Friday Funnies

by Hal Bent

Happy Friday, I know I need a chuckle or three after a long work week. Of course, the humor is more likely  to be the snark humor after reading unfunny after unfunny comic. 


Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart:

It's funny because...umm, oh wait, it's not funny at all.  He is too dumb to go to the supermarket? He thinks canned fish live that way in the wild?  Is this a scathing denouncement of the American educational system that lags behind other nations in teaching science? This is really not humor, but commentary on America and it's role as a lagging superpower? No, I guess, it's just not funny.


Ben by Daniel Shelton:

Nothing funny at all about this comic.  I think this is a primer for the elderly readers (I'd say "fans", but are there any people who consider themselves "Ben fans"?  I imagine if I looked like the character, I might find it kind of a big deal, but otherwise...).  "How to unload your horrible junk in a yard sale since you cannot figure out eBay to save your life" is likely what the creator had in mind when writing and drawing this turd, I mean unfunny crap, I mean comic. 


Flo and Friends by Jenny Campbell:

Not to get all off-topic or anything, but when I was in college, I barely made over minimum wage, had no savings, no credit, was working to pay for school, movies and dates with my Sweetie-Pie, gas, groceries, and lots of beer, and somehow was pre-approved for a couple hundred credit cards.  I would sign up for the cards on my way between classes because they lured you in with a giant bag of Peanut M&Ms and that would be my free lunch for the day.  Paid for all those M&Ms later in life when I tried to buy our first house (bank didn't like all those credit cards in my shoebox under the bed) and being diagnosed with diabetes.


Last Kiss by John Lustig:

Bwahh-hahhh-hahhhh! As usual, Last Kiss steps up with some real humor. I am finally content with the comics this Friday with actually found a funny!

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Fast Clocks and Useless Librarians

Adam@Home

A lot of people like to play this little trick on themselves; it isn't so unusual.  My question is why, after so many years of marriage, are they just arguing about this now?  Also, why is Adam the one setting clocks ahead?  He's the one that works from home, it's not like he needs to be anywhere.

Barney & Clyde

 Harold has no sense of humor, but he must at least have some sense of irony, judging from his ridiculous flat-top hair cut.

Betty

A smoke break? Guess who's getting laid off next for raising the insurance premiums, spending too much time outside, and for having bad breath? Mr. Squiggle-Hair, that's who!  Say, that's a nice pocket protector you've got there, is it company issued?

Diamond Lil

Just what I needed to read about in the comics this afternoon:  promiscuous old ladies with weird rashes.  Ug.  It cannot be unread.

Farcus

This comic poses several of unanswered questions.  Since when is a title not enough to locate a book?  Why does a priest need to check out the Bible from the library?  He already should have lots of his own copies.  And lastly, why is this comic funny? Dumb librarians must be hysterical, I guess.

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Enslave the Mollusk

After a whole week to remember that it's Monday... SUCCESS!

(and if you really want to, there's totally a new comic up at The Underfold.)

Betty (03.08.10)

Maybe it's his nose. I've stared at it for an hour now, and it's really messed up. Oh, and learn to do your own laundry you worthless piece of crap. Gosh.

Ben (03.08.10)

In a strange series of events, this retard just saved his own life. At the precise moment of the ZAP in panel 3, the old man was having a heart attack. Problem solved. Lucky old man.

Big Nate (03.08.10)

What the heck is up with the timeline and background? Not to mention the kid in green is all Beetlejuice-head-spinning.

On a separate note... I would totally listen to a band called Enslave the Mollusk.

Candorville (03.08.10)

Yeah well, the thug in the Star Trek shirt is really looking like a cool guy. So, suck it, P. Diddy, before that huge pirate kills everyone.

Farcus (03.08.10)

There's two things wrong with this committee. 1.) They're not all white, 2.) One's an appendage-less woman...

Just saying.

Cow and Boy (03.08.10)

What's a kid that talks to a cow in the middle of a farm going to do with a pirate ship? Who am I kidding? He's right. Who of us couldn't do more with a pirate ship?

It's over. Get to work.

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Hey everyone out there in comic strip land.

Ha, half an hour to spare! I spend a lot of this post talking directly to the comic strips, their creators, or characters within the comic strips. Tomorrow I am probably doing something foolishly complicated, so be sure to be here!

Ballard Street, 10/8/09

I don't know which one is Benny, but I'm willing to guess it's not the one whose head is smeared against a wall. You don't mess with Benny and live to tell the tale.

Farcus, 10/8/09

Dear comic strip people,

Please don't do anymore jokes where a character is at "Mom's Diner" and the waitress is actually acting like their mother. "Ziggy" has done it to death, and I don't think it's been funny since the first time you did it, and it probably wasn't that funny even then. Thank you.

Mike Podgorski

The Lockhorns, 10/8/09

Leroy, I say this not as someone who actually cares about your well-being at all, but as a concerned member of the human race and comic strip blogging community (which you should really e-mail me about joining if you've got a comic strip blog) who detests you and your wife and your stale antagonistic antics: if you're getting up to go to the bathroom five times a night, there's something wrong. Seek help immediately.

Andy Capp, 10/8/09

Why not just take one long nap, Andy Capp? By the way, your fries are pretty good.

Flight Deck and Close to Home, 10/8/09

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH LIVING WITH YOUR PARENTS, COMIC STRIPS. ESPECIALLY IF IT'S FOR FINANCIAL REASONS. WE CANNOT ALL BE SUCCESSFUL CARTOONISTS WITH MONEY BINS AND GOLDEN YACHTS LIKE YOU. IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A LOSER. SO SCREW YOU.

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Copy-Cats and Whatnot

Well, I have thirteen comics today. However, most of them have just been chosen because they're pretty much identical to each other. For example:

BEAVERS LIKE TO EAT WOOD!
The Argyle Sweater and Ziggy, 7/10/09

I think it's important to note that beavers don't actually eat wood. Cartoonists, obviously, don't realize this.

ANIMALS ARE TOO STUPID TO REALIZE WE SLAUGHTER THEM TO MAKE THINGS!
In the Bleachers and Farcus, 7/10/2009

This one is probably true, however. Also, who would let hoofed animals work on an assembly line? Really now, there's suspended disbelief, and then there's straight-up shooting belief in the back of the head and letting its corpse float downriver to scare children.

BAD PAINTING GO IN THE CLOSET!
Moose and Molly and Pickles, 7/10/2009


I'm glad they're just sort of inventing cliches at this point. We definitely need more of those to replace the old worn-out ones.

Of course, in addition to the above comics, we have three strips featuring appearances by the cast of Zits. One of them is Zits, of course:
Zits, Rip Haywire, and Moderately Used 7/10/2009



I'm sure there's some reason for this that's unknown to me, but it's still sort of weird seeing these characters in all three comics. Also, I was wondering when they were coming out with that issue of Archie. I'm serious about that. I'm not going to read it, but I do like knowing that it's out.

Then we have some random comics:
Mary Worth, 7/10/09:

Mary Worth is so angry that she's actually using PHYSICAL FORCE to meddle. Look at her. This is the angriest I've ever seen the woman. She looks like she's some sort of action hero whisking away the damsel in distress, when in reality she's just a meddlesome old lady. That woman, though, is just asking to me hit on in that stunning yellow combo of shirt which covers nothing, fishnet stockings, and heels. Rawr.

Ted Rall, 7/10/09:

If you told me that today was the day I'd see a cartoon featuring the President calling a bunch of people fags, then I'd just look at you and say, "So? What do I care?" Then again, he could just be answering the group's question. In any case, why is he using that word at all? Is this a reference to some sort of news thing I missed? Is the President vaguely homophobic? Why am I thinking so much about this stupid cartoon?

Get Fuzzy, 7/10/09:

Shrodinger's Cat is one of my favorite hypothetical experiments, and it's nice to see it get some love. It's also nice to see Bucky pitch a fantasy fight between Pavlov's Dog and Shrodinger's Cat, and amusing to see Satchel's take on the whole thing. Who knew he'd get so emotional about something like this?

Skin Horse, 7/10/09:

After yesterday's initial encounter with this strip, I just had to see what happened. If the bald guy is some sort of megalomaniac, then I guess the whole poison thing makes a little more sense. I just wonder if he has some sort of motive to invade Alaska, and if those are his two best dogs, does that mean he has more dogs which are somehow worse? I guess only time will tell.

Well, there you have it folks. Here's a gratuitous plug for my website, and another for the forums which are shared by my site and the DCR. You should totally go make some friends, because everyone who posts on the forum is one bodacious dude (or radical dudette)!

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Monday Comics Fest

Why yes I had a fantastic time at Stumptown Comics Fest over the weekend, thanks for asking! I met some very nice creators who I will give props to at a later time and it was great to see all the freaks and weirdos who go to big public events like that. It's good to feel normal, if only on the outside.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal 4/20/09

If web comic creators were to rule the world, Macatacahodo 360's would be the official party food, lots of good ideas would be awkwardly implemented, and existence as a whole would be a lot quirkier. There would be a lot more alcoholics too.


Farcus 4/20/09

There have been a few examples so far this month where people were saying "God that was awful, why didn't he save it until the end of the month contest?" Oh just you wait! A bird, that is purple, with a ribbon around it's neck? If you don't know what one looks like, or how to draw a parakeet, don't just draw an impossibly colored chicken. We need a new term for people who are SO LAZY they wont even look on Google to find something out. I hope nothing else happens that is this bad again or I am going to snap, I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE TODAY!


Wizard of Id 4/20/09

"You just get on your computer, go on their convenient website FWizardofID.com, and they will drive to your house in their truck, scan your package in, and deliver it to me. God I'm such an advertising whore. Oh wait, none of that shit exists yet, I'm in a comic that's supposed to be set in the middle-ages! At least I still have this handgun ::BLAM::


Sherman's Lagoon 4/20/09

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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