Conservative preacher

It's Thursday, which means that you people are stuck with me again. A terrible fate, I know, but let's just get it over with:

Better Half, 10/1/09

Thank god the panel cuts out at the stomach so we don't have to see all of this self-improvement endeavor.

Dennis the Menace, 10/1/09

Imagine if one of the "Dennis the Menace" movies they made were about him as a teenager. Barring any sort of personal growth, Dennis would most likely be a sadistic jerk who delighted in tormenting others. The climax of the movie would be when he finally gives Mister Wilson a heart attack, and while Dennis would briefly reflect on the events which caused him to cause another's death, he would then laugh and hop in his car and drive off somewhere to toy with a bunch of teenagers and probably date-rape at least one of them. It's important to note that for that exercise I simply assumed that Dennis was as menacing as he used to be. The Dennis we have now wouldn't be a hell-raiser, unless you were an especially conservative preacher.

Hi and Lois, 10/1/09

Speaking of conservative preachers, they'd have issues with Ditto's choice of hairstyle. Oh, and Ditto? You're a Mort Walker character. Absolutely nothing can make you look cool.

Marvin, 10/1/09

The same preacher would be pleased that the hellspawn Marvin was horrified by that girl and her mysticism. I'm not so sure seances are something that naturally lend themselves to goths, though I admit to not being 100% sure about that. Then again, this is Marvin so I shouldn't really care about it, as long as she's making him uncomfortable. That makes her a hero for our age.

Dick Tracy, 10/1/09

I have no idea what's going on in the third panel, unless Pops the Clown is forcing Ringo to perform for his amusement.

Frog Applause, 10/1/09

So the llama is sad because the woman won't sleep with him anymore, but the woman says that the llama can watch if he wants. So that's bestiality and voyeurism right there. Also, that llama can probably do a lot better than that woman.

La Cucaracha, 10/1/09

First and foremost, does anyone remember the Boondocks at all? According to Wikipedia, the strip's been over for over three years and the show hasn't aired a new episode in nearly two years. I realize that this parody stemmed from the fact that Boondocks was over, but isn't doing it three years later sort of odd? Second, is the joke here just what Kayne West did, or that he has terrible taste in comic strips?