Copy-Cats and Whatnot

Well, I have thirteen comics today. However, most of them have just been chosen because they're pretty much identical to each other. For example:

BEAVERS LIKE TO EAT WOOD!
The Argyle Sweater and Ziggy, 7/10/09

I think it's important to note that beavers don't actually eat wood. Cartoonists, obviously, don't realize this.

ANIMALS ARE TOO STUPID TO REALIZE WE SLAUGHTER THEM TO MAKE THINGS!
In the Bleachers and Farcus, 7/10/2009

This one is probably true, however. Also, who would let hoofed animals work on an assembly line? Really now, there's suspended disbelief, and then there's straight-up shooting belief in the back of the head and letting its corpse float downriver to scare children.

BAD PAINTING GO IN THE CLOSET!
Moose and Molly and Pickles, 7/10/2009


I'm glad they're just sort of inventing cliches at this point. We definitely need more of those to replace the old worn-out ones.

Of course, in addition to the above comics, we have three strips featuring appearances by the cast of Zits. One of them is Zits, of course:
Zits, Rip Haywire, and Moderately Used 7/10/2009



I'm sure there's some reason for this that's unknown to me, but it's still sort of weird seeing these characters in all three comics. Also, I was wondering when they were coming out with that issue of Archie. I'm serious about that. I'm not going to read it, but I do like knowing that it's out.

Then we have some random comics:
Mary Worth, 7/10/09:

Mary Worth is so angry that she's actually using PHYSICAL FORCE to meddle. Look at her. This is the angriest I've ever seen the woman. She looks like she's some sort of action hero whisking away the damsel in distress, when in reality she's just a meddlesome old lady. That woman, though, is just asking to me hit on in that stunning yellow combo of shirt which covers nothing, fishnet stockings, and heels. Rawr.

Ted Rall, 7/10/09:

If you told me that today was the day I'd see a cartoon featuring the President calling a bunch of people fags, then I'd just look at you and say, "So? What do I care?" Then again, he could just be answering the group's question. In any case, why is he using that word at all? Is this a reference to some sort of news thing I missed? Is the President vaguely homophobic? Why am I thinking so much about this stupid cartoon?

Get Fuzzy, 7/10/09:

Shrodinger's Cat is one of my favorite hypothetical experiments, and it's nice to see it get some love. It's also nice to see Bucky pitch a fantasy fight between Pavlov's Dog and Shrodinger's Cat, and amusing to see Satchel's take on the whole thing. Who knew he'd get so emotional about something like this?

Skin Horse, 7/10/09:

After yesterday's initial encounter with this strip, I just had to see what happened. If the bald guy is some sort of megalomaniac, then I guess the whole poison thing makes a little more sense. I just wonder if he has some sort of motive to invade Alaska, and if those are his two best dogs, does that mean he has more dogs which are somehow worse? I guess only time will tell.

Well, there you have it folks. Here's a gratuitous plug for my website, and another for the forums which are shared by my site and the DCR. You should totally go make some friends, because everyone who posts on the forum is one bodacious dude (or radical dudette)!

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Imminent Death and Destruction

Hello. Some of you might know me from the Meekrat Entertainment Group, which shares a forum with this site. Anyway, here I am, with a whole load of comics to be mildly lambasted. I think there's twelve of them or something, but expect the number to dwindle as time goes on.

Cathy 7/9/09

Cathy is all about the slow domination of machine over man. It would seem our only hope of surviving the Robopocalypse is Cathy herself, still concerned with little things like interpersonal communication, in which case we're all pretty much screwed. I look forward to seeing her scream "ACK!" as the robots torture her.

Edge City, 7/9/09

Only Edge City has the moxie to tackle the ever-growing problem of Facebook addiction. Abby obviously needs help, and she wants it, will she be able to tear herself away from Facebook long enough to end this downward spiral? Considering how she's looking for answers in the very den of the demon, I doubt it. The next few weeks will likely consist of her slowly wasting away, or being forcibly put into Facebook rehab. It'll be a laugh riot.

Heathcliff, 7/9/09

I just like the fish in a bicycle helmet, and I wanted to share it with all of you.

Lola, 7/9/09:

Do you know who would really hate to see that? Luke Skywalker. He'd be all jealous of the little Hispanic girl getting to ride on his father's shoulders. He might even turn to the Dark Side himself and show Dora the Spanish word for "Getting decapitated with a lightsaber." It's probably an onomatopoeia of some sort.

Mallard Fillmore, 7/9/09:

Hey, look! The fetus is telepathically communicating about torture! So it's about abortion and torture! Sadly, this is about a hundred times better than the usual nonsense this strip puts out.

Annie, 7/7/09:

Supposedly, this is Little Orphan Annie. I have no idea if that's true, because there's a decapitated robot head bouncing down a street and and a guy named Xaxos being all angry and stuff. Ah, wait, creepy soulless Annie eyes. Even on the robot head... is that a decapitated cyborg head? Annie is far more interesting than I thought.

Birdbrains, 7/9/09:

Insecticide?! That bug wasn't trying to do drugs, he was trying to kill himself!

Committed, 7/9/09:

I have to call shenanigans on this, because the CandyLand board game has an actual, viable, movie-capable storyline and characters. You don't need to create some stupid villains hi-jacked from a dental PSA.

Eek, 7/9/09:

On a similar note, Godzilla is totally capable of messing up Japan with kids. He does it all the time, and brings the kid with him, or the kid gets kidnapped, or becomes the loneliness-birthed hallucination of a wimpy Japanese child. I'd imagine Japan would properly screwed if Godzilla showed up with a whole brood of young'uns, though, so maybe the parent Godzilla is just making sure that Japan is a viable source of destruction for years to come.

Maintaining, 7/9/09:

I think the better question here is: Is Halfrican-American a real term?

Reality Check, 7/9/09:

First and foremost, I realize it's a comic strip, so for the sake of the gag I'll just assume that's how bows and arrows work. They could have just said, "My crossbow went off", though, which would have solved all sorts of problems. I'll also assume a human being can live through that. My main issue, then, is how the arrow is lodged in his head. If he was cleaning the bow and arrow like any normal person would, the arrow would actually have gone through his leg, or at least it would be perpendicular to the angle it's at now.

Skin Horse, 7/9/09:

Sausage Picnic sounds dirty. Also, I can't figure out what's more disturbing: the fact that the dog is expecting the sausages to be poisoned, or the fact that the man cheerfully exclaims that they're not... this time.

Well, that's my inaugural effort here. It was filled with death and bereft of logic. And fun?

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