The Daily Comics Review: Swearing Off "Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs" Forever

I keep saying to myself I can't do this everyday.  But here I am sitting in front of the computers reading the comics and I just can't stop myself:

ANDY CAPP By Reg Smythe:

Andy Capp is a long running adventure of a Brit named Andy and his long-suffering wife, Flo.  Andy, as all Americans imagine the average roustabout Brit, plays snooker, darts, and footy; drinks to excess; drinks to excess and then fights with the wife; bails out of any opportunity to get a job; and generally drinks to excess and fights anyone available who slightly insults his sensitive sensibilities. 

Andy Capp has a script: it's one of the above everyday, or, a combination of them.  Today, Andy has already reacted to a perceived slight from a waiter and violent mayhem as ensued. Andy Capp is, as another famous Brit wrote about an Italian guy, "as constant as the Northern Star. Of whose true-fix'd and resting quality. There is no fellow in the firmament." (It was Shakespeare from "Julius Caesar" -- Sorry, I have to get some mileage out of that liberal arts degree I wasted so much valuable time and money on in my wasted youth earned through hard work and dedication and have used to advance my career and provide for my family. 

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BEN by Daniel Shelton:

Is it funny because he is old and confused? He has early onset Alzheimer's Disease and therefore is a subject of ridicule?  That or some other form of dementia? Or, he truly can't tell his wife from the dog, which is kind of creepy. I think this comic is about ridiculing the elderly. It's not trying to be funny, this comic is simply mean-spirited.   So the comic creator is showing the decline of modern morals by ridiculing the older generations and showing the scorn they are subjected to by the younger generations.  Quite a powerful statement to make in the funny pages. (Or, it's just not funny or deep, and Shelton likes making fun of old people).

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BOTTOMLINERS by Eric and Bill Teitelbaum: 

This comic isn't here because it's funny. No, it's here because it appeals to a extremely small demographic, namely me.  A former career in executive job placement and now a government employee? Wow. They are targeting me!  I feel so special.

That said, another lame joke about diddle-daddling, lazy government workers? Lame.  Another joke that was old when I was a kid.  Add in all the layoffs, early retirements, and attrition in our agency, and even the lazy old-timers are forced to work hard whether they want to or not.  We are all doing more work with less. But, yeah, since we work in government, we're automatically lazy.  More slings and arrows to endure. Ouch, you fine gentlemen have wounded me to my core.

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BAD REPORTER by Don Asmussen:

Not as familiar with this comic, but mildly entertaining. My nine-year-old daughter found the puppy bowl story amusing, so it has that going for it.  It caught my eye in that in a similar vein, my friends and I would create our own "fake" newspaper in study hall.  We would buy copies of the Weekly World News or National Enquirer or other trash tabloid and then cut and paste (literally with scissors and glue, no computers in the classroom back then) the headlines and re-write the stories with classmates and teachers and extremely inappropriate subject matter.  Looking back on it, I don't know how our "newspapers" were not confiscated by the administration and we were not expelled. Most of the stories were so graphically inappropriate and unsuitable for the environment that in today's politically correct culture it would jail time and headline news for sure.  

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CUL DE SAC by Richard Thompson:

This is me with my family. I make jokes, and I get uncomprehending stares from them.  But at least I have a full head of hair! Hah, suck it, father in this comic strip who is as real as Manti Te'o's girlfriend (I take small victories wherever I can get them!). 

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BREVITY by Dan Thompson:

OK, I hate to mix newspaper comic strips and superhero comic books, but in the Marvel Universe Reed "Mr. Fantastic" Richards uses unstable molecules to create uniforms for the Fantastic Four so that it stretches when he stretches, it turns invisible when his wife, Sue "The Invisible Woman" Storm, turns invisible, doesn't burn up when his brother-in-law, Johnny "The Human Torch" Storm turns to flame, and doesn't rip when his best friend Ben "The Thing" Grimm who is Incredible Hulk sized flexes.  In the comic books, Bruce "The Incredible Hulk" Banner is friends with fellow scientist Reed Richards.  

So I have to agree with the strip here. Why is the Hulk ripping his clothes all the time when the solution is known and used by his friend?  Granted, he is not as impressive on the page without his green muscles flexing and ripped clothes all about (gotta stop the description so the wife doesn't get all excited!), but overall, good point made in the newspaper comic strip about the superhero comic books.  

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MONTY by Jim Meddick:

"Nathan's Famous"? As in hot dogs. Skinny jeans. This is about Monty's penis.  On a Saturday, usually the least-read comic strip day (the seven people who still read newspapers tend to buy them on Sunday, and then Monday to Friday), Jim Meddick decides to drop the first three letters of his last name when making his joke in Monty.  Wow. I am flabbergasted, that is pretty blatant.  Of course, now I am covering the final panel on the computer screen...I don't have any desire to search for detail in the drawing of Monty in his skinny jeans in that panel.   "Nathan's Famous".  Monty's skinny, hot dog like genitalia referenced in the comic strip.  Ugggh.  TIME TO MOVE ALONG TO THE NEXT COMIC STRIP. 

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THE FUSCO BROTHERS by J.C. Duffy:

Erotic Illustrations on a menu? No one say anything about Nathan's Famous hot dogs. Or Monty. 

TIME TO GO!  NO MORE! NO MORE!

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