Scary Asian Man

My goodness, but it's Friday once again, and that means that... I'm posting again. No big deal, really. I have nothing to say today, really, and I'm wondering if I should even keep putting links to my site up. I mean, it's not like any of the other people who post here (or have posted here) have used this as a platform to promote their own stuff, so why should I keep doing it? Well, I will think about that. Check out the message boards, too! There's a link in the sidebar now! So there's no reason not to!

Cleats, 9/4/09

It's almost as if they anticipated that yesterday's strip would be greeted with... apprehension, and pre-emptively made a strip to apologize for it. Good for you, Cleats. Still, even with the "In five years or so" caveat, it's kind of creepy and a little gross.

B. C., 9/4/09

As we all know, this strip takes place in the post-apocalypse. However, they're using caveman tropes, and in everything from old Warner Brothers cartoons to "History of the World Part One", a caveman hitting a cavewoman over the head symbolizes marriage. So is that caveman claiming one of the only females left alive? What will happen to the delicate balance they've achieved? Will everything erupt into anarchy? I doubt we'll ever know the answers.

Heathcliff, 9/4/09

Sick of Heathcliff's nonsense, the very Spirit of America sends a bald eagle to take care of him. In the following weeks, expect a giant animated Statue of Liberty (controlled with an NES Advantage controller, possibly) to stomp Marmaduke into the ground and Uncle Sam to show Snuffy Smith what-for.

The Other Coast, 9/4/09

For one, unless you've recorded all those shows, only a few are going to be on at once. Two, I would totally watch a talk show whose guests were a jellyfish and a juggling spider. Also, it's not like they can't reuse guests... I've seen Norm Macdonald on talk shows about fifteen dozen times. Which isn't a bad thing, just saying that it's not like the guest well is going to run dry.

Mike Luckovich, 9/4/09

The Disney/Marvel deal is big enough to warrant political cartoons about it? Wow. I just hope we possibly get a new "Darkwing Duck" comic book out of it, really.

Secret Asian Man, 9/4/09

That's the scariest looking guy I've ever seen. Also, just because he doesn't know martial arts doesn't mean he couldn't be a ninja thug. It's called acting, after all.

Read more...

Monday, Monday, Monday

Secret Asian Man 1/19/09

Today is a holiday, so what the hell am I doing posting today? I really should have taken it off. I read every comic and only found this one. Thankfully I do have MLK day off work. Tomorrow is inauguration day! The long nightmare in America will finally be over.

Read more...

The New New Saturday

Hello there, my name is xy. You won't know my real name unless you already know me, so don't try to guess. Also xy isn't anything clever or mysterious, it's what I randomly entered into an arcade machine one time and I thought it was cool. Anyway, I'll be your new Saturday guy here on the DCR(that's what we insiders call The Daily Comics Review). I'm basically doing what Kaitlyn was doing cause she didn't like what she was doing or so I'm told. My style is a bit different than most; you see I deconstruct the punchlines, when there are punchlines, to tell why they are not funny, once in a while I just say mean stuff too so keep a lookout. Well, that sums up my official greeting so here's the comics that Bryce liked this week:


Secret Asian Man 12/22/08First let me say that Cookie Monster was my favorite Sesame Street character. Second, that guy does not look like cookie monster. If I recall correctly Cookie Monster did not have a black guy inside of him nor did he have an asian friend with giant eyebrows.


Free Range 12/22/08When I first saw this panel I almost laughed. Then I didn't cause it isn't funny. Let's say you have a world where all these fictional characters, Santa, Big Foot, Loch Ness Monster, are real. Now let's say that Santa gets eaten by Big Foot. This means that Christmas is ruined because no one will get any presents. That is why this comic is not funny. Also, I don't think Big Foot can read and how did he get the newspaper in the first place?

So that's my first Saturday post, hope you enjoyed what you got and if you didn't then you can blame Bryce, they were the comics he wanted me to review.

P.S. from the EDITOR: We are very happy to have xy here as our staff of writers continues to grow. It may be fitting that the 200th post on DCR came from our newest partner. WOW, 200 posts!

Read more...

Massive 4 Day Comic Strip Bonanza

So I have a feeling posts like this will become more common here at the DCR, which is now a totally inappropriate name for this website. I am still reviewing the daily comics, just not... daily. Some day we will get back to 5 updates a week but right I hope you're happy with two.

Apartment 3-G 10/28/08

Blaze is apparently battling a fashion demon of his own. Gayest black ascot ever.


Between Friends 10/28/08

Double Homicide! Double Homicide!


Judge Parker 10/30-10/31/08


This has to be the sexiest strip on the comics pages. Dixie Julep's parents named here intentionally because they were both life-long Carnies and they dreamed of a brighter future for their young one. The second image is the closest comic strip emulation of a cheap porno intro I've ever seen. I mean Christ, his name is MR. DRIVER, think of all the horrible one liners!


Ballard Street 10/31/08

Good idea, very good idea!


Cow and Boy 10/30/08

A child who is already considering life's implications and thinking of how to prolong his existence is a little disturbing. I didn't start plotting to transfer from human to disembodied brain form until I was 23 and had to find a way to make myself immortal.


Dinosaur Comics 10/30/08

I'm cuckoo for intercourse! It works great for most breakfast cereal slogans, Intercourse-Breakfast of champions! Mikey likes it! Gotta have my pops! Kid tested-Mother.... awww shit.


Ginger Meggs 10/30/08

Apparently in Australia, "Chubb" is not slang for dick. Or maybe it is?


Overcompensating 10/30/08

The more Jeffrey Roland makes fun of the motherland and their slang, the more he deserves some sort of award.


Pearls Before Swine 10/31/08

Aw what a missed opportunity! Pastis why did you deny us a hilarious Zombie Turkey storyline by placing this comic at the end of Halloween week instead of on Monday with a following 4 days of GENIUS!


Secret Asian Man 10/30/08

If you're making jokes about the internet, always make sure it's not something that already exists. Hundreds of men and some women will now go check to see if Booble is a real website (hint:DUH IT'S THE INTERNET)


The Argyle Sweater 10/30/08

The truly bizarre and insulated environment that is Sesame Street almost ensures taking any one of the characters out in to the real world will result in hilarious hijinks. We demand more comics in this vein!


Working Daze 10/31/08

I'm thinking about starting a support group for people who have a boss who actually say this, like mine does. "Maybe if you weren't emailing chain letters to your family and friends all day you could have given it to me yesterday!"

Read more...

Just An Awful Saturday

Augh!! Internet's been giving me some trouble and not loading the comics correctly, hence why the Saturday comics are coming out on Sunday. Hopefully next week goes smoother.

Big Top 8/23/08

I find that it's amazing just how similar me and talking comic strip animals are. I do the same thing but hopefully not as stalker-ish.

Speed Bump 8/23/08

Why is Bob the designated "generic name?" Why not Dave or Steve or even Michael. Why is it always Bob?

B.C. 8/23/08

While I'm not usually a fan of Wiley's Dictionary, I laughed at this one. One good thing about this new guy, less religion, more innuendo.

Joe and Monkey 8/23/08

I love when things are set in rhyme
Some things should do it all the time
But thinking up words is hard to do
Which is why my poem really blew.

Red Meat 8/23/08

For all of you who thought that if your head suddenly fell off your neck would make a blood-curdling, skin-tearing, bone-cracking sound, you are proven wrong. Just a small 'pop' is all. Plus you wouldn't die.

Secret Asian Man 8/23/08

Yes, the lament of the successful young adult. I wish I had Sam's problems.

Read more...

Sunday Comics April 27, 2008

Ah the Sunday comics. So much potential squandered week to week it can make you sick. This whole new thing I am doing with reading pretty much every single comic in syndication has turned out to be kind of depressing. There is so much mediocre stuff out there, not bad but not good either. Ah thank god for the good ones we still have.


Cul De Sac 4/27/08












I started reading this strip a little over a month ago and I love it. I can't quite pin down exactly why though. It's a slightly different style, the kids say hilarious stuff, and their eyes always convey a whole additional level of communication. I figured I should post comics I like on here too so I don't just look like a bitter old man on here.


Family Circus 4/27/08
















Fuck the Family Circus. This comic is the biggest waste of space on almost every comics page across the country. This is a perfect example, a two frame atrocity that leaves you wishing you'd never laid eyes on it. Someone should start one of those incredibly effective online petitions asking the Keane brothers to immediately stop drawing this horrible comic and put the comic down already.


Secret Asian Man 4/27/08

I'm pretty sure this is a rebuttal to yesterdays vomitorious State of The Union comic except this one is funny. SAM is usually kinda corny but he always manages to address race issues in a light-hearted way that keeps the comic off the editorial page. Plus you gotta love the eyebrows.


Slylock Fox 4/27/08
















Slick Smity has really lost his edge if he has fallen to the level of stealing his neighbors TV remote while she's working in the yard. Either that or Ms. Mayfair is broke as hell and after breaking in to her home and not finding anything worth stealing Slick took the remote out of spite. It's what I would have done.


Ziggy 4/27/08

















I have to confess I actually stopped reading Ziggy for a long time after high school. He seemed to be getting more and more depressed. Heading in a slow downward spiral towards self destruction I had to stop reading so Zig would know I didn't agree with his views on life. Well I can report Zig has beaten back those old demons and I'm guessing he has gotten some professional help. It's the only reason I can find for his 180 degree change since I have started reading again over the last year. Yay for Prozac!

Read more...