Not Your Father's Saturday

Today is a little different than most other Saturdays. Instead of giving you the worst (or best) of the week, I'm going to go through the week that was in Crankshaft. Crankshaft is one of the comic strip characters that I truly admire. He is everything that I hope to one day be: mean, grumpy, despised by all that know him.

This week was particularly strange if you read the week before which rocketed us into the future to see an even older Crankshaft in the nursing home watching a little league baseball game. If that wasn't a dream sequence and is the actual future, then this week was kind of pointless. But you'll see for yourself in a second.

Let us begin.



Crankshaft 7/27/09

Apparently Crankshaft likes to pretend to garden in a patch of plastic plants that he spray paints green.

Also, a snake, a snake, oh it's a snake!



Crankshaft 7/28/09

'Yapadoodle'? That's the best you could come up with? It only yapped one time. Seems like Yipadoole would be a better fit.

Also, it would be way more awesome if it was a badger instead of a dog.


Also also, I like that the neighbor's house is starting to phase out of the Crankshaft dimension.



Crankshaft 7/29/09

Why does the dog listen to Crankshaft? He's not it's owner and, as far as I know, he was never involved in its training. Very odd.

Also, if he's aiming to keep it quiet, he should aim his garden hoe at the dog. Those kind of dogs never shut up.



Crankshaft 7/30/09

I don't know tons about snakes, but I'm pretty sure that, at this point, the snake would go after the dog rather than the human. It just makes sense that the snake would go for the easier target.



Crankshaft 7/31/09

Again, the snake is not going to attack Crankshaft because the dog is barking at it. It's going to go after the dog. Crankshaft has done nothing to anger the snake at this point, so not much of this makes sense.

Also, as I mentioned earlier, we just spent a week in the future watching really old Crankshaft get wheeled to a baseball game, so it's pretty obvious that he isn't in any real danger here. Unless that was some kind of drug-fueled hallucination that Crankshaft had.



Crankshaft 8/1/09

Like I said, I don't know tons about snakes, but I do know that rattlers strike ridiculously fast. That means that the dog had to have jumped before the snake went to attack.

Also, rattlers do not attack like that. In fact, I don't know of a snake that lunges its entire body at its prey.

Also also, Crankshaft is bent at a very odd angle. And his neck appears to now be jutting from his sternum. His torso has lost quite a bit of its length. I guess getting attacked by a snake is so scary that it deforms your body. Makes me glad that I live where there are no poisonous snakes.




Just so you know, I listened to Badgers the entire time I wrote this.