Diagnostics

Sorry for the tardiness. Someone forgot to pay the Internet bill. It was me. Also, there were slim pickings today so the two comics were chosen entirely at random.

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This Just In: Cathy's Fat and Gizmo Hates Books

Daily commentary on The Born Loser have returned to my site so maybe you could go over there for second, why not?

Cathy Classics 1/2/11

I don't care that Universal Press Syndicate is too chicken to just force a new comic strip on papers who continue to carry Cathy even though it has come to an end, I just have a problem with the timing of the strips.  Y2K jokes?  Seriously?

Doozies 1/2/11

But doesn't Santa have all that slave elf labor?  I mean, they have to do something when they are finished making toys.

Girls & Sports 1/2/11

"And there's Jimmy and Michelle, he cheated on his wife who happened to be her best friend.  And over there is Heather and Dan, she lied to her boyfriend by saying she didn't have feelings for Dan but then they moved in together..."

Henry 1/2/11

I like this one but I wonder how Henry was able to switch places with the dummy.

Frank & Ernest 1/2/11

I don't like this one...

Chuckle Bros. 1/2/11

Sometimes this strip is funny.  Other times, not so much.  This is one of those "not so much" moments.

Beetle Bailey 1/2/11

Oh my God!!  Gizmo has snapped and is rampaging around Camp Swampy throwing away everything that is obsolete.  Quickly, Mort Walker!  Run!  Run away!!

Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids 1/2/11

Bob chose to go with "lack of air/there's no sound" for the solution instead the obvious "stars don't have points" and "there is no planet with rings that close to Earth".  Not mention flying saucers of that type do not run on dioxilene methane but on bicarbon hydrolium.

Wizard of Id 1/2/11

Yes, this comic is one or two days late (depending on when you want to see your New Year's comics) but he's too a brand new year even though it will essentially be just like the old one only with some slight changes.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

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While I Breathe, I Hope

There's going to be some new stuff up at my own site starting on April 1st so you should go check it out. My writing is not going very good but what I do for mindless procrastination is going swimmingly. Onto the Sunday comics.

Soup to Nutz 3/28/10

In elementary school I was in a spelling bee and the word I got was "gaudy" and I had never heard that word before because I was only seven or eight. So I spelled it "g-o-d-d-y" and lost. I have yet to live it down and it happened twenty damn years ago.

Henry 3/28/10

Oh, sweet Lord. This is more disturbing than I ever thought possible. I need to go wash my eyes out with bleach now. Be right back.

Amazing Spider-Man 3/28/10

Yeah! You know what this means? New York can get along just fine without Spider-Man or Peter Parker because there are over a dozen other heroes that can pick up the slack.

Dipshit.

Real Life Adventures 3/28/10

The thing is, I think a lot of the teabaggers are already pretty drunk. We're just lucky they aren't armed......this time.

Pluggers 3/28/10

Do they only deserve every penny because they have dangerous jobs or because their job is to paint flagpoles? I'm guessing the latter.

Also, South Carolina? The state where their governor uses tax payer money to fly down to Argentina to visit his mistress, the lieutenant governor compared poor people (re: black people) to stray animals and people routinely have sex with horses? Yeah, that's patriotic.

Family Circus 3/28/10

I'm 95% certain that the adults in the Keane Kompound have received their Census form but just wrote "None of Your Business" across it in a thick, black Sharpie which resulted in getting a visit from a Census worker but I have other issues with this comic.

I currently work for the Census and first of all, it doesn't ask for your occupation. Second, Census workers now use computers. I realize Bil probably remembers when the Census asked how many slaves you own but all this stuff can easily be looked up.

And now for two comics that I don't understand:
Birdbrains and Bound and Gagged 3/28/10


Did that crow marry a scarecrow or am I missing something? Also, if Red Riding Hood was "packing heat", wouldn't that be just a gun? Did Red shoot the wolf in the arm and the ear or does this comic strip person not know what that phrase means? I'm mainly baffled by the crow-slash-divorce attorney comic.

Today's post is brought to you by the South Carolina Visitor's Bureau: "Please visit. Please? We also gave you Dizzy Gillespie, Jasper Johns and Stephen Colbert so you owe us!" Want to sponsor a post? Get a hold of me somehow, like email: east_of_eden1983[at]yahoo.com.

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Otter Pun Day 2010, DCR-Style

Are you people excited? You OTTER be, because it's Otter Pun Day! Otter Pun Day is a day when words and phrases that sound like "otter" are replaced with the word "otter". I realize this really isn't a pun, but I don't really care what you think about this, and you OTTER let me have my fun. As for most holidays, I've complied every comic strip about Otter Pun Day to show to you. Here we go:

Time-Mind Sync-Warp
...
...
...
That's it. Just one, probably because Otter Pun Day is a holiday I made up last year, and Time-Mind Sync-Warp is... well, my comic. Well, now that I've OTTERly abused my position here, onward to actual comics reviewing! All comics are from today (January 8th, 2010)

6 Chix

That is one bold freakish potato-man. Any closer and his face will be right in them, and then they'll probably get kicked out the restaurant and the date will be OTTERly ruined. He OTTER try and contain his libido until later in the night.

Annie

For a while, Annie was devoid of the craziness that it contained the first few days that I did comics reviewing, but these past two weeks... I'm not sure if flesh-eating gas counts as crazy as much as it counts as very gruesome and grisly, and it looks like we'll get to see this man melt into a puddle. It OTTER be a fun time.

Beetle Bailey

I have a story concerning Beetle Bailey, but I shall save that for another time. For now, I will simply say that I don't think Sarge OTTER be letting random civilians into Camp Swampy based upon statements that they were once in the armed forces. I'm not certain, but I'm reasonably sure that it would be against regulations and several people would get into trouble over it.

Crock

I have seen and heard this joke about a million times, but until now, I wasn't sick of it. Now I am. You killed this joke for me, Crock. You OTTER be ashamed of yourself.

Henry

What the heck was Henry thinking, bringing a bunch of bees into a flower show? It's one thing if the bees were buzzing around a bunch of flowers, but to just go and bring in a freaking beehive? That's just insane, and while Henry isn't known for thinking things through, this is just above and beyond anything he's done in the past. He OTTER have given this plan a second thought.

New Adventures of Queen Victoria

Oddly enough, the final panel describes a good majority of the "New Adventures of Queen Victoria".

The OTTER... er... Other Coast

If the dog has no thumbs, then how was he able to turn on the TV in the first place? Or pick up the remote? Or hook up that box thing on top of the TV? These questions need answers.

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Monday Comics Extravaganzor

I hope you all had a happy thanksgiving! I'm thankful that we upgraded to unlimited bandwidth after Mikey P dropped a bomb of thanksgiving comics for you all to enjoy last Thursday. Couldn't have done it without our amazing Project Wonderful advertisers - check them out today! I don't get paid by you clicking on the ads but I still want you to check out any of their sites that look interesting to you!

Bizarro 11/30/09

Seriously Dan Piraro? That is so lame that you're using your position of fame and notoriety to wish someone a personal happy birthday in newspapers across America. FOR SHAME! By the way, it's my wife's birthday tomorrow - hope you have a great one sweety!

Pardon My Planet 11/30/09

"I also love your yellow and green hair. GO DUCKS!"

Buckles 11/30/09

Buckles: more bestiality than you could ever really justify.

Henry 11/30/09

What are some other reasons why Henry would be buying an extra-large men's handkerchief? I'm sure you devotees can use your creative energies and come up with some great suggestions!

Between Friends 11/30/09

Sometimes you just have to say something, even when you know it will get you in to trouble. Between Friends is an awful name for this strip. They should have called it "Bitches Be Crazy!".

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Grasping at Straws

It's one thing to neglect my own blog, but I'll not neglect another's blog, no sir. Also, I went through the archives of Skin Horse and, as it turns out, the two strips I looked at last week totally make sense in context and the whole thing is really pretty good. Now then, onto what you people come here for...

Bizarro 7/16/09

If he's blind, how does he know it's a bunny costume? Also, with that costume, there's a whole sub-section of people who would welcome him with open arms. Of course, that could just serve to make his blues that much worse.

Henry 7/16/09

It took me like, ten minutes to get what the heck was going on here, but in the end, I think it's one of those things where a person's body acts up before a storm, and the vaguely creepy Henry knows that the cop's corns act up before it rains. Yes, today's commentary is going to suck pretty badly.

The Boiling Point 7/16/09

I... I don't know why I picked this one. It just seemed like something I could be funny about, but really, I can't. I do like how perfectly they captured the stereotypical female-skewed romantic comedy with "Boobs & Balls". I'm also curious as to what "Pink Stuff" would be about. You know, other than stuff that's pink.

C'est La Vie, 7/16/09

Taken out of context, this sounds vaguely dirty.

Tiny Sepuku, 7/16/09

Aww. I get your PaRappa the Rapper reference, Tiny Sepuku, and I think it's quite charming.

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The Keanes Bid Goodbye to Jeffy

Family Circus 2/24/09

What at first seems a charming panel is quickly turned in to a cartoonist's nightmare! With all the news of salmonella (which strangely has nothing to do with salmon) contaminated peanut butter, Jeffy finally found a way out of this already spiritually dead comic strip. The only logical reason he would be needing more is because he wants to make sure the job gets done. Don't leave anything to chance, you brave young soul!


Henry 2/24/09

There goes Henry, playing with himself in the tub again.


Pearls Before Swine 2/24/09

As much as I love PBS, I can't say I'm happy about the latest string of Yiddish jokes. Sure they are hilarious, but it's only a matter of time until we see yet another comics review blog pop up, probably called something like Yiddish Comics Retsenzye.

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Fan-Freakin-Tastic Friday Comics Review

Well if you're only going to get two updates from me in a week, one of them better be damn good! Can you tell that I had to restrain myself from putting a swear word in the post title? I'm trying to make this place a little more professional god damn it.

Dick Tracy 2/20/09

In what law enforcement code of conduct handbook would this scenario ever be allowed. "If you know a criminal will be returning to a crime scene, quietly wait without any backup until they arrive. When they enter, spray them in the eyes with whatever the victim has available. If they try to flee immediately apprehend them, unless of course they are trying to escape with the use of a vehicle. In the case of vehicular fleeing, follow behind the car until it crashes. Blame any collateral damage on the chief."


Get Fuzzy 2/19/09

Great, now I've get to get to the lawyers office and update my Will.


Luann 2/19/09

"Guys I just met the President! He said I could be a senator some day! Yeah that was it, I had to cut him off cuz I had a turtle head poking out." That's the kind of story you can tell your grandchildren some day.


Henry 2/19/09

So Henry farts down the railing, farts all through out the house on his way outside, then farts all over the snowman this little kid is trying to build. Am I wrong or is Henry kind of a dick?


Pluggers 2/19/09

Wow, yesterday was a plethora of butt/poo related jokes. Must be something about Thursdays.


Arctic Circle 2/20/09

You may notice I cut this strip down to just two panels from it's original four. That's because it is WAY funnier this way. If you don't already know about pitching tents, do us all a favor and check it out on urban dictionary or something.


Judge Parker 2/19/09

The original

And my own little improvement on the strip. JP is somehow totally insulated from the terrible economic times every one else on earth is going through. Next week they're going to buy a yacht and a new full size house... for their dog.


The Amazing Spider-Man 2/20/09

"We need a real super hero, like The Tow-truck Guy!" Only New Yorkers think it's a hero's responsibility to save them from their own shitty driving. Next week Peter will walk right by some guy in a suit and he'll be all like "Some hero, couldn't even stop me from losing my life savings to that damn African prince."


Scott Meets the Family Circus 2/18/09

I don't usually repost other bloggers work, but SMFC only updates sporadically and is so disarmingly funny I can't help but share it.

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