Blizzard of Comics

Whoo-hoo.  A rare day off as work is cancelled due to the impending blizzard here in the Northeast.  Time to peruse the comics and set my snark level to HIGH.  Hard to type with my fingers-crossed hoping this storm turns to rain and blows out to sea, but let's give it a shot: 

Bliss by Harry Bliss:

See, I say latched on.  I latched onto my wife and didn't let her shake me, no matter how hard she tried. Accept it and embrace, baldy. Attractive wives with less attractive guys is only supposed to happen in sitcoms, not real life. So if you're lucky enough to latch-on, don't ruin it by rolling your eyes and making that "disappointed" face.  Put your arm around her shoulder, say "Damn right I latched onto this sweet piece of ass, right here!) and let the glowering chick in the red sweater with the glass of wine have to make the uncomfortable "is he serious or joking? Do I chuckle? Are they fighting? Is he sarcastic?" face and then give a half-hearted chuckle/snort and walk away in embarrassment.   (Not that I've ever done this at a Christmas party at my wife's work or anything. Why do you ask?)

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Momma by Mell Lazarus:

This old bag (I never knew her name was Sonya--she doesn't look like a Sonya.  More of a Louise or Betty) is always complaining her grown children don't come to visit her. So she finally gets them all there for dinner (and no sign of her hated daughter-in-law) and what happens? Sonya/Momma is bitching and moaning about them sponging off her for dinner.  What else does she have to offer them? Scintillating conversation? 80 inch television? Pleasant demeanor? 

Food is what brings a family together. I hate to think of parents/in-laws complaining about family coming and visiting them.  So does that mean she really doesn't really want her miserable kids around?  Or, maybe she's just really a mean-spirited old biddy.

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Compu-toon by Charles Boyce:

Grammar police! Wheeeee-oooh-wheeeee-oooh! (Gotta validate that Liberal Arts degree my wife worked so hard to pay off).  Were these castaways wondering or wandering? If wandering, where the heck did they wander towards.  What is that on the left side of the panel under the sun? It looks like shrubbery. Are these idiots a 50 foot wade through waist-high water from the main land? What rescue options did they try? Are they IT Professionals? Is that the "Main menu" joke?  Maybe "joke" should be in quotes, as I'm missing the attempted humor here.

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Working It Out by Charlos Gary:

Remember when Starbucks started expanding across the country and the populace was enchanted and/or confused by terms like latte, venti, cappuccino, and grande?  Of course you don't, unless you're over 35 years old and remember 25 to 30 years ago when Starbucks exploded across the nation. Walk Like an Egyptian was the hit single and the Bangles were blowing up MTV.  More important than this outdated attempt at humor, I saw Bangles lead singer Susanna Hoffs on VH1 on one of those idiot shows that are great to put on the TV in the background when doing something else and I cannot believe that she is 53.  Not only that, but she married the geek who directed the Austin Powers movies, Jay Roach?  Did I mention not only is she 53, but Hoffs is still smoking hot. 


Fort Knox by Paul Jon:

This General is in the mood for some general cuddle-time around the fire with Army boy here. I don't see any graham crackers in hand, so which guy is the chocolate and which is the marshmallow? Didn't take long for "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to end for the General to start making propositions. Look at the facial expression on Army boy in the last panel...he is FREAKING OUT AT THE PROSPECT OF "MAKING S'MORES" WITH HIS COMMANDING OFFICER.    


Love Is... by Kim Casali, conceived by and drawn by Bill Asprey:

These freaky, naked Dutch folk (who were big in the late '70s/early '80s, as I recall) are actually wearing clothes! Praise the Lord, this Love is actually has the giant-head character wearing clothes. That's worth celebrating.


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Bound and Gagged by Dana Summers:

Humpty Dumpty was that kid in high school with the Pink Floyd t-shirt who was stoned all day? Don't seem to recall those kids having a bow-tie, bowler derby, and spats.  

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