Please be gentle...

Party People!

Hi, I'm Jorge, and I'll be your Monday/Tuesday reviewer. You don't need to know anything about me except my love for comics. Well, and that it's a tough love. If these comics are going to face the real world someday, they need to straighten up and behave, damnit! I mean it, comics! Don't make me come over there!

Beetle Bailey

Bad comic! Bad! If your boss asked you to get a cup of coffee and a donut, and you bought both but ate the doughnut, you'd come back and say "Here's your cup of coffee, they were out of doughnuts." Not "Here's your stuff from the coffee shop." Stuff? Stuff, Beetle? Stuff = 1 cup of coffee? Bad Beetle!

Bizarro

Good comic! Excellent satirization of poor management. Wow, a funny Bizarro? That's like the bizarro world of Bizarro. You see, because bizarro world is opposite. And Bizarro comics are usually really lame. I'll stop now.

Dennis the Menace

When you consider the fact that Mr. Wilson hasn't killed Dennis once over the last fifty or so years that they've both been trapped in this comic time-warp, I think he's shown tremendous willpower.

Family Circus

Just going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing this is the least of the Keanes' worries when it comes to neighborhood hijinks and pranks. I'll bet dollars to donuts their aluminum siding has a thick layer of egg yolk.

The Wizard of Id

Wow, that's thoroughly depressing and pathetic, but weren't you supposed to come up with a joke? Bad comic!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith

Yes! Finally! The "high-five" has reached Southern Appalachia! At this rate, the "fist bump" should hit them in...oh, about 2043.

The Dinette Set

OK, full disclosure time: I am one of the few comic reviewers who actually likes The Dinette Set. Yes, the jist of every strip is the same: "Ha ha! Look at the uncouth lower-middle class midwesterners!" But the dialogue is good, and the oblivious selfishness always gives me at least a snort. But, I want you to observe something about this comic. They always uncharacteristically have Burl, Vern, whatever the hell their names are, make fun of gas guzzlers, and in the process, the comic seems to mock hybrids and fuel-efficient cars in general, which always seems to stick out like a sore thumb, with the otherwise uppity parody usually found in the strip. Anyone? Anyone? OK, well at least read that strip regularly and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Spiderman

I would have the utmost respect for this comic if the first panel of tomorrow's comic was Mary Jane stammering "Uh...Peter, hi. Um...you haven't been around in awhile...I kinda thought you died in the blackout, and...well..."

Second panel: *Peter opens the door all the way to reveal Electro in nothing but a towel and slippers!*

Third panel: Electro: "Ahahahah, Spiderman! Did you really think I turned myself in? That wasn't even my son! It was all a clever ruse to screw your girlfriend! And it worked! Mwuahahahah!"

But of course, what will really happen is, Peter will mope in, sit on the couch with Mary Jane and they'll channel surf for a week, with a few thought balloons of Electro and his son grinning happily sprinkled in for good measure.

Whooomp, there it is! I'm done.

Jorge