A Return

Well, your worst nightmare has come true. I am back with some hopefully funny commentary for you. For my return, I've decided to choose five strips from yesterday and five from today. After this, maybe you can go to my site. No pressure or anything.

Zits 12/14/09

I'd want freedom too if I were being fondled by the Black-Suited Santa of Death.

Crock 12/14/09

OK...so whose feet did you expect to have?

Mark Trail 12/14/09

I'm kind of hoping the rest of this week consists of that guy trying to dispose of Mark's body. "Hello, Reverend Parsons! Fancy meeting you in the middle of woods while I'm digging this hole. What's rolled up in the tarp, you ask? Not a dead body if that's what you're thinking!"

Hazel 12/14/09

"No, Hazel! That's not a toilet!"

Notice how her body is literally absorbing the tricycle? Also, where'd her package go?

The Better Half 12/14/09

Now I'm no economist but I think what's happening is that since no one has any money, businesses have to lower their prices to compete and stay in business meaning they make less and less profit and make less money to run their company. Companies that do not, are the ones hit the hardest during a recession leading, possibly, to shutting down. If Stanley did raise the cost of his thoughts roughly 2000% (right?) then he has just priced his brain out of business.

Mary Worth 12/15/09

Now, you know what would be awesome? If Wilbur agreed to meeting this young man and it turned out to be Ted with a new haircut and no mustache.

Broom Hilda 12/15/09

Are they just goose-stepping around town screaming "Deck the halls"? I ask this because the lyrics of Deck the Halls are pretty self-explanatory although I guess if they sang the whole song they'd be wondering what the hell a bough of holly is.

Beetle Bailey 12/15/09

"Naked? Isn't that a little gay?"

"It's not gay if both of us do it."

"I guess that makes sense."

Drabble 12/15/09

And why does Drabble care? It's just a Secret Santa--not the KGB. He should just take comfort knowing that he gets free brownies.