Another Rough Day at the Gym

Happy Monday, everyone.  Hope everyone had a super Super Bowl Sunday yesterday.  Monday means new comics, so let's jump into it.  And in case I forget to say it later, thanks so much for stopping by!

Bliss by Harry Bliss and Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich:

This is great for everyone with the gym membership that, 5 weeks into the new year, is already dormant and unused.  I always hated going to the gym.  These two comics sum up two of the most annoying aspects of the hated gym experience: muscle-bound phys. ed. majors hitting on your girl at the gym and fat asses on the exer-bike.  If Bliss was drawn at another angle, you'd see "Mr. Benches 250" flexing his arm as he feels up some guys girlfriend as part of his "job duty".  Of course, in Real Life Adventures the blond wife was at the same gym with the same trainer....she was loving all that attention she doesn't get from tubby here.  A different angle, and you'd see the Cheetos, ding-dongs, ho-ho's and beer on the side table.  Why go to the gym when she can see the sweaty butt prints on tubby's chair when he drags himself to the bathroom for his only strenuous activity of the day.

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 The Born Loser, The by Chip Sansom:

Yeah, there was something wrong with the first honeymoon, Buddy.  Big problems! (It's funny because the Born Loser has erectile dysfunction.)

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Baldo by Hector D. Cantu and Carlos Castellanos:

Is Baldo still in high school?  Is his father that annoyed with his kid that he's desperately trying to  marry him off and get him out of his hair?  There's a girl you like? Let me tell you about my experience.  Too bad it ended at four panels, add another two and you'd have: PANEL FIVE: Of course, the honeymoon was horrible." PANEL SIX: I had erectile dysfunction like that Born Loser!"

Seriously, look at that expression on the father's face when his son wants to have a serious father-son talk.  He hates this kid.  He wants no part of this conversation.  Do you get the impression that Baldo tries to have these talks every thirty minutes? Earlier that day, the conversation went: BALDO: "Dad, can we talk? I was pleasuring myself yesterday with your mustache scissors..."

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Free Range by Bill Whitehead:

Wait a sec, where is her voice coming from?  Is it coming from his...It is! Way to kick it up a notch, Free Range!

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Angry Little Girls by Lela Lee:

"I was looking for love in all the wrong places. Looking for love in too many places."  Nothing like a little 1980 country music by Johnny Lee from the Urban Cowboy soundtrack.  Of course, maybe little blond girl needs to stop being so negative. Or stop looking so hard and coming across as desperate.  Maybe she's unlikable.  How does she treat her friends?  Maybe she should hang out at the gym.  I bet there's a personal trainer more than happy to feel her up.

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Café con Leche by Charlos Gary:

Wait, was this idiot with the 1990's hipster goatee was passed out the last six months?  That's a significant baby bump.  Gotta be looking about six months pregnant there.  Where the heck is he going? Buying baby clothes? That's what I did.  Potency! Virility! Manliness!  Shout it from the rooftops. This guy is disgrace to real men.  Either that, or he knows she just got back from three months abroad.

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Last Kiss by John Lustig:

I have to put Last Kiss on here because I've been such a fan of the strip for so long.  John Lustig  bought the rights to a bunch of old romance comics and has been re-writing them with his unique humor.  (Plus, he accepted my Facebook friend request! Tee-hee,giddy fan boy alert!)  Consistently funny, always unique. Give him a read here: http://www.lastkisscomics.com

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OK, now I'm done. Thanks as always for reading! (Hey, I remembered.)

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Independence Day

Happy Independence Day everyone!  Now on to comics review!

Break of Day

RIP Peter Parker.  Actually has Spiderman ever tried to pursue Black Widow in the comics?  Or vice versa?  That would be too perfectly cheesy.

Brevity

Groan.  Train humor.

Buni

That's the meanest looking clown I've ever seen.  Looks like he gave Buni a pretty good deal though.

Rabbits Against Magic

A thought for the British?  Like a moment of silence to remember their defeat?  Such a cheeky gesture would probably just annoy them.

Alright, that's all for today.  Enjoy your festivities, everyone!  Stay Safe.  See you next week.

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Horrors Unbeholden

Meekrat here, taking a break from making comics for the DCR because I need to figure out a way to do it that meshes well with a thrice-weekly comic. Still reviewing them, though, so here it is:

Prickly City, 05/10/2012:

From the first time I read this strip on the Houston Chronicle's site, I have hated it. Not as much as certain other comic strips (I'm looking at you, Edison Lee) but it's still a pretty terrible example of how to do a political comic strip. It's heavy-handed with unlikable characters, and while it's been trying, bless its heart, it's not nearly enough. For example, this week we've been looking into Winslow the Coyote's history that no one asked or cared about and is proving to be him inserting himself into various media properties awkwardly. Today, it's a poor mesh of "The Godfather" and "Bonnie and Clyde". About the only redeeming thing is that Carmen readily acknowledges that no one cares. It's entirely possible that if this strip was more self-aware then it would be better overall. Perhaps in a year I won't hate it so much. We shall see, I suppose.

Crankshaft, 05/10/2012:

Meanwhile, we have this Crankshaft which has always been one of those comics which exist but are only really on my radar because of where it takes place and how relentlessly grim they are. Today, for example, we're forced to contemplate an elderly woman in lingerie and, unless I'm misreading the second panel, the fact that Crankshaft likes to wear lingerie as well. Yes, you could argue that he simply admires it on its intended audience, but this is Crankshaft we're talking about. Anything he can do to undermine happiness will be done.

Break of Day/Bizarro: 05/10/2012

Finally, we have two comic strips that feature Frankenstein's Monster holding drinks. This sort of synergy is always interesting to behold. Retired Frankenstein looks very melancholic, though.

That's it. I might be back with a comic-like thing next week, but if you really want to see new comics from me, just go to my Emporium of Nonsensery.

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Wednesday Roundup

Alley Oop

Really? It's been nearly two months since this "I can't tell which of these women is my special lady friend because I'm pea-brained moron" plot-line started. That's two months for a roughly five minute conversation. Is this cartoonist so bereft of ideas that such an inane plot-point must be stretched out ad nauseam? On the plus side, we should get about a week's worth of strips depicting Oola slapping Oop across his fat face for guessing incorrectly.

The Argyle Sweater

Justin Bieber invades the comics page. Nothing is sacred. Nothing is safe.

Betty

Pretty Humdrum if you're just watching TV and not using your phone to talk to your friends or to look up directions to someplace more interesting than the local Starbucks.

Bound and Gaged

I'm no expert on fairly tales, or even the Disney adaption of those fairy tales, but I'm pretty sure it was Snow White lying in a glass casket in the middle of the forest. Sleeping Beauty had nice digs in a castle somewhere.

Break of Day

While literal interpretations of common expressions can be a good source of humor and can result in some delightful absurdism, I'm fairly certain this strip illustrates the exact scenario from where this saying originated, and thus is not funny at all.

Love is

Run away, androgynous cherub-man! Run away!

Overboard

Lame pun aside, kudos to the Overboard crew for doing some actual pirating. It's been a long time.

The Grizzwells

Stomach churning innuendo of forest critter on forest critter action? Check. Irrational discussion of workplace activities despite no depiction of anything actually resembling work? Check. Yup, today's Grizzwells covers all its usual topics.

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Passing Stones

Peter here again. Today was a busy day, but on to the comics review!

Adam@Home

So Adam's injury turns out to be a kidney stone. I'm glad it's not some lingering back injury or something like that. Adam whining like a baby while his family waits on him would have been played out in maybe a day or two. Now we'll all be treated to the how-can-it-miss? comedy gold of Adam passing his stone.

Animal Crackers

News flash: you're the only tortoise with a sunroof because no one else wants to drill a hole right into his spine just so that he can stick his head out like some ridiculous sock puppet.

Alley Oop

I'm certain the different colored dresses will make figuring out who is who easy enough. Now as for figuring out Alley Oop's ridiculous plot? Not so much.

Break of Day

Uh... yeah it does. At least try to.

F Minus

Wow. That little girl must be really dumb if she's sticking fries in her eye instead of her mouth.

Tank McNamara

No name? I'd call it "Whiny Little Twit disease."

Okay, that's all for today. See you next week!

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Dude, it's a bear!

It's Wednesday again, which means it's time for some more comics review brought to you by Peter.

Get Fuzzy

How is Satchel familiar with a Goya painting? I thought he is supposed to be dumb as rocks. Rob is often seen smacking his head is disbelief at having to explain another common expression to his linguistically challenged pets. Now one of them is putting together artsy-fartsy costumes. The inconsistency of the characters knowledge base is one of my few gripes about this strip.

The Argyle Sweater

Question: Why is there a shotgun blast in the tent? Was this man supposed to be firing through the fabric? I don't think that gun could even fit in there.

Break of Day

Insomnia and a paralyzing self-awareness? Check. The mental capacity to count sheep? Not so much. Yeah, this kid's development is coming along just nicely.

The Grizzwells

How does this strip manage to mangle such an easy pun? The final panel implies that his bear cousin is bisexual (referencing a classic Seinfeld episode in the process). If bipolar disorder is too sensitive a subject to make light of in a comic strip why bother with the stupid pun in the first place?

Rubes

The depressed/irritated look on Scarecrow's face suggests that he is not "clearing his head" or meditating, but rather his floppy, straw-filled limbs have become twisted and stuck, and instead of helping him out of his predicament, his "friends" are using the opportunity to poke fun of his mental deficiencies yet again. It won't be long before he snaps and kills them all.

Dude and Dude

Kind of funny. But I hate the cut-and-paste artwork. Dude, spend some time drawing your strip! There are cartoonists out there that fully illustrate multiple strips a day. If you don't have the time, have one of them do it.

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