Saturday Specials

by Hal Bent

A lazy Saturday morning with rain all last night soaking the ground (and getting me out of lawn-mowing) and tennis on TV puts me in a mellow mood and ready to read my daily dose of newspaper comic strips.  Today is a good day to get in some ribbing at family and friends, show off my thousands of dollars wasted on an education that consisted of reading Shakespeare and writing long, boring thesis papers that had already been written by thousands and thousands of liberal arts majors through the years, think about what really happens with door handles, and get my occasional freak-out courtesy of Pluggers. 


Shoe by Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins:

I'm always up for a good Shakespeare pun, but the bar setting throws me off as lazy and unispired (Oh wait, that's like Shoe's trademark and stuff).  Why would anyone eat yogurt at a bar? Does the bar serve yogurt? Did he pull it outta his pocket?  Did you ever look at how much sugar is in yogurt? It's like eating half a bag of jelly beans. How did it get this reputation as a health food, anyway?

Back to the horrible Shoe comic: Why the Hamlet reference? Wouldn't it be funnier to go all King Lear and have the bird-creature with a jar of jelly upside down and a spoon and shout: "Out, vile jelly. Where is thy lustre now?" and instead of Cornwall plucking the eyeballs of Gloucester out, the summer community theatre bird-creature is simply trying to get jam out of a jar to put on his toast?  Now that would be humor!


Reality Check by Dave Whamond:

Look at that look of defeat and despair for life on the charactor's face!  He isn't pulling the finger and heariing the fart noise to open the door, oh no! He is dropping trousers and backing up into into the door.  I mean, you know in real life someone would be doing that to a door handle like that.  


Pluggers by Gary Brookins:

Pluggers, they're stupid? No, let me try that again. 
Pluggers don't have time for fancy, big city ideas like "plot", "theme", "symbolism" and "character development".  Nope, just pander to the lowest common denominator of the audience and slap on a trite and vapid ending at the conclusion and you have Pluggers paradise in the theatre. 

I try to stay away from Pluggers as a general rule.  I see the dog and chicken as a couple, think of them procreating, and get all freaked out and swear off Pluggers again.  I mean, the dog-person driving the car is going to want to kill and eat the chicken-creature.  When I was a kid at home on the farm, the dog took out a few chickens as a snack now and again.  I never remember the dog trying to procreate with the chickens. Damn it, Pluggers...you're doing it to me again! Get these thoughts out of my head!!! I HATE YOU, PLUGGERS!!!


Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau:

I'm just throwing this one out to see if any of my friends with PhD's are reading this morning.  Any real doctors here? Bwah-hah-hah!


9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney:

I love it when people propose at the end of the first date. I think that's what my brother has done (twice now). Bwah-hah-hah! I am cracking myself up this morning!  

Have a great Saturday and thanks for reading!