Crikey!

This is an open comment to the people who still publish and distribute the comic panel Natural Selection:

I understand that this is a repeat from 2003 but you people over at Creator's Syndicate do realize that Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray in 2006, right? You would think that this would be a comic never to be shown again like the Peanuts where Charlie Brown befriends a Klan member*. It's time to remove this strip from rotation because I feel it's in bad taste and I've made fun of everything from pregnant women to cancer survivors.

*Not true.

Zits 2/9/10

Yeah, yeah, cell phones are small enough to hidden by a piece of bread. What disturbs me is that the bread makers have decided to put their logo right on the bread as it's pretty clear the bread is not in a bag.

Mary Worth 2/9/10

So as Dawn happily rubs her cleavage, I wonder why Mary hasn't meddled more during this storyline. Don't tell me Dawn does it all! If so then the next storyline will feature Mary Worth trying to dispose of Dawn's body because only Mary may meddle.

Hi & Lois 2/9/10

What's with Lois' eyes? She is either shocked to learn that her eldest boy has true adult feelings or the sight of Chip on his guitar is getting her all hot and she's wondering what the penalty for incest is in their state.

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Light Load

Light load today, folks. If you're still aching to read stuff, though, may I suggest the Meekrat Entertainment Group? Or perhaps Carafe, which has been proven to rock your socks off? Or perhaps Time-Mind Sync-Warp, which is another new webcomic sensation? All of them are available for your reading pleasure. Now then, on with the commentary:

New Adventures of Queen Victoria, 1/21/10

Oscar Wilde is a character in this strip, right? I want to see a wit-off between Conan O'Brien and Oscar Wilde. Such a thing would be epic and probably only of interest to about five people, but I am one of those five people, darn it. Make it happen, whoever makes this strip.

Natural Selection, 1/20/10

This is a comic panel about a man who is about to mount a dog. The dog is, rightfully, screaming in terror. Don't know how he can do that, but stress can make a person (or dog) do amazing things.

Flight Deck, 1/20/10

This panel is not funny. If you have to explain who someone is within the panel in order for the joke to be gotten, then you're trying entirely too hard. Also, a person's height has nothing to do with basketball skill. I'm sure it helps, but it's not everything.

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Conan, Leno and Stripper Dogs

The New Adventures of Queen Victoria 1/19/10

Poor Conan. He didn't deserve the ass pounding both NBC and Leno gave him. Leno is a jerk. I used to think he was a decent guy but not so much anymore. I'm sure the wording in their contracts was very clear but if I were Leno I would've just sat back, maybe do a few comedy specials over the next couple of years and then see how Conan is doing.

Conan should come here and write some comic strip commentary. We can't afford to pay him but his services would be very welcome.

Natural Selection 1/19/10

*Shudder* I'm going to go pour pure alcohol in my eyes now. I have now seen things I cannot un-see.

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Can I Talk To You About The Lord?

Tuesday is not my friend. Blah blah blah, nobody reads this part anyway blah blah blah.

Here's some comics.


Soup to Nutz 9/29/09

That is actually true. Except for the last part. Then they would just be blind and probably get shot or stabbed.



Natural Selection 9/29/09

They didn't have the balls to say 'Jesus Christ our Savior' or 'the Lord'? And I think even Jehovah's Witnesses would run from people wearing giant masks and performing a sacrifice.



Six Chix 9/29/09

The chicken came first because it's trying to lay the egg. One wing flapping would make a noise. The chicken crossed the road because there was food on the other side.

Oops, did I just destroy your 'zen'? Damn chicken.



Adam@Home 9/29/09

Children are a pain in the ass. How funny.

And where is the mother? In the kitchen still? Wow, Adam is one lazy bastard. He is home all day and he still makes his wife do all the cooking.



Stone Soup 9/29/09

Children are a pain in the ass. How funny.

Oh wait, I already used that line. Maybe because this joke was already used.

Why didn't they just get a babysitter? Then they could have gone wherever they wanted and not have worried about the children bothering them.

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Better late than never?

Hey everyone. I'm back again, so let's get right down to the question on everyone's lips: is Annie still insane?

Annie, 8/20/09

An ancient Atlantean with a pet dinosaur interacting with cowboys while trying to keep said dinosaur from getting spotted by the Air Force. Yep, still pretty insane. What's more is that Annie seems to be resigned to her fate of being in an insane comic strip.

Tina's Groove, 8/20/09

The fact that there's such things at catscopes is probably even more insane than Annie. On a different note, I've always wondered why Tina looks so depressed in every single comic strip. She constantly looks like she's on the verge of tears, which is not very groovy.

Bliss, 8/20/09

Frankenstein's monster would suck pretty badly at basketball, I think. He'd try to do a jump shot only to realize he left his feet behind. He may be able to dunk, however, but I don't think his wrists would be very good at dribbling.

Close to Home, 8/20/09

This would sound no different from normal talking, unless she's just saying the letters. In which case, that's really freaking stupid. I do like the name Katie Hunter, though. It deserves to be used for something much better than a lame one-panel cartoon.

Natural Selection, 8/20/09

Part of me feels bad about picking on this cartoon, but the geeky part of me is shoving that part out of the way. Godzilla was played by a series of Asian men, all of relatively normal stature save for the fact that they had pretty good strength and stamina. They needed it because the costume weighed so much. And with that, I'm off.

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Geekiness abounds!

Hey there, cats and kittens. Are you ready for the Internet's hippest comic strip reviews? Then you should go find them, because I'm just doing what I usually do while I'm here.

Better Half, 8/13/09

I take issue with this strip because, while that man is the stature of a hobbit, he clearly does not have hairy feet or pointed ears. Also, the word hobbit is not capitalized when being used in that manner. However, I am wondering if one could go to that job and claim to be an orc or an elf while all decked-out in a costume. That would be quite an interesting place to work.

Annie, 8/13/09

Crom? The same Crom who is a part of the Conan the Barbarian mythos? Does this mean that Annie and Conan the Barbarian share the same universe and history? Could Annie be the reincarnation of Red Sonja? Is Daddy Warbucks working with Thulsa Doom? This just opens the door for so many hypothetical, yet now plausible, situations! Also, that dinosaur is obviously a carnivore. Look at those teeth. Those are for tearing the flesh off bodies, they are.

Gasoline Alley, 8/13/09

Speaking of Conan the Barbarian... I hope that Conan does exist in this universe and that he'll eventually come to Gasoline Alley and just stop this strip. I'm not sure, but I think it's the oldest strip around, and it really doesn't deserve to still be around. So get right on that, Conan. I don't care which Conan. Just get on it.

Betty, 8/13/09

Why are Americans so interested in doing stuff other cultures do when, in the not-too-distant past, we have fought wars to get away from those other countries and to stop them from doing things that they do? I realize that the United States is on good terms with Europe, but really, if George Washington could see us now he'd slowly shake his head and wonder where he and the other forefathers went wrong.

Bo Nanas, 8/13/09

Cleveland (where I live) supposedly has the best public transportation in North America. Considering how... not bad, really, but terribly uneven it is here I can only imagine what it's like in other places. That said, I would not take food or drink offered to me on a bus. I can only imagine it would be, like the service, terribly uneven. I wouldn't let them come near my face, either. Especially not with hot oil.

Flo and Friends, 8/13/09

This comic strip is either about assisted suicide, incest, or an old man's wish to be sexed to death. In any case, it's disturbing and rather depressing.

Natural Selection, 8/13/09

Attention comic strip person: Fish are not Pokemon. They do not evolve into bigger, different fish. Yes, some Pokemon are fish-like, but that does not mean anything. Also, please ignore that one "Legend of the River King" game for the Game Boy Color, in which fish COULD evolve into bigger fish. Foolish comic strip person. Unless, of course, the joke is that the grouper ate all the other fish, in which case all of what I just said just goes to show what a geek I am.

Non Sequitur, 8/13/09

I don't see what a lifeguard could really do against a giant cephalopod anyway. Beat it with that boogie-board thing, I guess?

Herb and Jamaal, 8/13/09

Stop lying to yourself, Jamaal. Seriously.

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NEWS ALERT: Facebook Redesigned, World Internets In Meltdown

Overcompensating 3/15/09

Even though we think of ourselves as the tech generation, whenever someone changes something we're used to, the forecasters always call for at least three days of steady bitching. Thankfully our own recent redesign garnered nothing but a smidgen of praise and some complete ambivalence.


Natural Selection 3/16/09

HA HA HA HA HA! A comic about a lady killing her 3 previous husbands! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Did she kill them all within the last week? Because that grass would be growing over those piles in the time it takes to marry and kill three people. Do jokes about mariticide ever get old? Being a husband myself I cant get enough!


Gasoline Alley 3/16/09

It's days like today where I really miss Going Antisane. It was a blog written by a guy named Greg and he handled the strip daily like a consummate professional. He has dropped off the face of the earth (at least the blogosphere) and hasn't posted anything since last July. Hope everything is going good Greg, if you ever want to come back we'd love to have you here! On to this comic; is it appropriate to use the word "spunk" in a comic in the year 2009? It has been thoroughly corrupted by everyone from the porn industry to, well, me. And why would you draw a character with her hand right in front of her face? If it would be considered a bad photograph it probably wouldn't make a good comic panel either.


Frog Applause 3/16/09

When Frog Applause chooses to write cohesive strips instead of their usual acid-induced, hallucinated events, it is one of the best comics out there. The middle finger has been played out folks, and we do need a new gesture just like Ms. News-anchor says. "The Shocker" has been co-opted and put on t-shirts by frat boys, and the thumb bite is too old school to pack much of a punch. I think we may have run out of options.


Mark Trail 3/16/09

It's not apparent from the facial expressions if these two guys are intensely private individuals who are pissed at being photographed or if they are super pumped up that they were in it! Either way this looks to be an awful new storyline. Two pillars of the community, in a torrid gay love affair, are unexpenctantly photographed by the son of the worlds most famous wildlife detective. Hilarity and hijinks ensue!

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Friday's Short Comic Reviews 7/18/08

So work is crazy busy and I am in a time crunch because I need to go see my buddies new kid they just had this morning! Congratulations Brett and Jana and welcome to the world Elise! As a result of all these things and that it's Friday, your daily comics update will be sweet, short and to the point. Enjoy!


Dinosaur Comics 7/18/08

Best comic ever! For today at least.


Betty 7/18/08

In most states, dropping your kid off alone in the woods against their will is called "abandonment." In Betty it's called Friday night.


Cathy 7/18/08

If you didn't know, Cathy is roughly 5 years behind the modern world, which is why they've never heard of digital picture frames - or funny punchlines.


Popeye 7/18/08

So somehow the witch has escaped from her cage in which she was trapped yesterday. Apparently the strip was just so packed with other exciting things they had to fit in that they couldn't spend a day showing how she escaped.


Crankshaft 7/18/08

Instead of researching for 2 seconds on Google Images what EMS personnel might wear, Chuck Ayers figured none of his readers we paying enough attention to those details and would just be so happy to find out Gram was still kicking. Soooooo disappointed.


Natural Selection 7/18/08

And some good ol' banking humor to round out the week! I hope I'm not the only one who likes these because otherwise I'm a sad, lonely man.

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