Greetings, DCR readers!

So. Here I am, innocent li'l old me, sitting at my desk reading through what's new in Google Reader. Suddenly I come across an interesting post about the DCR that says they're taking time off! Next, I see that they're trying to avoid that by adding more writers, so I offered my blogging/reviewing expertise (of which I have very little, up til now) and Bryce said yes.

The process is as such: I read comics, and when I see one that's stupid, hilarious, scoff-at-able, doesn't make sense, or that I think I could have written better, I'll review it. Whilst reviewing, I'm going to attempt to utilize my wit and wisdom of the world to its full potential.

I hail from upstate NY, and I'm a sophomore in college with a CMA major and a minor in music.
You can view my complete profile here.

That being said, here's my first review.
I think you can just assume that all the comics reviewed are from today, 5-15-09.

The Middletons










Whenever I see someone who's hunched over in pain, having just thrown their back out, I make sure I mock & ridicule them as much as possible... don't you?


Red and Rover











Red: "Because when I'm working with a trained group of sharpshooters who are willing to kill people, they won't notice that I'm the only one who aims poorly every time, and they most certainly won't turn against me. And really, aiming away from the condemned man will be for my own satisfaction, because the other six guys won't miss anyway."

Rover: "Ah. I see. So, is this firing squad based in Sherwood Forest? I've never seen a firing squad that used bows and arrows before."

Red: "Uh..."


Overboard











Why don't the squirrels take a hint from birds, and learn to poo on their adversaries? Then they could eat ALL the acorns and still have tons of ammo. Duh.


Little Lost Dog











In today's lesson, we will be learning the properties of a turtle.
Property #1: Turtles often use a hard, solid matter called a shell as a bodily protective coating.
Property #2: Porcupine spines don't stick into hard turtle shells. Omg.
This is all assuming that's a turtle, of course, and not a loaf of bread with legs.

Lio











Damn, why does Lio get all the luck? I've always wanted to be sucked into a sewer and thrown a birthday party by illiterate cycloptic octopi!

Chuckle Bros












Okay, goats, kids, haha. What I'm wondering is why the family of goats has a lamp-table with legs made of goat horns in their own home? Wouldn't it be creepy if humans had coffee tables with actual severed human legs? The answer is yes. Yes, it would be creepy.

Cathy











Personally, I would be completely okay with my mother-in-law organizing my clothing for me. If she wanted to clean my house, I'd be overjoyed. However (glancing at the state of Cathy's desk & office) Cathy looks like she really enjoys unorganized clutter, so... I guess that's just her thing.

Brenda Star










...Salman surely won't mind. He's such a nice, understanding guy. Oh, and by the way, could you please smack me upside the head for using random bold words where they aren't freaking neccessary? Thanks.


Bo Nanas











Comic Strip: Bo Nanas
Number of panels: 4
Joke: "Why are you waiting for the bus when you're wearing a rocket pack, smart one?"
Number of panels needed for joke: 1
Task: Figure out how to lengthen the comic into all 4 panels.
[COMPLETED]


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Hope you enjoyed my first review. I shall now return to my regularly scheduled doldrums...