reds. Those were the days.


Flo & Friends 2/13/09
Who here really believes that Friday the 13th is a day when bad things happen? How about 7 years of bad luck after breaking a mirror?

Well, if any of you said yes to those questions let me tell you this: you are an idiot. Bad things happen every day, a plane crashed last night. Does that mean that Thursday the 12th is an unlucky day? No, it means that something shitty happened, get over it.

As for mirrors, I don't know why you would think that. Mirrors break all the time and we're not all having bad luck. Wait, maybe that's why the economy sucks, the Wallstreet guys were breaking mirrors for fun and now we're all screwed for 7 years!


Graffiti 2/13/09
This is actually a good question. I don't have an answer except that it is the time when most everybody is asleep.



Ferd'nand 2/13/09
So the joke is that the bum is pissed that Ferd'nand gave him a small amount of money before getting into a private car. I would say the bum has no right to be angry, he should be glad Ferd'nand didn't kick him like most rich people would.



Rip Haywire 2/13/09

I had such high hopes for this strip when it first started. But is seems to have gone into a tailspin of lame jokes, like just about every other comic strip.




I do enjoy the LEAP! sound effect. It's as if the guy is screaming it as he jumps.

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The First Saturday of the Rest of Our Lives

Welcome to yet another Saturday and the first weekend with Big Brot.....I mean Barack Obama leading the way. It's been less than a week and he's fixed all our problems already.

Wait, we still have problems? NOOO!!! Obama said it would be different now, he said it would all change!! Why!! Why did I believe him? OhhBama, why have you forsaken us?

What's that? You say I should give him a chance? He needs more than four days? Well, I guess that sounds reasonable. Okay, I'll give him a little more time, but only because you say so; if he doesn't fix things soon, I'm coming after you instead.

Well, let's get to comics and leave all this political stuff for another day. Bryce only had one, one, recommendation this week so the others are my own choices, can you guess which was his choice and which were mine?


Rip Haywire 1/20/09
Wow, gripped by a grippe. Get it? Cause I didn't, I had to look up what grippe meant. Turns out it's an old word for influenza. See that means it's funny cause he might have a life-threating illness, those are always funny.

It's also funny because his dog is a pussy. Get it? See, the dog is really a coward. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Wow, this strip is disappointing so far, I hope it gets better so it sticks around.


Frazz 1/20/09
How are those two things related? Christmas is actually a religous holiday, even though it really isn't(you can do your own research about that). Inauguration day shouldn't be a holiday because it only happens every four years. We have to go to work or school on Leap Day and Voting Day so why should Inauguration day be special. The fact that a black is president isn't a reason for a holiday, I have a feeling that it will become more and more common.

Women ain't ever gettin' in the White House though. Sorry ladies.


F-Minus 1/23/09
Just what is she planning to do? I certainly don't know what you would do with a large CENSORED sign. Perhaps she is planning to be in the studio audience of some unknown TV show and wants to make sure that she is properly equiped in case of unanticipated nudity. Personally, I would make sure I had tear away pants, but to each their own.

Have you figured out which was Bryce's comic? Too bad if you haven't because I'm not telling. Bryce might tell you if you ask real nice but by then you'll have forgotten this entire day.

Well, that's another week down. Maybe the webcomic of the week will be up sometime today, so look for that later.

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