Not for the faint of heart

Hey, folks! I'd just like to ask all cartoonists that if you have a problem with what I (Mike P) have to say about your comic strip, please confront me yourself. And if you're a reader who doesn't like what I have to say, please don't just resort to personal insults (like calling me a hack) and making random accusations at me. As I'm sure we're all intelligent, mature individuals we can resolve any differences we have through calm discussion. Thanks a bunch.

9 to 5, 9/3/09

The good news is that you've got a working cell phone, computer, and wi-fi connection on a desert island. You can get off that island. Unless, of course, this poor fellow has gone completely insane and is just imagining that he's having conversations with people and submitting things to magazines.

Beetle Bailey, 9/3/09

I don't know what's the most disturbing thing about this: the fact that they're torturing Sgt. Snorkel, or the fact that Beetle Bailey is dealing with fairly current events.

Cleats, 9/3/09

Ultimate fencing (which seems to involve people bringing in whatever sword-like weapons they want to use) is a fantastic idea, and one I can totally get behind. However, this strip disturbs me because one prepubescent child is envisioning another prepubescent child in a metal bikini, and that's just all kinds of wrong.

Dick Tracy, 9/3/09

The ringmaster is in love with the tiger. Oh god, but today's comic page is like looking into the true face of an elder god.

The Grizzwells, 9/3/09

The second panel should be, "Obviously, they're two different sports." But then we couldn't have the... "punchline" in panel three. I think this is the worst attempt at a joke I've ever seen outside of a political strip, or my least favorite comic strip. I mean just... wow. Usually this strip is pretty decent, but I guess everyone has their off days. And at least the bear has the decency to look horrified about it. Thank you for being self-aware, bear.

Herb and Jamaal, 9/3/09

This, however, is just downright gross. And Jamaal wonders why he can't get with Yolanda...