The Daily Comics Review: Thursday Quickies

by Hal Bent

It must be Thursday, so today is all about the QUICKIES!  OK, let's fire these up:

Adam@Home by Brian Basset:

Jack Klugman jokes? Seriously? Star of the Odd Couple and medical drama Quincy M.E.? Last culturally relevant in 1983 when Quincy M.E. was cancelled?  Basset is obviously gearing this strip for the elderly still reading newspapers instead of us online readers. 

Andertoons by Mark Anderson:

Does anyone know many times I've had to explain this to non-Star Trek fans?  NO ONE KNEW ABOUT THE INTERNET, SMART PHONES, MINIATURIZATION OF COMPUTERS IN 1967! Gene Roddenberry was a TV producer, not a technology visionary. Star Trek was not about what tech would be in the future, but rather a social commentary hidden in science fiction.


Overboard by Chip Dunham:

Gotta love a good poop joke.  Nothing else to add. Just pointing out that some days, you need a good poop joke. 


Momma by Mell Lazarus:

Hell, no, Momma. Francis is banging all the ladies!!! He's single, unattached, scoring with the ladies, and no doubt riddled with venereal diseases.  


Thanks as always for reading, all! Have a great night...the weekend is right around the corner.

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Fencing Tryouts

Adam@Home

Adam, 30 minutes is more than enough alone time with your wife.

B.C.

Since when do fence builders need agents?  Also, those other three are ready to go; no blunted tips for them!

Bottomliners

Aww... true story.

Fort Knox

Because being your Grandpa really isn't doing it for me, kid.

Overboard

There is an important life lesson here, and it is to never help anyone.

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Transmissions

TO: Head of the CIA
FROM: Charleston Charge
RE: Transmissions (URGENT)

Hello, director of the CIA. I know everyone says that it's some guy named Petraeus, but you guys are the CIA. There's probably at least five levels over him, and you're at the top. Now, my name is Charleston Charge, and I have an important thing to talk to you about. It's recently come to my attention that over 2000 TB of unaccounted data have been transmitted daily since the year 1995, and while no one else wants to talk to me about it, I'm sure there's something weird going on. I think it might have something to do with that Verdant Orb thing that a lot of my contemporaries have sighted in various shots from space telescopes. I've tracked down some of what was transmitted today, and thought I should share with you. Here's the first thing:
It's today's "Arctic Circle", and I think the author is using this specific strip as an attempt to tell us that, soon, some weird creature is going to reveal themselves and start killing our ducks in order to eat them. Except, maybe, we're the ducks and they're going to eat us, which is probably a lot more likely. That's not the worst of it, though. Look:

This one is called "Overboard", and I think the implications are clear. Aliens are going to come to Earth and abduct all the humanoids. Man and ape will be united as they attempt to escape the humanoid aliens who come to take us to their home-world in order to mate with us. Maybe they won't even leave. Maybe they'll colonize Earth! It's sort of weird, isn't it, how one dog is a dog and the other talks? Oh, and I just noticed that pun at the end, but I'm getting off-track. Abductions, man! Breeding camps! Thankfully, other comic strips want to protect us:

"Brewster Rockit" knows that the only way to defeat the alien hordes is to take up arms against them. Yet is also shows us we have to be careful, lest we destroy ourselves. Stan Lee already knows about another danger:

In "Spider-Man", he shows us that it's only a matter of time until we betray ourselves.

I think what has to be done is clear, director. The CIA has to stand up against the alien menace that's coming, and I volunteer for the task force.

Awaiting your reply,
Charleston Charge

---

TO: Charleston Charge
FROM: Rahn Way
RE: RE: Transmissions (URGENT)

Stop sending us messages about this. At first, it was sort of fun to see what theories you had come up with, but it's just gotten sad. I'm the only one reading them. Please, you have to have something better to do with your life.

---

TO: Rahn Way
FROM: Charleston Charge
RE: RE: RE: Transmissions (URGENT)

This is my life. Who cares about finishing high school when there's so many things in the world that need explaining? So many dangers that need thwarting? You'll be hearing from me again.

---

There was no reply.

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Strategizing

To be continued Friday at Meekrat's Emporium of Nonsensery.

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Wednesday Roundup

Alley Oop

Really? It's been nearly two months since this "I can't tell which of these women is my special lady friend because I'm pea-brained moron" plot-line started. That's two months for a roughly five minute conversation. Is this cartoonist so bereft of ideas that such an inane plot-point must be stretched out ad nauseam? On the plus side, we should get about a week's worth of strips depicting Oola slapping Oop across his fat face for guessing incorrectly.

The Argyle Sweater

Justin Bieber invades the comics page. Nothing is sacred. Nothing is safe.

Betty

Pretty Humdrum if you're just watching TV and not using your phone to talk to your friends or to look up directions to someplace more interesting than the local Starbucks.

Bound and Gaged

I'm no expert on fairly tales, or even the Disney adaption of those fairy tales, but I'm pretty sure it was Snow White lying in a glass casket in the middle of the forest. Sleeping Beauty had nice digs in a castle somewhere.

Break of Day

While literal interpretations of common expressions can be a good source of humor and can result in some delightful absurdism, I'm fairly certain this strip illustrates the exact scenario from where this saying originated, and thus is not funny at all.

Love is

Run away, androgynous cherub-man! Run away!

Overboard

Lame pun aside, kudos to the Overboard crew for doing some actual pirating. It's been a long time.

The Grizzwells

Stomach churning innuendo of forest critter on forest critter action? Check. Irrational discussion of workplace activities despite no depiction of anything actually resembling work? Check. Yup, today's Grizzwells covers all its usual topics.

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Greetings, DCR readers!

So. Here I am, innocent li'l old me, sitting at my desk reading through what's new in Google Reader. Suddenly I come across an interesting post about the DCR that says they're taking time off! Next, I see that they're trying to avoid that by adding more writers, so I offered my blogging/reviewing expertise (of which I have very little, up til now) and Bryce said yes.

The process is as such: I read comics, and when I see one that's stupid, hilarious, scoff-at-able, doesn't make sense, or that I think I could have written better, I'll review it. Whilst reviewing, I'm going to attempt to utilize my wit and wisdom of the world to its full potential.

I hail from upstate NY, and I'm a sophomore in college with a CMA major and a minor in music.
You can view my complete profile here.

That being said, here's my first review.
I think you can just assume that all the comics reviewed are from today, 5-15-09.

The Middletons










Whenever I see someone who's hunched over in pain, having just thrown their back out, I make sure I mock & ridicule them as much as possible... don't you?


Red and Rover











Red: "Because when I'm working with a trained group of sharpshooters who are willing to kill people, they won't notice that I'm the only one who aims poorly every time, and they most certainly won't turn against me. And really, aiming away from the condemned man will be for my own satisfaction, because the other six guys won't miss anyway."

Rover: "Ah. I see. So, is this firing squad based in Sherwood Forest? I've never seen a firing squad that used bows and arrows before."

Red: "Uh..."


Overboard











Why don't the squirrels take a hint from birds, and learn to poo on their adversaries? Then they could eat ALL the acorns and still have tons of ammo. Duh.


Little Lost Dog











In today's lesson, we will be learning the properties of a turtle.
Property #1: Turtles often use a hard, solid matter called a shell as a bodily protective coating.
Property #2: Porcupine spines don't stick into hard turtle shells. Omg.
This is all assuming that's a turtle, of course, and not a loaf of bread with legs.

Lio











Damn, why does Lio get all the luck? I've always wanted to be sucked into a sewer and thrown a birthday party by illiterate cycloptic octopi!

Chuckle Bros












Okay, goats, kids, haha. What I'm wondering is why the family of goats has a lamp-table with legs made of goat horns in their own home? Wouldn't it be creepy if humans had coffee tables with actual severed human legs? The answer is yes. Yes, it would be creepy.

Cathy











Personally, I would be completely okay with my mother-in-law organizing my clothing for me. If she wanted to clean my house, I'd be overjoyed. However (glancing at the state of Cathy's desk & office) Cathy looks like she really enjoys unorganized clutter, so... I guess that's just her thing.

Brenda Star










...Salman surely won't mind. He's such a nice, understanding guy. Oh, and by the way, could you please smack me upside the head for using random bold words where they aren't freaking neccessary? Thanks.


Bo Nanas











Comic Strip: Bo Nanas
Number of panels: 4
Joke: "Why are you waiting for the bus when you're wearing a rocket pack, smart one?"
Number of panels needed for joke: 1
Task: Figure out how to lengthen the comic into all 4 panels.
[COMPLETED]


--
Hope you enjoyed my first review. I shall now return to my regularly scheduled doldrums...

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The Best of the Sunday Funnies 8/24/08

This was an awesome weekend for me and I hope everyone else made some good memories. There were a ton of great Sunday comic strips and since most people read this blog at work they should be brightening your Monday right about now. Enjoy!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith 8/24/08


Bob the Squirrel 8/24/08


Cornered 8/24/08


Housebroken 8/24/08


Overboard 8/24/08


Zack Hill 8/24/08

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Bones, Lesbians, Mind Control and More Comics 8/8/08

Marmaduke 8/8/08

"Although it feels kind of nice having a bone in bed again." Oh snap impotent guy!


Overboard 8/8/08

Every time I see a haiku in the comics, I always think they got the idea from my Thursday Haiku Reviews. I'm not self-centered at all, I promise. If we ever see a haiku comic actually on a Thursday I can't be held liable if I crap myself.


Shoe 8/8/08

There are few things creepier than a bird with teeth. Along with frogs with teeth and spiders with wings, they are the things of my nightmares. What mutant creatures of science keep you up at night? We'd love your comments.


Popeye 8/8/08

This whole ridiculous new storyline with Popeye's kid being able to control things with his mind only works if the one with the power is a little baby. Give that ability to any guy over 12 and there isn't a paper in the country that would print that comic strip.


Wee Pals 8/8/08

Wee pals is known for being a daily comic that pushes racial stereotypes and works to bring together people from all different ethnic backgrounds. That being said, they still obviously haven't gotten over the whole fat hating thing, bigots!


Jane's World 8/8/08

I've only been reading Jane's World the last couple months since starting this blog but this comic strip has nowhere to go but up! The more exposure it gets, the faster the climb will be. I mean for all the guys that read daily comics, you'd think a strip about a bunch of lesbians hooking up constantly and big boobs everywhere would be in everyone's local newspaper.

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Your Daily Comics Collection 7/23/08

I hope everyone has been enjoying our daily comic adventures this week! You'd think that being on vacation, my updates would be earlier in the day than when I'm actually working. Funny how that works - I've just been sleeping in, going running, making myself great lunches and then finally sitting down to pound these daily comic reviews out. We'll be back on a regular schedule next week, so hopefully you can make it till then!

Neurotica 7/23/08

Even though it's more confusing than anything else, the potential greatness of future strips based solely off of todays comic strip meant it had to be featured. This comic is going places!


Cul de Sac 7/23/08

Prediction: Uh-Oh Baby will become the new running joke among the "cool kids" in middle school. The sooner Richard Thompson sells his soul and starts marketing Uh-Oh Baby t-shirts and bumper stickers , the sooner he'll be a millionaire. I'd buy that for a dollar!


Overbaord 7/23/08

The whole "tell bad joke/make fun of cartoonist" thing has already been done pretty extensively by Stephan Pastis and others I'm not aware of, but the joke is so bad and the timing so perfect today in Overboard that it was totally worth sharing.


The New Adventures of Queen Victoria 7/23/08

Two semi-blasphemous cartoons in one day? It's too good to be true!


Pickles 7/23/08

"If not of the government, at least of the comics page my boy."

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