The week begins, and how better to begin your week than with Arkholt giving you some moderately amusing comic blurbs?

Grin and Bear It:

What Senator Snort doesn't realize is that gravy trains can be retrofitted to run solely on gravy.  No need for a battery even.  It's a proven fact that gravy produces electricity when given the right motivation.  Unfortunately, no one knows yet what exactly that motivation is.  More study is needed.

Moose and Molly:

If he moved, and the building's being demolished, you think they'd remove the sign and the doorway.  If I was the big guy with the hat, I'd take the sign home and hang it on the front of my house so people thought I was an eye doctor.  I may have to do an actual eye exam or two to keep up the ruse, but how hard is it to shine a light in someone's eyes?

Bizarro:

Last time I did a Bizarro panel I made a fool of myself by not knowing about the hidden "symbols." I don't read Bizarro that much...  This one caught my eye, though.  I get the point, but here's my question: Where does the power cord for the projector go?  That's not easily answered by posting a Wikipedia link, unlike my previous Bizarro question.

Crock:

"Have you ever been...?" Does this imply that it's just around somewhere and you can get on if you want?  It appears you can only go on if you have a counterpart of the opposite gender with you.  Is this some side business that Noah is running?  Also, what's with the tent/igloo made of sand?  I guess it must stay cool in there.

Ollie and Quentin:

Not men, but in fact barbershop singing worms.  They could have been a quartet, but the other worm didn't feel like joining in, I guess.  Perhaps they'll fall into a pond and be some lucky fish's lunch.

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Shoe steak, forgetful fish, ellipsis errors, stealing spears... oh my!

It is the triumphant return of Arkholt from his "vacation," going to his sister-in-law's wedding and having to deal with all of his in-laws.  Nah, it wasn't that bad.  No need to feel bad about it, especially when there's funny comics to be read.

Hagar the Horrible:

What Hagar doesn't know is that that's actually the sole of a shoe.  I don't see how, since the tread is quite visible to me.  I guess to vikings, "steak" just means "shoes." That's why Lucky Eddie doesn't really need to cook it for that long.

Ollie and Quentin:

One question here: If the fish only has a seven second memory, why does he say "Not the seven-second memory thing again?!"?  The fact that he is annoyed by people asking him that means that he must remember that someone has asked it before.  Therefore, either his short-term memory only lasts seven seconds but he has a good long-term memory, or this strip wasn't thought through completely.

It's still cute, though.

Funky Winkerbean:

If Rachel had been paying attention, she would have noticed the ellipsis at the end of the guy's first speech balloon.  Then, she would have known that he was lying in the last panel.  Unfortunately, she was doing something else at the time and probably didn't have time to look.  Lucky break for that guy, I guess.

Alley Oop:

Really, if you have to go and get the full army in order to deal with just one guy, you might as well just forget it.  Also, he seems to have not only knocked them out with his large stick, but stolen their spears.  Who's to say that he couldn't do that with the whole army?  I'd just give up and go home.  Well, first I'd make a new spear, then go hunting, and then go home.  That is, if I was a caveman I'd do that.  If I was just me, I'd just go home.

I think lots of people would have trouble reading it, since it's so small.  In a newspaper, it would be even smaller.  Therefore, I will share it with you: "Stephan Pastis played with Star Wars figurines until he was 16 years old." That's not bad, actually.  I know plenty of folks who play with them and are much older than that.

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Ouija boards, strange medical tests, and those annoying horn things

Greetings.  I'm new around these parts.  My name's Ben Carlsen, AKA Arkholt, AKA the guy who also does the comic strip blog The Daily Panel as well as the new web comic The Bird Feeder, bringing you some comic blurbs, in no particular order.


Ollie and Quentin:

This one's just sad, for two reasons: first, the worm got smashed by the seat flipping up, and second, the bird actually has no way of following the rules.  His legs are not long enough for his feet to not be on the seat.  How these animals got into the theater in the first place is beyond me as well.

My Cage:

Wait a second here.  Why is this guy's heart inside his head?  Shouldn't it be in his chest?  Then again, perhaps his head IS in his chest, so his heart can be inside it and still be in the right place.  Wow, this guy's anatomy sure is messed up.

Curtis:

AAAA!!  Curtis' dad will know whatever he does, because he speaks with the dead!  You have much to fear, young Curtis!  Your father is a necromancer!

Heathcliff:

Wow.  I didn't know doctors had a test to determine that.  I'll have to make an appointment tomorrow to find out what I am.  With my luck, though, it's just something that vets are able to do, with their specialized animal tools.  No way my health insurance covers that.

Pickles:

I post this one only because I can also see it as a Pluggers strip.  "Google for Pluggers: ask your wife."

Crock:

This type of thing was funny back in 1920, but not anymore.  Strips had better art back then, too, so it made up for the fact that it was never actually funny to begin with.  I mean, seriously, can't you come up with a funnier way for them to make a bridge?  Have three of the guys span the gap and hold on to each others' feet at least.  That's about as old as this joke, but it doesn't look as desperate.

Working Daze:

Almost as annoying as the actual vuvuzelas themselves are all the annoying comic strips about them that I keep seeing.  Is their goal to make sure that the annoyance of the vuvuzela reaches even the people who haven't been watching the World Cup, such as myself?  If so, it has worked.  You can stop now.

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Pretty Sure

Are you reading Carafe yet? Both XY and myself have comics up there, so you should really be reading it. Now then, on with today's late commentary:

Momma, 02/04/10

I'm pretty sure Momma just walked in on her son and a prostitute. I'm also pretty sure that the son expects Momma to be put out by this, for some reason. What I don't get is how someone like Momma's son, who is portrayed as perpetually unemployed and lazy, can afford an apartment, let alone a prostitute. Does he just mooch all his money from his mother?

Also, if she's not a prostitute, then that just brings up a whole different set of questions based on the previous characterization of the son as a charisma-less loser.

Ollie and Quentin, 02/04/10

Humans attack sharks for sport and whatnot, sometimes, and humans are technically animals. I'm not saying we should be proud of that fact, I'm just saying it happens.

Dennis the Menace, 02/04/10

The concept of Mister Wilson crafting a terrible revenge plot against the spawn of Dennis unnerves me, but also intrigues me. What sort of revenge would Mister Wilson enact? Maybe black-mailing them into taking care of him in his advanced age, so that he could bother them as Dennis has bothered him.

Brevity, 02/04/10

I'm pretty sure the joke here is that the MIT guys are enraged by the fact that the Dave Parker Five has six guys in it. If that's the joke, then I think it's actually a pretty good one. If it's not, then what the heck is going on in this panel?

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OH COME ON.

I'm just going to repeat the same joke six or seven times, okay? Great. Here we go:

Beetle Bailey, 10/9/09

OH COME ON. Sarge doesn't have any friends!

Hagar the Horrible, 10/9/09

OH COME ON. A liquor license is needed to sell any sort of alcoholic beverage, including beer or wine!

Ollie and Quentin, 10/9/09

OH COME ON. That worm is not physically able to play that tuba!

Lio, 10/9/09

OH COME ON. Lio could not lift a pumpkin of that size that easily!

New Adventures of Queen Victoria, 10/9/09

OH COME ON. "Frog Applause" doesn't have any reoccurring characters!

Pluggers, 10/9/09

OH COME ON. Cracker Barrel doesn't take reservations!

Blondie, 10/9/09

OH COME ON. This is basically the same joke as the whole Mom's Diner thing discussed yesterday, except altered ever so slightly to become a little fresher, which doesn't mean that it's funny by any means but at least Blondie is trying, if only a little bit, which is good!

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