Thursday, June 4, 2009

It Looks Like We Have Some Breaking News

And now we arrive at a regularly scheduled post by me. The cartooning news has been pretty damn slow the last few weeks and this week is not exception.

From 6/1/09:
Horrible Comic Strip Still Exists

It seems that Mallard Fillmore has now been around for 15 years. If you listen closely, you can hear weeping and gnashing of teeth off in the distance.



From 6/3/09:
Oldest Teenager in History Finally Gets Lucky

Well, he's getting married anyway. That's right, Archie is going to marry Veronica. Does anyone honestly even read Archie comics anymore? I'm sure that 20 years from now the writers will make them become not-married.



That's what I got for you this week. Keep reading or else gnomes will eat your pubes. Unless you like that kind of thing, then they'll barf half-digested pubes on your face.

2 comments:

Sparky June 5, 2009 at 8:10 AM  

Mallard Filmore makes me ill.

Archie? I read the comic books when I was 6. Is that still being published? Veronica? That is who he will marry? Good luck, schmoe! She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and will require a shit-load of money and pampering to make happy. Should have chose Betty. She could be happy with a monkey wrench and a rented DVD.

I need a fucking drink...

Rick Freebs June 5, 2009 at 6:33 PM  

I predict that Veronica is excited and agrees,
then her father rejects Archie, who (no longer allowed to marry Veronica) settles for asking Betty to marry him. Betty will be offended that she was his second choice, and will say no,
but will soon come to regret it when Archie releases his frusterations by sleeping with Sabrina,
who will make things complicated and even more traumatic by magicking her hymen back into existence.
Oh, how I love Archie.

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