Monday Odds and Ends.....

Matt here. Nothing like a Monday morning at O'Hare Airport to make one appreciate.... ummm ..... not sure what one appreciates at O'Hare Airport. Anyways, on to the funnies:

Baby Blues

Darryl, c'mon. You can do better than that. Unless "Shoulder Massage" is a euphemism for something else in the Baby Blues household.

Curtis

Despite the pains that Ray Billingsley took to make this accurate, it still fails on the "Google it" challenge. Basically, the ice hotel itself is called the Sorrisniva Igloo Hotel. There is no town called Sorrisniva, Norway. The hotel is in Alta, Norway. Anyways, I had more fun reading about Alta and the hotel than I did reading this comic strip.

Hi and Lois

I do like the coloring of daily comics, but for heaven's sake why is the floor black? Or does this mean that Hi and Lois are demons cast out of Hades and perform ceremonies while their kids are asleep? That would explain the passive/aggressive look on the baby's face.

Beetle Bailey

Sigh. Beetle Bailey has been really, really awful the past few months and this is no exception. First, jumping first has no bearing on opening a parachute first. One can jump first but still not open a parachute first. Second, I always disliked forced answers to questions. Sarge asked, are you ready to jump. He should have asked, who wants to jump first and it makes Beetle's answer better. Third, oh hell. There is no third other than I hate this strip.

Dennis the Menace

Before even reading the text of this comic, I knew that something was going on. I'd love to see what Alice's (is that the mom's name) expression is as it can't be good. And who is this person? Is she a babysitter? A friend? Someone they found on Craigslist for a three-way?

Funky Winkerbean

I hate lazy cartooning. Look at these three panels carefully. Let's use coach as the focal point and take his stance of facing forward. The reporter in panel 1 is to the left of coach and in front. In panel 2, he is to the left of coach and in front. In panel 3, he is to the right of coach and a bit behind him. What did he do? Some kind of quick jog around coach to get a different shot. ARRRGGGHHHH......make it stop! Oh, and the "joke" is horrible also.

Sally Forth

I work in HR and people don't just bring HR in and say "cut 40 people from our staff". That is a strategic decision and usually involves all lines of business and they debate and come up with an answer and THEN tell HR who they want to cut. But I guess that's too sophisticated for this new storyline.

That's all for now. Please comment if you enjoy any part of this. We feed off of any kind of discussion and always good to know if anyone is reading. Thanks!

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The Streets Will Flow Red With the Blood of Joey's Victims

Sundays come way too quickly.  I'm looking into doing something different here on Sundays every once in a while because I feel I need to do a change-up.  In the meantime, if you don't already, you should check out the blog Nerd Armada by C.H. Greenblatt.  Greenblatt was a storyboarder on "Spongebob Squarepants", "The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy" where he created and voiced Fred Fredburger and created "Chowder".  You should check out his blog and some of his original illustrations on there.

Funky Winkerbean 5/23/10

Or, instead of going to all that work you could just not log on for awhile.

I have to admit that about eight months ago, I deleted my MySpace account and I never looked back.  No one did anything on MySpace and from what I can tell no one still does anything on MySpace.

Baby Blues 5/23/10

I would like to get my son into some summer things like softball or swimming or karate but he's gone for the summer so it would be kind of a waste of money to sign him up then have him be 200 miles away.  I, however, would never have my kid's schedule so full that there's no time to sit down mainly because I'd be doing all the toting around and I would rather just stay at home some days.

Zits 5/23/10

What is going on with Jeremy's mom's boob in the next to last panel?  She either needs a better bra or needs to start wearing one.  I know having kids kind of puts some strain on them but still...jeez.

Brevity 5/23/10

The mastermind behind Comics I Don't Understand is mentioned in today's Brevity which is kind of cool when you think about it.  On the plus side, luckily his girlfriend-cum-fiancee saw it before those birds ruined it.

And who doesn't love fanny?  Boy the stories I could tell you!

Dennis the Menace 5/23/10

Holy shit.  Joey is asserting himself and his blood-curdling voice is powerful enough to turn the world red.  I take back ever homoerotic thing I ever said or thought about in connection with Joey.  I just hope when he takes over he spares my life.  I'm a really good cook...

The Knight Life 5/23/10

I believe this.  If humans were to disappear, the Earth would do fine and would eventually correct itself.  I say, just be more environmentally friendly, it's not hurting anything and maybe when our grandkids' grandkids' take over the Earth, it won't be like Los Angeles on a 90 degree summer day.

 The Born Loser 5/23/10

I have books from year ago I have yet to get around to reading.  My wife has books I could possibly read and maybe someday I'll get to those.  Since I started my new job, I've read like six book and am currently working on "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" series.  I wish I could just take a day and sit and read and maybe this summer I can.

Is Brutus just staring at the cover of that book?  He hasn't even opened it yet?

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Brutus Turns 45 and Two Comics' Editors Have Seemingly Given Up

We have got some amazing news that you may or may not have heard yet. MikeP mentioned earlier this week that Annie is coming to an end after 86 years. Now if only we could get rid of The Katzenjammer Kids. Also, the comic strip I have been neglecting lately on my own site has turned 45. The Born Loser is now 45 (how it got that old I have no idea) but I am proud of it because it has provided the bulk of Watch This Space for the last three years. You can view the official press release from United Media here. Also, join the Official Born Loser Facebook Fan Page if you dare.

The Born Loser 5/15/10 and 5/16/10

So we're supposed to assume that Brutus is indeed 45-years-old. I guess that makes sense. I guess the Brutus that was around from 1965 until 1989 was from Earth-2 and today's Brutus is from Earth-Prime.

In Wilberforce's defense, the coach said nothing about having to take the donut off.

Curtis and Dennis the Menace 5/16/10


Two strips with old people complaining about technology and how it's made everyone fat and lazy. Also, how menacing of Dennis to help a senior citizen learn to use a computer. Next thing you know Dennis will be helping set up Mr. Wilson's Facebook account and getting in touch with the class of 1947.

Also, how come Curtis says he's going to drop in on Gunther's Barbershop when it's clear he's there for a haircut?

Blondie 5/16/10

Yeah, Dagwood may be fired today but I'm pretty we will see him at work with J.C. Dithers some time in the next week. Continuity in the comic strips is teh s uck.

Girls & Sports 5/16/10

Hmm, I don't know what part of that yellow shirt screams blue but Bradley is a terrible friend no matter how many times he helps Marshall get laid.

Fort Knox 5/16/10

Last time I checked, it was called the Presidential Physical Fitness Test, not the Presidential Phyisical Fitness Test.

Sweet Lord, these things have editors still, right?

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I Hate These Comic Strips

I love comic strips. I've done book reports in school about comic strips and its beginnings. I like just about every comic strip and there are a few that I love (none are currently being produced, BTW). There are several comic strips that I hate. Hate is different than not liking. There are strips I don't like (Herb & Jamaal, 9 Chickweed Lane and Cathy) but there are strips I genuinely hate. And here they are:

Drabble 4/18/10

Drabble is like Paul Blart only less cute, adorable and funny. Drabble is the story of a slightly older than middle aged man working as a mall cop while also trying to continue to raise his adult son Patrick. Drabble is a mess of bad puns, stupid jokes and basically aiming for the lowest common denominator.

Curtis 4/18/10

This strip actually demonstrates one reason why I hate Curtis. Curtis' dad smokes only because of stress. Curtis has routinely expressed his disgust with his dad's smoking but Curtis' dad doesn't change. Granted, Curtis doesn't go the normal route by showing his dad how slowly he is killing his own family whenever he's "stressed" out but his dad could at least try.

The Dinette Set 4/18/10

The main hatred I have for The Dinette Set is there is always too much going on. I've often said that the stupid words and stuff strewn around the panels (like the "M.I.T.: Moron In Training" in today's strip) is to distract from the fact that the comic itself isn't funny.

Mutts 4/18/10

I used to like the comic strip Mutts. Then something happened. It got preachy. The strips starting telling me to protect our animal friends and to go to a shelter and adopt a dog or cat. I don't need a mediocre comic strip telling me to go do stuff and I'm sure everyone under the age of 70 agrees with me.

Shoe 4/18/10

Do we even see P. Martin Shoemaker more than once a month anymore? Since Jeff MacNelly passed away in 2000, Shoe has just been languishing on the vine just waiting to die. Amazingly, I noticed a few months ago that Susan MacNelly (possibly Jeff's daughter or granddaughter) has begun helping out on the strip and that the strip is possibly becoming funnier. Hopefully, there will come a time that I can remove this strip from this list.

Wee Pals 4/18/10

I'm sorry but kids making cutesy racist comments is just wrong. Every time I read Wee Pals, I die a little on the inside. But I can't stop looking at it because it's like a train at a railroad crossing for me. And I can't stop looking at those trains.

Zippy 4/18/10

I read somewhere that Zippy has never been funny. There are no jokes in Zippy and that the good artwork and intricate detail is to cover up that fact. The strip looks really good therefore you laugh at it because you don't want to look stupid. Well, Zippy is an abomination of comic strips. To me, it is the worst. A monkey could smear shit on a piece of urine green paper and I will still find that more culturally relevant and funnier than Zippy.

Ginger Meggs 4/18/10

I don't know why I hate Ginger Meggs. Maybe it's because he's got red hair, maybe it's because he's Australian maybe it's because Ginger is everything I hate in a comic strip about a kid. He's just plain annoying. It also makes me cringe to think that this strip has been around since 1921!

Fred Basset 4/18/10

I don't hate Fred Basset because it's British. I hate it because it's just not good and doesn't have a point to it. I looked up Fred Basset on Wikipedia and the article is written in a very British format. Also, there's a section that basically dissects the strip saying that a lot of the strips do not have jokes, an ending or even a purpose!! Yeah, that's my idea of a good comic strip, one without a purpose.

Frazz 4/18/10

I used to like Frazz, then it became too smart for its own good. It began making fun of people and pointing out flaws in the American language. And the kids? Smart-asses. 9 times out of 10 I want to backhand these little turds.

Housebroken 4/18/10

I don't know what's going on in this strip but I'm pretty sure you have to be high to understand it. I read Housebroken every week but it has yet to make me chuckle or even acknowledge it as being worthy of being on a newspaper page. I want to say it's trying to be like Bloom County but that's an insult to Bloom County.

Dennis the Menace 4/18/10

This comic showcases what is currently wrong with Dennis the Menace these days. Where's the menacing? I have a book which features the first two years of DTM's existence and he was a lot more menacing back in the 1950s. For example, in one comic he ties a swan's neck in a knot; in another he ruins a hot dog vendor's business by stealing his cart's umbrella; and he shuts his friend in a refrigerator just to prove that the light goes out when you shut the door. I want this Dennis back and I don't care if it gives children bad ideas. I just want to see Dennis do more menacing stuff like beating a teenage babysitter leaving a permanent scar on her chin.

Like more comic-related garbage? Then you should head over to my site where every Thursday I talk about comics in book book and strip form. Plus there's that whole Born Loser thing I do.

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600

Not only is today Easter (how come when Jesus comes back from the dead it's a miracle but when other people do it it's a zombie?) but it's also the 600th post of the DCR!! Everyone rejoice with chocolate eggs and hollow bunnies!

Candorville 4/4/10

I hate when people try to argue with me in the comments sections of my blog but I have a simple solution for that. Not approving the comment. It's my blog and last I knew we still had the right to freedom of speech.

Daddy's Home 4/4/10

Peeps are disgusting. Now whenever I see Peeps I'm going to picture them riddled with syphilis.

Funky Winkerbean 4/4/10

I don't get it. How in the hell could Tom Batiuk take a strip that's not supposed to be depressing and completely turn it depressing? How much does Tom Batiuk hate life?

Dennis the Menace 4/4/10

In what appears to be the least menacing thing Dennis has done since 1971, he has hidden Easter eggs around the yard for his neighbor, Mr. Wilson, to find. Hopefully the eggs are some form of symbolism like Dennis is now going to torture Mr. Wilson like a KGB Agent would.

Basic Instructions 4/4/10

Nothing to say. I just liked this.

Cathy 4/4/10

Really, Cathy? 17 chocolate bunnies? 17?!? God, no wonder you're fat.

Family Circus 4/4/10

And it wouldn't be Easter without the Keane kids and their speech balloons with no tails.

Happy Easter everyone!!

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Pretty Sure

Are you reading Carafe yet? Both XY and myself have comics up there, so you should really be reading it. Now then, on with today's late commentary:

Momma, 02/04/10

I'm pretty sure Momma just walked in on her son and a prostitute. I'm also pretty sure that the son expects Momma to be put out by this, for some reason. What I don't get is how someone like Momma's son, who is portrayed as perpetually unemployed and lazy, can afford an apartment, let alone a prostitute. Does he just mooch all his money from his mother?

Also, if she's not a prostitute, then that just brings up a whole different set of questions based on the previous characterization of the son as a charisma-less loser.

Ollie and Quentin, 02/04/10

Humans attack sharks for sport and whatnot, sometimes, and humans are technically animals. I'm not saying we should be proud of that fact, I'm just saying it happens.

Dennis the Menace, 02/04/10

The concept of Mister Wilson crafting a terrible revenge plot against the spawn of Dennis unnerves me, but also intrigues me. What sort of revenge would Mister Wilson enact? Maybe black-mailing them into taking care of him in his advanced age, so that he could bother them as Dennis has bothered him.

Brevity, 02/04/10

I'm pretty sure the joke here is that the MIT guys are enraged by the fact that the Dave Parker Five has six guys in it. If that's the joke, then I think it's actually a pretty good one. If it's not, then what the heck is going on in this panel?

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Conservative preacher

It's Thursday, which means that you people are stuck with me again. A terrible fate, I know, but let's just get it over with:

Better Half, 10/1/09

Thank god the panel cuts out at the stomach so we don't have to see all of this self-improvement endeavor.

Dennis the Menace, 10/1/09

Imagine if one of the "Dennis the Menace" movies they made were about him as a teenager. Barring any sort of personal growth, Dennis would most likely be a sadistic jerk who delighted in tormenting others. The climax of the movie would be when he finally gives Mister Wilson a heart attack, and while Dennis would briefly reflect on the events which caused him to cause another's death, he would then laugh and hop in his car and drive off somewhere to toy with a bunch of teenagers and probably date-rape at least one of them. It's important to note that for that exercise I simply assumed that Dennis was as menacing as he used to be. The Dennis we have now wouldn't be a hell-raiser, unless you were an especially conservative preacher.

Hi and Lois, 10/1/09

Speaking of conservative preachers, they'd have issues with Ditto's choice of hairstyle. Oh, and Ditto? You're a Mort Walker character. Absolutely nothing can make you look cool.

Marvin, 10/1/09

The same preacher would be pleased that the hellspawn Marvin was horrified by that girl and her mysticism. I'm not so sure seances are something that naturally lend themselves to goths, though I admit to not being 100% sure about that. Then again, this is Marvin so I shouldn't really care about it, as long as she's making him uncomfortable. That makes her a hero for our age.

Dick Tracy, 10/1/09

I have no idea what's going on in the third panel, unless Pops the Clown is forcing Ringo to perform for his amusement.

Frog Applause, 10/1/09

So the llama is sad because the woman won't sleep with him anymore, but the woman says that the llama can watch if he wants. So that's bestiality and voyeurism right there. Also, that llama can probably do a lot better than that woman.

La Cucaracha, 10/1/09

First and foremost, does anyone remember the Boondocks at all? According to Wikipedia, the strip's been over for over three years and the show hasn't aired a new episode in nearly two years. I realize that this parody stemmed from the fact that Boondocks was over, but isn't doing it three years later sort of odd? Second, is the joke here just what Kayne West did, or that he has terrible taste in comic strips?

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