Recalculating....

What a beautiful day...at least in my neck of the woods.  Which mean tomorrow it will snow.  We'll lead off this entry with today's Garfield which will segue into some shameless self-promotion.

Garfield

I don't know what made Jon think he is handy around the house.  But at least we know Garfield has a Facebook page.  You know who else has a FB page?  Meekrat, Dog Spelled Forward, The Bird Feeder, Stupid Inventor and the DCR itself.  For some reason, I used to have one then got rid of it.  Maybe I will bring it back someday.  We all also have Twitter however @theDCR hasn't been updated since July 27, 2010.

Todd the Dinosaur

Instead of making a joke about eating dolphins and pandas, I would contact the grocery store manager who would kindly ask these two douchebags to get off his property.  I mean, it is clear that they approaching people in the parking lot.  Then I would mention dolphins and pandas.

Crock

Yeah.  Okay.  I guess this is kind of topical...

Bizarro

I love the Mayhem commercials from All State.  That's really all I have to say about this panel.

Hi and Lois

Along with it being the vernal equinox, tonight is also when the Devil visits Stull Cemetery.  I notice Hi doesn't mention that.

Wee Pals

The kids in Wee Pals are way too touchy about everyday phrases.  Even the handicapped/disabled girl in the chair seems very upset and offended that that boy is using the phrase "handicap" correctly!!

Family Circus

Great.  Those dogs are eating chocolate.  Now they are going to die.

New Adventures of Queen Victoria

Using the formula of comic book characters can use powers while the Archie and Newspaper side use popularity, my Final Four is Green Lantern, The Hulk, Jughead and, reluctantly, Calvin with Hulk and Calvin being the champions (based on popularity).  Who would win the championship...I'd go with Calvin.  What would your Final Four and such be?  Let us know in the comments.

Ziggy

Does Ziggy now live in a dystopian future that looks eerily like three weeks from now?

Wait.  On the bracket, are the Wee Folks the same as Wee Pals?

A quick search reveals 'Yes.  Yes it is.'

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Typographical Errors

Well, it's that time again when I take a break from my duties at the Meekrat Entertainment Group and blather on about comic strips. Let's get to it, shall we?

Compu-Toon

The first thing that struck me about this panel was that the joke is sort of clever. Of course a wireless network would work at a wire company, though that's not why this is posted here. For one, the caption seems clumsily written. If they just replaced the "if" with the "that", it would read better, though it may not be grammatically correct. Second, all the words in the panel are skewed. The type at the bottom should be slanted to match the sign, and the lettering on the door is a bit better, though not perfect. Also, "We sale all types of wires"? I'm going out on a limb and guessing this is another "Yenny" type incident, where the strip's grammatical and typographical mistakes stems from the strip being produced in a non-English language. If not, there's really no reason for a syndicated strip to be so lazy.

Gasoline Alley

On a semi-related note, this joke only makes sense if Slim hasn't been reliably portrayed as a well-meaning but slightly dim character every other time I've seen him in this strip. There's no way on Earth he'd be confused about the double meaning of fine.

Spider-Man

Meanwhile, it looks like the marriage I've been pushing for is going to be dashed by a rampaging monster, hopefully Fin Fang Foom but likely not him. Chances are, the Mole Man will either vanish, leading Aunt May to return to the surface a heart-broken mess, or Aunt May will realize the constant danger she might be in living underground and call off the wedding. In either case, I won't be happy.

Crock and Piranha Club


I leave you with two strips about rump roast. Bizarre? Yes.

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The week begins, and how better to begin your week than with Arkholt giving you some moderately amusing comic blurbs?

Grin and Bear It:

What Senator Snort doesn't realize is that gravy trains can be retrofitted to run solely on gravy.  No need for a battery even.  It's a proven fact that gravy produces electricity when given the right motivation.  Unfortunately, no one knows yet what exactly that motivation is.  More study is needed.

Moose and Molly:

If he moved, and the building's being demolished, you think they'd remove the sign and the doorway.  If I was the big guy with the hat, I'd take the sign home and hang it on the front of my house so people thought I was an eye doctor.  I may have to do an actual eye exam or two to keep up the ruse, but how hard is it to shine a light in someone's eyes?

Bizarro:

Last time I did a Bizarro panel I made a fool of myself by not knowing about the hidden "symbols." I don't read Bizarro that much...  This one caught my eye, though.  I get the point, but here's my question: Where does the power cord for the projector go?  That's not easily answered by posting a Wikipedia link, unlike my previous Bizarro question.

Crock:

"Have you ever been...?" Does this imply that it's just around somewhere and you can get on if you want?  It appears you can only go on if you have a counterpart of the opposite gender with you.  Is this some side business that Noah is running?  Also, what's with the tent/igloo made of sand?  I guess it must stay cool in there.

Ollie and Quentin:

Not men, but in fact barbershop singing worms.  They could have been a quartet, but the other worm didn't feel like joining in, I guess.  Perhaps they'll fall into a pond and be some lucky fish's lunch.

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Sunday Snap

Hey, have you heard the news of Nickelodeon producing a live-action Fairly Odd-Parents movie? It's going to star Drake Bell from Drake & Josh so while his cohort Josh Peck is doing decent movies like The Wackness, Mean Creek and Red Dawn, Drake Bell is playing a 23-year-old Timmy Turner, pink hat and all. I guess Drake does have a music career to fall back on...

Anyway, onto the Sunday comics.

Brevity 7/25/10

As someone who loves traffic signs and anything road related, I was quite happy to see the winding road sign as the bartender.

Crock 7/25/10

I want to know why they are singing the Star-Spangled Banner when "Crock" is set in the French Foreign Legion.

Mary Worth 7/25/10

The people who do Mary Worth do realize that people can grow up just fine without fathers. Right?

B.C. 7/25/10

Oh, snap, BP! You just got B.C.'d!!

Popeye 7/25/10

"Well, due to all the rough anal sex I engage in, I do have severe rectal trauma but I think I can manage."

The Pajama Diaries 7/25/10

Hey, you want to know a good way to have nobody read your comic strip? Put in a lot of words and turn the comic sideways.

Pearls Before Swine 7/25/10

Oh, snap, BP! You just got Pearls Before Swine'd!!

The Born Loser 7/25/10

Why do people in comic strips (and by "people" I mean Brutus) continue doing stuff they are not good at? I'm not good at algebra so I quit doing it, why can't Brutus do the same thing?

Frank & Ernest 7/25/10

Oh, snap, BP! You just got Frank & Ernest'd!!

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Ouija boards, strange medical tests, and those annoying horn things

Greetings.  I'm new around these parts.  My name's Ben Carlsen, AKA Arkholt, AKA the guy who also does the comic strip blog The Daily Panel as well as the new web comic The Bird Feeder, bringing you some comic blurbs, in no particular order.


Ollie and Quentin:

This one's just sad, for two reasons: first, the worm got smashed by the seat flipping up, and second, the bird actually has no way of following the rules.  His legs are not long enough for his feet to not be on the seat.  How these animals got into the theater in the first place is beyond me as well.

My Cage:

Wait a second here.  Why is this guy's heart inside his head?  Shouldn't it be in his chest?  Then again, perhaps his head IS in his chest, so his heart can be inside it and still be in the right place.  Wow, this guy's anatomy sure is messed up.

Curtis:

AAAA!!  Curtis' dad will know whatever he does, because he speaks with the dead!  You have much to fear, young Curtis!  Your father is a necromancer!

Heathcliff:

Wow.  I didn't know doctors had a test to determine that.  I'll have to make an appointment tomorrow to find out what I am.  With my luck, though, it's just something that vets are able to do, with their specialized animal tools.  No way my health insurance covers that.

Pickles:

I post this one only because I can also see it as a Pluggers strip.  "Google for Pluggers: ask your wife."

Crock:

This type of thing was funny back in 1920, but not anymore.  Strips had better art back then, too, so it made up for the fact that it was never actually funny to begin with.  I mean, seriously, can't you come up with a funnier way for them to make a bridge?  Have three of the guys span the gap and hold on to each others' feet at least.  That's about as old as this joke, but it doesn't look as desperate.

Working Daze:

Almost as annoying as the actual vuvuzelas themselves are all the annoying comic strips about them that I keep seeing.  Is their goal to make sure that the annoyance of the vuvuzela reaches even the people who haven't been watching the World Cup, such as myself?  If so, it has worked.  You can stop now.

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We'll Leave the Light On for You

It's Groundhog Day and instead of posting every single strip that featured a reference to this stupid holiday we don't even get the day off for (which there were a lot). Here are two strips that mention Groundhog's Day but ironically don't feature a groundhog.

Arlo & Janis and Frazz 2/2/10


Today's Arlo & Janis is just kind of annoying than funny. Chances are Arlo is even doing his commentary in a bad British accent. Meanwhile, Frazz makes fun of someone who "celebrates" Groundhog Day, a stupid but legitimate holiday, by wishing him a happy Tom Bodett Day, a stupid and entirely fictional holiday.

Blondie 2/2/10

Well, Dagwood's haircut didn't last long. I'm slightly disappointed but not completely surprised.

Crock 2/2/10

So the creator of Crock created a strip just to announce to the world he's a lazy sack of crap?

Mary Worth 2/2/10

Even though I am disturbed by the image of Wilbur in the first panel, Wilbur and I have some similarities, namely skanky girls who spend too much time with other guys.

Amazing Spider-Man 2/2/10

Why does Spider-Man have to sneak into the FF's headquarters? Couldn't he just ring the buzzer at the main door or land on a window and tap on it?

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Otter Pun Day 2010, DCR-Style

Are you people excited? You OTTER be, because it's Otter Pun Day! Otter Pun Day is a day when words and phrases that sound like "otter" are replaced with the word "otter". I realize this really isn't a pun, but I don't really care what you think about this, and you OTTER let me have my fun. As for most holidays, I've complied every comic strip about Otter Pun Day to show to you. Here we go:

Time-Mind Sync-Warp
...
...
...
That's it. Just one, probably because Otter Pun Day is a holiday I made up last year, and Time-Mind Sync-Warp is... well, my comic. Well, now that I've OTTERly abused my position here, onward to actual comics reviewing! All comics are from today (January 8th, 2010)

6 Chix

That is one bold freakish potato-man. Any closer and his face will be right in them, and then they'll probably get kicked out the restaurant and the date will be OTTERly ruined. He OTTER try and contain his libido until later in the night.

Annie

For a while, Annie was devoid of the craziness that it contained the first few days that I did comics reviewing, but these past two weeks... I'm not sure if flesh-eating gas counts as crazy as much as it counts as very gruesome and grisly, and it looks like we'll get to see this man melt into a puddle. It OTTER be a fun time.

Beetle Bailey

I have a story concerning Beetle Bailey, but I shall save that for another time. For now, I will simply say that I don't think Sarge OTTER be letting random civilians into Camp Swampy based upon statements that they were once in the armed forces. I'm not certain, but I'm reasonably sure that it would be against regulations and several people would get into trouble over it.

Crock

I have seen and heard this joke about a million times, but until now, I wasn't sick of it. Now I am. You killed this joke for me, Crock. You OTTER be ashamed of yourself.

Henry

What the heck was Henry thinking, bringing a bunch of bees into a flower show? It's one thing if the bees were buzzing around a bunch of flowers, but to just go and bring in a freaking beehive? That's just insane, and while Henry isn't known for thinking things through, this is just above and beyond anything he's done in the past. He OTTER have given this plan a second thought.

New Adventures of Queen Victoria

Oddly enough, the final panel describes a good majority of the "New Adventures of Queen Victoria".

The OTTER... er... Other Coast

If the dog has no thumbs, then how was he able to turn on the TV in the first place? Or pick up the remote? Or hook up that box thing on top of the TV? These questions need answers.

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