Liquefy the Street Melons

Big Top by Rob Harrell:

I love phrases that sound dirty, but really aren't.  Like anything referring to kumquats, for example.  It sounds like a bizarre sexual euphemism, but is actually a tame word.  I am definitely working "I haven't had quiche this moist in ages!" into a conversation on St. Paddy's day when feasting on quiche before the corned beef and cabbage.  Of course, I'll laugh like crazy and no one will know why I find it funny, but why should I start NOT humiliating my wife when we go to a party now?


Gasoline Alley by Jim Scancarelli:

So this is what happens when you skip Gasoline Alley for a few days: cross-species marriage.  When last I checked, Red Hat Bumpkin was negotiating a dowry for Black Hat Hillbilly's daughter.  Apparently, I skip a few days and it's full-bore bestiality in the comics pages.  Look at that donkey (mule? Is it already a cross-breed?), he/she is pretty darned happy for the honeymoon with Red Hat Bumpkin. 


Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis:

I love Rat. That is all. Sometimes the best character in the comics pages needs to be acknowledged.


Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II: 

The waiter wants Ziggy to be mutilated by the Lobster! Hah! I wish I was just an impartial observer, but I am totally partial to the Lobster.  I'd love to see him crack that idiot Ziggy open.  Even better, he's at the Lobster Hut, so I can take a short drive down to historic Plymouth, MA and get a table and watch that idiot Ziggy get his just desserts.