Manic Monday

by Hal Bent

It's manic, make no doubt about it! No time to chat or philosophize in the introduction. Let's jump right in:

9 to 5 by Harley Schwadron:

That so-called baby is gigantic. No way that thing is anything but a little person infiltrating this household and reporting back to his masters: "Honorable Master, the idiot Americans have no clue to my existence as an agent and not their hideous offspring who is long since spirited away. In fact, they seem nonplussed by my using my laptop in front of them and reporting on the nuclear capabilities of the reactor in town. Attached are the newest photos of the security guard change-over at 0800 and 1600 hours."


Working It Out by Charlos Gary:

Speaking of Google, not only does this joke scream "THAT WAS FUNNY...WHEN I FIRST READ IT IN 1998", but smartphones today (by today, I mean the last ten years) have these these things called "Apps" including these things called "browsers" that run...Google and other search engines.  


Shoe by Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins:

If a comic strip references a one hit wonder terrible hippie band from 45 years ago, it should be retired. Immediately. 

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Friday Funnies

by Hal Bent

Another Friday, another loss trying to find "funny" in the funny pages.  Forget it, it's time to dial up a little extra snark to get the weekend started!


Working It Out by Charlos Gary:

And you're bald.  Not Patrick Stewart classy, British, and dignified bald, but pin-headed,ugly bald. Besides, everyone knows that women love the funny guys--a sense of humor is what lures the ladies. I hope so.  Maybe I need to actually be funny, instead of thinking I'm funny.  Hmmm.


Adam@Home by Brian Basset:

Even Adam's doctor loathes and despises him. See,it's not just your family that tries to hide their derision and hatred of you with "humor". Here, the doctor does an excellent job of pointing out Adam's physical short-comings, but fails to get into his psychological and mental issues (hey, it is only four panels).  I love the third panel and Adam's heavy-lidded look as the jab gets through his fever-ravaged brain.  Good to see he was back to usual, rotten self in the final panel.  Look at those crossed arms and the dialogue dripping with anger.  


Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich:

Sadly enough, this is real party pooping going on here with these weird "real life" characters.  No, not bringing the party down with their inappropriate stories about changing the cat box with their hands, but rather pooping at the party. Shrimp platter? Nailed it.  Punch bowl? Pooped in.  Modern art vase as centerpiece on the table? Yup, they pooped in it.  I mean, these two are depraved sickos. That is a couple with some seriously strange turn-on sand the people of their town are just saying "No" to these two freaks. 


Drabble by Kevin Fagan:

Drabble knows...those hideous Real Life Adventure poopers are going to be there. "Pack the barf bag, Drabble!" 

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Blizzard of Comics

Whoo-hoo.  A rare day off as work is cancelled due to the impending blizzard here in the Northeast.  Time to peruse the comics and set my snark level to HIGH.  Hard to type with my fingers-crossed hoping this storm turns to rain and blows out to sea, but let's give it a shot: 

Bliss by Harry Bliss:

See, I say latched on.  I latched onto my wife and didn't let her shake me, no matter how hard she tried. Accept it and embrace, baldy. Attractive wives with less attractive guys is only supposed to happen in sitcoms, not real life. So if you're lucky enough to latch-on, don't ruin it by rolling your eyes and making that "disappointed" face.  Put your arm around her shoulder, say "Damn right I latched onto this sweet piece of ass, right here!) and let the glowering chick in the red sweater with the glass of wine have to make the uncomfortable "is he serious or joking? Do I chuckle? Are they fighting? Is he sarcastic?" face and then give a half-hearted chuckle/snort and walk away in embarrassment.   (Not that I've ever done this at a Christmas party at my wife's work or anything. Why do you ask?)

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Momma by Mell Lazarus:

This old bag (I never knew her name was Sonya--she doesn't look like a Sonya.  More of a Louise or Betty) is always complaining her grown children don't come to visit her. So she finally gets them all there for dinner (and no sign of her hated daughter-in-law) and what happens? Sonya/Momma is bitching and moaning about them sponging off her for dinner.  What else does she have to offer them? Scintillating conversation? 80 inch television? Pleasant demeanor? 

Food is what brings a family together. I hate to think of parents/in-laws complaining about family coming and visiting them.  So does that mean she really doesn't really want her miserable kids around?  Or, maybe she's just really a mean-spirited old biddy.

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Compu-toon by Charles Boyce:

Grammar police! Wheeeee-oooh-wheeeee-oooh! (Gotta validate that Liberal Arts degree my wife worked so hard to pay off).  Were these castaways wondering or wandering? If wandering, where the heck did they wander towards.  What is that on the left side of the panel under the sun? It looks like shrubbery. Are these idiots a 50 foot wade through waist-high water from the main land? What rescue options did they try? Are they IT Professionals? Is that the "Main menu" joke?  Maybe "joke" should be in quotes, as I'm missing the attempted humor here.

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Working It Out by Charlos Gary:

Remember when Starbucks started expanding across the country and the populace was enchanted and/or confused by terms like latte, venti, cappuccino, and grande?  Of course you don't, unless you're over 35 years old and remember 25 to 30 years ago when Starbucks exploded across the nation. Walk Like an Egyptian was the hit single and the Bangles were blowing up MTV.  More important than this outdated attempt at humor, I saw Bangles lead singer Susanna Hoffs on VH1 on one of those idiot shows that are great to put on the TV in the background when doing something else and I cannot believe that she is 53.  Not only that, but she married the geek who directed the Austin Powers movies, Jay Roach?  Did I mention not only is she 53, but Hoffs is still smoking hot. 


Fort Knox by Paul Jon:

This General is in the mood for some general cuddle-time around the fire with Army boy here. I don't see any graham crackers in hand, so which guy is the chocolate and which is the marshmallow? Didn't take long for "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to end for the General to start making propositions. Look at the facial expression on Army boy in the last panel...he is FREAKING OUT AT THE PROSPECT OF "MAKING S'MORES" WITH HIS COMMANDING OFFICER.    


Love Is... by Kim Casali, conceived by and drawn by Bill Asprey:

These freaky, naked Dutch folk (who were big in the late '70s/early '80s, as I recall) are actually wearing clothes! Praise the Lord, this Love is actually has the giant-head character wearing clothes. That's worth celebrating.


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Bound and Gagged by Dana Summers:

Humpty Dumpty was that kid in high school with the Pink Floyd t-shirt who was stoned all day? Don't seem to recall those kids having a bow-tie, bowler derby, and spats.  

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History Repeats

I've only got three comic strips for you today. Six, if you count the ones I always do at the MEG. Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to produce quality to make up for the lack of quantity. Sure, let's go with that...

Jump Start, 12/4/09

On the surface of this comic, there's nothing wrong with it. No joke, really, but it's a serialized comedic strip. Sometimes there aren't any jokes, but it's better for them to just eschew a joke rather than do the stupid For Better or for Worse/Funky Winkerbean stupid-line-with-a-smirk thing. My problem with this is that this is basically rehashing a storyline they did a few years ago where Joe didn't want to wear his bullet-proof vest and was shot, but he was wearing the vest and so he didn't die. This time, he has a comically over-sized medallion hanging on his chest that a homeless family gave him after last week's Thanksgiving thing. He didn't want to wear it, but is wearing it, so the bullet won't kill him.

My main issue with this is that the first storyline also served to promote bullet-proof vests, which is a worthwhile thing to promote. Whether it be cops or soldiers, we don't want the people defending us to get shot full of holes. This storyline, however, doesn't serve the same purpose. Yes, Joe's kindness towards the homeless family is being repaid and it's all heart-warming and seasonally appropriate (which may be the whole point of this, really) but they could have done it in a different way than "Joe's getting shot." I'm probably over-thinking this and my gripes are probably unwarranted, but I really wish they had gone a different direction with this storyline. Maybe have them do some other nice thing for Joe that wouldn't involve him getting shot. Really, that's my main problem with this whole thing. Joe getting shot again. It's just sort of lazy to go back to that well again, I think.

Also, at that range, wouldn't the bullet make it through the medallion and do a lot of damage to his innards, anyway?"

Beetle Bailey, 12/4/09

I really like the second panel, with Beetle trying to comfort a clearly distraught Rocky. Maybe soon there'll be a storyline where Rocky, angry over the death of his creation, manages to wound Sarge.

Working It Out, 12/4/09

I know this isn't a cartoon about prostitution. It's a cartoon about a man in a reindeer costume (with pearls, for some reason) being told that he'd get fifty dollars if he let someone ride him as one would ride a reindeer. However, it really looks and sounds like a cartoon about prostitution. Not only that, but furry prostitution.

Also, there's the redundancy of having a dollar sign in front of the fifty and still saying "bucks". Unless the man is actually offering the man in the reindeer suit some actual deer which cost $50 in exchange for allowing him to ride him.

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Another Saturday Bites the Dust

Another Saturday, another look at the week in comics. Remember to tell your friend(s) to visit the site and donate if possible.





For Heavens Sake 4/6/09

You had a good run. How many centuries did you expect to be on top of Western civilization? Haven't you heard the saying that all good things must come to an end? And it's not even like you're not still on everyone's mind, it's just that we need to get away from the crazies that dominate your message. If you wanted to talk to the fundamentalists and try to get them to calm the f*ck down, we'd be all for that. But until they give it up, America has to get away from being seen as a Christian nation. I'm sure you'll make a comeback in the future; after all, religion booms when bad things happen and I'm sure that more bad things will happen. Just keep the crazies and the pedophiles away from your religion and we can be friends again.



Hazel 4/7/09

What in the hell is going on here? So, let me get this straight.

There are two women, sitting in chairs, talking to each other. There are two children with shovels being supervised by a man. The children are looking for worms. They find worms and head towards the women. The man takes the worms and throws them towards the women. The man then instructs the women to talk about worms.

What? So the joke is that women are afraid of worms? This makes as much sense as the infamous Gil Thorp.




Off The Mark 4/8/09

Ah, how I miss those simpler times. When a perverted man could only physically flash and rape a women instead of make fools out of other perverted men in a chat room. Those were the days.

Some people will tell you that sex crimes have risen in the digital age. These people are generally old and afraid that the internet, with its series of tubes, will anally assault them while they sleep.





Working It Out 4/10/09

Reginald was simply trying to emulate his favorite comic strip character. Little did he know that comic strips take place in a different reality, a reality where pants are optional and animals can talk. Unfortunately for Reginald, this was the last straw and he had to be committed to the asylum. Poor, poor Reginald.


Webcomic of the Week should really be renamed since it only happens every other week. It shall return next Saturday.

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Comics Contest Monday!

The DCR is bringing you the first contest where you can win something! It's not very comics related, but Pandora is an awesome music service that I use to listen to music at work and find new artists. It's free and amazing. Pandora and Energizer recently partnered together to launch the fabulous Energizer Forum. "On the Energizer Music Forum, users can share their Pandora music discoveries, ask questions of other users, give opinions on bands and artists and interact with musicians who want instant feedback on new material." Here's the link to the Energizer Music Forum - check it out!

The nice people associated with this new forum have sent along 3 $20 iTunes giftcards to give out to my readers. I've been thinking that we need to expand our reviewing goodness so here is the plan: Submit the worst web comics to us here at DCR and we will pick the 3 most terrible web comics from the bunch and whoever sent us those links will win a gift card! Some quick rules for the contest: 1-each person can submit up to 3 links, 2-We need your email address so we can give you your gift card so email your entries to dailycomicsreview@gmail.com. If you'd rather submit your links in a comment, make sure you leave the email there too. 3-The contest will be over this Friday and winners will be announced next Monday.
Now, on to the comics!

Working it out 12/22/08
Working it out 12/22/08">
If it tastes good, eat it! That's rule #14 in the Man Handbook.


Bound and Gagged 12/22/08
Bound and Gagged 12/22/08">
No holiday is more abused by the comics pages than Christmas. You can expect to see the same old and tired jokes every year without fail. Here in B&G, the favorite comic of every S&M fetishist, we learn they had a Jesus on Mars too. Small universe eh?


For Heaven's Sake 12/22/08
For Heaven's Sake 12/22/08">
Hey! Fuck you for trying to use the Jesus story to take a policatal shot! In the war on Christmas I hope someone takes a bayonette to FHS right away. You lost, now shut the hell up.


Marmaduke 12/22/08
Marmaduke 12/22/08">
Marmaduke looks awesome! Whoever has taken over the illustation duties really has a fine artistic touch. Now if we could just get a comedy writer in there...

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The Sunday Comics 8/17/08

Thanks again to Brian for taking over Saturday's posting! This should be a great week in the comics. Spider-man, Dick Tracy and Alley Oop should all be wrapping up their latest story-lines so we'll have lots of new material to ridicule, and the tail-end of summer always seems to bring out some great daily comics. As always we'll have a full week of comic reviews and snark to brighten up your day. Enjoy Sunday's best comics!

The New Adventures of Queen Victoria 8/17/08


My Cage 8/17/08


The Knight Life 8/17/08


Working It Out 8/17/08

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