I Love Meat!

Agnes

"Date Aid?"  So Trout's mom has a visible box of sex toys on her nightstand.  Gross.

Baldo

I guess it breaks Tia Carmen's heart that Baldo is a slob that doesn't bother to throw his trash away.

The Duplex

Is it just me, or does Eno's date exclaim "I love meat" a little too enthusiastically in panel 2?

Herb and Jamaal

"Herb would you hold me close right now?"

"Not now because I just unclogged a doozy in the bathroom toilet.  I've got shit all over me."

"But I've had a hard day; I really need it right now."

"I know, but I really need to go home and shower first."

"Then can you tell me when is the next time I can feel your embrace?"

"Tonight."

Shoe

Um... yeah... not the best thing to tell a costumer that just sat down.  Also, what a very strange thing to ask.  If you're seven years old and writing a report for school about restaurants then maybe that might be an appropriate question.

Read more...

Dirty M&M's

Agnes

So Agnes is a cruel, sadistic child that tortures and murders helpless ants? Sounds about right.

The Argyle Sweater

Ick. That Super Bowl commercial was disturbing enough. I don't want to know what the green M&M myth is. You all can look it up if you want, just don't tell me.

The Flying McCoys

This is a very odd scene. The artist apparently thought these gentlemen needed to be crazy (straight-jacket, padded room crazy at that) for the gag to work. I think it distracts if anything. Too many unanswered questions. (Why is a hard metal object allowed in an otherwise padded room? How did he draw a face on the trophy if his arms are bound?) The man bringing his new bride to his quiet suburban home in front of two gossiping neighbors probably would have been funnier.

Lola

Ack! Another example of M&M love! I used to like them too. Sigh.

Love Is

"Paralyzed from the waist down you say? Need special care and attention for the rest of your life? Okay, how about I just wheel you over to this corner and be on my way?"

The Grizzwells

So their job is to hang out in the woods and do nothing? I always thought it odd that the bear and porcupine talked frequently about their jobs, yet never seemed to go. Little did I know that they have been at work this whole time.

Read more...

Leap Year

Happy Leap Year! Time for some comics review!

Agnes

Uh... it's every four years. Since Trout seems to know so much about this day, you'd think she'd be aware of that.

Alley Oop from 2/27/11

For the last time: THEIR DRESSES ARE TWO DISTINCT COLORS! Differentiating the two requires only a minuscule amount of memorization. Or if you can't see color, the shoulder strap of one dress is on the left, the other is on the right. Okay, no more excuses.

Bob the Squirrel

My vote is for "February Supreme."

Brevity

"Last!"?? You can't have a "last" comment. Does anyone do that? Someone would just comment right after. A "first" comment would have been more true to life. TECHNOLOGY JOKE FAIL!

Broom Hilda

Looks like the maître d' should be the one more familiar with the concept of eating for three.

Rose is Rose

Are there actually any leap year celebrations out in the world? No so much of a holiday per se, as just an extra day. Though perhaps it should be.

Read more...

No Mountain View

Happy Wednesday everyone! Let us commence with the comics review...

Agnes

I can relate to this comic as I happen to live in a city named Mountain View. There's no mountain nearby.

Tank McNamara

I don't understand the football action in this strip at all. Jerome Simpson looks like he's just casually standing around. Either the creators of this strip don't watch football or they're incapable of drawing someone running. Both situations would be weird since this comic is primarily about sports.

The Grizzwells

Never mind the wretched pun... the bear and the porcupine both have jobs?! All the characters ever do in this comic is sit around on logs and set each other up for groan-inducing wordplay. Okay, that's not entirely true... sometimes they casually stroll through the forest and and set each other up for groan-inducing wordplay.

F Minus

Usually when people hold up pants it's to show how much weight they've lost, not gained. I think the joke could have worked from that angle too... since the joke seems to be that the guy on the right is a dick.

Bob the Squirrel

Bob the Squirrel has been talking about ending for weeks now. Just do it or don't do it already! Stop dragging it out. If this is an attempt to get all your fans to make a clamor for you to keep going, I have news: no one cares!

The Argyle Sweater

With Christmas less than a week away, here is a holiday themed comic for you all to enjoy! It's a bit disturbing, but funny still. Though I think the joke would have a bit more punch if the comic was entirely wordless. The jingle doesn't contribute that much.

That's all for me this week. Merry Christmas!

Read more...

Happy (Porcupine) Hump Day!

Big Nate

Ah, it's funny because Mrs. Godfrey is DIS-couraging Nate's passion for having Gina shut the fuck up.

Candorville

Let me get this straight... Lemont is saying that, unlike Jobs with Apple, these other companies' founders are useless deadweight, and if their the shareholders could get away with offing them somehow they'd probably go through with it? Um... okay...

Agnes

Agnes finds the whole human race repulsive and a blight on the Earth. Guess who is brewing the next super virus in her basement?

The Grizzwells

Big rock... Charlie Sheen... Did the Grizzwells just make a cocaine reference? Either that or Pierpoint likes to hump an actual rock. And this comes just after last week's strip, where we learned that the rabbit gets turned on by tortoise-hare action. Kids, don't go hiking anywhere near this forest.

In the Sticks

That bear thing doesn't need a costume, he's already dressed a little like Han Solo.

Rubes

I'll end with another example of anthropomorphic animals acting sick and depraved. Ah comics... you make the animal kingdom a truly disturbing place.

Read more...

Nose puppets are weird.

Hey all. Time for some Wednesday comics review.

The Buckets

I don't want to destroy the mother's scholarship dreams, but the creative writing establishment generally looks down at that kind of pulpy sci-fi.

Agnes

I almost googled "Eastern Boogervian nose puppets" to see if it was a real thing, but then I

realized, "Oh yeah, 'booger-vian.'" Sigh. Sometimes it takes me a few seconds to get stuff.

In the Bleachers

It's a bit weird that Fitzpatrick is the name of a simpleton in this comic, especially considering now that Ryan Fitzpatrick, a Harvard graduate, is doing well for the Buffalo Bills.

Lola

I don't know about you, but I find cussing old ladies to be hilarious.

Birdbrains

This joke may have worked if not for the stupid faux-native name. "Farts-On-Crackers?" Really?

Chuckle Bros

Where the hell is everyone else at this convention? There's an open bottle of wine and two filled glasses at every table but no people! That's just creepy.

Read more...

Not your mother's lemonade stand.

Hello, Peter here again, bringing you comics review for Wednesday, August 24, which happens to be my mother's birthday. Happy Birthday, Mom!

Will I manage to keep my comments today mom-appropriate instead of the usual crassness? Let's find out!

Andy Capp

Is the banker supposed to look like Hitler?

Agnes

Whoa, $15.00? That's a tad overpriced. A latte-lemondade blend is rather disgusting, though not as disgusting as...

Birdbrains

The concurrence of themes in the comics is always a curious phenomenon. Two strips featuring lemonade stands is not itself unusual (it's a pretty common setup in the summertime), but Agnes and Birdbrains take the age-old children's moneymaker to sickening new levels. At least Dorkins' waste water is more reasonably priced than Agnes' concoction.

Brewster Rockit

That first panel summarizes Rise of the Planet of the Apes quite nicely. I don't have anything bad to say about this strip. Sometimes it's nice to share the consistently funny Brewster Rockit. Plus, I like donuts—not to eat, but as symbolism-rich pieces of Americana. Yeah, I'm weird.

Real Life Adventures

I thought making awkward, lame jokes was part of being a normal dad.

Barney and Clyde

Uh.. camouflage comes in different varieties now. It seems unlikely that these guys would be seeing two soldiers wearing that particular pattern. Maybe those are civilians in costume, maybe this strip takes place in another time or place, or maybe this is just a lame setup by a lazy cartoonist.

Momma

Uh.. job listings are almost exclusively online now. I should know. Sigh.

Okay, I've made it through a whole post without cussing. Though I did feature a strip that depicted the aftermath of drinking human waste, so I guess my efforts to be mom-freindly today were a wash. Oh well.

Read more...

Hmm, it appears that my DCR writer friends have forgotten to post the past couple of days.  It also seems that I have forgotten to post on Saturday.  I have no excuse.  On with the comic blurbs.

Marvin:

Old yearbooks can be a source of endless entertainment.  I enjoyed looking at my dad's old high school yearbook.  Oddly enough, he looked like Paul from "The Wonder Years." Yes, nerdy and with big, thick glasses.  Actually, now that I think about it, it's kind of sad.

F-Minus:

Yes!  And we'll give it better seats, with backs, and change the handlebars for a wheel...  Oh, and of course, only one side will be able to steer.  It would also probably be more efficient to take the engines out of the cycles and just put one in front.  Oh, wouldn't it be great if it had more than two seats?  And a trunk in the back to put stuff in?  And it will have to have a radio, and some A/C and heat.  Oh!  And cup holders.  Can't forget those.  When it rains, there will need to be some way to wipe the glass on the front of it...

Yes, it will be great!  We'll call it a "car."

Snuffy Smith:

...even though Snuffy's obviously been in there longer than you have.  Only three days, though.  Hey, where'd they get those pens from, anyway?  Aren't they supposed to scratch the marks into the wall?  Prisons are so cushy these days.

Deflocked:

That's disgusting.  I wouldn't give this kid any candy if I saw him coming up to my door.  Well...  maybe I would, but not if he was one of those greedy kids who didn't even say "thank you" after you give them something.  I don't have to give you anything, you know.

Speaking of Iron Man, I went as him once.  Of course, I just put an ironing board on my back and carried around an iron, but I was still Iron Man.

Agnes:

Unfortunately, not only does the metaphor not work, it isn't even a metaphor.  He used "like," which makes it a simile.  If he said "The mind is a sock drawer," it would be a metaphor.

So, next week, we discuss the differences between allegories, parables, and fables.  Don't be late!

Read more...

Yep, it's Monday.  Hopefully there's some comic blurbs in here that will cheer you up on the depressing beginning of your new week.

Big Nate:
 

Yes, it certainly begins early, doesn't it?  Young boys justify their drawing of scantily clad women by saying "It's my comic book!  I'm gonna be a comic book artist!" Only a small fraction of them actually become comic book artists, and fortunately only a fraction of those draw comics with a number of panels featuring "just one big butt." The majority of them live in Japan.

Wizard of Id:

This is why the rule in golf is to yell "fore" prior to swinging the club, and not after, so that people can look out for the ball and not get hit by it.  In the meantime, the king ought to begin training an army of elite golf soldiers.  I bet they could take out quite a few people.

F-Minus:

Oh, but that IS sheep's clothing.  Don't you know that sheep these days are only wearing the finest designer suits?

Agnes:

Can someone from Eastern Europe tell me if this is a real thing, and if so, if it's actually a popular snack?  It sounds odd, to say the least.  That's just the type of esoteric humor you expect from Agnes.

B.C.:

Awesome.  The wolf became a porcupine.  Hopefully they use the spiky wolf in the future.  It could be highly dangerous, and highly amusing.

Read more...