Silence, you lazy Frankenstein! Drop that remote!

Herman:

"And at three different times, in three different years...??"

Bound and Gagged:

Dude, can you not read the sign?  It says QUIET!  I guess it needs to say "No dialogue balloons, please!" Then maybe he'll get the point.

Pluggers:

Pluggers also mix up the fork and the knife.  Knife goes on the right side, to the left of the spoon, and the fork goes on the left.  If there's more than one fork, the smallest one goes on the outside.  Come on, pluggers, you should know better.  At least they put the remote control in the right place.

Broom Hilda:

Here we have a prime example of the "I'm tired, stressed, and I've run out of ideas, but I have a deadline, so what can I put on the page that might be funny to a first-grader?" syndrome (also known as ITSAIROOIBIHADSWCIPOTPTMBFTAFGS, or colloquially as "Laziness").

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Chomp Chomp

All I want to do is post a bunch of comics at the DCR but for some reason the people at Comics.com feel that people don't read the comics until the late afternoon, early evening. When I first signed up at Comics.com, the strips were sent out between 2 and 3 in the morning, then it got later until I was receiving the email between 9 and 10 in the morning. Now I don't get the email until between 2 and 5. But enough ranting about technology, onto the comics.

Wee Pals and One Big Happy 1/12/10


Both these comics feature a guest appearance by popular sound effect "chomp" today. Neither of which is helped by this.

Also, does the joke in Wee Pals become less racist because it's a kid saying it or because the cartoonist is African-American?

Mary Worth 1/12/10

Yes, all kids without fathers turn out to be horrible, horrible people. I mean, look at me. I am a decent husband and father who spends his free time blogging about comic strips. Who knows where I could be with a father figure in my life.

Why does Kurt seem to be getting more hopped up and scruffier as the week progresses?

Beetle Bailey 1/12/10

Where did Lt. Fuzz get those General clothes? More importantly, where did he get the stars, bars and medals?

Red and Rover 1/12/10

So are we to believe that isn't a Twinkie he's going to eat but get your generic cream-filled sponge cake?

Family Circus 1/12/10

"If you two don't calm down I will park this car by a lake, get out, release the parking brake and watch the car roll backwards into the water!"

Comics.com finally sent the email so here are some strips from Comics.com.

Flight Deck 1/12/10

And it took you this long to figure it out? You couldn't just press your ear to the door and listen for Ray Romano's nasally voice?

Arlo & Janis 1/12/10

Arlo compliments his wife in weird ways. Why can't he just say "I love you" like normal guys? If you have to think about where the compliment might be, it's not really a compliment.

Herman 1/12/10

Who paints their floor? It should've been "mopped" or "waxed".

Pickles 1/12/10

I love when stuff spontaneously combusts.

Frazz 1/12/10

Frazz is supposedly to be a pretty smart comic strip but I've noticed several strips where Jeff Mallett has opted to change something for the sake of a joke. Today it's "Goldilocks and the Three Bears". Goldilocks wasn't upset about having to eat porridge, she was upset because the first two she tried were too hot and too cold. She did eat Baby Bear's porridge because it was "just right". Goldilocks shouldn't be upset at anything. She committed a B&E and trespassed and the Bears didn't press charges.

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Society is Lame

You people are stuck with me for another Thursday/Friday block. Today, it's just business as usual, but tomorrow... is Otter Pun Day. It will be spectacular. Now then, on with your commentary:

Bo Nanas, 1/7/10

I'm guessing it's also pretty lousy on days it rains, since the rain would cause the suit to become a soggy lump of newsprint. The guy's a jerk, anyway. Bo Nanas doesn't care about your stupid newspaper suit, all he wants to do is whistle at the bus stop.

Cow and Boy, 1/7/10

Except when would you know how to stop? How soon before cat-copters are hovering over every city, every house, waiting to descend upon children who don't live up to your definition of good? Don't go down this dark path, Boy. It's not too late.

Herman, 1/7/10

There's no way those legs could be connected to anything, unless they're connected to that dentist's chair. In which case, he's either servicing a chair with legs, or there's some sort of hole in space right there. So it's likely that his problems are far greater than a little mirror.

Non Sequitur, 1/7/10

First and foremost, she was the one who made the reference in the first place. Second, what sort of society is this where people who get geeky references are punished for it? Not a society I want to live in, that's for sure. I just hope that this woman's prejudices don't extend too far.

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Lets Laugh at Things That Aren't Funny!

LETS YELL AND LOSE OUR MINDS, OH YEAH!

Herman 11/17/09

OLD PEOPLE! BLACK AND WHITE TV AND KIDS NOT UNDERSTANDING IT! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Drabble 11/17/09

WOMEN TALK TOO MUCH! OH GOD GO SHAKE HER HAND A LOT HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Ben 11/17/09

PUT ON A SWEATER BITCH! OH I'VE ALREADY GOT A SWEATER ON YOU ASSHOLE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! THERMOSTATS! WINTER!

Bound and Gagged 11/17/09

GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE BROKEN PLATES SO I CAN GOUGE OUT MY EYES AND I"LL NEVER BE ABLE TO READ B&G AGAIN! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Herb and Jamaal 11/17/09

HERB IS AN AWFUL HUMAN BEING! LOL ROFLMAO HA HA HA HA HA!

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You Have No Chance to Survive Make Your Time

Greetings readers, I have an important message for you: The DCR now belongs to ME!!! Soon your planet will kneel before my might and I shall be known as Emperor of Earth. Mwhahaha!!

But until that happens you can enjoy my humorous observations about comic strips every Tuesday and Wednesday in addition to the News post on Thursday and the Saturday week in review.

Herman 6/2/09

Unless he was born in two separate parts, he was born on the third. A single person can't be born on two days. You can start on one day and finish the next, but you aren't born until you actually come out.

Also, I hope that's a snake baby or something or else that women will never recover.



Alley Oop 6/2/09

If you read all that text then I salute you. I couldn't even make it through the first panel. I saw 'Previously in Alley Oop' and ZZZZZZZZZ . . . damnit, it happened again.



Shoe 6/2/09

Shoe is pending for a bending by making a joke about spending.

Wow, it's hard to rhyme hateful sarcasm.



The Fusco Brothers 6/2/09

Are comic strips allowed to make fun of their own jokes? Isn't that mine and all the other comic strips bloggers job? I didn't read Fusco Brothers yesterday, but if it thinks its own joke was bad then it must have really sucked because Fusco Brothers isn't very good.



The Duplex 6/2/09

I have never heard either of those two statements, but it seems that if nature abhors a vacuum then nature really hates itself since most of the universe is a vacuum.

And regardless of what nature does or does not abhor, I abhor dust mops. Damn things, always cleaning up dust.



Bo Nanas 6/2/09

I'd normally try blinds over the windows before resorting to vandalism, but I suppose that I'm not dumb enough to put my bedroom right next to the street light.

Also, your retinas cannot melt without your eyes melting. And that would involve very high temperatures which would probably kill you and could not be produced by a normal street light.

But maybe that wasn't a normal street light. Maybe that one burned with the power of a 1000 suns.


Peace out y'all. I'll be seeing you on the morrow.

xy

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Saturday, It's no so new anymore

Welcome one and all to the DCR new Saturday. If anyone can think of a better name for it, I would be much obliged; New Saturday starts to lose meaning after everyone has forgotten about what Saturday used to be like.

Here's what Bryce had for me this week:

Herman 1/5/09If I won the lottery, the first thing I would do is by some decent clothes. That outfit is awful even for a someone living in poverty. And punching people is definitely a bad move, since you're rich everyone will be out to get you anyway so giving them a reason is not so smart. What you could do is pay someone to punch people for you, seeing as you're rich and all.



Off the Mark 1/7/09Do you really think that the Tinman's oil plug is in his ass? And why is the mechanic so shocked? He must have seen Tinman come in, and I don't think that Tinman has any genitalia.

I like how the other mechanic doesn't have any eyes, just a unibrow.


Close to Home 1/9/09
Do you really want a plumber that only has a plunger? I think most people try the plunger before they call the plumber. And it seems pretty unprofessional to be hopping around on a plunger that has recently been in shitty water. Also, I think that bouncing up and down on that thing when it's in the toilet would break the toilet, which would technically fix the problem I guess.

Whatever you think of the comic, you have to admit that "FWOP!" is an awesome sound effect.


I hope you enjoyed this Saturday. If you did, then you just might like my blog: The blog of comics and other stuff. It's not updated everyday, but features my style with comics that I pick out, as well as other things every once in a while.

And seriously if anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to submit them.

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Saturday Comics and a Movie

My cousin, Dustin Hall, has made a movie. Actually, a short horror film but essentially what needs to happen is this: you go to www.chillertv.com/D2D2/Videos and find his movie The Eldritch Investigation in the list of movies...it's usually the third one from the bottom, second from the left. Watch it (taking only six minutes) and vote on whether you liked it or not. The winners will be broadcast on the Chiller channel (check local listings) on Halloween night. Below is the movie anyway if you want to watch.



And now, the comic portion of the entry.

Ben 9/6/08

I normally don't laugh at this comic but this one made me chuckle. I'm starting to find it hard to believe in this day and age that people are still so worried about talking about sex.

Also I think the bees are faster but hummingbirds might be pretty quick.

Get Fuzzy 9/6/08

I think Hillary would've carried a bat but not Obama. Maybe we could get Biden to...

Herman 9/6/08

Another comic that doesn't normally make me laugh but was able to accomplish it today.

F Minus 9/6/08

My son just learned that old lady-slash-fly song so this is very topical in my household.

Girls & Sports 9/6/08

I love the Sgt. Snorkel snaggletooth on the girl. Maybe that's one of Snorkel's illegitimate daughters.

Garfield 9/6/08

For those of you who read Garfield Minus Garfield it appears that Liz has caught Jon's dementia or something as she is now slowly starting to lose her mind.

Also, donations are still be accepted for the American Heart Association. I am going to be walking three miles in Topeka, Kansas on September 13th for the AHA so if you want make a donation. All proceeds go to the Heart Association. You can a donation from my website, here.

Thank you for voting and thank you for donating.

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