Monday Odds and Ends.....

Matt here. Nothing like a Monday morning at O'Hare Airport to make one appreciate.... ummm ..... not sure what one appreciates at O'Hare Airport. Anyways, on to the funnies:

Baby Blues

Darryl, c'mon. You can do better than that. Unless "Shoulder Massage" is a euphemism for something else in the Baby Blues household.

Curtis

Despite the pains that Ray Billingsley took to make this accurate, it still fails on the "Google it" challenge. Basically, the ice hotel itself is called the Sorrisniva Igloo Hotel. There is no town called Sorrisniva, Norway. The hotel is in Alta, Norway. Anyways, I had more fun reading about Alta and the hotel than I did reading this comic strip.

Hi and Lois

I do like the coloring of daily comics, but for heaven's sake why is the floor black? Or does this mean that Hi and Lois are demons cast out of Hades and perform ceremonies while their kids are asleep? That would explain the passive/aggressive look on the baby's face.

Beetle Bailey

Sigh. Beetle Bailey has been really, really awful the past few months and this is no exception. First, jumping first has no bearing on opening a parachute first. One can jump first but still not open a parachute first. Second, I always disliked forced answers to questions. Sarge asked, are you ready to jump. He should have asked, who wants to jump first and it makes Beetle's answer better. Third, oh hell. There is no third other than I hate this strip.

Dennis the Menace

Before even reading the text of this comic, I knew that something was going on. I'd love to see what Alice's (is that the mom's name) expression is as it can't be good. And who is this person? Is she a babysitter? A friend? Someone they found on Craigslist for a three-way?

Funky Winkerbean

I hate lazy cartooning. Look at these three panels carefully. Let's use coach as the focal point and take his stance of facing forward. The reporter in panel 1 is to the left of coach and in front. In panel 2, he is to the left of coach and in front. In panel 3, he is to the right of coach and a bit behind him. What did he do? Some kind of quick jog around coach to get a different shot. ARRRGGGHHHH......make it stop! Oh, and the "joke" is horrible also.

Sally Forth

I work in HR and people don't just bring HR in and say "cut 40 people from our staff". That is a strategic decision and usually involves all lines of business and they debate and come up with an answer and THEN tell HR who they want to cut. But I guess that's too sophisticated for this new storyline.

That's all for now. Please comment if you enjoy any part of this. We feed off of any kind of discussion and always good to know if anyone is reading. Thanks!

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On Katzenjammer

There are a lot of strips out there that should've came to an end years ago. Typically it's because their original creator has passed away and the strip is only a shadow of its former self. Very rarely do strips make a rebound after hitting a low point. We're used to see so-called "Legacy strips" just languish on the vine because comic strips polls in newspapers are mainly filled out by older people who like their comics to remain the same and don't understand why that Mouse is so mean to that cute pig. Typically, sooner or later a strips get what it deserves and is sent off to the comic strips graveyard where comic strips enthusiasts and historians can determine if the strip can hold up to other generations. But what if that strip is 114 years old and shows no sign of ending? The Katzenjammer Kids started in 1897 and continues to this day. When its creator, Rudolph Dirks, wanted a vacation after 15 years, The New York Journal refused to let him go. Dirks left anyway and the Journal replaced him with Harold Knerr. Dirks sued the Journal for his creation and in 1914 was granted permission to continue the strip he created, just with a different title. So from 1914 until 1979, Dirks (and later his son John Dirks) wrote and illustrated The Captain and the Kids. They were essentially the same comic strips just owned by different syndicates.

I bring this up because I've read the recent strips. The Katzenjammer Kids is only syndicated to about 50 newspapers and magazines and its current creator, Hy Eisman (who also does the Popeye Sunday strip), is pushing 90. When Eisman decides to call it quits, will The Kids fade into the comic strips graveyard or will King Features keep it going just continue having the longest-running, still-in-syndication newspaper comic strip in the world?

Here is today's strip which I feel is actually better than some of the other strips I've read.

Daddy's Home

The thought of President Obama stealing someone's wallet and watch made me chuckle.

Baby Blues

I read in OK! Magazine that the Kardashian sisters grocery shop like Zoe and Hammie.

Get Fuzzy

Get Fuzzy lately has been pretty hit and miss. At least they still have the occasional strip (like this one) that can still get me to laugh.

Momma

Now, his face indicates that he is awake and just thinking this but I think he is actually dreaming and Mell just forgot that Francis was dreaming. Either way, it's pretty pathetic that Francis sucks at women both in his thoughts and his dreams.

Blondie

Gotta love a boss who comes over to your house, uninvited, just to fire you and humiliate you in front of your family, friends and neighbors.

Mark Trail

Yeah. Peppers are good and all for forcing criminals out of their hideouts but Mark still prefers to use his fists.

Born Loser

My local baseball team is the Kansas City Royals. Interesting fact: Alex Rodriguez makes almost as much as the Royals, combined. A-Rod makes $32 million while the Royals make a combined $36.1 million. It is any wonder that we suck?

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You'll GRUE This Day's Commentary

Moderately sorry about last week, folks. Computer's AC adapter fried so I was unable to update. I have a new one now, though, so here's a pretty late update:

New Adventures of Queen Victoria

This comic is notable only for its fourth panel, but what a panel it is!

Girls and Sports

This comic, as usual, is just idiotic through and through. For one, why would you start a series on Thursday? If this isn't a series, why number it? Two, wouldn't any of the guys' actions in the first two panels give the wrong impression? What are they supposed to be doing, anyway? Synchronized dancing? Is that a thing? Why not just sit next to the girls and see what happens? I don't know, I just don't like this strip.

Baby Blues

Fun fact! Baby Blues did, in fact, have a television show during the early 2000s! Fun fact! I remember it being terrible.

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Stupid robbers, stupid pigs, stupid cats, and dead dogs.

Gah!  I forgot to post last Saturday...  how could I?  At least there's one today.  Let's begin:

Slylock Fox:

These have to be not only the stupidest but also the weirdest burglars ever.  First of all, they're stupid because they've left the window open so the police can just climb in and catch them.  Second of all, they're weird because they have some kind of Pac-Man vs. Evil Pac-Man game.  I guess it might be fun to play, though.

Baby Blues:

If Hammy only uses ten Zoes, there's really no need to pay attention to him at all.  You just have to make sure to count how many he uses whenever he enters the room.  If he only uses three or four, you're actually allowed to throw that doll at him.  You could also use the brush if you want.

Heathcliff:

I would give up, too, if I knew I would have to squeeze myself into an opening that's too small for me just to get some birds to eat.  I mean, do you think it would make that much of a difference to the birds if the worm was a bit bigger?  If they're going to be fooled, I bet the size of the worm doesn't matter.  If they're not...  then the size definitely doesn't matter.

Ben:

The dog whimpers for his long lost dead friend whose bones have been scattered by the recent floods.  All that's left is a solitary bone, and because the rain continues, the dog has no way to go outside and claim his friend's remains and chew on them for a while.

Pearls Before Swine:

Stephan Pastis continues to show us how dumb Pig really is, but making him repeat an old saying that probably isn't true.  Observe: An article from Snopes.com.  Of course, Mr. Pastis has thoroughly disappointed me if he actually meant for Pig to be speaking the truth.

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Another Sunday...This Time With Comics

Welcome to another Sunday which means you are stuck with me once again. Muahaha!! Slim pickens today but after you read this you can hop over to my website and read the various mutterings I have over there.

Baby Blues 7/11/10

It's probably for the best that car didn't stop. It may have been Terry Savage coming to yell at you until he realized that you are charging for your lemonade.

I was always told to stop and buy lemonade from enterprising young kids, and I love the giant red arrow Zoe and Hammie made.

My Cage 7/11/10

I've read a lot on the series finale of "Lost" (because I never watched that show) and from what I've read the ending was disappointing and no one liked it. I, however, thought "The Sopranos" ending was very good. You know what series finale I didn't like? "Night Court". Really? Bull gets abducted by aliens? What flaky B.S. is that?

What? The comic? Oh, well, anything with Snoopy in it is fine by me.

Piranha Club 7/11/10

Ew. Why would you continue touching the doorknob when the sound your hand makes touching it is "slup"? Also, why did it take four panels to finally explain to us what is on the doorknob, Bud Grace couldn't shove that box into the first panel?

Big Nate 7/11/10

What kind of gum comes with a fortune? Bazooka Joe comes with a comic and those had fortunes with them. But I can't think of a gum that just had fortunes.

And anymore, aren't all fortunes (from cookies or other things) just now a bunch of random sayings?

The Born Loser 7/11/10

Brutus, you bother because you have a house with a mortgage, a family with a growning son (and wife) and because you want nice stuff not only for you wife and son but also for yourself. That is why people bother getting up and going to work even though what you are really working for is always one step ahead of you.

Also, don't forget when you get home you said you would clean the gutters.

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Science, math, art, and a look into the new MTV series "Pimp My Turtle."

Hmm.  It's an Arkholt post.  Must be Saturday.  Here's some comic blurbs.  This may even be educational. Why?  Because I'm going in alphabetical order today.

Agnes:

I have several problems with this strip.  First, if you dip a cheese curl in water for twenty seconds, I think the cheese powder on the outside would probably come off, so they wouldn't still be orange when you put them on the cloth on the floor.  Secondly, most likely the water you dipped it in would be orange after a large amount have been dipped.  I blame these problems on whoever colored the strip, as it often isn't the cartoonist that does it.  If it is, though, shame on him.

The biggest problem with this strip, however, is that the cheese curl would likely either disintegrate in the water or fall apart as you tried to get it out of the water, so straightening it would likely be be impossible.

All of this comes from educated guesses, however.  I'll have to get some cheese curls and do some tests.

Baby Blues:

I believe the second reason for doing summer homework is the real reason she's doing it.  Perhaps I'm not giving Zoe enough credit, but I wouldn't think that "staying sharp" is really more important to her than making Hammy look bad.  I can't see it being extremely important to her at all.  Annoying her brother, however, is what she lives for.  So, I'll just have to give this one to her.

Brevity:

"Time to go challenge the Hare to another race.  No one will laugh at me now!"

The Lockhorns:

I want one!  No, I don't want one of those, actually.  I want something that looks like that but is far larger.  Like, as large as me.  THAT would be a conversation piece.

Reality Check:

Yeah, yeah, Thomas Edison didn't invent the lightbulb.  Fine.  Still, he improved the design and made it actually work properly.  Alexander Graham Bell is credited with inventing the telephone, but Thomas Edison worked his magic on that as well, with Bell watching him.  Yeah, worked with Bell to improve the telephone, and he showed Bell up by making it actually usable, just like he did with the lightbulb.  So, next time anyone says Edison is an idea stealer, please remember that the people with the ideas are not always the ones that make the ideas work.

Sorry for the rant.  Isn't this supposed to be funny?  Yeah.  Maybe I won't rant so much on Monday. 

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The Streets Will Flow Red With the Blood of Joey's Victims

Sundays come way too quickly.  I'm looking into doing something different here on Sundays every once in a while because I feel I need to do a change-up.  In the meantime, if you don't already, you should check out the blog Nerd Armada by C.H. Greenblatt.  Greenblatt was a storyboarder on "Spongebob Squarepants", "The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy" where he created and voiced Fred Fredburger and created "Chowder".  You should check out his blog and some of his original illustrations on there.

Funky Winkerbean 5/23/10

Or, instead of going to all that work you could just not log on for awhile.

I have to admit that about eight months ago, I deleted my MySpace account and I never looked back.  No one did anything on MySpace and from what I can tell no one still does anything on MySpace.

Baby Blues 5/23/10

I would like to get my son into some summer things like softball or swimming or karate but he's gone for the summer so it would be kind of a waste of money to sign him up then have him be 200 miles away.  I, however, would never have my kid's schedule so full that there's no time to sit down mainly because I'd be doing all the toting around and I would rather just stay at home some days.

Zits 5/23/10

What is going on with Jeremy's mom's boob in the next to last panel?  She either needs a better bra or needs to start wearing one.  I know having kids kind of puts some strain on them but still...jeez.

Brevity 5/23/10

The mastermind behind Comics I Don't Understand is mentioned in today's Brevity which is kind of cool when you think about it.  On the plus side, luckily his girlfriend-cum-fiancee saw it before those birds ruined it.

And who doesn't love fanny?  Boy the stories I could tell you!

Dennis the Menace 5/23/10

Holy shit.  Joey is asserting himself and his blood-curdling voice is powerful enough to turn the world red.  I take back ever homoerotic thing I ever said or thought about in connection with Joey.  I just hope when he takes over he spares my life.  I'm a really good cook...

The Knight Life 5/23/10

I believe this.  If humans were to disappear, the Earth would do fine and would eventually correct itself.  I say, just be more environmentally friendly, it's not hurting anything and maybe when our grandkids' grandkids' take over the Earth, it won't be like Los Angeles on a 90 degree summer day.

 The Born Loser 5/23/10

I have books from year ago I have yet to get around to reading.  My wife has books I could possibly read and maybe someday I'll get to those.  Since I started my new job, I've read like six book and am currently working on "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" series.  I wish I could just take a day and sit and read and maybe this summer I can.

Is Brutus just staring at the cover of that book?  He hasn't even opened it yet?

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Retarded Dinosaurs are Bad at Math

Today's batch actually includes some comics that made me laugh because they were, get this, funny.

But, there's also a few that I just have to rag on. There's so many comics out there, it's hard to know which ones you should make fun of and which ones you should just ignore and hope it vanishes into obscurity. It makes me wonder sometimes if sites like this are keeping some comics alive when they really should be taken out back and shot.

However, if you want, there's totally a new comic up over at Carafe (which today, I will just link to instead of integrating it into my review... gotta keep it fresh)!

Baby Blues (03.16.10)

Aside from this mom going waaaaay overboard in the last panel, that kid is totally right. He's simply learning from the greatest wealth of knowledge on the Internet: Wikipedia.

The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee (03.16.10)

See, this one is funny because there's a cow in the kid's living room, and that old man was trying to convince him that it was a bad idea. That kid, although VERY awkward looking, is awesome.

Pros & Cons (03.16.10)

Okay, so I laughed pretty good at this one. It's funny. Deal with it. That crazy guy is going to murder you someday, so laugh at this now.

The Lockhorns (03.16.10)

I didn't necessarily want to draw undue attention to this stupid comic, but let's be honest, people really must think this is funny. You know, like, older people maybe? I'm not sure. All I know is that there's a ton of commercials about this same thing, but I don't find it all that crazy or funny. Most people would be like, "Didn't you read my Facebook?" "My tweet about dinner?" But, the fact of the matter is that this comic is just about two incredibly lazy people and lord knows it took that woman a decade to type that darned text message anyway when it probably took her two steps to be in the living room. Besides, what is it? Odorless food? Gosh, when dinner is ready at my house, I'm ready to eat, not waiting around for someone to tell me it's ready. I'm nearly shoving my wife out of the way to get to the food. Maybe that's just me...

Todd the Dinosaur (03.16.10)

When I first saw this, all I could hope for was for this dinosaur to be retarded. That's why he got a D on a math test. He can't do math. He's a dinosaur, very similar to a book I just made called, My Friend Terrence the T-Rex. But, then I read all the way to the end, and found that his conclusion was equally as funny. It's always good to throw in a Family Circus jab, but I still think that dinosaur has a mental deficiency.

Zits (03.16.10)

How in the world could that be "in a good way"? Ever. On any planet? Someone help me understand why the dad had to say one more thing. The bit about the coupon book was humorous, but the dad just kind of screwed up the punchline by saying something idiotic. And not in a good way.

The end.

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Look, it's commentary.

Hey. Go click the links I gave you yesterday, and here's a new one for you: Time-Mind Sync-Warp. Now then, look, it's commentary.

Baby Blues, 02/19/10

I just like the name of the gym. It's kind of nonsensical, but sort of makes sense, since if you get into really bad shape you'll probably die.

Committed, 02/19/10

At first, I was going to rant about how Discovery Zone hasn't been around for like, ten years. Then I noticed that this comic was from 1997, which means that I can talk about how I do, in fact, remember that there was such a place as Discovery Zone. Then I looked up what happened to it, realized how old I feel remembering life as a child, and got very depressed. Anyway, they sort of got hoisted on their own petard and, after filing for bankruptcy, were bought out by Chuck E. Cheese's. Which used to be a lot better, when they had actual arcade games.

Flight Deck, 02/19/10

My mother and little brother are pretty much obsessed with the Beatles, and everything Beatles-related, so I experience a greater amount of Paul McCartney than a good portion of the population. Therefore, I'm coming from a good place when I say that he looks sort of like someone's grandmother now. This is not meant to mock the man, but is merely a fact.

Funky Winkerbean, 02/19/10

It looks like Wally Winkerbean is about to have a violent war flashback, resulting in the deaths of a lot of the cast and background characters. It still isn't the worst way to die in this comic strip, though.

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