Guerrilla friend making

In case you've forgotten, I'm Arkholt.  Saturday is, of course, my day to do the comic blurbs.  It's also the day that I laze around and wait until after dinner to do them.  I read the comics and picked them out this morning, though...

Over the Hedge:

Amazing.  Hammy has amazing universe ripping powers.  I'd imagine it would be easy for him to travel into the future anyway.  He runs pretty fast, so all he'd have to do is run fast enough, and then turn left at the right time (anyone familiar with The Flash comics knows that's how it works).  He's not too smart, though.  He obviously doesn't know that pigs yodel now.  You just have to find the right ones, at the right farms.

Crankshaft:

Everyone knows that to make friends on the Internet, you don't just wait for them.  You have to go make them, whether they want it or not.  You have to use guerrilla tactics to make friends on the Internet.  Those who fall for it will become your friends.  Those who don't will never speak to you, though they're probably the ones you'd rather have as friends.

Rhymes with Orange:

 
This is one of the reasons I don't drink.  Of course, if the caption had said "six beers," the guy probably wouldn't have his tie and shirt on in the last panel.  He would probably still have his pants.  Then again, I don't really know what I'm talking about, since I don't drink.  Drinkers out there can tell me if this is accurate or not.

Working Daze:

 

I wouldn't call this type of person a "geek." I would call them obsessive, addicted, and in need of some type of therapy and possibly medication.  This seems like a debilitating disorder, and one that would probably disallow this type of person from ever entering a computer store.

Also, why doesn't he just have an iPhone?  When an email comes in, there's a friendly "ding," and you don't even have to check.  Problem solved.  Any other smart phone would probably work just as well.

 

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Identities, lies, and the cakes who tell them

Time for an afternoon snack and a cool glass of comic blurb goodness, brought to you by the one and only Arkholt (seriously, have you ever heard of anyone else named Arkholt?).

Watch Your Head:

 

Wow.  I've never had an ID, student or otherwise, that identified me so thoroughly.  I'd be afraid of how the institution knew all of these things about me.  I guess sometimes you can just tell from the photo, as in this case.  Usually my photos just send the message of "I'm smiling because I have to, but I hate pictures because I always end up blinking, and please take it as quickly as possible." At least, that's what I see when I look at them.

Over the Hedge:

Verne truly has an amazing body.  Not only is he a turtle who can take his shell completely off, exposing his tiny censor barred turtle butt, but the top of his head apparently flips open as well, revealing...  nothing, I guess.  If you opened Hammy's head, though, you may be disturbed by what you find.

Brevity:

 
I'm a little confused here.  I understand that the tornado caused the entire cake to be finished, sans icing, of course.  However, did the rapid stirring cause the tornado, or was she stirring and a random tornado happened to come by while she was stirring?  If it was the latter, she's in luck because she has a cake despite her house being destroyed.  If the former, she's in terrible shape because even though she now has a cake, she's destroyed her own house in the process.  I don't believe that getting a cake at the expense of your house is a fair trade-off.

The Argyle Sweater:

 
The only problem is you have to keep shaking it in order for the spirits to show you your future.  She also must never have anyone look at the other side of the table, because if they did they'd definitely spot the snow globe box.  Maybe it's one of those places where it's really dark anyway, so they wouldn't see it even if they looked.  Who knows.  I just know I would have hidden it underneath the table instead of beside it.

And finally, today's classic Calvin and Hobbes strip from Uclick:

Little do both Calvin and Hobbes know that it's actually already the middle of August.  Not only is time marching on, but both his calendar and his watch are entirely incorrect. 

That is unless he's going by the lunar calendar.  He'd be about right then.

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Zippy the zombie tap danced on the 4th and got heavily frisked by a toaster.

Good morning, all.  Arkholt again.  Last time, I neglected to mention my other comic blog thing, The Silent Penultimate Panel.  For those who wish, please check it out.

Here's more comic blurbs, which I hope will serve to wake you up a bit.

Zippy the Pinhead:

As today is laundry day for myself as well as many others, I hope that we will all find it as interesting as Zippy does.  I know I never do.  Neither the washers nor dryers at my laundromat have windows, so I can't watch them go round and round anyway.  They don't even have indicators for how much longer they're going to take, so I just have to wait there and hope they'll be done soon.

Good for Zippy, though.  He can make anything interesting.

Reality Check:

This is either extremely sad or extremely creepy or both.  I have to admit that "heavy frisking" is indeed a very amusing phrase, however.

They Flying McCoys:

"You're...  at toaster!  A toaster!  No, no...  is it a movie?  It's a movie!  The Brave Little Toaster!  Yes!  No, no, no...  No!  No more hints!  No hints!  I'm going to get this..."

Beetle Bailey:

Depending on how good Zero is at tap dancing, I believe that it could put people to sleep.  Of course, Camp Swampy could always just break down and buy a recording of Taps and play it over the loudspeaker.  Watching people fall asleep from Zero's tap dancing would be far more entertaining, though, I think.

Over the Hedge:

It would only really work to add him to the group if he was a zombie animal.  I'd read it if there was a zombie animal.  Like the skunk that they conjured up for the movie.  I'd love to see her dead...  er, I mean undead.

Flight Deck:

I bet people whose birthdays are on holidays get those kinds of questions all the time.  "What's it like?" I bet when they're kids it's cool, but the older they get the more annoying it must be.  "Do you realize you're the fiftieth person to ask me that today?  Do you realize you're not the only one who thinks it's neat to have your birthday on a national holiday?  Do you realize that fewer people are probably going to come to my birthday party because they're all out having 4th of July celebrations?"

Yes, as you guessed, I'd be only slightly bitter.  Good thing my birthday's not on a holiday.

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The Newer, Later Daily Comics Review

So yeah, this whole "work" thing is really eating in to my blogging time. Hopefully you will all forgive me some day and learn to love afternoon updates as much as the noon updates of yesteryear. One day they may return, but for a while it's going to be 2 pm or later.

F Minus 9/2/08

Tony Carillo wins whatever the competition was today, even if we weren't having one.


Sally Forth 9/2/08

WALL-E was the most touching movie I have seen in the last few years, I know how you feel Ted. Don't let anyone ever tell you you're less of a man for crying at an animated movie!


Over the Hedge 9/2/08

The DCR has come withing a hair of Twittering, but has so far managed to maintain sanity. Over the Hedge manages to be a strong daily comic when it stops regurgitating the "animals stealing food from people" bit that was played out in in my childhood with Yogi Bear.

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Daily Comic Strips of 5/20/2008

The Daily Comics Review is happy to bring you Tuesdays fine assortment of crappy comics. I have been searching lately for other people doing what I am doing and trying to make contacts within the small group of people with time to waste on blogging about comics. I have been surprised there is so little discussion by individuals on their own sites but so much commenting by visitors on established sites. Like I have said, if you like critiquing comics I want your help! I envision this site becoming a collection of comics commentators covering web comics, soap opera comics and regular old strips too. Contact me if you're interested.


Apartment 3-G 5/20/08








I am amazed that we have never seen any dope in this comic even though ti has been overwhelming the strip lately. Besides the fact that "Haley" has her vocabulary stuck in the 70's, Alan can't seem just let his inhibitions down to "have some fun". A3G has been the most predictable soap comic lately with this downward drug spiral sure to end in a job ending and/or family intervention. Personally I hope this plot line ends with a drug deal gone wrong and somebody getting shanked.


Over the Hedge 5/20/08








OTH is one of those dailies I read for the slight smirk it gives me almost every day. Today though I got a full chuckle from RJ and Hammy and their Lord of the Rings impersonation. Sorry Verne, nobody loves you.


Red and Rover 5/20/08








NO MORE FREAKIN CROSS-STRIP COMICS Sheesh! Those who have been following Mark Trail know all about the over-zealous dog-nappers but it seems they have gone way too far this time, making off with the next most-famous comic dog next to Marmaduke. Let us all hope for the swift return of Rover, because a strip called Red would just be communist.


Wee Pals 5/20/08







I have to confess something to all my readers today (all 2 of you). I hate Berets. They look bad on pretty much everyone, most people who choose to wear them as a fashion statement think they are being edgy when they are really being lame, and I would be fine if they were outlawed everywhere in the world except for France. Also this comic isn't funny, it's just depressing. I have complained about the mouths in this strip before, but today we have this ugly mug front and center in our final frame and now I'm not even interested in lunch any more.


Wizard of Id 5/20/08










Look, I know that he means what he said symbolically, but the idea of watersports in Wizard of Id was just too much for me to take without saying something. For a strip that has been boring for years, it appears all we needed to spice it up was a little urine fetish humor.

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