The DCR: Saturday Specials - 10/26/2013

by Hal Bent

Saturday morning...cold autumn morning in New England for yours truly this morning. Excited to be playing hooky from work (Saturday is optional? See you Monday!) and looking forward to an omelette!  OK, now I'm hungry...

9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney:

Not to be rude (no, wait, I'm supposed to be rude!), but this is lame.  End it already, McEldowney. Boring. Uninteresting. I hope this was a vacation in Aruba week and he just mailed this crap in as some filler from some time ago--that's the only excuse I will accept.

Adam@Home by Brian Basset:

Again I submit that these kids are not Adam's and the years of hints dropped by his wife are finally starting to stick. That said, he carved the pumpkins per the kids instructions? Makes sense to me, he hands those kids a knife and they're spending his life insurance two days later when the check clears and his body sits unclaimed in a morgue. 

Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II:

The Rancor awaits below, Ziggy! Hah-hah! (That makes Ziggy's doctor Jabba the Hut? Whatever, just run with it and don't kill my joy at Ziggy's demise) You have no jedi skills, Ziggy. The end is nigh!
Wait, are those hinges indicating he's just going to launch Ziggy into the wall...that won't kill him...he's got enough body fat to absorb that kind of blow.  Is there even a spring to launch him. Is it going to slowly rise and slide the chair five feet to the right? What the hell is going on here?

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The DCR: Saturday Specials - 09/07/2013

by Hal Bent

So much for "daily". This week got away from me in a hurry. Anyhow, no excuse for Saturday (only a half day at work, hooray!).  So without further ado, the Daily Comics Review (ooh, snappy. I might keep that!)

9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney:

Umm, where the hell is her nose in panel three? I mean, its just gone. I feel like I should use the Futurama term and say that her "human horn" is missing.  Hmmm, maybe it is being used as an aphrodisiac on Omicron Persei Eight. 

Adam@Home by Brian Basset:

I've got to say, as much as I despise Adam, I have the utmost respect for his wife: Sure, she made a horrible decision to marry the balding, potato-nosed, annoying, cloying, non-funny, hairy slob, but she has conviction: she has far too much belief in the sanctity of marriage; she believes her children need a two-parent dynamic; and she gets plenty of "you-know-what" on the side. 
That said, are they drinking coffee at bedtime. I initially assumed it was tea, but I see no teabag label. Sure, it could be a situation where some nice tea was brewed and not just hot water with a bag, but who knows.  It could be decaf, sure. But why are they both drinking coffee (always spoken in reverent terms by the hideous title character) at this time of night?
Ahh, Adam's wife is off for a little "you-know-what" on the side until 5 am and Adam is going to roll up in a ball in the bedroom, watch some late night Cinemax, and cry all night long.  

Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II:

A great plan by "IHZ Airlines": create an airline to fly one flight. Market said flight to the pantsless, big schnozz loser that goes by Ziggy, have three parachutes for the captain, co-pilot and one flight attendant. Fly with the only passenger the airline ever marketed to: Ziggy. Take off and crash the plane into a mountain, but first scare the bejesus out of Ziggy. Perfect. 

The Norm by Michael Jantze:

Nahh, this guy is just stupid.

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Saturday Specials

by Hal Bent

Not too much to count as "special" today.  I guess the cartoonists are getting a head start on their vacation plans and clearing out the junk leftover in the back of their sketch journals.  Either way, its the weekend, and sometimes that's all that matters!

Pluggers by Gary Brookins:

Next on Plugger CSI, the backyard of doom.  Driven by too many chores to frothing anger, the dog creature, realizing he is a chicken eating carnivore, brutally beheads the chicken creature he was married to all these years as base animal nature defeats the bizarre genetic engineering of this bizarre plugger world. 

9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney

As numerous studies of Junior High School and Middle School Dances has proven time and again, the grinding of hips by the female of the species to move her genital region closer to the genital region of the male of the species (see third panel) unequivocally trumps the removal of glasses.

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Saturday Specials

by Hal Bent

"Some days are dry
Some days are leaky
Some days come clean
Other days are sneaky
Some days take less but most days take more
Some slip through your fingers and onto the floor"
-Some Days are Better than Others by U2 (Zooropa)

Lot's of days slipping through my fingers these days.

"Hank says
The days, days, days
Run away like horses over the hill
The days, days, days
Run away like horses over the hill"

-Dirty Day by U2 (Zooropa)

The days are definitely getting away from me.  So since everyone reading knows now that the background soundtrack consists of the album that ran on repeat throughout my college days (God, I am old!).  Well, today is not slipping away, so onto the comic strips:

The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn:

I usually enjoy the Argyle Sweater, but I have to complain about this strip today. The men's room?  A cat wouldn't use a "men's room". The door should say "Litterbox".  Small point, I know, but it takes away from the humor.  

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Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen:

Wait, it's funny because he had a stroke?  That is some damned cruel humor there. 

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Ben by Daniel Shelton:

This is only intersting if the Sunday comic picks this discussion up tomorrow and the mom says "It was more of a brand, and I got it before I met father.  I was a 'member' at Sam & Maury's Dungeon, or the S&M Dungeon as its known today, and these seven fellows I was with at the time..."

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Born Loser, The by Chip Sansom

The Born Loser is auditioning for the role of Wilford Brimley.  Next week's strips are all about speaking to the reader about "diabeetus".

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9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney:

I'm not sure the strip loses much by replacing "a heedless hubba-hubba wongbonga ding-dong rapturama" with "a bone-a-thon".  In fact, I think it makes it more relatable and realistic.

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Saturday Specials

by Hal Bent

A lazy Saturday morning with rain all last night soaking the ground (and getting me out of lawn-mowing) and tennis on TV puts me in a mellow mood and ready to read my daily dose of newspaper comic strips.  Today is a good day to get in some ribbing at family and friends, show off my thousands of dollars wasted on an education that consisted of reading Shakespeare and writing long, boring thesis papers that had already been written by thousands and thousands of liberal arts majors through the years, think about what really happens with door handles, and get my occasional freak-out courtesy of Pluggers. 


Shoe by Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins:

I'm always up for a good Shakespeare pun, but the bar setting throws me off as lazy and unispired (Oh wait, that's like Shoe's trademark and stuff).  Why would anyone eat yogurt at a bar? Does the bar serve yogurt? Did he pull it outta his pocket?  Did you ever look at how much sugar is in yogurt? It's like eating half a bag of jelly beans. How did it get this reputation as a health food, anyway?

Back to the horrible Shoe comic: Why the Hamlet reference? Wouldn't it be funnier to go all King Lear and have the bird-creature with a jar of jelly upside down and a spoon and shout: "Out, vile jelly. Where is thy lustre now?" and instead of Cornwall plucking the eyeballs of Gloucester out, the summer community theatre bird-creature is simply trying to get jam out of a jar to put on his toast?  Now that would be humor!


Reality Check by Dave Whamond:

Look at that look of defeat and despair for life on the charactor's face!  He isn't pulling the finger and heariing the fart noise to open the door, oh no! He is dropping trousers and backing up into into the door.  I mean, you know in real life someone would be doing that to a door handle like that.  


Pluggers by Gary Brookins:

Pluggers, they're stupid? No, let me try that again. 
Pluggers don't have time for fancy, big city ideas like "plot", "theme", "symbolism" and "character development".  Nope, just pander to the lowest common denominator of the audience and slap on a trite and vapid ending at the conclusion and you have Pluggers paradise in the theatre. 

I try to stay away from Pluggers as a general rule.  I see the dog and chicken as a couple, think of them procreating, and get all freaked out and swear off Pluggers again.  I mean, the dog-person driving the car is going to want to kill and eat the chicken-creature.  When I was a kid at home on the farm, the dog took out a few chickens as a snack now and again.  I never remember the dog trying to procreate with the chickens. Damn it, Pluggers...you're doing it to me again! Get these thoughts out of my head!!! I HATE YOU, PLUGGERS!!!


Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau:

I'm just throwing this one out to see if any of my friends with PhD's are reading this morning.  Any real doctors here? Bwah-hah-hah!


9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney:

I love it when people propose at the end of the first date. I think that's what my brother has done (twice now). Bwah-hah-hah! I am cracking myself up this morning!  

Have a great Saturday and thanks for reading!

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Saturday Specials

by Hal Bent

Happy Memorial Day Weekend! It's 45 degrees and rainy, so any cookout, lawn mowing, or driving up to Boston and strolling around the city this weekend is not looking like its in the cards. Oh well, more time for me to read comics! 

Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein:

I fixed the toilet once.  I think this scene played out exactly...except I used more creative language (I like to create swears out of words used in odd sequences and non-sense words like I was Lewis Carroll), and my son wears glasses and isn't a smug shmuck like this kid, and my wife is much more attractive than this character.  Hmm, maybe it was nothing like this. 


Animal Crackers by Fred Wagner:

What the heck is this?  A grazing animal is approached with a bad pickup line? That's the comic strip? That's the joke? Where is the humor?  This comic wasn't funny 30 years ago when I was a kid, and here it is taking the place of some decent comic by a young talent.  


Luann by Greg Evans:

I love TJ's hands-on-hips fabulous pose in the first panel. The stank line coming from the engine in panels one and two.  The plastered on smile on TJ's face not changing in all three panels...doesn't change that I have no interest if he cons Brad into fixing his truck, I just want to see the menu!  Is it crepes? I bet it's crepes. 

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Saturday Specials

by Hal Bent

Welcome to the weekend! Apparently, the theme of the day in the newspaper comics is to have guys sitting on the coach.  Well, that's original. Oh yeah, I threw in some Born Loser, because that strip just raises my dander. 


Thatababy by Paul Trap:

"This Old House" because referencing a television show that was popular when Ronald Reagan defeated Jimmy Carter in the presidential election is how one connects their comic strip about a couple with a newborn baby to their audience.  Oh, wait, the couples creating a family are in the age range where they weren't born yet when Reagan left office, let alone when Carter left office.


Reality Check by Dave Whamond:

Speed Bump by Dave Coverly:

Yup, it's all about spaced-out fathers/husbands in a daze on the couch watching television, the drug of a nation. No laptop, no iPad, no other device. Out of date? Check. OK, let's keep the couch theme going!


Betty by Gary Delainey and Gerry Rasmussen:

Gotta give props to Betty today: with that sentence construction in the second panel setting up the punchline in the third panel, I am excited to see next week's strips where the husband uses his phone to productively search craigslist and the personal sites for the white man he presumably is adding to his marriage.  I refer back to the first panel, as the husband's double-entendre is referencing what kink will be ongoing once he works out the kinks.  


Born Loser, The by Chip Sansom:

Umm, the answer is corn syrup.  Manufacturers load ketchup (and catsup) with high-fructose corn syrup (aka sugar) to sweeten it enough for the American public and their never-ending quest for the consumption of sweets.

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The Daily Comics Review: Saturday Specials

by Hal Bent

Saturday Specials is where I envision a bit of a potpourri of comics: whatever strikes my fancy as Saturday is well-renowned as the weakest day of newspaper comics, often recapping the week, highlighting an event on Friday, or just mailing it in prior to Sunday.  With that, time to get to the Saturday Specials:

Bliss by Harry Bliss:

I had to include one from the funny pages: I hope one of my regular readers can help me out here with this one. I spent ten minutes reading it and had no freaking  clue what the heck was going on here. Phish shirt, hippie guy and gal, and a dog...all  hitch-hiking...in Vermont. I don't get it.  I really don't get it. It's well drawn, great depiction of the Green Mountains of Vermont, but I feel like either it is, or I am, missing something here. 


Off the usual track, where this was an unusual week, and instead of posting on Monday or Friday, I was glued to the news (online and television) with the horror in Boston with the Marathon bombing and all-day manhunt. That said, some editorial cartoons from this past week seemed to be appropriate here:

EDITORIAL COMIC: Attack Runners by Pat Bagley: 

EDITORIAL COMIC: Boston Tragedy by Christopher Weyant:

EDITORIAL COMIC: Inspirational Marathon Runners by Steve Breen

EDITORIAL COMIC: Boston Bombing by Michael Ramirez:

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