The Daily Comics Review: Terrible Tuesday

by Hal Bent

Tuesdays are terrible: They're like Mondays on steroids.  So Tuesday is now "Terrible Tuesday" and served with extra snark.  Speaking of terrible, I hate those LasVegas.com commercials with the guy named LasVegas.com. That's just stupid and annoying.  It has nothing to do with comics, but I just had to vent. Sorry, you get stuck reading it because it's Terrible Tuesday already.

Betty by Gary Delainey and Gerry Rasmussen:

I think the dialogue here is lacking.  It doesn't exactly sound like a conversation real human beings would have.  Hmmm, what if they were robots? 
MAN: You are losing weight. I am still fat, unattractive, and have a huge nose.
WOMAN: I am ugly as sin and have 1957 glasses, but not as fat as you are. 
WOMAN: Therefore, I have posted my profile on dating websites and have received replies.
MAN: Holy crap. You are attractive to other people now that you are not obese?
WOMAN: Compared to your fat ass, apparently the answer is yes. 

Everything is better with robots!


Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II:

Also, you'll be in my basement. In a hole. With your hands tied behind your back. And I broadcast it at a subscription rate to other Ziggy-haters.  I got seed money from some guy named Bent.  (Some day I'm gonna get a serious Ziggy fan to stumble across this site who will seethe in anger and tear me apart in the comments and on his/her own blog.  THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC!)


Pluggers by Gary Brookins:

Which means this fat Rhino Plugger is still fat, hasn't lost the weight his Doctor begged him too, is likely diabetic, eats at McDonalds five or six meals a week, doesn't get regular exercise, and is a walking health hazard who will cost the taxpayers and his future Union brothers millions as they over-run premiums and tax the healthcare system. Hold your heads up high, Pluggers. You are ruining America. Whoo-hoo! Represent!


Barney & Clyde by Gene Weingarten, Dan Weingarten & David Clark:

I usually like puns.  That said, this one does involve peeing, so despite the horrible pun, it passes the sniff test.  That said, it reminds me of a story about horrible puns. OK, I lied, it reminds of a story about peeing, and yoga.  Umm, you know what, that's a bad idea. I'm gonna stop now.

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Mutant Undercover Pinko Puppet Espionage Team

Happy President's Day! Today I celebrate the president I share a birthday with, thirteenth president, Millard Fillmore (not to be confused with right-wing, unfunny newspaper comic duck, Mallard Fillmore).  Fillmore's major legacy involved staying out of conflict with Mexico, Peru, France, Portugal, Spain, and England (and importing guano--bat droppings!).  Fantastic stuff. Now on with the comics!

Barney & Clyde by Gene Weingarten, Dan Weingarten & David Clark:

Hah, always kick it off with a urine joke if possible. Apparently, mentioning bodily fluids is the way to getting thrown out of class.  Hmm, would have been good to know back in the school days. Also, I feel the child's pain here, mispronouncing a difficult word.  Look at panel three and that snotty, condescending look by the teacher.  I've been in that situation, having been limited in my television viewing and learning mostly through reading.  Most words I tried to introduce into my vocabulary were words I had never heard spoken.  It's not easy.  Heck, I wish I were witty enough to have whipped out a quick, distracting joke.

Drabble by Kevin Fagan:

OK, Drabble, you lost me here. A vacuum cleaner, I'd understand. A person walking a dog, sure. Someone turning their car around in the driveway, you bet. My dog goes nuts at all three.  But a water bottle, empty paper towel roll, and sock?  What is that? What sense does that make? Is it just me? Why is a dog afraid of a sock???

Thatababy by Paul Trap:

You're not sucking me in. I'm not making another Caddyshack reference now that I already used Spaulding and Judge Smails earlier this week. Not gonna get into Carl Spackler quotes..."He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think."  Augghhhhh! They sucked me in.

Tank McNamara by Bill Hinds:

I'm kind of glad that 4th panel got cut off.  "I like the squeaking too." PANEL FOUR: "Not just the shoes squeaking, but the young men and their muscular bodies, dripping with sweat, jostling for position under the basket..."  Look at her dazed expression in the 3rd panel.  Yup, good thing that missing 4th panel is not there. 

Get Fuzzy by Darby Conley:

Muppets as dangerous pinkos.  I love it. Bucky Katt is on fire.  This is gonna be a great week at Get Fuzzy!

It's only Monday! Have a great night, everyone. 

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Tighty Whities

Barney and Clyde

There is something disturbing about the little girl peering into the laundry basket and inquiring about her father's (probably skid-marked) tighty whities.  At least the maid has the good sense brush the discussion aside.

Bound and Gaged

So the witch is just going to toss aside her old broom without even trying to negotiate a good trade-in deal?  That's not so smart.

The Flying McCoys

Well, that's one way to toilet train a cat.

Love Is

Love is... making whoopee on a stack of textbooks.

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Fast Clocks and Useless Librarians

Adam@Home

A lot of people like to play this little trick on themselves; it isn't so unusual.  My question is why, after so many years of marriage, are they just arguing about this now?  Also, why is Adam the one setting clocks ahead?  He's the one that works from home, it's not like he needs to be anywhere.

Barney & Clyde

 Harold has no sense of humor, but he must at least have some sense of irony, judging from his ridiculous flat-top hair cut.

Betty

A smoke break? Guess who's getting laid off next for raising the insurance premiums, spending too much time outside, and for having bad breath? Mr. Squiggle-Hair, that's who!  Say, that's a nice pocket protector you've got there, is it company issued?

Diamond Lil

Just what I needed to read about in the comics this afternoon:  promiscuous old ladies with weird rashes.  Ug.  It cannot be unread.

Farcus

This comic poses several of unanswered questions.  Since when is a title not enough to locate a book?  Why does a priest need to check out the Bible from the library?  He already should have lots of his own copies.  And lastly, why is this comic funny? Dumb librarians must be hysterical, I guess.

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Flipping the Turkey

Happy day before Turkey Day, everyone! Enjoy your stuffed bird, cranberries, potatoes, and such. Time for some comics review!

Barney & Clyde

I love the way Cynthia is smiling in the last panel as if she's thinking, "Ha! Chew on that!" But really, how hard is it to look up the etymology of "etymology?" Apparently very hard when the dictionary you are holding is only 4 pages long.

Cul de Sac

Gross. I don't want to know what kind of old person goo that could be.

Momma

Speaking of gross, is this Francis's first introduction to deodorant? No wonder he is jobless and alone.

Shoe

"My Uncle? He's a lazy, good-for-nothing couch potato. Thanks for asking!"

Rhymes with Orange

This gives added meaning to the term, "flipping the bird." Sorry, I couldn't resist.

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Not your mother's lemonade stand.

Hello, Peter here again, bringing you comics review for Wednesday, August 24, which happens to be my mother's birthday. Happy Birthday, Mom!

Will I manage to keep my comments today mom-appropriate instead of the usual crassness? Let's find out!

Andy Capp

Is the banker supposed to look like Hitler?

Agnes

Whoa, $15.00? That's a tad overpriced. A latte-lemondade blend is rather disgusting, though not as disgusting as...

Birdbrains

The concurrence of themes in the comics is always a curious phenomenon. Two strips featuring lemonade stands is not itself unusual (it's a pretty common setup in the summertime), but Agnes and Birdbrains take the age-old children's moneymaker to sickening new levels. At least Dorkins' waste water is more reasonably priced than Agnes' concoction.

Brewster Rockit

That first panel summarizes Rise of the Planet of the Apes quite nicely. I don't have anything bad to say about this strip. Sometimes it's nice to share the consistently funny Brewster Rockit. Plus, I like donuts—not to eat, but as symbolism-rich pieces of Americana. Yeah, I'm weird.

Real Life Adventures

I thought making awkward, lame jokes was part of being a normal dad.

Barney and Clyde

Uh.. camouflage comes in different varieties now. It seems unlikely that these guys would be seeing two soldiers wearing that particular pattern. Maybe those are civilians in costume, maybe this strip takes place in another time or place, or maybe this is just a lame setup by a lazy cartoonist.

Momma

Uh.. job listings are almost exclusively online now. I should know. Sigh.

Okay, I've made it through a whole post without cussing. Though I did feature a strip that depicted the aftermath of drinking human waste, so I guess my efforts to be mom-freindly today were a wash. Oh well.

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Tony Murphy, creator of the comic strip It's All About You has announced that he is ending his comic strip after only being in syndication for three years.  It looks like Murphy chose to end it on his own citing "lack of client papers" so the syndicate may have been looking at ending it sooner or later anyway.

It's All About You 11/21/10


Also, Stone Soup celebrated its 15th anniversary on November 20th.  Also, Stone Soup is the top-selling Cathy replacement so double good news for creator Jan Eliot.

Stone Soup 11/21/10


And speaking of comics that have ended:
Argyle Sweater 11/21/10

Calvin's head does not look proportionate to his body.

Also, Calvin and Hobbes turned 25 on November 18th.

Herb & Jamaal 11/21/10

Laugh or cry all you want, Herb.  You've been pulled over for driving while black, just like in that episode of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air".

Pickles and Barney & Clyde 11/21/10


These two just made me laugh.

Slylock Fox 11/21/10

It's good to know that even though there is no crime within miles of him, Slylock is accusing people of wrong-doings that he created in his own mind.

Amazing Spider-Man 11/21/10

Can Spider-Man not handle anything himself?  He's always having to ask for help in this strip.  And he's always getting help from heroes who don't exactly need Spider-Man around.  Wolverine, Iron Man, Thing.  I know the comic strip version of Spider-Man is the laziest superhero in the world but does he have to be so blatant about it?

Born Loser 11/21/10

What a waste of steak.  I don't care how long that steak was in the refrigerator apparently just lying on the shelf, unwrapped, you do not give it to the dog.

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