Imminent Death and Destruction
Hello. Some of you might know me from the Meekrat Entertainment Group, which shares a forum with this site. Anyway, here I am, with a whole load of comics to be mildly lambasted. I think there's twelve of them or something, but expect the number to dwindle as time goes on.
Cathy 7/9/09
Cathy is all about the slow domination of machine over man. It would seem our only hope of surviving the Robopocalypse is Cathy herself, still concerned with little things like interpersonal communication, in which case we're all pretty much screwed. I look forward to seeing her scream "ACK!" as the robots torture her.
Edge City, 7/9/09
Only Edge City has the moxie to tackle the ever-growing problem of Facebook addiction. Abby obviously needs help, and she wants it, will she be able to tear herself away from Facebook long enough to end this downward spiral? Considering how she's looking for answers in the very den of the demon, I doubt it. The next few weeks will likely consist of her slowly wasting away, or being forcibly put into Facebook rehab. It'll be a laugh riot.
Heathcliff, 7/9/09
I just like the fish in a bicycle helmet, and I wanted to share it with all of you.
Lola, 7/9/09:
Do you know who would really hate to see that? Luke Skywalker. He'd be all jealous of the little Hispanic girl getting to ride on his father's shoulders. He might even turn to the Dark Side himself and show Dora the Spanish word for "Getting decapitated with a lightsaber." It's probably an onomatopoeia of some sort.
Mallard Fillmore, 7/9/09:
Hey, look! The fetus is telepathically communicating about torture! So it's about abortion and torture! Sadly, this is about a hundred times better than the usual nonsense this strip puts out.
Annie, 7/7/09:
Supposedly, this is Little Orphan Annie. I have no idea if that's true, because there's a decapitated robot head bouncing down a street and and a guy named Xaxos being all angry and stuff. Ah, wait, creepy soulless Annie eyes. Even on the robot head... is that a decapitated cyborg head? Annie is far more interesting than I thought.
Birdbrains, 7/9/09:
Insecticide?! That bug wasn't trying to do drugs, he was trying to kill himself!
Committed, 7/9/09:
I have to call shenanigans on this, because the CandyLand board game has an actual, viable, movie-capable storyline and characters. You don't need to create some stupid villains hi-jacked from a dental PSA.
Eek, 7/9/09:
On a similar note, Godzilla is totally capable of messing up Japan with kids. He does it all the time, and brings the kid with him, or the kid gets kidnapped, or becomes the loneliness-birthed hallucination of a wimpy Japanese child. I'd imagine Japan would properly screwed if Godzilla showed up with a whole brood of young'uns, though, so maybe the parent Godzilla is just making sure that Japan is a viable source of destruction for years to come.
Maintaining, 7/9/09:
I think the better question here is: Is Halfrican-American a real term?
Reality Check, 7/9/09:
First and foremost, I realize it's a comic strip, so for the sake of the gag I'll just assume that's how bows and arrows work. They could have just said, "My crossbow went off", though, which would have solved all sorts of problems. I'll also assume a human being can live through that. My main issue, then, is how the arrow is lodged in his head. If he was cleaning the bow and arrow like any normal person would, the arrow would actually have gone through his leg, or at least it would be perpendicular to the angle it's at now.
Skin Horse, 7/9/09:
Sausage Picnic sounds dirty. Also, I can't figure out what's more disturbing: the fact that the dog is expecting the sausages to be poisoned, or the fact that the man cheerfully exclaims that they're not... this time.
Well, that's my inaugural effort here. It was filled with death and bereft of logic. And fun?
7 comments:
Welcome Mike! I'm glad someone else besides me has seen baby Godzilla of Godzilla jr. or whatever that awful movie was called. I will never forget that little kid, even though I wish I could.
The movie's Western title is "Son of Godzilla" I believe.
You would RESPECT that movie if you did seven deep bong hits with purple sensemilla. The film becomes positively Zen-like. Son of Godzilla blowing radioactive 'smoke' rings instead of a projected breath? AWESOME!
I am happy someone besides myself knows the Godzilla mythos.
...and 'Skin Horse' is a frighteningly bizarre 'toon! I love dogs (I have the hotel bills and k-y jelly receipts to prove it)
but how in the hell does a newspaper (I am assuming this horror show is carried in papers) allow this 'dog poisoner' strip to be published? It is not funny even to me...
Bryce, I've seen every Godzilla movie multiple times.
Hey, love your Spiderman blog, looking forward to your posts here!
Favorite Godzilla moment: Godzilla vs. king kong, when he lights Kong on fire with his breath and Kong crashes through a huge temple.
Sparky: Skin Horse isn't carried in any newspapers to the best of my knowledge. It's also not a joke-a-day comic (although admittedly most days have a joke). It's an ongoing story comic. The context that you're missing matters a great deal.
At this particular point in the series, the dog, Sweetheart, is dreaming of her time being raised by a mad scientist. That Sweetheart can talk is a result of the same mad scientist. We've established that the scientist is dangerous, insane, and evil. So poisoned sausage isn't completely off base.
That said, as a reader of the comic, I'm at a bit of a loss as to why he might have offered his creation poisoned sausage. We have established that he engineered his dogs with immunity to various toxins, so perhaps he fed them poisoned food as a test. Sweetheart being happy that it wasn't poisoned might reflect that while she can survive it, it might not be pleasant. But I really don't know. Not every comic works.
That bit of weirdness aside, if you're interested in long-form, humorous comics, Skin Horse is quite enjoyable. It's about a secret government organization, the inexplicably named Skin Horse, that is responsible for helping non-human sentient beings cope with a human world. Thus the Skin Horse team features a robot, a hive-mind of super bees, Sweetheart, and a Frankenstein's monster-like monster. The previous missions included helping a sentient lion who broke into a zoo to prove his bravery, but ended up being terrorized by monkeys, and rescuing a self-aware combat helicopter from the military who planed to destroy it.
Post a Comment