New Year's Angstravaganza

We close out another year. We've lost a few good comics, lost some bad ones, and some I have no opinion of, really. Also, my comic, Time-Mind Sync-Warp, has been going on for a year tomorrow! So go check it out. Why should you? For today I am giving you commentary on 85 comic strips. Well, some commentary and some existential angst. Most of them have something to do with New Year's Eve, others don't, and I'm sure I missed a few that do or have some up here that aren't technically New Year's Eve related. Still, 85 strips. Let's start with the three that aren't New Year's Eve related:

Andy Capp

Andy Capp really isn't the pinnacle of wit and my bizarre fascination with the character stems mainly from high school and a diet heavy in cheese and hot fries, but today's entry is particularly weak. Yes, Flo, a can of beer would be something else. So would a llama, or a tube of toothpaste. It's not a very difficult term.

Spider-Man

It looks like they're going through with it. Good on you, Spider-Man.

The Quigmans

Those rumors are wrong, because pesticides would kill him. That's what they do. Kill insects.
Onward to the extravaganza...

All right. Now for our New Year's Eve extravaganza. Lord help us all. In
9 Chickweed Lane

95% of this strip is just people dancing, you know.

Adam@Home

It's not really a ball of light, but rather a light-covered ball. It'd be neat if it was an actual ball of light, though.

Agnes

There's a startling amount of comic strips here whose punchline is that the new year makes people depressed. This is just the first of many.

Alley Oop

Look at poor Dinny. He wants nothing to do with this, but knows that Alley Oop holds the key to his fate. Look how far he's run in the last panel. He's getting out while the getting is good.

Arlo and Janis

Also a common occurrence? Jokes about people sleeping at midnight on New Year's Eve. There's probably a few that combine both this and depression.

Baby Blues

A better punchline would have been "until 2012", but that's just my opinion.

Back in the Day

One good thing about doing this is that I learn the name of so many comic strips I usually just pass by. Like this one. I have nothing to say about it other than that.

Bad Reporter

I think we've talked about this once or twice on the DCR, but I'm unsure. Anyway, yeah. Not technically New Year's Eve, but it's about 2011 and all that.

BC

I think he tripped over the rock, or jumped off it, but it doesn't really matter because I kind of like this one.

Betty

Those are about the worst two things to use as a benchmark of human (or ape) achievement.

Birdbrains

I'm not exactly sure what's going on here. Yes, the storks are picketing, but are they supposed to be storks carrying Baby New Year? Is that what they're doing? Or just delivering babies in general? It's all just silly.

Blondie

Just barely a New Year's Eve strip. I'd like to point out the background details. Actual movement and whatnot!

Bob the Squirrel

Another one about depression, or at least that's the vibe I'm getting from this.

The Born Loser

Or maybe... you OTTER have done things differently? Remember, folks, Otter Pun Day is on January 8th, only at the Meekrat Entertainment Group.

Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee

...a downside is having to pay close attention to strips I've taken to skimming over because I hate them. Like this one.

The Buckets

That kid has weird eyes. Hey, I promised commentary on 85 strips. I didn't say it'd be good commentary.

Cathy "Classics"

I remember reading this the first time it was in the newspapers. It's still not funny.

C'est la Vie

That guy is gross. You're getting quantity over quality today, what can I say?

Compu-Toon

I hope he has a good reason for not being with this dear companion, especially one so dear he'd apparently kiss his phone just because they texted him.

Crock

Oh look, bizarre poorly-drawn wanton cruelty. Must be Crock!

Daddy's Home

This strip's title is menacing. I imagine the titular Daddy barging in with a double-barreled shotgun with a manic glean in his eye and going after everyone in the house.

Deflocked

There's also a lot of "I'm too perfect to make any resolutions" jokes, unfortunately.

Dinette Set

It's telling that they're spending New Year's Eve alone. No one can stand the Dinette Set characters, not even other Dinette Set characters.

Dog Eat Doug

I can't tell if the joke is that neither one knows how to tell time or they intend to cause a ruckus. I really hope it's the former.

The Doozies

This joke is all well and good, but what if he had drawn Santa with a Hitler mustache? That would have been quite funny. Hold on, I just realized I lead a life where that last sentence makes perfect sense. I'm not sure what to think of that.

Family Circus

Another joke about not making it to midnight. So long, sucker!

Flight Deck

Another joke about not making it. Or making it by any means necessary? You be the judge.

Flo and Friends

Another resolutions joke. Man, Brian Russel was right. There's pretty much nothing new under the sun for holiday jokes.

Frank and Ernest

I hate this strip.

Frazz

I don't hate this strip, but I am fairly sick of Frazz himself, for some reason.

Fred Basset

Another joke about not making it. At least Fred can tell time, I guess.

Free Range

There's also a lot of jokes about the ball dropping. In fact, who am I writing this for? No one is going to be reading this. It's New Year's Freaking Eve.

Frog Applause

Were it not for me deciding to do this and stick with it, I could be out and about right now, gallivanting and being social!

Funky Winkerbean

Yet here I sit, reading Funky Winkerbean. I don't get this. I feel it's supposed to mean something, but I'm not getting it.

Fusco Brothers

At least that wolverine is as baffled as I am. Oh god, I know that's a wolverine. I know far too much about all these comic strips.

Gasoline Alley

Perhaps this storyline will end with Skeezix (I think it's Skeezix, it might be Walt) dying? Not the first time someone's died in Gasoline Alley.

Girls and Sports

OH GOD I KNOW ABOUT GIRLS AND SPORTS. WHAT SORT OF HELL HAS MY LIFE BECOME?

Grand Avenue

It's not all bad. There's... uh...

The Grizzwells

...come on, comic strips. Throw me a bone, here.

Heathcliff

No, trying to pander to my nostalgia is not throwing me a bone!

Hi and Lois

It looks like Thirsty is wearing a cape in the second panel. Will that do it? ...no.

Home and Away

You know, pondering my existence and the fact that I have a decent knowledge of these characters rather than actually reading the strips is making this go a lot faster. Still, this is spiritually crushing.

In the Sticks

...especially when I'm given a politically-minded strip. Oh, go to hell. It's a decent punchline though.

JumpStart

Another joke about not making it to midnight. I'm not going to make it to midnight, what with all these comic strips CRUSHING MY SOUL.

Kit and Carlyle

...not only am I totally unimpressed by this strip, but the song that just popped on is one that I really don't like. I NEED VALIDATION, UNIVERSE!

La Cucaracha

...I have nothing to say about this strip. Didn't they try to give the E*Trade baby his own sitcom? I'm glad that failed. Proof that the world isn't so terrible. Is it the validation I need? No. No, it's not.

Lio

Oh, look, Lio being Lio. Usuaully this would please me, but today? It's just another step towards me being done with this. Tally ho!

Loose Parts

Another joke about the ball. Oh, and budget cuts. Man, glad I pressed on.

Love Is

This is either a joke about not making it, or considering how they're naked in bed, they're banging and they want to keep banging until the ball drops. So make of that what you will.

Luann

No one cares about you, Luann. NO ONE.

Marmaduke

In fact, I care more about Marmaduke than I do about Luann. I'm sad no one's going to come to his party. Dear god, I feel pity for Marmaduke. I may as well slit my wrists, there's no going up from here.

Marvin

YOU ARE ALSO SOMEONE I HATE, MARVIN. YOU AND YOUR LAME RESOLUTION JOKE.

The Meaning of Lila

...I've actually been to Pier W. I think I did, in fact, have the lobster. That, and a kind of cheese. This makes me feel a little bit better, so thanks, Meaning of Lila.

The Middletons

Another joke about not making it to midnight. You jerks.

Monty

...I like Monty. I like the joke here, as it's something somewhat new, or at least not overdone.

Mother Goose and Grimm

You're at least a quarter-century old, dog. You're a syndicated comic strip that has a solid foothold in the newspapers of the world. They won't let you die, opting instead to kill under-performing newcomers.

Mutts

Mutts: Proving that it's just as profitable to be cute as it is to be funny since 1994!

Mythtickle

I remember a sitcom or something mentioning this, and how sad the characters were that they would no longer be able to wear such glasses. It may have also been a comic strip. They all run together when you've been doing this long enough. Or when you do 85 in one sitting.

Nest Heads

Another joke about not making it until midnight. Those kids must be awfully thin, too, to fit two abreast on a couch.

New Adventures of Queen Victoria

I'm not sure what to think of you, Queen Victoria, as I see you as a hybrid rip-off of the currently comatose Thinkin' Lincoln and Wondermark. I don't trust you.

Off the Mark

I think I have like, two left after this! Oh boy! Almost done!

On a Claire Day

...no. I've got twenty more to do. They reorganized themselves. Curses.

On the Fastrack

Did you know the person who does this and Safe Havens has one of the longest running web-comics? It's true, I guess. It's about anthropomorphic animals. I've never read it, only read about it.

Over the Hedge

Another joke about perfection denying resolutions. Some day, you'll all pay.

Pajama Diaries

I could be... well, not at a party. Just somewhere not posting comics. That's how dedicated I am, people! I am denying myself social interaction to do this! It's so very honorable and so very pathetic at the same time.

Pickles

Another resolutions joke. I'm seriously reconsidering the comic I was going to do after I finish with this.

Piranha Club

I wouldn't eat a cake that someone had been in. That's super-unhygienic.

Pros and Cons

In the parlance of the strip, nothing to see here. Move along.

Real Life Adventures

...come to think of it, why is the new year such a big deal? We just make it a big deal. We just make it up to be a new slate, but it's really not. I'll still be in debt with crippling emotional problems come tomorrow. Nothing is special about the first, except I'll have to start writing 2011 on the checks I don't have the money to write.

Red and Rover

I always forget how long this takes. I've done it a few times, but I always forget, and how hard it gets.

Ronaldinho Gaucho

New Year's Eve is probably the worst, since no one can really object to it, so cartoonists have free reign to do whatever they want. It's going to be January 1st all over the place, and though many places may have their cultural new year's day on a different date, business-wise it's New Year's Day for everyone.

Rose is Rose

It's not religious, after all, and while the fiscal year begins later, this is pretty much officially the only day of the year the entire world can celebrate without persecution. Is that why this is such a big deal?

Safe Havens

I mean, yes, in other places it happens sooner or later, but the clock will always turn towards January 1st within a day or two of every other clock.

Sally Forth

Enough contemplating, I want to sally forth and get this done. See what I did there?

Scary Gary

I like this strip, too. It's that right kind of bizarre that things like Wizard of Id or Broom Hilda attempt to do but seriously fail at.

Tiny Sepuku

I like this one, too. They went with a resolutions joke, I see. I think his goal of becoming a tenth-level magic user is a worthwhile resolution, though.

Todd the Dinosaur

I feel bad for Todd, but then again, he is a big clumsy dinosaur. How long will it be until he starts eating people? Shouldn't he already be eating people?

Wee Pals

I hate Wee Pals, too. It's stupid and I hate it.

Wizard of Id

Not a bad strategy. I like how this and BC have gotten so much better since their creators died.

Working Daze

I'm not sure why they decided to split up a vertical panel into three horizontal ones for this. They always do it, and it always looks weird.

Yenny

With this, I'm done. Hope you have a happy new year.