Hmm, it appears that my DCR writer friends have forgotten to post the past couple of days.  It also seems that I have forgotten to post on Saturday.  I have no excuse.  On with the comic blurbs.

Marvin:

Old yearbooks can be a source of endless entertainment.  I enjoyed looking at my dad's old high school yearbook.  Oddly enough, he looked like Paul from "The Wonder Years." Yes, nerdy and with big, thick glasses.  Actually, now that I think about it, it's kind of sad.

F-Minus:

Yes!  And we'll give it better seats, with backs, and change the handlebars for a wheel...  Oh, and of course, only one side will be able to steer.  It would also probably be more efficient to take the engines out of the cycles and just put one in front.  Oh, wouldn't it be great if it had more than two seats?  And a trunk in the back to put stuff in?  And it will have to have a radio, and some A/C and heat.  Oh!  And cup holders.  Can't forget those.  When it rains, there will need to be some way to wipe the glass on the front of it...

Yes, it will be great!  We'll call it a "car."

Snuffy Smith:

...even though Snuffy's obviously been in there longer than you have.  Only three days, though.  Hey, where'd they get those pens from, anyway?  Aren't they supposed to scratch the marks into the wall?  Prisons are so cushy these days.

Deflocked:

That's disgusting.  I wouldn't give this kid any candy if I saw him coming up to my door.  Well...  maybe I would, but not if he was one of those greedy kids who didn't even say "thank you" after you give them something.  I don't have to give you anything, you know.

Speaking of Iron Man, I went as him once.  Of course, I just put an ironing board on my back and carried around an iron, but I was still Iron Man.

Agnes:

Unfortunately, not only does the metaphor not work, it isn't even a metaphor.  He used "like," which makes it a simile.  If he said "The mind is a sock drawer," it would be a metaphor.

So, next week, we discuss the differences between allegories, parables, and fables.  Don't be late!

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Non-Web Comics Again (Except for one)

To kick things off, yet another appearance of the Incredible Hulk, courtesy of Wednesday's Bizarro:

Decent and well-drawn, but it would be much better if Hollywood hadn't already tackled Twain like a hundred times already, probably. Still pretty good. On with the rest:

Gasoline Alley, 11/12/09

Gasoline Alley is currently about a fat woman wandering around a graveyard and proceeding to let a grave-digger and his kitty die in an open grave. It's a laugh riot?

Marvin, 11/12/09

The stupid little dog should realize that human teeth are generally much less effective at ripping and tearing at things than canine teeth. However, if this leads to him being dismembered by some other cartoon dog (probably Marmaduke, as that's what he tends to do) then I'm all for it.

Bound and Gagged, 11/12/09

Today, the guy who does this strip proves that he has no idea how a Kindle really works and professes a belief that it can grow and shrink depending on what book it has upon it. Now, I'm not too up on Kindle's specifications myself, but I'm guessing it could hold "War and Peace" a thousand times over with no trouble, and that it can't grow or shrink at all. Also, I've seen pictures, and it's more of a sleek looking tablet than a big orange box. Why can't these cartoonists take two seconds to research what things look like, at least? It's on Amazon's freaking front page, for god's sake, and clicking the link lets me know that it can hold thousands of books. That took about thirty seconds. Not that hard.

Basic Instructions, 11/12/09

Continuing with Bryce's web-comic spotlight this week, here's the occasionally brilliant and always useful "Basic Instructions". I'm not going to go into the whole thing here, as it's 9:30 and I haven't slept yet (the sole perk of being unemployed), but it's good. I mainly put this up here because I wanted to talk about how I've never seen the original "The Prisoner" or "V", but they're things I've always meant to see. Right now I'm watching the "V" remake, and it's pretty good. I'm enjoying it. I plan on watching "The Prisoner" remake as well. So yeah, I've degenerated into talking about what I'm watching on TV these days. Time to wrap things up. See you tomorrow, folks, when I'll mourn the passing of "The Disney Afternoon" and "TGIF".

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I Could Use Some Help

You ever have one of those days where you screw everything up? That's been my day.

This one is late because I forgot to hit post when I finished it.

Marvin 10/27/09

1. Marvin is an infant and clearly not capable of using a computer with such ease.

2. All dairy products come from the same source if you go back far enough.



Funky Winkerbean 10/27/09

That cop is being really passive-aggressive. Which is weird, usually cops are just aggressive.
And you'd think he'd be really aggressive since he's forced to appear in Funky Winkerbean. He might as well start shooting because he'll be crippled or catch a rare disease or just plain die soon anyway.



Todd the Dinosaur 10/27/09

Is it really necessary to put HEFTY on the bag? Would anyone be confused if it wasn't there? I'm actually more confused because it is there. Does Todd get a kickback from Hefty? That'd be a weird product placement deal.



9 to 5 10/27/09

theendisnear.com doesn't have any of those things. It's a pretty crappy use of such a great domain name.



Bozo 10/27/09

Bobbing for apples isn't all that fun. I can't imagine it would be anymore fun with the entire future of humanity hanging in the balance. Which would be weird because if you didn't get one humans don't have to leave Paradise and if you did get one we end up with the crappy world we have today. So why would you even try?

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Dead, sick, and fired. COMIC STRIPS!

Today is a pretty terrible day. Captain Lou Albano died, XY is sick and I got fired. Which works out, because now I have plenty of time to cover for XY while he recovers and we both have time to grieve the lost captain. Let's remember him at his best:


Rest in peace, Captain. Comic strip commentary now. Check it, yo.

Brewster Rockit, 10/14/2009

I like this comic strip. It's neat and fun and all that jazz. But while some may consider a hot dog to be a kind of sandwich, I do not. Why couldn't he just say he dressed him up as a hot dog?

Bliss, 10/14/2009

What's with the influx of Incredible Hulk cameos and jokes? There was one a few days ago and another I'm too lazy to find, as well as a whole week and a half or so of Mallard Fillmore co-opting the character and being all like, "Let's comment on current events because I'm Mallard Fillmore and I'm a really bad comic strip!"

Brilliant Mind of Edision Lee, 10/14/2009

Speaking of really bad comic strips, here's Edison Lee being political. Now, for the record, when he's not being political the strip isn't too bad. However, this is overshadowed by the fact that when the strip first entered my radar, it was political EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR MONTHS AND FOREVER TAINTED ITSELF FOR ME. This is why I really don't like this comic strip, as well as Mister Hambrock's less than professional behavior a few weeks ago with the whole "Wild Wild West" thing. If it wasn't for those two things, I wouldn't mind the strip at all.

Marvin, 10/14/09

Why is the one Earth dog able to talk with a normal speech bubble, while the other one is using a thought bubble? I'm not even going to get into the space dog. I don't really care about what's going on with him.

Pluggers, 10/14/09

You know, the joke I was going to use here is basically the same sort of thing Fruhlinger said on his blog, and the only thing I have left to lose is any sort of originality and talent I have. So, really, I have nothing left to lose. Good night, people!

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Conservative preacher

It's Thursday, which means that you people are stuck with me again. A terrible fate, I know, but let's just get it over with:

Better Half, 10/1/09

Thank god the panel cuts out at the stomach so we don't have to see all of this self-improvement endeavor.

Dennis the Menace, 10/1/09

Imagine if one of the "Dennis the Menace" movies they made were about him as a teenager. Barring any sort of personal growth, Dennis would most likely be a sadistic jerk who delighted in tormenting others. The climax of the movie would be when he finally gives Mister Wilson a heart attack, and while Dennis would briefly reflect on the events which caused him to cause another's death, he would then laugh and hop in his car and drive off somewhere to toy with a bunch of teenagers and probably date-rape at least one of them. It's important to note that for that exercise I simply assumed that Dennis was as menacing as he used to be. The Dennis we have now wouldn't be a hell-raiser, unless you were an especially conservative preacher.

Hi and Lois, 10/1/09

Speaking of conservative preachers, they'd have issues with Ditto's choice of hairstyle. Oh, and Ditto? You're a Mort Walker character. Absolutely nothing can make you look cool.

Marvin, 10/1/09

The same preacher would be pleased that the hellspawn Marvin was horrified by that girl and her mysticism. I'm not so sure seances are something that naturally lend themselves to goths, though I admit to not being 100% sure about that. Then again, this is Marvin so I shouldn't really care about it, as long as she's making him uncomfortable. That makes her a hero for our age.

Dick Tracy, 10/1/09

I have no idea what's going on in the third panel, unless Pops the Clown is forcing Ringo to perform for his amusement.

Frog Applause, 10/1/09

So the llama is sad because the woman won't sleep with him anymore, but the woman says that the llama can watch if he wants. So that's bestiality and voyeurism right there. Also, that llama can probably do a lot better than that woman.

La Cucaracha, 10/1/09

First and foremost, does anyone remember the Boondocks at all? According to Wikipedia, the strip's been over for over three years and the show hasn't aired a new episode in nearly two years. I realize that this parody stemmed from the fact that Boondocks was over, but isn't doing it three years later sort of odd? Second, is the joke here just what Kayne West did, or that he has terrible taste in comic strips?

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Monday Funday, Some Say No Way!

Family Circus 5/4/09

He must be really sick since he's talking in to a calculator. Half the people reading this are hoping Billy gets better and the other half are hoping it's terminal. Well actually since this is the DCR it's probably more like 90% swine flu, 10% AIDS.


Marvin 5/4/09

What does it say about Mallard Filmore when Marvin is a better political cartoon than you? I think that dog is using a line from a Pennywise song.


Wee Pals 5/4/09

Connie does her best Donald Rumsfeld impersonation here, asking herself a question and then answering it, all for the purpose of being a total bitch. We all know Ralph has some serious confidence issues - due to the fact that his parents hate him. What does Connie have against giant gorillas from remote lost islands anyways? That guy killed three T-Rex in a fight all by himself. TOTAL BAD ASS.

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Additional Comics Review For You

It's been awhile since I've posted here as I've been busy with my own site (www.tauycreek.com) but I'm gonna try to post at least once a week but we'll see how that goes.

9 Chickweed Lane 11/15/08

Why is the competition filming secretly outside the hotel rooms?  I call invasion of privacy on that.

Momma 11/15/08

I don't know what would be more embarrassing:  still being under your mother's control at that age, letting each passer-by know you still recieve an allowance or that Mell Lazarus is still putting out this horrible comic after 38 years.

Family Circus 11/15/08

Has what in forward, reverse or park?  Billy does realize that worms don't have gear shifts right?  They are too small and are not cars.

Apartment 3G 11/15/08

Oh boy!  Everybody knows people with neckerchiefs are AWESOME!!

Mallard Fillmore 11/15/08

I used to work customer service and Mallard is an idiot.

Luann 11/15/08

All right, it's time for this storyline to end.  I'm tired of all this calendar fawning.  It's growing old and my head is about to explode from all the innuendo.

Marvin 11/15/08

"Ming-Ming, please don't talk to me while I'm changing your diaper.  It's kind of disturbing."

Pluggers 11/15/08

Well, from reading the last few years of Pluggers, pluggers would like more money, better cars, better jobs, well-behaved pets, loving wives, smart kids and healthy bodies.

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May 7th comics for the year 2008

Oh the dentist! Just so you all know my teeth are in good health but I need to floss more often. Today was an exercise in why web comics are superior to the serials. When dinosaur comics, which is always the same except for the dialog, beats out EVERY SINGLE SERIAL COMIC in making me laugh you know it's a bad day to be stuck reading the paper.


Overcompensating 5/7/08














I work in a city full of these people and every time I see one walking down the street I also puke a little bit. OC is my favorite comic that is still being printed/updated regularly and with good reason. Hipster douche bags go to hell!


Dinosaur Comics 5/7/08
















Honestly it is hard to write about comics that I like, because it is so much easier to belittle trash that to talk up something hilarious. Thanks to my weird sense of humor I am one of the few who love DC and I'm regularly amazed that Ryan North can keep coming up with this stuff day after day for years on end.


Adam@Home 5/7/08








There is nothing inherently horrifying about Adam today. But when you really think about it, who runs for city council? Who are your Mayor, Police Chief and Assistant Police Chief? Old nasty men. Feel free to reread the comic now and take special notice of the eager look on Adam's face.


Marvin 5/7/08








Marvin is quickly climbing the ranks as my most hated comics, to the point where if this current trend continues I will have to stop reading it in order to preserve my own sanity. The abject absurdity of a baby writing an email to another baby asking a question about learning how to talk almost makes my brain explode.


The Norm 5/7/08








Personally my favorite adjective to use beyond "awesome" or "incredible" is "tits". Norms choice of "church" has to be called in to question, because even those of us who may attend church would almost never describe church as awesome or great or even "tits". Although that addition might make church "incredible".

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The Tuesday that is the 6th of May, 2008

Oh good lord how is it only Tuesday? After a weekend that was just too short I can't stop thinking about next weekend. One day at a time.


Close to Home 5/6/08





















Now readers in the daily newspaper wont notice this in black and white, but vampires are pasty white creatures, they are NOT green. Unless it is some sort of zombie vampire, and in that case the man standing next to him should be horrified and running for his life.


Mark Trail 5/6/08








Nothing really obvious in todays Mark Trail, but all these close-ups of Andy have really shown me that he is a fucking monster of a dog. We are talking Clifford the big red dog monster size. His head is twice the size of a human head. No way they are going to try and kidnap him, they are going to run for their lives for fear of being eaten by that Goliath.


Marvin 5/6/08








More of the same ridiculousness from Marvin today that we saw yesterday. Little kids writing emails and bizarre sexual looks. What the hell is this blue thing on the desk? This strip is total nonsense.


TOBY 5/6/08









Oh TOBY thank god for you. On a mediocre Tuesday you're a shining ray of sunlight in this dim gray world. If you don't like this strip get your funny bone checked out ASAP.

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Monday April 5, 2008 comics!

After a weekend spent trying fix my computer I ultimately succeeded in getting the machine working great once again. I failed to update the blog though and when you have as many readers as I do I just have to apologize to all....... wait, nobody reads this. Anyways today we got tons of comics, way better than last Monday!


Days of Thunder 5/5/08























As as far as the various single panel comics out there go, Days of Thunder falls about in the middle of the spectrum. It is drawn very basic and the humor is very dry but it is seldom boring or even stupid. I liked todays comic very much so I figured I would share it.


Edge City 5/5/08








I worked for 3 months at a big box electronics store and I have to say this is not the way it would have worked. The customer in this comic doesn't even get angry at the clerk. In the real world the customer would insist we look in the back of the store and make sure we don't have any more. Then the clerk would need to get on the phone with the other store and make sure they pulled the item and set it aside. The fact of the matter is it's cheaper almost always to buy your electronics off the internet, but that just isn't funny.


Mark Trail 5/5/08








Talking birds and hands in this Monday edition of MT. As the scheme has now been hatched we can see Mark hasn't lost his touch for outsmarting all manner of outlaws. Apparently the town paper has nothing to report ever if Mark can get a story about how much he loves his dog some front page love.


Marvin 5/5/08








Apart from Marvin's "come hither" stare in the first frame this strip alarms me to the fact that 2 year olds no have access to computers, the internet, and their own email addresses. We're seeing carpal tunnel earlier and earlier with these kids.


The Phantom 5/5/08








The introduction of a new plot line and none of the panels make any sense, whether you read them separately or together. Oh Ghost-Who-Walks you really need to get your shit together.


Slylock Fox 5/5/08








The better mystery might have been what the hell Slylock fox was doing up in a tree in the middle of the field. Solution - He was going to hang himself after he found out his detective office got foreclosed on. Damn adjustable rates! But as he looked down and saw the big ape with the cash he loosened the noose and apprehended the criminal! With that reward coming his way he can pay to fill his gas tank!


The Amazing Spider-Man 5/5/08








Today we got an all too close look at the bedroom behavior of Mr. and Mrs. Spider-man. Peter apparently likes to be tied up with his own sticky webbing. I'm sure there's a whole online community devoted to the idea.


The Fusco Brothers 5/5/08








This is the first time the Fuscos have actually made me laugh. Ever. Congrats guys, lets work on making it a more regular thing.


We The Robots 5/5/08


















For finally chronicling the innermost thoughts of all men as the spend their time toiling away on a patch of grass, We The Robots gets my comic of the day award, woo hoo!

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