The Government Says You Have To Read This
Apparently you didn't heed my request to tell me about married life with a comment. Today my request is much simpler.
New Adventures of Queen Victoria 7/21/09
Apparently this week is 'Bash Dane Cook Week' at NAQV. While I agree that he's a tad overrated, comparing him to what passes for SNL these days just isn't fair. And yesterday they said Garfield was funnier. Listen, a bag of sand on your balls is funnier has more wit and hilarity than Garfield and Dane is clearly better than a bag of sand on your balls.
Also, some of Dane's movies are not entirely horrible. The same cannot be said of the Garfield movies.
The Middletons 7/21/09
If you think the government is controlling the auto companies here are few things you need to do right now:
1. Groom yourself. Because you're most likely the type of person that thinks the government is watching you through the mirror. Guess what? They aren't. They don't care about you so go take a damn shower.
2. Find a job. Because you think that by working and paying taxes the government will chemically sterilize you in your sleep. Guess what? They can't do that and they don't want to. Besides, your chances of reproducing are slim to none anyway.
3. Finish your GED. Because you never finished high school because you didn't want the 'Man' to tell you what to do. Guess what? The only thing the 'Man' is interested in is how to make more money. Seeing as you have no skills because you didn't finish high school, he doesn't even know you exist. And even if you had your diploma, you're so stupid that the 'Man' wouldn't want anything to do with you.
Sorry about all that. Things got away from a little bit.
C'est La Vie 7/21/09
Um...ok. That works for me. Although it is odd that a woman thinks that a man can't possibly be friends with another woman just because she has ginormous juggs. Men think women can be friends with other men that have huge trouser snakes. Although a large member isn't as obvious as large breasts.
God I love to type that.
Breasts. It just feels to good when you type it. Why don't you try it right now?
7 comments:
Hey, you know what? I always read these posts. I don't usually comment, but I don't usually comment most places.
Breasts.
Yeah. You're right. It does feel good typing that. :)
Of course you have to have rap or game when you are married! Well, maybe not rap or game, but you have to have something. You must be male, so here's a tip for dating and married life. Make her feel sexy and desired. And occasionally try to take her underwear off at the dinner table. Or maybe after dinner if you have kids at the table. Or if you do have kids, use your toes and keep it all under the table.
Dane Cook is objectively awful. He is egregious.
As for the married thing: yes, you should endeavor to make your spouse feel special. It's easy to take them for granted when the daily grind weighs heavy and endless.
That said, the cartoon's depiction of the idea of being tongue-tied at the thought of mackin' on your spouse? Aggressively stupid.
Like Dane Cook.
BOOM! CALLBACK!
I thank you for all your comments. But I notice that only one of you listened to today's request. So thank you most of all to Numbat.
Also, firedmyass, while I agree that Dane is not nearly as good as he is portrayed, somebody obviously thinks he's pretty funny as he has made millions of dollars from his tours and his movies.
Breasts. Breasts. Breasts.
Type it enough and it begins to look misspelled. Gotta admit, does feel good.
XY,
Uh... I did type "breasts." Repeatedly. You said nothing about it being in one's comment.
And, Dane Cook's earning prowess is spectacularly irrelevant to his quality as a comedian (unless one is trying to make an inverse-proportion statement).
I mean, Larry the Cable Guy has had 3 gold albums. GIT-R-DUN!!
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