That Crook'd 'Sipp

It's Sunday again so let's get to it.

Curtis

I find it odd that Curtis' dad read "Metal Men" comics but I applaud Ray Billingsley using kind of obscure comic book characters.

Ink Pen

Oreos don't come in sleeves. Where do Oreos come in sleeves?

Between Friends

$5 for a candy bar that is thicker but not quite as big as a King Size bar I could get for $1 at my local grocery store. People asking for money has been cut down a lot since putting up two 'No Soliciting' signs.

Funky Winkerbean

Damn it, Batiuk.

Panels from Dick Tracy

Oh, Dick Tracy. Retail clerks don't read this strip.

Wee Pals

Damn it, Morrie.

Tiger

What?

Blondie

Sounds like the Heminhaws are made up. If the Woodleys didn't want to go camping with the Bumsteads (and who would?) then they should've just said so instead of creating a fictional family, purchasing a house under the fake family name and creating a backstory for the fake family.

Panels from Barney Google

So the people of Hootin' Holler apparently believe that the wind comes from the clouds. This is good to know when the United States of America invades the New States of America for their precious oil aquifers.

The Born Loser

You can't win it if you aren't in it. I'm shocked Gladys is OK with Brutus wasting his money on lottery tickets and even kind of encourages him to buy more.

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Cartoonists Don't Know About ATMs or Marijuana

Well, I will no longer be able to contribute to the Monday or Tuesday posts since I now have a job. I will still be here for Sunday so you won't be completely rid of me (I know, I feel your pain). Also, I will try to keep my own site updated as much as possible. But for now, onto the comics.

Heathcliff 2/21/10

Now I didn't pay attention to the opening ceremonies but I am pretty sure Wayne Gretzky lit the Olympic torch this year so I can only assume this is an alternate dimension where Heathcliff has murdered Gretzky just so he can get close enough to eat the doves.

Funky Winkerbean 2/21/10

Is anyone else really hoping that when Funky approaches Wally, Wally uses his Army training to jam Funky's nose cartilage into his brain?

Mary Worth 2/21/10

"Dawn could you please stop talking? Your incessant yammering has given me a huge headache."

Also, the second panel is classic. "Yes, now I shall "pity" the man who is of no relation to us and then I shall rule the world! Mua-ha-ha-ha!"

One Big Happy 2/21/10

I don't know who to bitch slap more. Ruthie or her mother. I'm thinking Ruthie but Mom could've worded her definition better.

Wee Pals 2/21/10

I hate Wee Pals but this one actually made me laugh.

Yeah, stay away from marijuana. You don't want to become all mellow and get the munchies.

Rhymes With Orange 2/21/10

Today's Rhymes With Orange is done by Mo Willems who has worked on such TV shows as "Sesame Street", "Codename: Kids Next Door" and created "Sheep In the Big City". Currently, Willems is better known for his kids books featuring Pigeon, Elephant & Piggy and Knuffle Bunny.

Unfortunately, because of Jenkins' idiocy, all five of them were shot and killed.

Between Friends 2/21/10

I've never seen an ATM not accept another bank's card. Does Sandra not know how an ATM works?

Also, don't ATMs keep your cards after a certain number of attempts (usually 3) or is that one of those urban legends?

Andy Capp 2/21/10

How does Andy keep his friends? This is the third time this year I've seen him take money from his friends for no reason except he needs money for booze.

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Monday Comics Extravaganzor

I hope you all had a happy thanksgiving! I'm thankful that we upgraded to unlimited bandwidth after Mikey P dropped a bomb of thanksgiving comics for you all to enjoy last Thursday. Couldn't have done it without our amazing Project Wonderful advertisers - check them out today! I don't get paid by you clicking on the ads but I still want you to check out any of their sites that look interesting to you!

Bizarro 11/30/09

Seriously Dan Piraro? That is so lame that you're using your position of fame and notoriety to wish someone a personal happy birthday in newspapers across America. FOR SHAME! By the way, it's my wife's birthday tomorrow - hope you have a great one sweety!

Pardon My Planet 11/30/09

"I also love your yellow and green hair. GO DUCKS!"

Buckles 11/30/09

Buckles: more bestiality than you could ever really justify.

Henry 11/30/09

What are some other reasons why Henry would be buying an extra-large men's handkerchief? I'm sure you devotees can use your creative energies and come up with some great suggestions!

Between Friends 11/30/09

Sometimes you just have to say something, even when you know it will get you in to trouble. Between Friends is an awful name for this strip. They should have called it "Bitches Be Crazy!".

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Saturday Happened Again, Looks Like I Owe Somebody A Dollar

Welcome, true believers, to the first DCR Saturday free from that tyrant Bryce. Since he's off in the drug underworld or whatever it is that he's doing, These are my choices. They don't encompass the week because I didn't have access to Bryce's magical comic machine that spits out all the worst comic strips. Rest assured, next Saturday will have the worst comics of next week. And I formally extend a welcome to our two new writers, I apologize that I do not yet know your names and am too lazy to go read Bryce's post that included them.

Onward, to adventure. Well, maybe not adventure, but comics.


Nest Heads 5/15/09

File under Horrible Word Play.

And does anyone under 14 or so even know who Hugh Hefner is? They shouldn't.




Ginger Meggs 5/15/09

The biggest problem with fishing for silverfish? They aren't fish and if you are near them, you are in a disgusting place. They should just go to the nearest public bathroom, there's alway gross things in there.



Crankshaft 5/15/09

What is 'retroactive arousal'? Would that mean that now you remember yourself being aroused when you didn't used to remember yourself being aroused? Or that your memory of the event now makes you aroused? Come on Crankshaft, if you're going to invent new forms of arousal, you should at least have them well defined.



Oh and I almost forgot: *hurl*



Between Friends 5/15/09

Those of you that are lucky enough to be my Facebook friend read an insightful thought by me on that very site. It was about how ridiculous Facebook status updates are and how it would be exceedingly easy to burgel or murder someone based on their Facebook status updates. I swear that some people want to be stalked because they make it so easy to track their every more by telling you exactly what they're doing. We don't need to fear Big Brother peering over our shoulder anymore because we willingly broadcast everything we do to a public audience. People, we need to retake some of our privacy. Even though we gave it away voluntarily, it is still ours and if you don't take it back, someone just might stab you while you are picking up Tommy from daycare then getting ready for my last evening of working at McDonalds!


And now back to your regularly scheduled sarcasm.



Tina's Groove 5/15/09

I am what some would call an alcohol snob. But I graduated from an actual school of Bartending so I get the final say in what is a good drink and what isn't a good drink. Wine mixed with beer is not a good drink. Ignoring the fact that it would give you an enormous headache, it would taste terrible. Wheat and grapes are only good together if you have grape jelly on your toast.



Be warned: the last comic review contains graphic language and will be offensive to the majority of people, if you do not want to read this kind of content, stop now.

Tiger 5/15/09

So he feels greedy when he's giving BJs to strangers for money, but not when he swallows the fruits of his labor? Weird. I just feel ashamed and disgusted when I give BJs to strangers for money. He must be charging more than $10 a head (pun intended).

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Massive 4 Day Comic Strip Bonanza

So I have a feeling posts like this will become more common here at the DCR, which is now a totally inappropriate name for this website. I am still reviewing the daily comics, just not... daily. Some day we will get back to 5 updates a week but right I hope you're happy with two.

Apartment 3-G 10/28/08

Blaze is apparently battling a fashion demon of his own. Gayest black ascot ever.


Between Friends 10/28/08

Double Homicide! Double Homicide!


Judge Parker 10/30-10/31/08


This has to be the sexiest strip on the comics pages. Dixie Julep's parents named here intentionally because they were both life-long Carnies and they dreamed of a brighter future for their young one. The second image is the closest comic strip emulation of a cheap porno intro I've ever seen. I mean Christ, his name is MR. DRIVER, think of all the horrible one liners!


Ballard Street 10/31/08

Good idea, very good idea!


Cow and Boy 10/30/08

A child who is already considering life's implications and thinking of how to prolong his existence is a little disturbing. I didn't start plotting to transfer from human to disembodied brain form until I was 23 and had to find a way to make myself immortal.


Dinosaur Comics 10/30/08

I'm cuckoo for intercourse! It works great for most breakfast cereal slogans, Intercourse-Breakfast of champions! Mikey likes it! Gotta have my pops! Kid tested-Mother.... awww shit.


Ginger Meggs 10/30/08

Apparently in Australia, "Chubb" is not slang for dick. Or maybe it is?


Overcompensating 10/30/08

The more Jeffrey Roland makes fun of the motherland and their slang, the more he deserves some sort of award.


Pearls Before Swine 10/31/08

Aw what a missed opportunity! Pastis why did you deny us a hilarious Zombie Turkey storyline by placing this comic at the end of Halloween week instead of on Monday with a following 4 days of GENIUS!


Secret Asian Man 10/30/08

If you're making jokes about the internet, always make sure it's not something that already exists. Hundreds of men and some women will now go check to see if Booble is a real website (hint:DUH IT'S THE INTERNET)


The Argyle Sweater 10/30/08

The truly bizarre and insulated environment that is Sesame Street almost ensures taking any one of the characters out in to the real world will result in hilarious hijinks. We demand more comics in this vein!


Working Daze 10/31/08

I'm thinking about starting a support group for people who have a boss who actually say this, like mine does. "Maybe if you weren't emailing chain letters to your family and friends all day you could have given it to me yesterday!"

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The Monday/Tuesday Comics Megapost!

Basic Instructions 10/20/08

You don't have to be sick to get better!


The Meaning of Lila 10/20/08

As long as men control the world I can guarantee this will never change, because I would never allow it. Whoever the victims may be in this situation, heterosexual men everywhere are the beneficiaries.


Shoe 10/20/08

Shoe will you please stop trying to be B.C. with your awful puns? You already have a place in the boring old comic strips that haven't been funny since the 80's section.


B.C. 10/21/08

Shoe I am so sorry I compared you to B.C. because you are light-years better. Why would a bird need a helmet? How would you not be certain about if you bought something on eBay? Does this have anything to do with anything or is it as pointless as it seems?


Between Friends 10/20/08

I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time I've snarked Between Friends but for a brief recap it's about a group of women and how they bitch about everything. For the last month it has been about this blond chick and how Maeve wants to help her escape her abusive husband. Sounds like a laugh riot perfect for the funny pages right? The only person Jake is humiliating is himself, that 70's porn mustache still can't hide his hairlip scar.


Cul de Sac 10/21/08

With the crushing depression of no longer being able to fulfill her dream of going out as a bat for Halloween, Alice has no other choice than to go as Eeyore.


Rhymes with Orange 10/20/08

There is a 50% chance your arm will also be clawed to oblivion with cats.


Pibgorn 10/21/08

Geoff here is asking the same question I was asking myself except in my case it was about this strip. Any strip that needs its own tribute page in order to explain what the hell is going on has transcended regular comic strip culture and has turned the bend in to its' own rectum. Sorry PIGBORN lovers.

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