The DCR: Friday Funnies - 10/25/2013

by Hal Bent 

Happy Friday! It feels good to get the DCR back and running as I explore my dual dreams of working too much during the work week and overextending my non-work writing commitments. 

9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney:

Overtly political and unfailingly unsexy...that's a bad two days of strips...


Adam@Home by Brian Basset

So why am I not surprised to find out that Adam's "work" "@home" consists of games on his phone (he's too dumb for "Words with Friends").  He also has strong feelings on mayonnaise.  Very odd. I took my daughter to a birthday party and was stuck while she changed to the inane ramblings of the"mom's club" there sipping their chardonnay and talking about the whole mayonnaise/miracle whip debate. I hated them instantly. I deftly avoided being drawn into their conversation (as they both taste the same when you talk about the fat-free version) but they earned my eternal scorn.  Now Newman joins the miracle whip hatred).
Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II"

Do they run this gag every month? Seriously?

Momma by Mell Lazarus:

Francis lives the thug life.  He's not afraid to confront "the man". Maybe he is just trying to impress the secretary but I doubt he succeeds due to his extreme stupidity.  THUG LIFE. EXTREME!


Luann by Greg Evans:

End this, Evans...it's teetering toward a Penthouse Letter level of dialogue. Look at that steely gaze in the last panel by Mom...she is a little too intense about this "sleepover".  
DELETED PANEL FOUR: "You know, we're German...so the tinkle tour doesn't have to end..."

On that note, I'd better end this! Have a great weekend!

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Funday Sunnies

by Hal Bent

Its Sunday, time for the Funday Sunnies.  A little matricide, a little cross-comics non-humor, some disgusting body hair, and a pinch of unattractive weirdos.  Sounds about right for the comic strips. Enjoy!

Thatababy by Paul Trap:

What is wrong with this comic? 
#1: What time is service that they don't have time to read the newspaper before church? If they have a baby, they aren't sleeping in anytime soon. Rushing home to read the newspaper? That would be quaint in a Norman Rockwell painting.
#2: Umm, read the comics on a computer, maybe?  I love newspapers, but I have long since given up buying them. Let alone wait all day to read something in this Internet age.
#3: In the comic strip, there is no doctor/hospital activity ever going on in Rex Morgan, M.D.  Ever.  It's just bitchy rich people with bitchy rich people problems. 


Betty by Gary Delainey and Gerry Rasmussen:

"Remember those days when we were ugly and unattractive?"  
"Yeah, those were great days."
"Both of us too hideous to find another suitable mate.  Rejected by everyone else on those new-fangled dating websites."
"I miss AOL dial-up."
"Now we're still unattractive, with the same terrible personalities.."
"But we have each other!"

Ahh, a true love story, Betty style.


Momma by Mell Lazarus:

The fact that none of these idiot kids pushed the old wind-bag in and started shoveling is god-damn travesty considering how verbally abusive and mean she is to them.  The hole is dug, the hard work is done.  DO IT ALREADY!  END THE MISERABLE COMIC STRIP NOW!


Adam@Home by Brian Basset:

So first panel gives an up-the-nostril view of Adam with his fat stomach poking out under his shirt, then we the readers are forced to endure tales of his body hair.  Look at his expression in the last panel, this pig enjoys nothing more than regaling family with stories of his disgusting body.  Thank God these panels end, before he gets talking about more *cough cough* personal areas. 

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The Daily Comics Review: Thursday Quickies

by Hal Bent

It must be Thursday, so today is all about the QUICKIES!  OK, let's fire these up:

Adam@Home by Brian Basset:

Jack Klugman jokes? Seriously? Star of the Odd Couple and medical drama Quincy M.E.? Last culturally relevant in 1983 when Quincy M.E. was cancelled?  Basset is obviously gearing this strip for the elderly still reading newspapers instead of us online readers. 

Andertoons by Mark Anderson:

Does anyone know many times I've had to explain this to non-Star Trek fans?  NO ONE KNEW ABOUT THE INTERNET, SMART PHONES, MINIATURIZATION OF COMPUTERS IN 1967! Gene Roddenberry was a TV producer, not a technology visionary. Star Trek was not about what tech would be in the future, but rather a social commentary hidden in science fiction.


Overboard by Chip Dunham:

Gotta love a good poop joke.  Nothing else to add. Just pointing out that some days, you need a good poop joke. 


Momma by Mell Lazarus:

Hell, no, Momma. Francis is banging all the ladies!!! He's single, unattached, scoring with the ladies, and no doubt riddled with venereal diseases.  


Thanks as always for reading, all! Have a great night...the weekend is right around the corner.

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The Daily Comics Review: Terrible Tuesday

by Hal Bent

I don't know if I meant for Terrible Tuesday to be terrible comic strips, or I meant to be terrible towards the creators and rip their life's work and achievement that they publish for their adoring public.  Hmmmm.  

Adam@Home by Brian Basset:

In the defense of Adam's wife here, its not like his mustache is getting within two feet of her lips at any time.  Her loving comes from Craigslist. 


Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II:

The missing part of the panel before the ellipsis reads: "For the meager $1.67, your life savings you scraped together to go out for dinner and feel like a normal human beings...".


Off The Mark by Mark Parisi:

Look at that smirk and smile on Mr. Peanut.  Freaky-deaky!  Putting a little Mr. Peanut in the green M&M, wow. I can't get over Mr. Peanut's facial expression: I'm going to be drifting off to sleep and see that smarmy smile and "GAAHHHHH!".


Momma by Mell Lazarus:

Francis is passing STDs across all of Craigslist's Casual Encounters page.  Alas, Momma can only allow her son to infect so many per month per the local Board of Health.

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Blizzard of Comics

Whoo-hoo.  A rare day off as work is cancelled due to the impending blizzard here in the Northeast.  Time to peruse the comics and set my snark level to HIGH.  Hard to type with my fingers-crossed hoping this storm turns to rain and blows out to sea, but let's give it a shot: 

Bliss by Harry Bliss:

See, I say latched on.  I latched onto my wife and didn't let her shake me, no matter how hard she tried. Accept it and embrace, baldy. Attractive wives with less attractive guys is only supposed to happen in sitcoms, not real life. So if you're lucky enough to latch-on, don't ruin it by rolling your eyes and making that "disappointed" face.  Put your arm around her shoulder, say "Damn right I latched onto this sweet piece of ass, right here!) and let the glowering chick in the red sweater with the glass of wine have to make the uncomfortable "is he serious or joking? Do I chuckle? Are they fighting? Is he sarcastic?" face and then give a half-hearted chuckle/snort and walk away in embarrassment.   (Not that I've ever done this at a Christmas party at my wife's work or anything. Why do you ask?)

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Momma by Mell Lazarus:

This old bag (I never knew her name was Sonya--she doesn't look like a Sonya.  More of a Louise or Betty) is always complaining her grown children don't come to visit her. So she finally gets them all there for dinner (and no sign of her hated daughter-in-law) and what happens? Sonya/Momma is bitching and moaning about them sponging off her for dinner.  What else does she have to offer them? Scintillating conversation? 80 inch television? Pleasant demeanor? 

Food is what brings a family together. I hate to think of parents/in-laws complaining about family coming and visiting them.  So does that mean she really doesn't really want her miserable kids around?  Or, maybe she's just really a mean-spirited old biddy.

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Compu-toon by Charles Boyce:

Grammar police! Wheeeee-oooh-wheeeee-oooh! (Gotta validate that Liberal Arts degree my wife worked so hard to pay off).  Were these castaways wondering or wandering? If wandering, where the heck did they wander towards.  What is that on the left side of the panel under the sun? It looks like shrubbery. Are these idiots a 50 foot wade through waist-high water from the main land? What rescue options did they try? Are they IT Professionals? Is that the "Main menu" joke?  Maybe "joke" should be in quotes, as I'm missing the attempted humor here.

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Working It Out by Charlos Gary:

Remember when Starbucks started expanding across the country and the populace was enchanted and/or confused by terms like latte, venti, cappuccino, and grande?  Of course you don't, unless you're over 35 years old and remember 25 to 30 years ago when Starbucks exploded across the nation. Walk Like an Egyptian was the hit single and the Bangles were blowing up MTV.  More important than this outdated attempt at humor, I saw Bangles lead singer Susanna Hoffs on VH1 on one of those idiot shows that are great to put on the TV in the background when doing something else and I cannot believe that she is 53.  Not only that, but she married the geek who directed the Austin Powers movies, Jay Roach?  Did I mention not only is she 53, but Hoffs is still smoking hot. 


Fort Knox by Paul Jon:

This General is in the mood for some general cuddle-time around the fire with Army boy here. I don't see any graham crackers in hand, so which guy is the chocolate and which is the marshmallow? Didn't take long for "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to end for the General to start making propositions. Look at the facial expression on Army boy in the last panel...he is FREAKING OUT AT THE PROSPECT OF "MAKING S'MORES" WITH HIS COMMANDING OFFICER.    


Love Is... by Kim Casali, conceived by and drawn by Bill Asprey:

These freaky, naked Dutch folk (who were big in the late '70s/early '80s, as I recall) are actually wearing clothes! Praise the Lord, this Love is actually has the giant-head character wearing clothes. That's worth celebrating.


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Bound and Gagged by Dana Summers:

Humpty Dumpty was that kid in high school with the Pink Floyd t-shirt who was stoned all day? Don't seem to recall those kids having a bow-tie, bowler derby, and spats.  

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Super Bowl Sunday Funnies

Since most comics today were focused on the Super Bowl and how most people watch only for the commercials, I'm specifically weeding those out, because it seems it was too tempting to take the easy way out.  Or maybe I should make a point to ridicule them all. No, twenty or so comics with the same punchline on the same day deserve to be ignored. Instead, let's look at some more interesting fare:

Does anyone like Ziggy? Seriously, is there a crowd of 50/60-year-olds who worshiped at the Church of Ziggy in the late 70's still opening their newspapers and chortling at the adventures of the big nosed-no-pants-wearing Zigmeister?  So forget the stupid joke.  Voted off the iceberg? Like voted off the island? A Survivor reference. Like a joke that was relevant in 2000 used in 2013? Well, I guess it's the same century, so that's kind of a win for Ziggy.  

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Wait, a spilled milkshake causes the brakes to not work?  How does that make someone stick to the seat?  What hellish physics is at work with this milkshake from...what is that burger jockey wearing in the first panel? Is he working at BoyScoutBurgers? What did he put in the shake to make it so sticky? What is the need for water being so desperate to drive off a cliff instead of driving to a car wash?  Where did the snorkel come from in the final panel? Is she supposed to still be stuck to the seat of the convertible she's driving? 

Forget all those messed up logic gaps, why am I even reading Broom Hilda?

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My mother was a huge Pogo fan, so I had access to numerous copies of various collected Pogo comics.  In fact, I probably learned more about the Cold War reading Pogo than I ever learned in all the History classes I took in school combined.  That, and I can sing along to "Deck us all with Boston Charlie."

As far as the strip..ehh. It's like saying: "I saw an obese orange tabby cat and it at no time did it sit up and try to steal my lasagna, throw an upper-cut at a dog, nor make any unfunny or mean-spirited comments to its owner. I never realized what an inaccurate comic strip Garfield was."  I guess the lady wearing the Kareem Abdul-Jabbar goggles to do the dishes is just making a snide comment to express disdain for donut-goatee's extreme ignorance and inability to see a comic strip as different from reality.  To that, then I say bravo, goggle-wearing lady. Bravo. 

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Momma is blind without her glasses: Age-related macular degeneration is such a laugh.  

One theme often employed in the strip is that the title character is always trying to get her youngest daughter, Marylou, married off. Her youngest son, Francis, is a never-do-well slacker who can't hold a job, etc. So the "joke" (I use that term loosely here) in the strip is that she is trying to get Marylou together with her nice-looking friend.  Now, I don't know if she's referring to the snowman, or the guy building the snowman with her, who is none other than her brother Francis.  I'm not sure which it is, but one is not funny and the other is just plain disturbing! 

It's scary when the lesser of two evils is that Momma wants her daughter to hook up with a snowman and makes some snow-babies.

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Sorry, I know I said I was ignoring the Super Bowl themed comics but bare rear in the Sunday Funnies is too much to ignore. Personally, I'm disappointed that the censors don't have water dripping since we all know she took a little fanny-dip into the bowl. 

Now this begs the bigger question I've always pondered (I have nine older sisters: believe me, I was trained to be putting the toilet seat down after making numero uno from from my first day of toilet training.), if these angry women with their wet heinies are not looking to see if the seat is down before sitting down on the can, what happens when a well-trained, considerate male such as myself puts BOTH seats down (both the seat and the cover, I guess they'd be called).  If the cover is down over the seat over the toilet...well, that won't be pretty.  Is that why we buy the fuzzy covers for the toilet seat covers? Is it an early warning system? 

See, these are the real issues.  This is the eternal question that begs an answer. Oh yeah. Guys, don't ask your wife/fiancee/girlfriend/etc for an answer...you will regret it. Trust the old man with experience and just apologize (even if it was your friend/relative/child), put the seat down, and ponder the question in your own mind.

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Have a great Super Bowl Sunday! As always, thanks for reading!

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Happy Pi Day!

Happy pi day everybody! Now on to comics review!

The Born Looser

Run away, Jacob Yaeger! This man may have been born a looser, but I'm pretty sure his aura of excessive personal failure can rub off on those around him.

Boom Hilda

No Prozac for you, Broom Hilda. You'll just have to soldier through your crippling depression.

The Buckets

Over 8 hours of continuous sleep? Sheesh, this guy should be a little more grateful that his body clock is fully cooperating.

Cornered

I don't think longer legs make you any better at jumping. Maybe the opposite actually. If this guy was playing basketball, he would have less of a need to jump as he would already be closer to the basket. The gag would probably work better if the employer was interviewing a frog or kangaroo—you know, something that can actually jump.

Momma

Momma's worst fears and nightmares are confusing. So which is the main worry here? That her son is a beggar, or that he is disillusioned? Also, I don't see how demanding $2 as opposed to $1 would make anyone think themselves a businessman.

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Alien Invasion Presented by Nike

Animal Crackers

And a happy day after Valentine's to you too!

Birdbrains

Um. Why do the aliens have the Nike swoosh on their shirts? Okay, it is backwards, but still...

F Minus

Is that an expresso cup? That wouldn't be my beverage of choice upon learning that my child is a moron. Beer would be better, or perhaps even something stronger.

Momma

It's not the house that's falling apart, just Momma.

The Grizzwells

This strip anthropomorphizes its characters so much (the bear is married and has an office job supposedly) that it is refreshing to be reminded that they are wild animals and still crave the decomposing flesh of other creatures.

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Flipping the Turkey

Happy day before Turkey Day, everyone! Enjoy your stuffed bird, cranberries, potatoes, and such. Time for some comics review!

Barney & Clyde

I love the way Cynthia is smiling in the last panel as if she's thinking, "Ha! Chew on that!" But really, how hard is it to look up the etymology of "etymology?" Apparently very hard when the dictionary you are holding is only 4 pages long.

Cul de Sac

Gross. I don't want to know what kind of old person goo that could be.

Momma

Speaking of gross, is this Francis's first introduction to deodorant? No wonder he is jobless and alone.

Shoe

"My Uncle? He's a lazy, good-for-nothing couch potato. Thanks for asking!"

Rhymes with Orange

This gives added meaning to the term, "flipping the bird." Sorry, I couldn't resist.

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A new day and new comics

Hello Cara here and I'm back for Friday updates!
This is now my new day so keep an eye you Friday evenings for my posts.
I have a lot of comics I found to make up for lack of posts so lets jump right in.

Wizard of ID:

Um pardon me but isn't it Robin Hood? Maybe I'm wrong but I think the name is free use so there's really no reason to change the name unless it was an accident. And if it was an accident that just makes Parker's lack of caring all the more evident.

Neurotica:

Maybe this is because its my first time running into this strip but why is that old man there and why is he so excited to see that girl ready to eat ice cream? ...On second thought maybe I dont want to know.

Momma:

Didn't Momma just do this joke like last week except her son was by himself and with a different sign. Thats lazy even for this strip.

Heart Of the City:

I love Heart of the City. It doesn't always make me laugh but it never makes me angry and confused. This particular strip make me giggle a bit.

Fat Cats:

So the joke is they are just naming times based on what they are eating? That's pretty weak.

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